Do you consider fluther confidential?

No. I always answer with the idea in mind that someone out there could read it…..I’m kinda paranoid like that. Have been ever since my Mom intercepted a “private” note between me and my boyfriend when I was 16. We thought we’d written it in code, too! Sheesh.

wait have I done that….?

I try to keep confidentiality. I have friends on facebook who are from a loss community. I never mention their loss publicly unless they mention it first. I try to keep that standard with all friendships. Of course it is human nature to “slip up” every once in awhile.

In terms of what I expect from others. I don’t expect much. I don’t say that to be rude but it helps to avoid disappointment. If I want something kept confidential I usually make that quite clear.

No, I don’t consider fluther confidential.
I am facebook friends with several people who are also on fluther, a few I know irl and a few just from fluther or other sites that have also come to fluther. When on facebook, I use the names my friends choose for facebook.

This is a very interesting question. I guess I’m not afraid of my confidence being violated, or I wouldn’t be so forthcoming with information about my life. Maybe the reason I feel this way is that I would never consider betraying a Fluther confidence.

No, which is why I didn’t link Fluther to my FB account.

I know several confidential things about several people here & I’d NEVER tunnel it through to Facebook. One shouldn’t overlap into the other about such confidences. And I expect the same courtesy in return.

nothing on the net is confidential

Everything you say here shows up on google, so Fluther answers and disclosures are not confidential. Actually not much of anything is. I have my fingers crossed about so called “secure sites” such as bank accounts and the like.

@rooeytoo Good point! I invented a new word (it’s part of an going game I played with a friend on Wisdm) and I don’t know how, but it can be Googled! It’s “Vodicille.”

The way I avoid that is to keep Fluther friends on Fluther, Facebook friends on Facebook, etc etc. Rarely will I ever mix sites.

@J0E BOO! Did I scare ya? :)

Same as @aprilsimnel. I won’t link Fluther to Facebook.

@Val123 I’m friends with you on two sites!

@JOE But you said you rarely mix sites! AND you’re friends with me on Facebook, AND on 3 other sites (OK, the other 3 sites are wisdm spin offs, but they ARE sites!)

Another thing….if you know someone very, very well, like a family member, and they come on to a site, even incognito, it really wouldn’t take very long to discover who they are, and they you. Not good if you have family members who don’t get along. :(

Once upon a time we had a new member show up on Wisdm. Something about them poked me, starting with the fact that they used their real first name and that in conjunction of something that was blindingly in their passionate favorite color got me to thinking. And this particular person would NOT have been a happy camper to learn that this other person (me—whom they’d have gotten along with fabulously if they never found out who I was) was there. Anyway, I got me the idea to pose a trick question, one that I knew was near and dear to their heart if it was who I thought it was. Sure enough, only got two responses, and one of them was her. She didn’t stick around, though. If she had, it would have been totally unfair for me to know who she was from the git go, and her maybe never finding out. There are so many questions I would have never asked, or comments I would never have made if I thought she would see them….

It amuses me…when I just Googled my name, it comes up as trying to spell my last name differently. And it came up as being in the UK. So I’m a little harder to find. Suits me just fine.

Not even a little bit.

It seems like we are rapidly approaching a time when nothing will be personal. There are too many holes and back doors to everything. I believe the transparency will ultimately be of benefit to society but before that I think there will be heightened anxiety and paranoia as we are experiencing in various forms. I think those who fear not getting something they want or fear losing something they have will be most paranoid. And I think there will be great upheaval in families and among social constructs. Respect and equity will be paramount in this brave new world. Maybe we are even here participating in a new approach to public and private lines being blurred.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic

Yeah because you answer every question like a robot.

Nope.

Not even close to being confidential. But I am good with that.

I don’t consider it confidential, but I would be surprised if someone said something in real life about me based on something I said on Fluther (other than the Flutherers I know in real life, of course). Say, if I went into an interview and they asked a question and I gave an answer and they said, “Ah, but on November 20, 2009 you said XXX”. Then I would be freaked out. Not because I thought it was confidential so much as that’s a lot of effort to find out what I said once.

Beyond that, I like having a place to talk where people don’t really have preconceived notions of me (well, they might now, but they probably didn’t when I first joined up for the most part). My friends are awesome, but they also have these ideas about who I am that it’s nice to shed online every so often.

Not really, but I’m tired of lying to people anyway

I would never knowingly give out information that was meant to be private or can reasonably assumed so.

Regarding Fluther or anything else.

Everything i type on fluther is between you, me, the CIA, the 10k plus users and the millions of peole that may or may not stubmle upon fluther during a google search…

Well, in a sense, nothing on the net is confidential. On the other hand, no one I know is on Fluther. And I’m trying to keep it that way.

It is a public site, why would anyone think it was secure?

@J0E I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean but you’re welcome to PM me if there’s a problem.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic I dub thee “Jermaine-2-D2”

@The_Compassionate_Heretic

That standardized response is exactly what I’m referring too. Loosen up a little man.

I ask questions here and I don’t link them to my facebook account because I have a lot more conservative friends in real life that just wouldn’t get this whole crowd. They know I lean liberal, but I just don’t need their smart ass comments.
If they were to stumble upon my conversations here I would be a bit uncomfortable, but in general, I’m pretty careful to remember that this is a public forum and I had better not say anything I’m not comfortable with the public knowing.

