What do you think about pre-marital sex?

I think it’s inconsequential. Sex outside of a loving relationship one could do without in my opinion, although a lot of people disagree.

Not a good idea, especially the first time. If you are both virgin on your wedding day, there are no infections to worry about, you both have the same amount of experience, no old flames, no past experiences to compare, etc.

@DrBill ; how come?

I agree it is wrong. I also have done it. I just wish I hadn’t.

@mowens ; so you were in the moment, yes? What’s the difference?

I have no plans to marry but I did lose my virginity to someone I love very much (and I am still with him). I couldn’t have sex with someone that I didn’t love but if I waited until marriage I would likely be a virgin forever!

I don’t regret my decision and I think that is the most important thing. It is up to the individual to decide what is right or wrong for them.

@DrBill
you can easily get an infection on any toilet, so yes, there are infections to worry about

Toilet infections are scarce as hen’s teeth. Infections from sexual intercourse are rather common.

I think it’s fun.

I wasn’t married. I don’t regret it. It was safe, with someone I loved and I was ready. No qualms whatsoever.

Unless you’re religious, I don’t see the problem with having sex before marriage in itself. A legality such as a marriage certificate isn’t the point. The point is to make your sex life work for you instead of make you feel cheap and sleazy. You also want to beware of diseases and pregnancy.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex with 1 or 100 people as long as you continue to feel good about yourself and you’re being safe. However, the best kind of sex, in my opinion, is with someone you trust and connect with. So, at least knowing your partner fairly will help in all areas.

As your typical college student let me say I enjoy(ed) it. I’ve only had one partner at this point of my life and even though she recently left me, I don’t regret it at all. Because…

1) We both are not religious.
2) It was always safe sex. We’re both disease free and I’m not a dad.
3) It was some experience under the belt. Our first couple goes at it were very…awkward we’ll say. Thankfully next time I’ll know what I’m doing right away.
4) I loved her at the time.
5) Feels Good Man

I think it was great to wait when people got married in their teens, but now days people don’t marry till their late 20’s, so it’s unreasonable.
When I was young, though, I wasn’t looking for sex. I was looking for love. I didn’t want sex with someone I didn’t care deeply about. I didn’t always stand by that, but that was my hopes.

I always say sex is for adults when talking to young people. Marriage might be very unrealistic since many do not marry until well into their 20’3 and 30’s. I don’t regret having sex at a young age, 15 going on 16, but it did mean that I was more emotionally attached to a boyfriend who really did not treat me well, which wound up to be a bad thing. It would be very special to only have had sex with my husband, but maybe I would also be curious about other people if I did not have a few before him?

Also, I second what @pdworkin says, so use a condom if you partake in the activity.

@filmfann That’s a great point. I think a common misconception that all young guys just “want some ass.” I didn’t ask my ex out just so I could “tap that.” And I didn’t have intercourse with her so I could go high-five my buddies about losing my virginity (Which for the record, I never did.) I asked her out because I though we could go the whole nine yards together. And we had sex because I cared about her, trusted her, loved her, and she felt the same way back.

Oh and for the record, we were both of age. Just putting that out there.

I think getting married to someone you haven’t had sex with and haven’t lived with is downright stupid. Compatibility in these two areas is vital and if you don’t give it a try beforehand, you could end up miserable.

Note that my mind boggles a little at people who get married before their mid-20s. Whatever works for you, dude, but… yeesh…

Casual “hook-ups” in my mind can be emotionally damaging but I have no problem with people having pre-marital sex in the context of a loving relationship. Disease issues aside, I think there is a value to experiencing loving sex with more than one person in your lifetime. I think there is an age below which one is too young to handle it; perhaps around 17–18, depending on the person. I am surprised at how much the pendulum keeps swinging backward and forward on this issue.

I think the origins of the idea of being a virgin when married comes from a) the desire to stop the spread of venereal diseases, and b) the desire for males to have their genes passed down to the next generation, not someone else’s. Those two very understandable concepts have been distorted and amplified by religion so that it has become, in some cases, an incredibly important moral dilemma. But things have changed since the time when the Bible and such were written, and it’s much more of a gray area.

When I was younger I thought about saving myself for marriage. I still believe that’s not a bad thing, if it’s what you really want. But since people are getting married later and later in life, the idea of staying celibate for that long is just unreasonable for some people.

At the same time, casual sex in my opinion is never a good idea. Sex, at least in our culture today, is something that is meant to be shared by people who really love each other. Sleeping with anyone you want just because it’s fun, as @janbb said, is emotionally damaging and can cause altered views of self-worth in a relationship.

