Who do you exchange gifts with?

When I am close enough with someone to want to give them gifts, I prefer to discover things I know they will like, and make the present then and there without regard to holiday or occasion.

I too am in favor of spontaneous and unbirthday gifts. I like receiving those also, but I can happily go to my grave having given and not received. Anyone want to visit me and pick up some stuff?

If I know someone’s birthday, I call or send a card or email on the occasion. I have three friends from school/childhood who I still exchange gifts with. And my parents get gifts on their birthdays/anniversary. When Christmas rolls around, these same people plus my grandmother get gifts.

I’m also a big fan of randomly sending people inexpensive things that remind me of them, no matter who they are. I like letting people know I’m thinking of them. :) @Jeruba has gotten a poem or two in her Fluther inbox from me in the past because of this habit.

@gailcalled Yes, give me that address again. :)

This is one of my most shameful traits. I have even been known to forget one of my children’s birthdays. Now that they are adults and I have grand children, and son in laws, I have begged them to take charge and remind me, over and over again. It is not that I don’t WANT to give the gifts, it’s that I am just such a scatter brain. That’s why I will always bring a gift to a party, but otherwise, my friends don’t even get cards from me. I wish I was better at this. I need a personal secretary.
@PandoraBoxx ; Sorry if you’re one of my friends. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you!!
I do give random ubirthday gifts all the time though.

We do not exchange gifts, we give gifts

It is not truly a gift if you expect something in return

@pdworkin stole my answer, great minds think alike. =) I don’t wait for holidays to give people things I know they will like. That seems so limiting somehow.

As Evelyn says: Life is about choices, your results may vay.

@MacBean @Dog did that for me once.

I exchange gifts with one of my best friends.
I give gifts to my wife, kids, and my neices and nephews.
I prefer the arrangement I have with a couple of my best friends. Instead of exchanging gifts, we meet every Christmas season for dinner and a nice restaurant.

I have one (my best) friend who I try to remember to get a birthday and Christmas gift for. I remember at Christmas usually, but sometimes I forget at his birthday (which I always feel bad about, because he always remembers mine!) I also try to remember to get my housemates each something for Christmas/Hannukah, but not their birthdays.

I have another group of friends that tends to do a Christmas gift exchange, just little things. And I always feel kind of strange about it, and wish that there was some way that I could just make everyone dinner or something instead. I might suggest a secret-santa type thing this year. My immediate family does that since there are 8 of us. That way we all get something good instead of seven tiny gifts! Less pressure and more fun.

In terms of my birthday gift-giving, I am HORRIBLY inconsistent about it in every way possible. Let’s say you’re my little sister. One year you’ll get nothing but a pair of adorable mittens, one year you’ll get nothing but a phone call, the next you’ll get four DVDs but it’ll be a month or two late! And thus, in return, I tend to expect nothing and get very excited when I receive any kind of gift.

I personally would rather give/get gifts at random time. It seems like most who are answering this question are in the same camp. Sometimes I give things that I like and want to share (and hope the recipient likes, too. But I have no control over that.) Other times, I see something that I know someone would really like, and I gift that then, usually unwrapped.

@Judi, I wouldn’t notice, and it wouldn’t impact our relationship at all. :-)

@gailcalled, I’ve been thinking about gifting things that I have that I know other people would like to have, because they’ve admired them, or they fit their lifestyle better than mine. Like the collection of crystal decanters that I never use, or the 18 gold rimmed footed compote dishes that I bought to serve charlotte russe in at Easter, and only used twice, or an infinite number of serving dishes that never get used anymore.

@PandoraBoxx: A good idea but make sure the giftee wants to serve Charlotte Russe or decanted Port.

But think of all the stuff you will no longer have to dust, repair, store or launder.

@Chyna:Let me know when you are going to be near the Berkshires and then be prepared to hire a You-Haul.

(Aside:Why is this so much more fun than getting my butt into my SUV and going marketing for ingredients that I never use, and that my daughter wants for her cooking orgy?)

