Does the good that fluther provides for many of us have a hidden cost?

The thing is, these are real people. You’re just connecting in a different way. Its not a bad thing to be moved by people on here, especailly if you know them on the site as people who are potentially being straight up about their situation and comments.

If, however, this became your only way of connecting with people, that would be a bad thing. :)

Exactly what @avvooooooo said. I love that this is yet another way to interact with some exceptional people.

Plus, I follow a simple rule: Never say anything on Fluther I wouldn’t readily repeat in real life.

Looking back, I never realized I lived such a complicated life. I find myself empathizing with the youth as they ask questions as they grow up in a world that doesn’t even remotely resemble the simple world I knew. I grieve, and laugh just as I would with any other group of friends. Something I denied myself for nearly a third of my life. I spoke with my counselor about some of the things we discuss and he agrees it is a healthy outlet for me being alone at the moment.

I find I get too caught up in things going on here emotionally at times and I do feel it can have a detrimental effect on my relationships in the “real’ world.

I’m a chronic over-sharer in real life, so the only difference here is that I can read over my answers and keep cringing ad infinitum. I empathize with Larry David’s self-character in Curb quite a bit.

As far as getting emotionally caught up in the site… I think it is unhealthy. I’ve been successfully divorcing myself from that aspect over the past month or so. I’ve decided that for me, fluther should be for information and for fun, not arguing or therapy.

I feel quite close to frequent Fluther posters, I smile when they write something great that happened to them, and I feel sad when they are hurting. I see nothing wrong with the connections made on a site.
I’m sure it can be detrimental to some, if they become too obsessed or too worked up. I think that’d be an underlying issue and not because of fluther itself.

Maybe time that could be spent doing other things, but that’s anything, so I suppose that doesn’t signify.

I think Fluther is just another outlet to connect with people, and that’s good!

Spilling my guts here also counteracts the whole “everything bad in life, every human flaw you have and every unpleasant feeling has to be SECRET or no one will care about you!” mentality I grew up with, so I’m getting good things out of being here!

I got caught up on another site several years ago, but realized that even though these are all real people, any reaction I have is my own doing. I can take things to heart or shrug them off. I now pick and choose how I react to certain issues.

I must admit, however, that there are a number of people I have come to care about and I wonder when I don’t hear from them for a while.

Yes. Every time you post something the site sucks some of your life force and feeds it to a giant squid in the server room which is preparing itself to take over the world.

I’m a fairly private person. I don’t reveal anymore about myself here than I do to peope in real life.

Well, even though you don’t personally know the people on here, the things we all say and discuss that are happening in our lives are real….sad, touching, happy, whatever they are, they ARE real…so no I don’t think it’s odd to be emotional about them. I personally am not but there are things on here that have made me sad briefly but since I don’t know anyone on here personally, I never give them too much thought.

Straight to the comment box. The people on here are as real as I want them to be, and they are imbued with the personality traits that I project upon them. That said, the ones I know well have become as friends. I’ve shared a lot about myself on here as well, and probably too much, if I were to think about it, and put all my answers in one place to read over all at the same time hopefully, the founders don’t make that an option anytime soon I probably won’t like all of what I read. I can be such a dick sometimes, you know. But much of what I have said here was important to me, and it was said to help others, so yeah, I can stand behind my words on here.

As for saying things I wish I hadn’t; yeah, that’s happened a few times. It was the reason I changed my Fluther name. The next time I change my Fluther name will be when I reach 10K again. I will continue changing my Fluther identity at 10K for as long as it intrigues me, or until the Founders think I should stop. The idea of having 20K, 30K, 50k, or even 100K doesn’t do anything for me. I like the newbie status, its much more fun.

Yes, my emotions are affected by the things that happen here. I have behaved badly, and dealt with others behaving badly as well. Unhealthy? Fuck, everything is unhealthy, put in th eproper context. No matter what we do, we are all going to die someday. Life is hazardous to your health.

That said, I am willing to hang around Fluther until I either get bored with this site or they ban me forever. Not sure which one will happen first, but I’m curious to see what does happen.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed and cried about things that happen here, both public things and behind-the-scenes mod things. I think that whatever we feel, we feel. And that’s ok. :)

@augustlan Thinking about what you said, it makes sense. Even though we’re connecting in cyberspace, the feelings are real. Kudos to you!

We all leave profiles on the web. This includes Fluther. 99% of all identities on the web can be uncovered by experts if they wish to do so, but often it’s quite expensive. So unless there’s a serious reason nothing will happen. Young folks should be more careful when uploading photos. Otherwise companies might have a reason not to hire them.

Have your emotions been strongly affected by things that happen here, and then those feelings get transferred into real life?

Yes. I had come to rely on a certain flutherite for support whenever I needed it here. I just learned that he left us last night. I’ve been sad all morning. I never thought that I would make such meaningful connections with others over the internet. I adore many of you and it’s sad when you don’t realize how important you are to others.

@jonsblond Sorry that you’re sad. I don’t know whom you’re specifically talking about but I identify with what you’re saying.

@jonsblond Me sad too…

Yes. i pay my cable bill each month, in order to be on Fluther.