In my opinion, you don’t have to be married to have sex with someone; it is just best if you are both very committed to each other and love one another deeply. I imagine this must be a very difficult thing to deal with for people growing up these days. Religion says to abstain until marriage, but the media shows premarital sex all over the place. Try not to make your decision based on either of those, but what you really feel is right for you.

It’s not pre-marital sex if you don’t intend on getting married.

Now seriously, I am married and had sex before hand, no regrets.

I don’t know why there are so many negative responses on this thread about pre-marital sex…these days many don’t get married, others can’t get married, many have sex outside their marriage etc…therefore the question is irrelevant to a whole lot of people…I have been married twice…I had sex waaay before either of those times…it was a good decision for me, no regrets and same for all of my friends…ease up people

It’s not wrong. It’s an individual choice. People who prefer to wait for their wedding night should do so. But they can’t speak for everyone.

What’s wrong is one pushing the other when he or she is not ready. What’s wrong is being careless about unwanted pregnancies. What’s wrong is not worrying about HIV infections when having sex with a lot of people.

What @mattbrowne said. Everyone is different and there is no universal answer for this and one of the most annoying things to me is when people try to push their belief regarding this matter onto other people. It’s none of their damn business.

Eh

It’s awesome!

I think its fun too.

your life will not change dramatically if you do it, you are not going to hell if you do it if you feel the need to do it just do it ;) just try to be careful…

Wow I am very surprised, I’ve never come in contact with this many anti-pre-marital sex in my life.

Sex is awesome, go for it. Yeah, wait til you’re old enough, but don’t miss out! If you’re worried about infections, just be safe. Use condoms. Pee after to prevent a UTI.

What if the person you’re marrying is terrible in bed? Some people just fit together better than others. You’re stuck with that person for a long long time if you don’t “preview” him/her before. I’m not saying that should decide if you marry a person, but I think you should be comfortable with that person

Also, your wedding night will no doubt be uncomfortable if you are a virgin. It took me a long time to really figure out sex and get comfortable with it, and it hurt for a while. I’m thinking back to my first time and I would hate if my wedding day ended like that.

I feel like sex is a part of being young. I’ve had a mix of relationships, casual sex, and one night stands and all have value to me in some way. I will bring all of this experience, physically and emotionally, when I find the person to marry.

Besides, sex is great exercise. I’m still sore from Friday night:)

There are people who are married and can’t stand each other. There are people who never get married and stay in love and together their whole lives. Marriage is a technicality, and should not be what determines your decision to have sex. Only love should do that. Just be sure you are in love, and if anything, wait until you’re older, when you can tell the difference between love and infatuation.

It’s fun and the workout is amazing.

Just to clarify my own position, I was not taking pre-marital sex to mean only for a couple that is engaged but for anyone who is not married and reiterate that I think the experiences have value. I do think one night stands can lead to pain, but don’t judge people who can handle them as long as they are not abusive or coercive.

Marriage is only a legal definition of a relationship. Having sex before you’re married doesn’t make you a bad person. Having sex outside your relationship, marital or not, does IMO.

I lost my virginity when I was 18 and old enough to think for myself. I was old enough to know what I was getting myself into. I have since enjoyed relations with people and have never caught anything because I’m careful. I also make sure to be tested at regular intervals to make sure that if I did catch something, I wasn’t in danger of passing it on. There was ways to responsibly have sex, whatever your relationship status. That is more important than the existence or absence of a legal title.

Al that being said, I fully support cohabitation before marriage. People should know before they get married and plan to be “together forever” if they can stand to live with one another.

Thinking that pre-marital sex is a sin is an antiquated notion in my opinion.

My personal rule is that I would never have sex with anyone (ok, anyone male) who I wouldn’t trust to do the right thing if I were to get pregnant, since I personally couldn’t have an abortion. I’m more lenient with women, since, you know, they can’t impregnate me so there’s less at stake. I’m still extremely picky about that though, and only sleep with women I trust a lot.

But honestly, if sex isn’t a big deal to you and you don’t have to have that trust with someone to feel comfortable having sex with them, I don’t think that’s a problem. I think you have to know and obey your own boundaries regarding sex, whatever they may be. For me, trust is the deal breaker, and other things aren’t so important. Many people think it’s strange that although the person I lost my virginity to was and is one of my best friends, we weren’t in a relationship. And I don’t regret my decision to sleep with him at all. :)

@troubleinharlem The difference between pre-marital sex and what? marital sex?

lol I didn’t know you felt that way about early 20s being married, @MacBean

I had sex before marriage and I don’t regret it. I only regret starting too young. I wasn’t emotionally ready as a young teen. If I could do it all over again, I’d wait until I was at least 17. But other than that, I see no issue with premarital sex. What happens if you get married and find out you have no sexual chemistry with that person. Oops! Big problem.

