How do you know you've met "The One"?

When you are both still together when one of you die.

When you know you can trust them and you would do anything for them. The one has a warm heart and will look after you when you are in trouble. They protect you when something bad happens to you. They listen to you so just wait and dont rush about waiting for things to happen.

I don’t believe there is one single person out there for everyone. I do believe there are a lot of very highly compatible people out there for everyone though. Sorry.

I don’t think there is one person for everyone either…I think, like @erichw1504 said, there are some people with whom you are very highly compatible, but a certain “one” person for every person on earth is unlikely in my opinion. Plus, what’s the chance of you bumping into that ONE person that you were meant for? If you believe that every one has a soulmate, this discussion kind of gets to be about God, right? Designing each person for one other person, somehow making them meet, etc….just a thought.

Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.

No, I don’t think that there’s one of “the one”. There are many people who would fit the requirements in the world. The trouble is finding one of them, even if they are many.

I think the greatest work lies in keeping them.

Couldn’t you, even if there is not a “one”, still have “the love of your life”?

@noelasun How do you know you’ve met the love of your life then?

I’m trying to think up a Matrix inspired quip for this…

As for the question, I think it would be very sad if there was only “one” for me.

I think you’ve met The One when you can’t describe how you know they’re The One.

You just know.

I think there are many, not one. I think it’s easy to find potential “ones.”

Here you go @Lightlyseared:
Neo: What did she tell you?
Morpheus: That I would find the One.

But the main question still remains with no answer… Even if there are many “the ones” and not just one,

How do you know you’ve met one of the many “the ones”?

lol

@mary84 That’s for you to figure out.

I don’t know, that’s why I asked?

@mary84 And that’s the answer.

If you have to ask, you haven’t met him yet.

@poofandmook Exactly! That’s my point.

when there is nothing that can happen to make you change your mind. when making that person truly happy is all that makes you truly happy. when saying “i love you” means the same thing the first time you say it, and the last time you will ever say it.

This notion of finding “the one” is mere fantasy. It’s more accurate to say you’ve found one.

I believe in balance partners and then i believe in soul mates, both are great, but if you could find both then that would be the one..

If he is wearing a black trench coat, sunglasses and stops/dodges bullets then I know he is the one

If there was literally only one, statistically you’d probably never find them.

Unless you became eachother’s Ones once you meet. Maybe you are eachother’s Ones because once you meet you each unconsciously adapt yourselves to the other’s needs and wants.

I don’t know if I have met The One, so maybe I’m in for a big revelation someday. But I think this “you just know!” logic is pretty dangerous. It sets you up to be afraid to really question committing to someone because it makes asking that question a Sign That It’s Not Meant To Be. When really, you should always question a major life decision.

So I don’t know. I don’t buy it. But I guess I don’t buy the idea of The One in the first place. I just figure some people are better matches than others and that’s all there really is to it.

I would never know the answer, but I must hope that my instincts and hunches are fine. It’s hard to find and it’s more hard to stay in LOVE all the time. You should work on it every single day and hope it will stay.

@nikipedia “But I guess I don’t buy the idea of The One in the first place. I just figure some people are better matches than others and that’s all there really is to it.”

That might explain why you haven’t met the one, because you don’t even know how to recognize it or you just flat out haven’t. All i know is, if i don’t believe in something then i am not going to admit to experiencing it..

When their name is Neo or Jesus.

@OutOfTheBlue: Interesting analysis. Negative data is always hard to interpret because there are so many possible explanations. All of the following seem like viable possibilities to me:

*I have not met The One because I am not a Believer
*I have not met The One because there are 6 billion people on the planet and the odds are not in my favor
*I have met The One and didn’t notice
*I have not met The One because The One is a flawed concept that doesn’t exist.

Take your pick.

I dunno, I’d like to have at least two options, ya know?

A while back I cant remember where or who someone described their experience with love saying they were certain their first love was the One and it was amazing. And then it didn’t work out and their next love was even better and they thought this time it was the One. And it ended and the next relationship blew the last two away and it for sure felt like the One.

