Shall we create a God?

One who understand that Sunday isn’t really finished until 17:00 on Monday.

Thou shalt not expect me to fix thy life. I’m not your mom. Man up already and save your own ass. I created a world where hard work gets you what you want, can’t you take a hint?
And this praying thing? Freaking get over yourself. I’ve got a whole universe to run here. I have better things to do than help you win your soccer game. And do you really think I’m going to alter my divine plans if you ask really nicely? Get real.

That kind of god.

Okay, I admit. Courage Wolf, basically.

Isn’t Dr. J the god of the Fluther collective?

Instead of a carpenter, we should go with an electrician this time.

A lot of people (That I know personally) have been doing this for a long time now…Creating a God/Higher Power of their own understanding, with attributes custom crafted just for them..this idea has been working quite well, as compared to creating one by committee, which we all know never works….If your imagination is just not working, you could just go with the flying spaghetti thing…

Big boobs and a sense of humor. Or, a lot like AstroChuckie…I’ll take either

Why bother, when you already have me?

If I were going to worship something I’d go with the sun. Sure it doesn’t give a shit about me, or even recognize my existence, but it did make my life and all other life on this planet possible…and will one day destroy the world. I like how simple it is, there’s no wondering what the sun’s will is or if the sun is displeased. It just does its job. It’s so much more dependable, fair and even tempered than any anthropomorphized god I know of.

How perfect is it that one of the earliest objects of deification was an object so relevant to our existence? And as ambiguous is the biblical meaning of being made in god’s image is, we are made of the stuff of dead stars. I love that.

@BluRhino flying spaghetti???

@pdworkin of course…silly me… modesty always ruined the fun anyways! lol ;-)

Sure ,the ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’; a rapidly growing organization, btw…

Flying Spaghetti Monster

I’ve asked this question before in other forms and other places, and I am always amazed at how people basically reinvent the same basic depressing old thing.

My conception of God is not a who but a what—a kind of library—which I’ve written about in detail elsewhere.

Because I don’t see God as supernatural, there is no need for dogma, scripture, or professions of faith; and no point in worship or prayer. With God removed (or put in his place) religion can go back to being what it was before there were gods—an attempt to live at one with the Cosmos.

We have. It’s name is Google and it is all knowing. All hail the mighty Google.

For those interested in what science has been up to in discovering who/what ‘the man behind the curtain’ is, I suggest reading The Field

As a different angle to this, I’ve thinking that if you took the Intelligent Design idea at face value, you should theoretically be able to deduce some stuff about the Designer. Not probably stuff actually typically associated with God, though.

He had an extraordinary fondness for bugs.

Isn’t this how the whole mess started in the first place?

My God would be balding somewhat, always be seen in jeans and a black turtleneck, and be based in Cupertino.

I’m imagining a god that doesn’t have any particular external manifestation at all. This god operates undercover and isn’t concerned about being known or worshiped. It’s not all-powerful or omniscient. It’s kind of a one-trick pony: It operates only through dreams.

These “divine” dreams are triggered by negative feelings toward others in the mind of the dreamer. This god then spins a dream in which the dreamer is the other whom he hates or disdains or resents or abuses. The body, circumstances, thoughts, and feelings of that other become the dreamer’s for the duration of the dream. Unlike regular dreams, these are easily remembered.

This god doesn’t need any scripture to get its point across.

My ten commandments.
——————————————————————-
1) Thou shalt help buid a Habit-for-Humanity house.

2) Thou shalt adopt a less-than-perfect-baby if thou espouses the Right-
to-Life-Platform.

3) Thou should give thy guest room to a homeless person.

4) Thou shalt be a big brother to an inner-city kid.

5) Thou shalt teach English as a Second Language to those in need.

6 )Thou shalt teach the illiterate how to read.

7) Thou shalt give the Enron and Worldcom stockholders and former employees
a tithe.

8) As thou art running thy AC at full blast, thou shalt consider global
warning.

9) If thee has more than two house, thou shalt give one away.

10) Thou shalt be an advocate for more bike paths in urban areas and get on
one, occasionally, thyself.