Its a personal decision. I chose to have premarital sex and now I know I definatly want to be with my partner and not wondering what if? Not eveyone thinks like that though…but to me I always try on an outfit before I buy it, I always read the menu before I decide what to eat, I always look before I cross a road… so what the heck… I am glad I tried before I “buyed”!!!

Just do what ever you feel is right for you, if you have found the one they will not sit in judgement of your beliefs and if they do, you’ll be glad you didn’t!

I always enjoyed it. And I’m sure a lot of other folks do too.

I think it’s not as good as holding off till marriage. Imagine the sanctity.. and yes I keep bringing that word up in all these questions… Imagine the sanctity of a relationship where both people are totally, 100% committed to each other enough that they would both wait for marriage. Nothing compares IMHO.

@casheroo: It works out well for some people! It just always amazes me a little when it does. Trufax, I personally can’t imagine marrying at any age. I’m good at long-term committed relationships. Butt something about being legally bound to a person freaks me out. (Yeah, probably never having kids, either.)

A moral wrong should not be a civil right.

@DrBill I can’t even tell you how much I disagree with that statement.

Not to mention that pre-marital sex was never not a civil right, so I don’t even really know what you’re trying to say here…

@fireinthepriory

You are welcome to your opinion.

@DrBill: Whose morals should we go by? Some people think pre-marital sex is a moral wrong. Some people think those people are foolish.

thank God.

Everyone sets their own moral compass.

Mine is set to no premarital sex. You decide where yours is set.

@DrBill
Interracial marriage was also once considered a “moral wrong”.

@DrBill Exactly! If everyone sets their own moral compass, then we could never possibly have morality be the deciding factor for what are civil rights.

@DrBill: But you said “A moral wrong should not be a civil right” which implies that you think people have no right to choose to have pre-marital sex… So which is it? A moral wrong shouldn’t be a civil right, or everyone sets their own moral compass?

It is both, If you decide to do something I consider morally wrong, you are the one that has to live with that decision.

as an example, I think abortion as a form of birth control, is morally wrong, If you think it is right, I still have the right to disagree with you.

@NaturalMineralWater I imagined it and went ‘meh’, shrugged my shoulders and figured concepts like ‘sanctity’ have only arbitrary value

@DrBill I think you’re confused about what civil rights are. You (perhaps unintentionally) implied that because you don’t believe that pre-marital sex is morally right, it should be illegal. I agree with you in that I think that abortion as a form of birth control is morally wrong. However, I would never argue that it should be illegal, because I think that’s dangerous. Moral “rights/wrongs” and civil rights must be independent of one another, almost by definition. It’s why people who don’t believe in interracial marriage cannot be allowed to legislate their moral beliefs, because they are discriminatory.

Premarital sex is a godsend for people who don’t get married early.

I believe that you should live with a person before you agree to marry him or her to see if you’re compatible. Same goes for sex.

i think that as special a thing sex is, you should wait until your married, not many people can say their virgins when they get married, i want to be one of those few.

What so special about sex, @bluegirl? Every rat in the sewer does it.

@pdworkin Nothing. Some people just don’t know anything about it, so they’re able to act sanctimonious and pretend they don’t want it.

@pdworkin
It’s special because it’s a gift from God.

@pdworkin Here’s where you “agree to disagree.” :-)

@bluegirl I thought sex was a punishment from God for eating of the tree…no?

Food is also a gift from god, so I’m not going to eat until I’m married either.

Where does “special” begin? Is it a “special gift” from God that I urinate with my organ of sexual congress? How about defecation? Special gift? Belching? Earaches? Influenza? Arthritis? Pancreatic cancer?

@bluegirl Bull.

Men, back in the day, decided that virginity was important in a mate so that they can be more sure that their children were theirs. That, and nothing else, is the origin of the importance of virginity. It has been turned into the monster that it is by prudish members of society, including those leading religions. There is nothing whatsoever special or sacred about it. Again, bull.

@bluegirl so God gave you this gift like a test to see if you can hold out through your teens and 20’s while waiting to marry when you think about sex every 10 seconds?

God did not put an age limit on it, high or low.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
the punishment was hard labor and with pain in childbirth..
@pdworkin
Do you know what the definition of “special” is? ....readily distinguishable from others of the same category, i think that sex differs greatly from belching, etc.
@avvooooooo
So you admit that virginity is important, and you should wait until your married?
@JLeslie
Maybe God is testing you, but isnt that part of faith?

