What might have been different had Adam eaten the forbidden fruit first?

Boys would be making $.74 for every one of my dollars. And I’d hit them back for it by tucking them into their g-strings because their mommies didn’t hug them enough. I’d get to wear the comfortable loafers and the loose jeans to work. They could cry about their control top pantyhose and stilettos. They’d whine and bitch and moan about hair stylists, makeup and take quizzes in magazines that only serve to depress them further. They would be objectified.

And yes, they’d be giving birth to bowling ball sized children through their penis.

I’d like to say I’d feel vindicated, but since the roles would be reversed. I would likely not notice, I’d believe that the world is equal and I would likely never realize the extent to which the other half is pushed aside. I’d probably never think about it.

Until I got to college and took some bullshit men’s studies course.~ ;)

He would have had no problem with Eve’s nakedness.

Nothing. They’d invent beer and have a few while Eve worried about recipes to cook the damn thing.

@Blondesjon
Yes and he wouldn’t have given it to her lest she become aware of her nakedness.
Woohoo! :)

Man “the tempter” would have been blamed for everything from then on.

My brain is sort of stuck on this because there is no way the men who wrote the Bible would’ve let the man take the blame for this. Even if the story is real and even if Adam had been the one to eat it first, it never would’ve been written that way. And if it had been written that way, it still would’ve been blamed on the woman. Eve would be known as the one who tricked him into being her “royal food taster.”

If the story depicts actual events, it could not be so. It would be sexist if the story was not true, and made up to blame the woman for disobeying God.
It is not sexist if the story is myth, and it has another meaning than traditionally interpreted. The woman, representing life, and offers it to adam, who accepts.

Sexist or not here, is all subjective. (Just my opinion)

@oratio
Whoaaa slow down there….introduce metaphor to the Fluther pool? What next similes, Haikus and hyperboles? We can’t have that.. ~_~

@SeventhSense ;)
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator

@oratio

I have also seen this T-shirt. Too bad few really learn what a haiku is.

Edit: Sorry, I forgot about the question. No, little would be different today. Certainly the sexism wouldn’t be inverted.

Impossible to get a guy, even the first one, to eat fruit. He would have fermented it and discovered beer or hard cider. And I bet the serpent had chips in his waist pack. (Do snakes have waists?)

@gailcalled . . . no. they are very thrifty.

@gailcalled funny you should mention that snake. My dad and I were just discussing this “When God ‘found out’ that the serpent had deceived Eve, He cursed him and commanded him to crawl on his belly from now on.” We wondered what the snake looked like before…

Great answers everyone!

@Blondesjon: As in “waist not, want not”?

@gailcalled . . . kerrekt

Humankind would have ended because it would have hurt men to have children and men are sissies. :D

Anyone here remember a short lived show by Norman Lear called All That Glitters? It was about something like this.

“One morning the Lord, She woke up to say, I feel like I wanna be creative today. So by all the powers I have vested in me, I’ll make the heaven, the Earth and the deep blue sea….  Things that swim, fly, walk, cry, creep and crawl, now I better make someone to name them all…. Yes, a human was needed in the neighborhood, so the Lord made woman and it was good. She said the Garden of Eden’s no place to be alone, so from the rib of the madam came Adam full grown…. As time went by, this groom and bride, followed the instructions and multiplied. She’d hunt, he cooked, she worked, he played, while she administered the government, he crocheted…”

Men would have had to come up with a different excuse for oppressing women.

Sexism exists in many cultures not influenced by biblical stories. Take India for example.

So my answer is: it wouldn’t make any difference.

@mattbrowne -even if they weren’t influenced by the Bible directly, they were certainly influenced by “Indo-Europeans” who had their hand in both the caste system and, likely, the Hebrew creation myth.

But, like the asker said, this question isn’t about reality…

@laureth We had no different in Europe. The system of the Estate of the Realm, was the same as the Caste system. I think what matt refer to, is that women are not very safe on the streets in India. Tits and ass seem to be common property.

I’d be on the phone complaining to my best friend about how my girlfriend is so disgusting, and how I found a bunch of porn on her computer. She never pays attention to my feelings we never go anywhere, most of the time I just sit there and watch her and her friends sit around drink beer and play video games…And why is it so hard to use a coaster!?! Then I’d make plans to gather the boys because we’re having a boys night in at my place to watch the Desperate Houseguys marathon. Don’t forget the wine and scented candles.

@Ansible1 Lurve for “Desperate Houseguys!” Lol4rl!

@AstroChuck
You have to encourage them?
Momma’s boy

Before there were large dwellings on Earth women were regarded as equal and they were admired for their capability of giving birth. With agriculture and the first cities came the first pecking orders, a male domain created by thousands of years of hunting.

Well the question you need to ask yourself why did they write his first wife out of the bible. Before there was Adam and Eve there was Adam and Liliath. And no i am not making up stories, there are reference of her in other books of the bible ,where her name is mentioned. they Basically blackened her image and ersed her from the story, because she was acting unlady like. God made both in his image, and Adam wanted her to be submissive, He said woman lie beneath me and she refused. went off, and then Eve came because God felt sorry for Adam basically because he was alone