The point being, if you’re in love chances are it feels like they’re the one. And I think there was also a point that each love had to be better than the last for you to for sure recognize it as real love, but that’s less relevant to this topic.

I apologize for maiming your post whoever originally shared this. I would have just linked to it if I could remember where it was.

@nikipedia: I think the idea of there being “the One” includes that it’s already in the cards that you’ll find them.

“The One” doesn’t have to be a mythical being of perfection with ringing bells and doves when you meet. If you know what you want in an SO, when you find someone who meets those needs you have found your “One.”

I don’t think there’s 1. I think the definition for that person varies by each person. For me, the definition of “The One” is the person you want to marry and then do. So, for that person, it’s who I want to wake up to every morning, maybe have kids with one day, and grow old with. Some people get divorced but some issue has risen to prevent them from being happy, so it’s understandable that they wouldn’t want to be married anymore.

“The One” and “Love of your life” are relative terms, so you’re going to get varied opinions and they may not agree with your own. (General you) You can’t date every woman in the world and then decide which one is “The One,” so I don’t see how you could know there’s only 1 person out there for you.

You should watch the movie “500 Days of Summer”. It’s really good and touches on this subject.

@Iclamae So basically your saying at some point you would find two people you love equally? interesting..

I have found my “The One”. It’s impossible to describe the feeling or to explain how you know. It’s a deep rooted endless feeling of pure desire, happiness, joy, love and security.

It doesn’t matter that there could be another person out there that I could feel this way with; no one else matters but him. He is everything that is me and that I love. Life is always bright and beautiful, I feel that I can do anything.

My head is simply swimming trying to wrap my mind around him and how I feel.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
— Aristotle

I once heard a story…...

A young man went to ask his rabbi:

“Rabbi, I am thinking about marrying Hannah. You know her, yes?”
“Yes, of course, was it not at temple that you met her?”
“Yes…Rabbi, that’s true. I have come to ask you…is she bashert (my soulmate)? Is she the one that is to be my destiny? The one that G-d has chosen for me?”
The rabbi paused a moment and placed his hand on the young man’s shoulder and said very gently:

“If you have to come to ask me if she is the one, and your heart does not have its own certainty, there is your answer.”

Love involves Risk

Loving another human being involves risk, no two ways about it. Of course one calculates the risk involved and deems it worth taking. No, I do not believe there is only one person on this planet for each person alive, I think that is an overly romantic and misleading notion.

Yes, I believe there is the the one. When I met the love of my life it was like he really was my other half. I describe it as feeling as though God made him, took half of his soul and put in on a shelf, then gave that half to me a couple of years later. It just feels right. Together we are more than the sum of our parts.

The smell. You will know by the smell. When you meet the one, you will not be able to get enough of their smell. I could inhale him constantly and never, ever get tired of it.

I believe in the concept of The One, but not the only. In your life, you will almost certainly fall hard for someone, and feel sure they are The One. And for a given time period, they will be the One. For some, that time period will last their entire life. For others, it’s a shorter proposition… a wonderful relationship/marriage that eventually ends for whatever reason. After that, there will probably be another One. If there were only one, God forbid something happens to your One. Say your beloved spouse dies days after your marriage… are you now doomed to a loveless existence? I think not.

As to the initial question, there isn’t any real way for us to tell you. If you aren’t sure… s/he isn’t The One. That doesn’t mean it’s not a worthwhile relationship at all. If you love one another without reservation… if you are good to each other and for each other… commit. Don’t sit on the fence waiting for something better to come along.

@augustlan: You say, “If you aren’t sure… s/he isn’t The One.” This is what I am really curious about (although I am definitely not qualified to comment on). I don’t see any reason why this should be true. What if you are a naturally skeptical person and you question everything? Is your entire nature going to reverse when you meet The One or are you just never going to find him/her?

Moreover….that just seems like it wouldn’t hold up as evidence for anything else. Why do we make this special exception for The One?

@nikipedia I totally understand your point. You know (I hope) I’m a pretty rational person, and not one to I wait for a fairy tale ending. But… my own experiences lead me to my conclusions.