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (TNIV, 1 Corinthians 6:18–20)

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; (TNIV, 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5)

I do not question the reasons behind Gods will, he knows far more than I do, and I respect what he wants.

@bluegirl yeah I know that…but since we’re not supposed to have sex for any other purpose than recreation, it’s kind of the same thing

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

Its not the same, sex is obviously for pleasure too…i’m not really sure how to prove my point with u. Do you believe in God, or do you question the whole thing?

@bluegirl Do you mean testing me personally? Or, do you mean you in the third person? I never feel like God is testing me. You brought religion and God into it. By the way if you wait until marriage I think that is great if that is what you want. I’m sure it will be a very special thing for you to only be intimate in that way with your life partner in marriage. I just disagree with judging anyone else’s decision or implying it is a sin against God.

@bluegirl eh, don’t worry about it, really. I’m an atheist.

@JLeslie: i didnt mean to trigger you in specific, thank you for respecting what i want…
@Simone_De_Beauvoir: haha

@bluegirl Do you mind sharing how old you are?

@JLeslie 17

@bluegirl My only advice to you is if one day you do lose your virginty before marriage do not stay with that man if he winds up being the wrong guy, just because you had sex. And, don’t get married because you want to have sex. I know people who have done both. I don’t know you, and don’t mean to presume you are going to do either of these things in the future, but I have found that most religious people raised to be virgins until marriage many times or not given options to think about in the event they find themselves in a situation they never thought they would be in. This is not a lecture, and I am not telling you to lose your virginity before marriage, again I respect whatever you choose to do.

@JLeslie
I understand, you sound like you have gone thru this.?...

@bluegirl No, I lost my virginity at 15. I never really thought I would wait until marriage, but I always thought I would wait until I felt very strongly about a boyfriend. My parents never emphasized waiting until marriage, just waiting until I was older. I was with my first for 6 years. We did break up once during the second year and I was very upset, and even more upset then maybe if I had not had sex with him, so I can relate to that. But, what I stated above is really talking about other people I know, people who put so much importance on sex and marriage that they trapped themselves into bad situations.

@JLeslie
Oh.

@bluegirl: Aside from everything else, my only advice to you is not to preach here. It’s usually not welcomed very well. You’re free to have your opinions, but so is everyone else, regardless of what God, if any, they believe in. So just as, say, @Simone_De_Beauvoir isn’t going to convince you that it’s okay, you’re not going to convince her it’s not. Every time you think, “I need to convince someone they’re sinning!” stop and think for a minute, and ask yourself if they could ever convince you that they’re not. Then you’ve saved yourself and the other person a lot of aggravation.

@poofandmook
yeah i know your probably right on most levels..but i did take some advice from @Simone_De_Beauvoir…but i knew when I threw the God card out there that a storm would start.

D: yikes, people.

It’s THERE.

@bluegirl I “admit” nothing of the sort. If that’s your interpretation of what I wrote, you need to work on your reading comprehension.

How in the world do you get “virginity is important” from “There is nothing whatsoever special or sacred about it.”? That’s ridiculous.

Let me rephrase it so even an idiot can understand. Virginity is not important. Men try and make it important to have power over women. Women-hating church fathers made it into a bigger deal. In reality, no. It is not important at all.

Do not wait until you’re married, fuck whoever you want whenever you want.

And consider the fact that your “God” is the creation of these same women-hating church fathers. The Bible is a book written by men to impose rules on other people that they thought others should follow. Its not the “word of God,” its what these people who wrote the scriptures thought was important and that everyone should follow what they thought people should do… even when they did not lead by example. “God” is a theoretical idea that has no real proof. Don’t start pulling out purported miracles, there is no proof. Period. Other people are not obliged to join in the delusion just because that’s what you believe to be true. Especially when it comes to moralizing on the “importance” of virginity that is a meaningless social construct.

@avvooooooo: I kind of love you a little bit. Let’s have pre-marital sex. <333

@MacBean Two sins in one? I’m down!

@bluegirl I neglected to mention that marriage is another social construction meant to tie women to men and providing a reason to punish them if they had sex outside of the marriage because sex outside a marriage relationship opens up men to the possibility that the woman might become pregnant with another man’s child. That is the origin of the custom. Its not some thing ordained by “God” that we should all do, its yet another way that men sought to control women.

So waiting until marriage, once you understand what marriage is, is even stupider.

Not stupid. I agree the argument of God and marriage is questionable. But waiting because you want that type of intimacy only with your spouse can be an acceptable personal choice. Not to mention avoiding health risks and emotional pain. You guys are being too rough on @bluegirl

@JLeslie If she insists on thinking everyone should make the same choices she’s made (probably through lack of knowledge of why she was influenced to make them), she’s going to have backlash. Trying to impose your morals, your religion on other people is wrong. Better she learn that sooner than later and recognize that people have a right to live their own lives without being preached at.

