Does an exclusive online relationship nix a new real world relationship?

Real world and virtual, if one is taking your attention away from the other, or if it seems to qualify as emotional cheating, then it is cheating. So, all emotions that come with this type of juggling two relationships and can happen and are valid. Jealousy, sadness, feelings of insecurity, it all counts.

Exclusive means exclusive. It means you commit your mind, heart, and body to one person. It does not mean one person gets your mind and heart, and another gets your body.

Dating someone online long distance? I never saw the point. Ultimately the goal is to meet someone that you can spend time with. Why have a relationship with someone you cannot meet right away? Or ever?

I think that online relationships make people feel good. They want the emotional connection… but they truely are not ready for a real relationship for whatever reason.

It is just like a long distance relationship. The longest relationships I have had, have been with people who live 2 hours away. Why? Because I have commitment issues. I don’t want anyone to get close. and having someone 150 miles away is an easy way to say… hey, I am in a relationship, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, but in reality we don’t give it 100%.

But exclusive is exclusive, no matter how you cut it.

I’ve seen a guy leave his wife for someone he met online.

There is something, in my opinion, freeing about speaking to someone virtually. You have the ability to begin a new relationship with all your cards on the table. In person, it becomes easier to pretend, to hide your thoughts. I am not saying you’re a different person, but it is much easier to release those embarrassing thoughts without having to look someone in the eye. I don’t mean people should lead separate lives, but the anonymity of being online provides a freedom you cannot achieve in person. (Unfortunately, I’d say a lot of people abuse this freedom.)

@The_Compassionate_Heretic I mean who would do such a thing, :)~~

I know I’m going to be in the minority here & be booed & hissed, (oh well) but an online relationship can be every bit as intense as a real life one. You can love people in many different ways. That doesn’t mean the OL one is less real. Especially when you’ve had the relationship for a long time. It’s two entirely different situations.

Personally, I prefer real world relationships. I can’t see having an exclusive online relationship. I need somebody to watch TV with, go out to dinner with, and so on. I would never start an online relationship with the idea of being exclusive to begin with.

@Darwin I don’t see where an online relationship could be exclusive, either, unless you planned on meeting that person face to face. But what I’m saying is…it can be very real.

@jbfletcherfan – I didn’t say online relationships can’t be very real, but I did say that they aren’t enough for me. I need face-to-face interaction.

@Darwin I understand. When you have both, you treat them according.

I think it’s how you feel that makes it real or not real. However, if the online relationship will never amount to meeting in real life and having something tangible, it’s more like a dream than reality, and perhaps a way to fill in extra time in your day until you find someone in the real world. I do agree that if you already have a SO in the real world and start a relationship in the online world, it’s diverting some of your emotional energies away from your real-world SO. So to me fits the definition of an emotional affair, as JLeslie described above.

Nothing good ever comes from online relationships.

Second life being the biggest train wreck of them all.

I met my boyfriend online. We talked for many months before we met. The thing about it is this.. Some people just aren’t serious, they just like the attention. However we were serious, and we’ve been together for almost 2 years now!

So we pretty much went from internet TO real.

@chelseababyy that’s a cool story. :-)

@ChazMaz speak for yourself…many of us found love online

Do you mean meeting people on dating sites, or meeting people online… and never meeting them?

@mowens The latter, I think.

Then I stick with my original post. Using websites to meet people is a completely different subject.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – I did. Speak for myself. :-)

And, many is a rather small number when the internet is involved.

I see it this way, there are people that purely just have an on line relationship.
If you take it from on line to real life. That is do-able.

I agree with @MrItty, if you consider it exclusive, it should remain exclusive. If you are in an exclusive online relationship, and you meet a real-world person you are interested in pursuing, you need to address that and break-up the online relationship…just as if they were two real world relationships.

I would say the real-world relationship trumps the online relationship (so long as you let that party know). Now just by being on Fluther so much you must know I believe you can make true friends online and that online conversation is fantastic. However the real word is much more important for our well-being in term of getting out there and enjoying life. IMHO.

Real world might trump online…..but either way…..you have to tell the online there is a real world (and breakup or rethink it)

Cheating is cheating….online or off. And I think it’s really unfair to both parties (online and real) not to let one know about the other.

Be honest.

@jbfletcherfan Why thank you!

if you don’t have a life and all your time is spent online then the best you can hope for is a online relationship,open the front door there is a real world out there get some sun.

I do not personally believe there is such a thing as a “virtual” relationship. A relationship with a person is a relationship with a person, regardless of how you communicate (or not). For some people, “only” having virtual contact makes it easier to forget this, but that does not mean it is not true.

For intimate relationships, the rules are made by the partners. It is not possible to say whether people who only meet online should be free to pursue other relationships too. What is possible to say that, just as in any other relationship, the partners should solve that between them.

“If you are involved in an intense virtual relationship, does that preclude a new real world relationship?” The only answer to that is – what does your partner expect you to do? Are you happy with and committed to fulfilling that expectation? If not, can you negotiate about that, or is it a breaking point for him/her?

No, the online relationship will fail eventually(in my opinion). We are humans and need physical contact.