A) I am naturally skeptical, to the point that I actually called off my (first) wedding at one point, because I wasn’t sure I’d made the right (read rational) decision. All I can say is, about two weeks later, while walking into the grocery store with him, I was sure. It was a simple, everyday occurrence. Just… grocery shopping. And out of nowhere, I was absolutely positive. I married him, and we were together for 20 years.

B) After our divorce (mutual and amicable), I said there would be no serious relationships for a looooong time and I swore I would never get married again. Though I resisted vigorously, I ended up in a serious relationship with the very first guy I went out with. After more vigorous resistance, I married that same very first guy I went out with. Why? He was The One. I am certain.

Sometimes, the heart knows what the mind cannot. :)

You just know. I’m not talking about getting the “warm and fuzzies” when you see someone (although thats nice too lol) I’m talking about knowing that its “right”. It’s “meant to be”. If i’m feeling scared, or stressed or whatever is wrong with me I just have to look at hubby and I feel a calmness that I can’t even explain. Whatever it is thats bothering me will just melt clean away. He calms me, and makes me feel so safe. It’s just “right”. As I’ve said before, I was friends with hubby for a while before we were ever an “item” but when he asked me to go out with him not as a friend, it just felt right. Even though I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at the time, it just was “right”. He was “right”. Here we are over 26 years later (it’ll be our silver wedding aniversary soon) and he’s still the one. As I said, he calms me, he (at the risk of sounding very cheesy indeed) really does complete me. I also still get the “warm and fuzzies” when I look at him and he just kills me with those beautiful crystal clear blue eyes…. but thats something totally different lol :-)
someone

You can “just know,” but I don’t think it is impossible to understand that “knowing” after the fact. I think that often our non-linguistic minds understand or know things long before our linguistic minds do. It is the difficulty of transferring knowledge from the non-linguistic mind to the linguistic mind that makes it feel unexplainable. Some people never can make the transfer, and so they think love simply can not be explained. Others may eventually come to share the knowledge with parts of the mind that can explain.

A few may even have developed an enhanced ability for transfer of knowledge between the two types of thinking. I believe that meditation and dance and music can help us tune into our non-linguistic minds better. They do this by stilling the linguistic mind, enough so that the other, wholistic kinds of thoughts are perceivable to the linguistic mind. There is a logic to love, and it is perceivable and explainable with words.

Wait, who found Neo?

@OutOfTheBlue yes, I do believe that is possible, but I think you have to choose between them. And move on to a relationship with that one. With time, your feelings for that person will grow. I haven’t had it happen to me but I’ve known people who had it happen. My mother could have easily stayed with either of two men but chose the one she did with her mother’s advice. In the end, her love for my father grew to this enormous thing and she can’t believe she ever thought about the other guy. But at the time, she was completely torn between 2 loves. And if she had chosen the other guy, who knows how it would have ended.

Relationships are about growing. I’ll take back my previous definition. I guess it would be better to say that The One is the one person you want to give all of your love to forever, which is a decision that you won’t know the answer to until you’ve been with that person for a substantial amount of time. I think many men are capable of being given this title from one woman, but in the end, she will only choose 1. And sometimes, she’s wrong about who she chose.

Did anyone else think of this?

Hi ALL, go and see the movie “500 Days of Summer” and you will get the right answer. I liked it. Now I know the answer. There isn’t really “the one” there are coincidences in life.

with my case it really depends….. i do believe in ‘the one’ and i really think that ive found him, i would do anything for him, we have been together for roughly 6 years (we are still too young to get married) i would do anything for him, i think if you feel like me you arein love and have found “the one” every time i hear his name i smile, every time i see him i get happier, everytime i talk to him i get amazed at how wonderful he is. its like nothing you have ever felt, when you feel it you will know what it is.

Great question.

Asked myself the same question the day my first wife rolled out.

Up to then I sought a particular “type” of woman I knew was “right” for me. It occurred to me that if I knew who was right for me, I wouldn’t have experienced any failed relationships.

At that point, I accepted the fact that I didn’t have a clue, and resolved to simply accept the next woman who entered my life.

We’ve been married now over 20 years.