If she deliberately misinterprets and twists people’s words to try and support the point that she’s trying to make, as she did with me, she brought whatever on herself. That is inexcusable. I will not allow someone to twist my words into support for an absurd position and try to tell me that I “admit” to something that I did not say. That’s bullshit. And I will call straight up bullshit on it all day long because that is what that kind of ridiculous behavior deserves.

Doing something just because “God said so” is stupid. Doing it for other reasons has merit, but doing it just for that reason does not.

@avvooooooo Although I agree with you overall, I just think you were harsh. She is young and probably only knows the religious stuff she has been taught, she might have little exposure to other ideas. Let’s not make it that the atheists on the planet are mean, badgering people, but reasonable and pensive. Your information on the history of virginity, and how it is used to control women is all good. It makes me sick to my stomach how virginity has been twisted, believe me. I just saw an Oprah show where a 13 year old girl who was basically enslaved in prostitution was sewn up three times so she could be sold 4 times as a virgin for the men who believe that it will cure them of AIDS, more male fantasy, using women, girls, as though they are just things to be used and thrown away. Fanatic Muslims believe they will get 72 virgins when they die, all sorts of crap that disgusts me to no end. If a girl asks my advice I would tell her to forget about being a “physical” virgin altogether on her wedding night, or her first sexual encounter, because who wants to deal with that? But, calling names like stupid and using some swearing to get your point across I felt was a little strong. Again, if it were another adult I would not have felt the need to jump to her defense. I think we should consider who we are speaking to that’s all.

@JLeslie Thing is, I’m not an atheist. I’m someone who, instead of taking things at face value and only knowing what I’m told by people who only know what they were told and so on ad nauseum, investigates how things came to be and make my own decisions based on knowledge. The “God” of Christians is a perverted portrayal of a higher being, transformed into whatever and assigned motives, wants, and desires by the aforementioned people to manipulate others, including hating who they hate while still calling it a benevolent God. The Christian Bible is so full of contradictions that it makes no sense whatsoever. Two of many things that anyone can see if they bother to engage in some critical thinking.

I don’t care who anyone is, if they start preaching that people should believe what they believe and only that, that’s where the buck stops. Not to mention perverting my words. Freedom of religion is a beautiful thing and some people need to learn what that means, whoever they are.

@avvooooooo
I wasn’t trying to twist your words around, when i said that did you notice the question mark? I think you misread and assumed i was using sarcasim. I’m sorry i offended you, i have no intentions of forcing you to change what you beleive. Infact, i admire you for sticking so strongly with your gutt.
I feel like this topic has turned into a hate fest due to me, sorry, I’m gone

@avvooooooo I should not have assumed you were an atheist. I agree with you, that we should investigate, and the contradictions, all of it. Again, it was just that it seemed harsh to me. My apologies if it seemed I was attacking you in any way, that was not my intent at all.

@bluegirl “So you admit that virginity is important, and you should wait until your married?” was an incorrect summation of what I had said. There was no sarcasm anywhere nor an assumption of it. Nor did I misread. What you did there was take “This is a red pen” and say “So you’re saying that’s green pen, aren’t you?” Not at all what was said. And its my brain I’m sticking with. :)

I think it’s a good thing. A couple needs to be compatible sexually for a marriage to survive anyways.

The fact is premarital sex is morally wrong. People use all kind of excuses to defend their decisions to have sex before marriage, but the fact is was sex created to be used only in the context of marriage.

People use that excuse i have to test and drive the car before i purchase, the fact is what if the car is broken. Who would want to test-drive a rundown, broken car?

People often say well i have to make sure the person is compatible for me, That’s why people go from this person to the other person, trying to find someone who is compatible for them. The question I would like to ask you is DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE TO HAVE TRIED “FINDING A COMPATIBLE PARTNER” BY HAVING MANY DIFFERENT SEX PARTNERS?

The fact is there is a connection between both premarital sex and adultery; people who are more likely to commit adultery are those who have been living in sexual immorality outside of marriage. If one gives in to moral temptation before marriage, what’s to stop him or her from giving in to moral temptation once married? Because if couples cannot control themselves before marriage, who is to day they will be able to control themselves, when they are married, from getting involved in other relationships.

The more promiscuous you are before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery after marriage. One of the problem that leads to adultery is one will always be comparing his or her partner’s sex in the past to his or her spouse’s sex and his or her spouse will always be worried about performing their sex as good as the last partner’s or partner’s. Those are rotten fruit of sexual immoral behavior outside of marriage.

