Is it easier to develop a relationship online than in real life?

I think it’s easier to get to know someone and build a relationship without seeing the person physically because we can’t judge them by looks and appearance.

In my experience, online friendships are very easy to establish. I’ve made friends from Askville & on here who I know I’ll have forever. I tend to be more open with them. Some of my friends on here know more about me than family & RL friends do.

Yes, I think so.
But, sometimes it’s hard with choosy ones, who don’t like to be friend with someone who they haven’t seen or met.
Both have pros and cons.
You can ask virtually anything online without much reactions. But, it’s hard when you want to be caressed or loved. Physical is physical. Just think talking on telephone or chatting with your parents or friends and talking or meeting them firsthand.

It’s easier, but I would NEVER substitute it for a face to face, ‘cause there are so many non verbal cues you pick up when you can actually see the person answering questions or making a point. It’s hard to maintain eye contact online, even if you both have cameras. You’re usually looking down at the keyboard for something…

yep real life is scary…. it’s a good gentle introduction

Real life is becoming a thing of the past.

It depends on the people. I’m capable of developing good relationships with people on and offline. But I find that I don’t like talking to a lot of my “real life” friends online. The conversation just isn’t the same.

I think its easier because there is always the computer giving you a mask. Anyone can be anyone over the internet… i find though that if i make a friend online and then i meet them, its really awkward. Also my real friends would always mean more to me than any friend i made over the internet simply because they know me better.

I think it’s very easy to make friends online, simply because you can edit yourself. You have time to think about what or how you say things -for the most part. I get very attached to my online friends, but there is always a thought in the back of my head, that they are fictional characters. There a small chance that I will actually meet them. I am also a very tactile person so, never touching them makes it hard for me go to the next level with them. There are a select few that I would actually consider meeting in person.

No, I find it better to have a REAL one than a VIRTUAL. I like women I meet face to face and only after that we can connect by Messenger or Facebook. I like to talk on line with girls I already know from my real life out there.

I’m pretty trusting with people I meet online. I think people are pretty much who they say they are. There’s one person here that’s confided to me that they’re NOT who their profile says they are. I find it pretty funny, & I’ll never reveal who it is & who they really are.

Online is the way to go. I allows both sides to get an idea of red flags. My soul mate found me online on Yahoo personals. You can see who writes the same plain jane stuff on their profile. Every online relationship has to be realized in the flesh before any meaningful commitment can result.

i have never had a on line relationship only real life ones.

sure it is, you can be ANYONE you want when you are online. Online, you are not who you except in the most general sense; you are who or what other people project upon you to be. If people want to project that you are an asshole (as an example) then everything you say or do is colored by that projection. Even the most innocent comment suddenly becomes rude and antisocial in their eyes.

I prefer real life relationships, for the reasons stated by @erichw1504 above. People cannot judge you for your fat hips, your short stature, a big nose, horrible complexion, or whatever flaw you bear in real life. Even on this site, peole choose an avatar to project what they want people to think of them, and some would never in a million years put their real face out there. They say it is to prevent stalkers and to protect their identity, but is it really? I’m skeptical.

In today’s world, you can google your name and find out all sorts of disturbing things that exist about you in cyberspace. There is no real privacy anymore, and anyone who thinks there is, is fooling themselves.

That said, I have a very close friend of over a decade that I have never met in person. We spent several hours every Sunday on the phone, we have communicated in IM, by turtle mail, and we celebrate each other’s highs and lows in life. We are very close, he knows stuff about me that only my wife does, and the other way around. We even send gifts and email each other frequently.

I want to meet him but the fact that he lives near LA creates a problem for me, as have anxiety about being far from home. Anything over 500 miles is a problem. Great Question by the way.

Oh hell yeah.

I know this may sound like it reflects badly on me, but I know it rings true for many people on the internet that I’ve befriended.
I think I say more, and I’m more I guess I’d say courageous. I don’t worry if the person doesn’t like me right away, and rarely fear rejection online. I don’t fear the making of friends online, and in person..I wouldn’t just go up to someone and start talking (I mean, I have, but not in the joking manner that I have done with some flutherer’s)
I feel very close to a lot of mommy friends, that I’ve been talking to for years and have met, from online. I also feel close to certain flutherers, and I have a feeling for both the mommy friends and flutherers that we wouldn’t have become friends unless we had this medium to do so.

I find that being online and not having physical distractions makes it easier for me to get to know the individual’s character. Then, when we do meet in person, I am already at-ease with them… so I feel more comfortable and less worried about ‘making an impression’.

