Do you think you can grow into a relationship or do you think that it needs to be an immediate soul connection?

Either can happen although I’m skepitcal about the idea of “love at first sight”.
That’s usually lust at first sight.

Arranged marriages, long-term friendships which become romance, acquaintances who suddenly become attached…there are plenty of examples of slow-grow relationships.

I would trust far more in a slowly developing relationship with a broad base for the pyramid. The other thing is mostly dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin.

I don’t believe there has to be an immediate connection with someone. I know a couple who hated each other when they first met and now they are happily married. I started my relationship just as friends and we grew to love each other as time went by. We’ve been together almost 3 years.

Slow and easy.

I think in any long-term relationship, there has to be a “soul to soul” connection…whether you spark off in an instant or whether it grows slowly. You just have to figure out whether it is just lust sparking off or more than that.

Soul connections are not always recognizable at first. Sometimes one person sees it and another one doesn’t. That’s why it’s important not to jump into anything. Give it time, if it’s meant to be….it will still be there.

I think you should always take things slowly…..no matter what.

Betty Davis said sex was god’s joke on us, because it’ll get you together but won’t keep you together. I don’t see how I’d know someone was my soulmate unless hour upon hours were spent together in all kinds of situations. anyone can be charming.

I think there needs to be a spark. But there’s always the case of realizing what was right in front of you all along. Still, that’s a spark, kind of.

@pdworkin: What relationship isn’t dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin?

Most. All of that subsides after a time, and one is left with sympathy, empathy, love and companionship. Of course in the most reductive sense I guess you are right, but the feelings in a deep committed relationship don’t seem to me to be as blind and as driven as do the feelings in an infatuation.