The thing I want you to know sex is wonderful gift that you should only share with only one person, that person must be your spouse. There is a line when it comes down to how many people you should have sex with, if you keep stepping over that line you are running the risk of contracting diseases. There is a little thing which says it does not take someone one relationship to get a disease, people contract diseases by having sex with multiple partners outside of marriage. You don’t know how many people contract incurable diseases as a result of looking for someone who is compatible for them.

The most common excuse female often use is because we are in love, the question i need to ask “How can you tell if he genuinely loves you if he is unwilling to give you a ring and a date to be married?

How do you know your love will endure if it is primarily a feeling and not a stated, public commitment before God and others?”

Well that becomes a major problem for a lot of women, when they are in a relationship with someone they think that everything is set and done. They give all themselves away to that person by saying that person is going to marry them anyway because that particular person is deeply in love with them. When that person breaks up with them they are devastated. The fact is in a relationship everything is reversible, having sex with someone does not guarantee that person is going to marry you. The reality is premarital is one the things which breakups more painful.

@arold10: You don’t seem to know what “fact” means.

@arold10 I have had sex with multiple people outside of marriage and did not contract any diseases.

And… my friend who saved herself for marriage DID contract crabs from her husband because he ultimately strayed.

@arold10

The fact is premarital sex is morally wrong. People use all kind of excuses to defend their decisions to have sex before marriage, but the fact is was sex created to be used only in the context of marriage.

There’s “fact” and then there’s what’s called religious fiction. You’re confusing the two.

People use that excuse i have to test and drive the car before i purchase, the fact is what if the car is broken. Who would want to test-drive a rundown, broken car?

I know no one who has used that “excuse.”

People often say well i have to make sure the person is compatible for me, That’s why people go from this person to the other person, trying to find someone who is compatible for them.

Somewhat, but mostly false. Compatibility is not just about having sex before marriage, it is about testing as many facets of a relationship as you need to and about learning about the other person before committing to something that may not work. Compatibility is about dating a several people, not about screwing a lot of people.

The question I would like to ask you is DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE TO HAVE TRIED “FINDING A COMPATIBLE PARTNER” BY HAVING MANY DIFFERENT SEX PARTNERS?

One that knows what he wants and chooses me because he knows that he wants me? Yes please!

The fact is there is a connection between both premarital sex and adultery; people who are more likely to commit adultery are those who have been living in sexual immorality outside of marriage.

False.

If one gives in to moral temptation before marriage, what’s to stop him or her from giving in to moral temptation once married? Because if couples cannot control themselves before marriage, who is to day they will be able to control themselves, when they are married, from getting involved in other relationships.

You obviously have no idea how many “moral” people cheat on their spouses. People who know what’s out there are less likely to go looking than the sexually restricted and stunted.

The more promiscuous you are before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery after marriage.

False.

One of the problem that leads to adultery is one will always be comparing his or her partner’s sex in the past to his or her spouse’s sex and his or her spouse will always be worried about performing their sex as good as the last partner’s or partner’s. Those are rotten fruit of sexual immoral behavior outside of marriage.

Somewhat true. But with decent communication about sexual needs and desires and past activity, this is not a problem for most people.

The thing I want you to know sex is wonderful gift that you should only share with only one person, that person must be your spouse.

False.

There is a line when it comes down to how many people you should have sex with, if you keep stepping over that line you are running the risk of contracting diseases.

Somewhat true. However, there are many, many people who practice safe sex and don’t contract anything. Its about common sense.

There is a little thing which says it does not take someone one relationship to get a disease, people contract diseases by having sex with multiple partners outside of marriage.

False. People can contact diseases from their partner who has had multiple relationships without ever having more than one themselves. Other STDs, like HPV and HIV, can be contracted in ways other than sexual intercourse.

You don’t know how many people contract incurable diseases as a result of looking for someone who is compatible for them.

False. I do know. But then I don’t think you do at all.

The most common excuse female often use is because we are in love, the question i need to ask “How can you tell if he genuinely loves you if he is unwilling to give you a ring and a date to be married?

Uh… What? That didn’t make much sense.

How do you know your love will endure if it is primarily a feeling and not a stated, public commitment before God and others?”

Are you familiar with the concept of “divorce?”

Well that becomes a major problem for a lot of women, when they are in a relationship with someone they think that everything is set and done. They give all themselves away to that person by saying that person is going to marry them anyway because that particular person is deeply in love with them. When that person breaks up with them they are devastated. The fact is in a relationship everything is reversible, having sex with someone does not guarantee that person is going to marry you. The reality is premarital is one the things which breakups more painful.