@Psychedelic_Zebra As far as putting a real picture of me up here, I’ve thought about it. I can be found on the photobucket page for fluther & my real picture is on my Facebook page. I guess the main reason I don’t do it here is because I’ve been the squirrel since Askville days & I just carried it over to here. I don’t like it when people change their avatars every time they turn around. I can identify users right off the bat who keep them the same & I like that.

@hearkat I agree. I’d have no problem meeting any of my friends here, as I’d feel that I already know them. It’d just be an extension of our friendship.

@jbfletcherfan: I am the same way… my Avatar has been the same for years on many sites, and only changes at Halloween-time. A photo of my face is in the photobucket album, as well as in my FaceBook profile.

My original comment applies to generic social sites, like this and iRovr… from which I have made several true friendships. I have met people from these sites in person, and there’s many more I hope to meet sometime. But also when I tried online dating, I found that I connected better with the men who were willing to interact via email and IM, then the phone, before meeting in person. For me this is better, because once I meet someone in person and we have good physical chemistry, that tends to dominate our interactions for a while.

@hearkat yes, I remember you from AV days that way, too. :-)

@jbfletcherfan: AV = Askville?I was never on that site. I was a beta user at Yahoo! Answers, and that was my only Q&A site prior to this.

@hearkat really? Hmmm. I thought you were on there. Huh.

I never put my photo out. I don’t want anyone from the real world to recognize me.

I have noticed that most of the people on fluther are quite good looking. Maybe only people who are good looking place their photos on the fluther photo site. But even if I weren’t bothered by being found out, I don’t think my face would appear here. I don’t want to be judged by how I look, and I know that people do that all the time.

I try to keep my tail brushed. That’s as good as I can do. It sometimes gets all messed up when it…rustles. ;-)

The exchanges we make over electronic media basically makes us pen pals. It’s a topical relationship, because most of us will never meet in person so we can still keep our secrets relatively easily. Basically, there’s little risk.

So while it is easier, the online relationships lack the same depth that in-person interactions have.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic: I disagree. I think that if someone has something to hide, it is more likely to come out when there is some degree if anonymity. I am an exception, because I do not feel shame because if what I have been through or poor choices I have made, but there are several people here (such as our asker, daloon) who share very personal information on the condition of anonymity. He has indicated that he won’t post a photo and is not inclined to meet other Jellies in person. There are others who have secondary ‘anonymous’ Jelly names that they use for more personal or intimate posts… I feel a deeper connection with many of my online friends than I do with people I know in person and frequently spend time with.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic I disagree also. Some of the friends I’ve met on Askville & here are very close to me. I have pictures of many, many people printed out. We email, IM & talk on the phone. I feel closer to some of these people than I do RL family & friends sometimes. I can be more honest with them. We share secrets & we know they’re safe. There’s some I’d LOVE to meet in person & wouldn’t hesitate for a minute to do so. And it’s a matter of choice. Some I’m very close to. Some are friends, but they don’t trip my trigger. It’s like that in RL, too. I think it’s all what you put in to a relationship.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic I would meet the people I consider friends. I’ve done it on other sites, and plan to with people from this site..but I’ve been lazy

@casheroo: You have a toddler and one on the way! That’s busy not lazy!

I think it is easier to develop the beginnings of a relationship online. You dont have to worry about being nervous or saying something stupid. You can learn a lot about someone before you even see them.

But, it can all be ruined in person. They could have bad breath. They could be someone that doesn’t look at you when they talk… any one of 1000 things that can be ruined at a first meet, that you would never ask online.

It’s easier to develop one online. It’s easier to maintain and actually have one, in real life.

Unless you actually meet in person, there is no such thing online as a “relationship” in any real sense of the word. You have absolutely no way of knowing who is actually typing the responses into the computer.

Speaking of which, for those who are interested in meeting fellow jellies for real, I am hosting a meet up at a motel in Sacramento in April.

@YARNLADY I don’t know if you’re serious, but that sounds shady.

@five99one ???

@YARNLADY I know the majority of my friends on here because I have pictures of them that they’ve sent, have talked to them on the phone, & have them on Facebook. There’s only one on here, that I know of, who isn’t who they claim to be.

@jbfletcherfan Yes, exchanging pictures can be a fairly effective way to “know” people. I have viewed some home videos of people online, and shown some of my own, plus posting pictures of myself and family. Still, there are always those that will deliberately try to fool other users.