(shudder)

@proXXi Be Touched By His Noodley Appendage

http://www.venganza.org/

Even better commandments
skip to 1:45

Nope, I’ll stick with this:

“TWO SOURCE COSMOGONY: The One was, and was-not, combined, and desired to separate the was-not from the was. So it generated a diploid sac which contained, like an eggshell, a pair of twins, each an androgyny, spinning in opposite directions (the Yin and Yang of Taoism, with the One as the Tao). The plan of the One was both that the twins would emerge into being (was-ness) simultaneously; however, motivated by a desire to be (which the One had implanted in both twins), the counter-clockwise twin broke through the sac and separated prematurely; i.e. before full term. This was the dark or Yin twin. Therefore it was defective. At full term the wiser twin emerged. Each twin formed a unitary entelechy, a single living organism made of phyche and soma, still rotating in opposite directions to each other. The full term twin, called Form I by Parmenides, advanced correctly through its growth stages, but the prematurely born twin, called Form II, languished.

The next step in the One’s plan was that the Two would become the Many, through their dialectic interaction. From them as hyperuniverses they projected a hologram-like interface which is the pluriform universe we creatures inhabit. The two sources were to intermingle equally in maintaining our universe, but Form II continued to languish towards illness, madness, and disorder. These aspects she projected into our universe.

It was the One’s purpose for our hologrammatic universe to serve as a teaching instrument by which a variety of new lives advanced until ultimately they would be isomorphic with the One. However, the decaying condition of hyperuniverse II introduced malfactors which damaged our hologrammatic universe. This is the origin of entropy, undeserved suffering, chaos and death, as well as the Empire, the Black Iron Prison; in essence, the aborting of the proper health and growth of the life-forms within the hologrammatic universe. Also, the teaching function was grossly impaired, since only the signal from the hyperuniverse I was information-rich; that from II had become noise.

The psyche of hyperuniverse I sent a macro-form of itself into hyperuniverse II to attempt to heal it. The macro-form as apparent in our hologrammatic universe as Jesus Christ. However, hyper-universe II, being deranged, at once tormented, humiliated, rejected and finally killed the macro-form of the healing psyche of her healthy twin. After that, hyperuniverse II continued to decay into blind, mechanical, purposeless causal process. It then became the task of Christ (more properly the Holy Spirit) to either rescue the life forms in the hologrammatic universe, or abolish all influences on it emanating from II. Approaching its task with caution, it prepared to kill the deranged twin, since she cannot be healed; i.e. she will not allow herself to be healed because she does not understand that she is sick. This illness and madness pervades us and makes us idiots living in private, unreal worlds. The original plan of the One can only be realized now by the division of hyperuniverse I into two healthy hyperuniverses, which will transform the hologrammatic universe into the successful teaching machine it was designed to be. We will experience this as the ‘Kingdom of God.’

Within time, hyperuniverse II remains alive: ‘The Empire never ended.’ But in eternity, where the hyperuniverses exist, she has been killed – of necessity – by the healthy twin of hyperuniverse I, who is our champion. The One grieves for this death, since the One loved both twins; therefore the Information of the Mind consists of a tragic tale of the death of a woman, the undertones of which generate anguish into all the creatures of the hologrammatic universe without their knowing why. This grief will depart when the healthy twin undergoes mitosis when ‘the Kingdom of God’ arrives. The machinery for this transformation – the procession within time from the Age of Iron to the Age of Gold – is at work now; in eternity it is already accomplished.”

—PKD

We don’t have enough already?

can I remind everyone in a not-too-grumpy-but-getting-grumpy-jelly way that the question did specify… For those who do want to believe in a God…can the rest of you take your negativity elsewhere please (perhaps a different question….?) as this is supposed to be a fun question and not another God knocking rampage… thank you xx ;-)

I already did, have you really NOT been paying attention? Evelyn is the One True Creator. She loves puns, hates prayer, thinks fart jokes denote a higher form of intelligence, and appears to her followers in whatever form they most desire. She will also tell you the most outlandish stories with a straight face, and when you question her facts, she merely smiles like a deranged jack-O-Lantern and changes the subject.

Evelyns followers spend eternity snuggled up on her vast bosom for all eternity. Her non followers go anywhere they like, or would like to believe.

Evelyn is just as real as Jesus, Jehovah, Horus, Set, Mithra, or Cthulhu. She’s just WAY better looking.

Evelyn appears to most men as a 300 foot tall black woman with six breasts. None of the females I know who believe in Evelyn have described their vision of her, but I would assume it is aestetically pleasing.

Two things Evelyn are known for. One is her mantra Life is about choices your results may vary and the other is her way of greeting you and wishing you farewell, Evelyn loves ya, baby!