Breakups are painful because hopes of a relationship are ended… But more often they’re painful because of the way they ended, not that it ended. There are plenty of amicable breakups both with sex involved and without it. But because they don’t suit your idea of what a breakup is, they’re irrelevant.

Ultimately, you don’t know much around relationships and sex. That shows through very clearly in all the things that you posted that were false, misinformed, or what have you. Perhaps learning something about relationships before preaching would be beneficial. Good luck broadening your horizons if you are capable.

@avvooooooo I am amazed that you had the stamina to respond to all of that. My eyes glazed over halfway through @arold10 answer. More power to you.

@JLeslie It took a while. I took breaks, ate a cookie, chatted, read other questions… and broke it down to as logical of sections as it allowed.

@avvooooooo What kind of cookie?

@JLeslie Gingersnaps! I’ve been making post-Xmas cookies for mailing. The batch yesterday turned out to be over-floured gourmet dog treats. :P This batch was good!

Yum.

@avvooooooo

Sorry my response might be too long.
1) The fact is premarital sex is morally wrong. People use all kind of excuses to defend their decisions to have sex before marriage, but the fact is was sex created to be used only in the context of marriage.

There’s “fact” and then there’s what’s called religious fiction. You’re confusing the two.

I did know people were going to ridicule me for that, because that’s what sexual immoral behavior does to people. If you want your judgment to be clouded, if you want be confused and messed up get involved in sexual sin, it engulfs the totality of who you are. Whenever a person can give themselves over to sexual sin, they do not feel that thing in their conscious, they can accept it as a way of life, and they have become deprave in their thinking. So they defend it no matter what because that’s what they choose.

You say there is what so called religious fiction; I know some of you may disagree because people who are having sex outside of marriage hate the message of the Bible. The Bible says people who don’t believe suffer “a powerful delusion so they will believe the lie because they hate the truth”. Premarital sex is a sin; there is no sin like it because it is the only sin that you do with your own Body. Flee from sexual immorality. “All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13). Sexual immorality is a major stumbling block that prevents a whole lot of young people from coming to Jesus in a genuine way. I know some of you might say I am trying to preach them, or don’t try to impose my moral values on me, but listen one day I am 100% sure that I will turn out to be dead right.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. (1 Corinthians 3:18) if you among those people who are having sex outside of marriage just apply that verse because million are being fooled every year.

2) People use that excuse I have to test and drive the car before i purchase, the fact is what if the car is broken. Who would want to test-drive a rundown, broken car?

People use that excuse, you may not hear it.

People often say well I have to make sure the person is compatible for me, that’s why people go from this person to the other person, trying to find someone who is compatible for them.

Somewhat, but mostly false. Compatibility is not just about having sex before marriage, it is about testing as many facets of a relationship as you need to and about learning about the other person before committing to something that may not work.

Compatibility is about dating a several people, not about screwing a lot of people.
In this you are probably not going to admit it, people nowadays think there is nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage. I’ve read several topics about premarital sex where people even admit without premarital sex there is no way you can find a compatible partner.

3) The question I would like to ask you is DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE TO HAVE TRIED “FINDING A COMPATIBLE PARTNER” BY HAVING MANY DIFFERENT SEX PARTNERS?

One that knows what he wants and chooses me because he knows that he wants me? Yes please!

Well someone who has respect for himself/herself will never do something like that. Choose someone who has been sleeping around with multiple partners. It seems like there is nothing left in that person.

4) The fact is there is a connection between both premarital sex and adultery; people who are more likely to commit adultery are those who have been living in sexual immorality outside of marriage.

False

That’s where you get it all wrong those who engaged in sexual immorality are far more likely to commit adultery than those who did not.

5) If one gives in to moral temptation before marriage, what’s to stop him or her from giving in to moral temptation once married? Because if couples cannot control themselves before marriage, who is to day they will be able to control themselves, when they are married, from getting involved in other relationships.

You obviously have no idea how many “moral” people cheat on their spouses. People who know what’s out there are less likely to go looking than the sexually restricted and stunted.

That is not true; persons and couples who have had premarital sex are far more likely to have extramarital affairs as well. That is especially true of females. The Kinsey report showed that women who had sex before marriage were more than twice as likely to cheat on their husbands as women who were virgins at the time of their marriage. The same is true of men. The more premarital sex a person has had, the more likely he or she is to commit adultery.

6) The more promiscuous you are before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery after marriage.

False

This you are going to admit it, the more premarital sex a person has had, and the more likely he or she is to commit adultery.