However, I still don’t think you can have a close relationship, because the unsaid things will nearly always outweigh that which is shared.

That said, I know of at least three couples who have began their relationship online, and are either married now, or will be soon.

Oh, and on the topic of not knowing who is really on the other end of the computer: video chat is a pretty effective way of proving identity.

@five99one Good point, that does come the closest to actually meeting someone face to face.

I’m currently trying to start a relationship online, and I have to say, it takes the edge off talking to a new person.

I only make relationships in the real world,

What I say or do online is for me to be myself and for me to review myself

Reading what I write and knowing me online removes any possibility of a relationship forming nothing personal, you are all fine people, It’s just not why I’m here

@drdoombot Hope it all works out. I find it easy to strike up a conversation & get acquainted on line.

Its easier to get to know each other online. But when meeting the person for the first time, you have to cross your fingers that their online personality matches their real life personality.

look at second life for example. People get married in the virtual world and consequently get divorced in real life. It is easy to behind the screen and you can choose to be whoever you want to be.

@YARNLADY In regards to the unsaid things, I’d say it is easier to be honest and say exactly what you think and feel via online vs. in person. I’ve had a few relationships (platonic and romantic) that have begun from meeting online. In every case, the person was exactly who they had been online.

@jeanna At least on line, you don’t have to participate in endless disagreements about religion, politics, child rearing and such if you don’t want to. When one of my blog contacts (the closest online people I have met) goes off on something like that, I just do not respond. With my sister, or FIL, or anyone in ‘real’ life, it’s much harder to ignore.

@YARNLADY I understand your point, but I think the difference here is that you’re referring to actually having those conversations just online. I would discuss all of things on the phone so it was just like being in person.

@jeanna I thought we were discussing the question (relationship online as opposed to ‘real’ life).

@YARNLADY and @jeanna:
Interesting… I will ask each of you and further the general discussion with this question:
At what point do you consider someone you know “in real life”?
‘Online’ implies on websites, email and IM. ‘Real Life’ implies in the flesh.
So where do telephone conversations, webcam interactions and even text messages come in?
If you progress an ‘Online’ friendship to the point of talking on the phone or via webcam, do you now consider them ‘Real Life’ friends?

(Geez, this is a chicken/egg question; much like asking “when does life begin?”)

@hearkat chuckle To me online means on the computer, just typing, maybe sharing pictures and videos. By the time you have graduated to phone or webcam, it has gotten a whole lot closer to “real life”. A meeting in person is the final “real life” step.

Like @jeanna, I believe that the people I’ve met online would be the same in real life. I’ve only met one person in real life, and, if anything, she was nicer in real life than online. Of course, she had a problem with written words. They always seemed not to say what they meant, for her. In real life, there was none of that kind of mistaken communication.

There are a number of people here I’d love to meet, and I’m pretty sure they’d be just like they are here. How could they not be? Some of the people here I’ve been interacting with for more than a year. They are all pretty consistent. Of course, if I did meet anyone, I’d have to have a bag over my head! ;-)

@daloon: A bag on you head is fine… but you’ll need a map on your (__|__) so we can recognize you!

@daloon I posted my face not because I am attractive, but because I wanted people to see what the asshole behind the snarky comments REALLY looks like; but thanks for the compliment.

@YARNLADY That was our difference because I still consider it an online relationship until they’ve met (I don’t use the term quite so literally as you).

In my experience, it’s easier to build a relationship online, and you can even visit each other and become very close, but the relationship will be shallow compared to the relationships that people in real life have.

An important part of our relationships is build on things that we can only do with people in real life, like spending time together and responding to the emotions that play over people’s faces.

It’s so easy to cover things up on the internet (regardless of what it is) that the best way to form a solid relationship is to spend plenty of real life time together.

Having said that, some people are much more comfortable online and really won’t have as close of a relationship in real life as they will online, which is a bummer.

I used online dating as “training wheels” to get good insight into dating in general, which has really helped me out now that I’m in college, so I wouldn’t discourage online relationships, but don’t let yourself get stuck thinking that’s all there is!

I met my soulmate online- yahoo personals. I replied to his profile and we emailed back and forth, google chat, then telephone calls and finally face-to-face when he got home. At the time I was a widow with a young daughter and he has 2 children from a previous marriage. We used our online communication to open ourselves up to each other, identify what we were looking for in a SO. we didn’t want to bring a temporary person into our childrens’ lives. Plus neither one of us is the type that goes out and socializes in large groups- clubs, bars etc. i am happy to say that we are now married and very fulfilled in our relationship.