I don’t feel a god is necessary. I can live my life just dandy and have morals, without an Ubermensch.

@Psychedelic_Zebra I’ve always wondered what she was like..yes I was paying attention.. :-) thank you x

@lynneblundell Oh, I’m sorry, I missed that first part. I wouldn’t call this negativity, though. That’s a rather biased way to describe someone who chooses not to believe in a god.

@lynneblundell oh and few other things. When Evelyn farts, it smells like sandalwood incense.

She is fascinated by human customs, and will often take on human form to walk amongst us. You can usually tell it is her, because she will be working in a retail or public position, and be wearing a name tag with the name Evelyn. So if your cashier or your waitress is named Evelyn, I suggest you be very nice to her. Not because anything bad will happen to you, but when one interacts with gods, it doesn’t hurt to be extra careful.

She won’t appear as a politician though. Even a goddess with a screwy sense of humor and a love of all things erotic has some morals.

@five99one it’s only negative in terms of the question (saying “no” implies an end to the discussion… = negative) I wasn’t intending to imply not believing in God was negative… but I see how that would be mistaken and apologies for an offence caused x :-)

@Capt_Bloth: I’ll sign anything…just don’t make me read that.

@gailcalled That is by far the longest answer I have ever given (the previous winner was four sentences), but it is pretty cool. In a nutshell, God is deranged and killed Jesus.

@Capt_Both: Interesting that you can take that entire screed and reduce it to a succinct sentence of six words.

Not this one.

I have thought about this often. Well, I have thought about creating a new religion, so I can live tax free.

My God would promote the golden rule and would be focused on life on earth and not the afterlife.

His name is Tim
Timtrueman!
If you don’t agree, then your soul is devoid of lurve

@PretentiousArtist I don’t believe Tim Trueman exists.

I thought I was the only Evelynist on Fluther! Hoy, Hoy, Comrade @Psychedelic_Zebra!

Google. If we all join the cloud they really are gods. In most sense of the word except they’re real.

No. Religion is poison and I will have no part in creating poison.

What God? Surely, we should be talking about the Goddess?

@JLeslie you are an Evelynist at heart, we all are, I think.

@pdworkin I am the high priest of Evelynism, and although that hardly amounts to anything in the grand scheme of things, there are several Evelynists on Fluther. @Whatthefluther is one as well, and I heard tell that the reason no one has seen him lately is that Evelyn has made a trip out to visit him. I just hope like Hell she hasn’t stepped on anyone, she is sometimes careless with those big feet of hers.

@Psychedelic_Zebra I think you might be right. The more I here about Evelyn, the more I feel a part of her.

@Psychedelic_Zebra Can I be an acolyte? I’ve always wanted to be one.

@janbb like Evelyn told me when I first met her, that just knowing she exists automatically makes you an Evelynist. If you choose not to be an Evelynist, then that’s cool, too. Evelynism was never meant to replace any other organized form of religion. It is a supplemental religion, sort of like supplemental insurance. You cannot be denied for any other pre-existing condition, and best of all, no dues, no tithes, and no getting dressed up on Sunday.

Evelynists don’t proselytize, either. We may talk about it, but we never try to convince others they MUST worship Evelyn. That is simply wrong.

I guess I’m the only trueden on this site :(

@Fyrius Lurve.. for Fyrius,,

I would add one more item to @gailcalled‘s wonderful list:

11) Thou shalt sign a commitment to restrict greenhouse gas emissions at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen, Denmark on December 18, 2009

Consider it a special Christmas gift to all of humanity and every living species on planet Earth.

@mattbrowne But, have you watched this my friend?...
I wonder what you think about the opinions of these eminent ‘scientists’.

@lloydbird How awful! Why are they trying to trick us into cleaning up the planet?

@lloydbird – Climate change deniers are almost as common as evolution deniers. And there are more qualified scientists who see a career opportunity with all the funding coming from the fossil fuel industry. The majority of reputable scientists worldwide warn us about the consequences of climate change. It’s not a swindle. It’s real. And most likely human emissions do contribute. We need to play it safe.

@mattbrowne I’m not convinced…at all

@lynneblundell – Sorry to hear that. Sadly the denial campaigns seem pretty effective. I’m glad that our top politicians like Obama and Merkel listen to the reputable scientists. Even totalitarian regimes like the one in China realized they need to reduce carbon emissions. But we are going off topic here.

quite :-)