I’m thinking perhaps sorbet in the dishes, or vanilla ice cream with raspberry sauce. I quit entertaining about 10 years ago when I noticed that I was the only one (besides the friends with the annual birthday parties) that ever went to the effort and expense. I miss it on one level, because I find the attention to detail an graciousness of a well-set table is becoming lost, and I feel like I’ve lost a bit of civility because of it. Eating Christmas dinner in the kitchen last year was depressing. Lots about last Christmas was depressing. I used to clean the house from top to bottom, put fresh flowers in all the rooms, serve 3–4 different appetizers, cocktails, and then a really lovely dinner—placecards, table decorations, the whole bit. Good crystal, silver, great coffee with interesting things to put in it… Sigh. The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.

@PandoraBoxx :

“from Marlowe’s Jew of Malta,

Barabas: ”—but that was in another country;
And besides, the wench is dead.”

And note that I have still not left to go marketing.

In previous years my fiancé and I have bought every family member (on both sides) a fairly decent gift for Christmas. Last year after getting almost nothing in return from either sides, we have decided to make lots of homemade cookies for everyone. We simply can’t afford the cost of nice gifts for everyone this year.

@gailcalled Go shopping already. Ok, ok, I’m going to the store now. (Should’ve gone 2 hours ago, too.)

@gailcalled, @chyna me, too. Let’s all head out the door at the same time. 1, 2, 3…go!

I don’t exchange gifts much. If my husband and I go to Christmas at his parents home, we give gifts to everyone, if we are not present I don’t bother, except I always give the children (his sister’s kids and step-kids a check in the mail, and his sister’s kids get a check for their birthdays. My husband, who is a car freak gave his nephew a big check when he got his drivers license, and we will of course do the same for our neice, so it is like a signature uncle S special gift.

For the most part I give a gift to someone when I see something that would be fantastically perfect for them, no matter what time of year. Like I gave my girlfriend Chris a Diet Coke short set when I went to the World of Coke in Atlanta, because she is crazy diet coke loyal. This year I am taking one of my close girlfriends and her two girls to see the Nutcracker, partially selfish, because I usually go every year, and also her youngest daughter loves dancing, and since my girlfriend grew up without ballet I wanted to treat them to the experience, and I will love having a day with all of us together. I have never bought her or the children Christmas gifts before, it is a one time special thing, I in no way expect any type of return gift from her. This is more my style, special events or gifts that are very specialized.

My parents still give me checks for my birthday and Chanukah, and when they visit they buy my husband and I little things when we go out shopping, more like they just pay for stuff we would have bouht for ourselves anyway, rather than give us a particular gift (my husband loves this, even if it was just a $20 thing).

Many years my husband and I buy nothing for each other for Christmas/Chanukah or birthdays. It varies all over the map.

Generally I would prefer friends don’t buy me gifts every year, the obligation of gift giving is tiresome to me.

@chyna @PandoraBoxx:: Pin a rose on me. I have been and returned from market. Spent over $90 for baking materials that meet my daughter’s standards (organic unbleached flour and organic cinnamon, among others) plus some toilet paper, soap, tooth paste for guests and an organic orange pepper that cost $4.00.

@gailcalled I’m back too. Four bucks for pepper? You are a good mom!

I know. I get to be one so rarely these days that I pull out all the stops.

Kind of a byproduct of my youth as a nomad, I don’t have very many close friends that are close, or close friends for that matter. Booze mostly, or cigars for my friends. The Wife unit has many friends and likes to do lots of artsy fartsy craftsy, mid-west stuff of minimal cost. Family had a big meeting a couple years ago setting a spending limit due to the number of children involved and so now is simplified to a family gift. I got Very lucky that my brothers both love their prescriptions to Popular Science. Parent units are quite difficult so get slippers or dressing gowns. Did I mention that I would really appreciate a Shopsmith? (in case Mama is following any of my threads)