@J0E I just have to say after hanging with @The_Compassionate_Heretic you could not be more off base saying he is a robot. He has a fantastic dry wit that some might not get right away plus he is a fun and personable dude. So that being said please lets not stray from the topic anymore okay?

@Judi I know what you mean. When I try to tell people, some of whom don’t even have internet service, what this site, and others, are like, they just look at me like I’ma crazy!

@all… watch out guys… Jermain-2-D2 will fucking cut you!

@J0E: I have hung out with @The_Compassionate_Heretic a few times. He’s definitely not a robot, he is however very witty, funny and natural… and has big muscles. @Dr_C is correct, @The_Compassionate_Heretic could hurt you. He could hurt a lot of people!~ I think it’s great he’s able to participate in the fluther threads while being a more than patient and fair moderator.

I consider it more confidential the facebook, yes.

[Mod Says:] Lets keep it on topic folks. The question is “Do you consider Fluther Confidential?” Off topic and personal remarks will be removed.

[Mod says:] Come on, guys. Stay on topic. Continuing to derail the question is unacceptable and may result in a warning.

After a while it’s almost fun to get modded :)

I don’t think anyone could deduce who I am in real life from reading my stuff. I’m kind of an exaggerated form of myself online.

No. Fluther is not confidential.

More than once we’ve had people run into associates on Fluther. Usually it’s newbies and pretty easy to believe they are just doing it for a giggle (I have a question about my girlfriend… Oh my god, I’m totally your girlfriend!) stuff, but sometimes it quickly becomes quite clear they were unaware they both used the site and is a bit awkward if the circumstances are less than good.

Which is to say, if one of them was using the site as though it were confidential only to be reminded somewhat harshly that it is not.

@sarah826
How do you know, that no one you know, is on Fluther?

@SeventhSense GA. (choke. I always feel like I’m choking when I say “GA”)

I don’t have a FB account, or any other networking site. if you want to know anything about me, you’ll read it on here. There isn’t too much I’m worried about people knowing. If I don’t want anyone to know about it, I won’t mention it. So far, so good.

If anyone is nosey curious enough, nothing online is confidential.

I wouldn’t say something on Facebook that I learned about someone on Fluther (at least I don’t think I’ve ever done that), but I have said things about Fluther on facebook. Like, I might say “I wish I could GA that” in response to a Flutherite’s status update, or “This would make a great Fluther question”, or something about “jellies”. It never occurred to me that I might be opening a can of worms for someone who didn’t want Fluther to be discovered by people in their ‘real lives’. Hrm. Something to think about.

@augustlan I find my self looking for the “Great Answer” button on other sites too! Or putting ___ ___ and asterciks (for emphasis) into other sites where is doesn’t work like that! It’s hard not to let sites spill over into each other…

I kind of agree of with @judi that I am much more open and willing to discuss topics on fluther than a site like facebook. It is not that I am fooling myself into thinking anything on fluther is a “secret” but I would hope felllow jellies would not reference something very personal I might have mentioned on fluther on facebook. I have never had anyone do anything close to this, so I was not annoyed that some had done something along these lines.

I was just thinking there is some sort of unwritten rule, and understanding that we show different sides of ourselves, although both honest, on different sites.

@augustlan Me too, I look for the GA’s. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with referencing fluther on facebook; at least it does not bother me.

@JLeslie , Yeah, I use my real first name and my real pic, to remind me that NOTHING is confidential on the Internet, so I need to choose my words wisely.

I am not friends with anyone from Fluther on any other site as of yet but when answering questions, like @Val123 said, I always keep in mind that anyone could read it so I only add things that I don’t mind the whole world knowing!!

When I was a member of wis.dm (defunct) then I brought people from last.fm and also a poetry site so when wis.dm closed, several of those people became jellies like I did. Since joining fluther, I’ve interacted with some great people who are also on my last.fm, poetry site and also my facebook. So far no one has mentioned any toes being stepped on for what’s exchanged, I haven’t seen anything untoward so I feel very comfortable in fluther to share freely even though I know it’s accessible to anyone. There’s just not much about me that is shared that could ruin me irl, maybe a little blushing in front of particular people but nothing disastrous.

@augustlan I delete comments pertaining to sites I’m a member of that end up on my FB page and pm the person that posted them that I don’t connect the two so they know why I did it. Though… I’m a member of groups for other sites. Its not as obvious as a comment out there for everyone to see that might get them curious and follow me over. I have both Askville and fluther friends on FB, but I just try to keep them as separate as possible.

Yes, sometimes when I get PMs.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic could be a robot but nothing said in fluther is confidential.

this thread makes me miss @The_Compassionate_Heretic :(

@jonsblond Me too. I think of him often.

I don’t know who he is, I was on a quest… but the quest is futile apparently. Sighs…

I consider Fluther very public, which is why I chose the screen name I did. That being said, I don’t think it’s cool to go about posting things people said on Fluther or even making it obvious that they are a member on here on their Facebook timelines without permission. I use another site called Answerbag which is very similar to this one and it really gets on my nerves when an Answerbagger makes a reference to Answerbag and makes it obvious I use it on my Facebook timeline. I don’t connect Answerbag or Fluther to Facebook for a reason. So when someone does that, I have regrets about trusting that person with my real identity.