7) One of the problem that leads to adultery is one will always be comparing his or her partner’s sex in the past to his or her spouse’s sex and his or her spouse will always be worried about performing their sex as good as the last partner’s or partner’s. Those are rotten fruit of sexual immoral behavior outside of marriage.

8) The thing I want you to know sex is wonderful gift that you should only share with only one person, that person must be your spouse.

False

You are dead wrong on this, “I believe that God created one man and one woman. He gave sex to us, and sex is to be enjoyed and is to be used within the bounds that God created . . . In sexual behavior outside the parameters that God created, we’re at high risk, and we’re seeing the evidence of this with HIV/AIDS. We’re outside of these parameters, and we have a huge global problem now.” Instead just at the consequences today because people think they know better than God.

9) There is a line when it comes down to how many people you should have sex with, if you keep stepping over that line you are running the risk of contracting diseases.

Somewhat true. However, there are many, many people who practice safe sex and don’t contract anything. It’s about common sense.

Well study shows that I watch and read people testimonial about how they contracted std most of them contracted as a result of having sex with multiple partners.

10) There is a little thing which says it does not take someone one relationship to get a disease, people contract diseases by having sex with multiple partners outside of marriage.

False. People can contact diseases from their partner who has had multiple relationships without ever having more than one themselves. Other STD, like HPV and HIV, can be contracted in ways other than sexual intercourse.

Most people who are contracting diseases they contract it as result of having sex with multiple partners. You say People can contact diseases from their partner who has had multiple relationships without ever having more than one themselves. The thing you have to admit if the other person was abstinent that couldn’t have happened. The truth is when you are living in sexual immorality you are not the one that can be affected by diseases. lot of STD don’t always manifest itself, sometimes it incubates there, and sometimes you can be a carrier that can spread the disease without having it manifested in you.

11) You don’t know how many people contract incurable diseases as a result of looking for someone who is compatible for them.

False. I do know. But then I don’t think you do at all.

The questions you need to ask yourself how do contract STD in the first place?

12) The most common excuse female often use is because we are in love, the question i need to ask “How can you tell if he genuinely loves you if he is unwilling to give you a ring and a date to be married?

Uh… What? That didn’t make much sense.

Hey I think you might be a male that’s why you answer it that way.

How do you know your love will endure if it is primarily a feeling and not a stated, public commitment before God and others?”

Are you familiar with the concept of “divorce?”
The reality lot of time people are in lust instead of love.

13) Well that becomes a major problem for a lot of women, when they are in a relationship with someone they think that everything is set and done. They give all themselves away to that person by saying that person is going to marry them anyway because that particular person is deeply in love with them. When that person breaks up with them they are devastated. The fact is in a relationship everything is reversible, having sex with someone does not guarantee that person is going to marry you. The reality is premarital is one the things which breakups more painful.

Breakups are painful because hopes of a relationship are ended… But more often they’re painful because of the way they ended, not that it ended. There are plenty of amicable breakups both with sex involved and without it. But because they don’t suit your idea of what a breakup is, they’re irrelevant.

If you date and you don’t have sex, you can forget about that relationship when you stop dating. But if you have sex with those you date and then break up, the nature of sexual involvement creates strong, often unpleasant memories for your whole life. Every relationship you break up where you had intimate relations is like a mini-divorce. The psychological difficulties of these mini-divorces does damage to your character. Later, when you are married and go to bed with your beloved spouse, these unpleasant memories will accompany you.

The thing I want you all know that I am on the right side when it comes down to the issue of premarital sex. Because I am on God’s side, God himself who made you in his image specifically says sex should be used only in the context of marriage. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Hebrews 13:4) I know lot of you might say I am trying to bring religion into it, or I am trying to bring God. I cannot temper my “good insights” without my faith without my faith my good insights don’t make any sense.

The thing I would you to know no one has ever disobeyed God and does not regret it later. No one has ever disobeyed God and does not pay the price. You might become so harden by the sin you’ve have committing and somehow you fail to acknowledge the consequences of premarital sex. First of all God knows far better than you do. The bible clearly says the body is not for sexual immorality and anything that you do outside of the boundary that He sets out definitely will not bring you satisfaction. You can keep having sex outside of marriage, or you can keep cheating on your spouse the truth is you will never be satisfied because you can’t satisfy yourself with something God did not create you to satisfy.

Just think where we would be if everyone was following God’s plan for sex. Every man would have their own wife and every woman would have their own husband. There would not be people out there defiling someone else’s future spouse. There would not be all those sexually transmitted diseases that are making people suffer. We would have more stable families; we would have stable society as well. Look at the babies born out of wedlock. Look at the 100 million abortions; all those dead babies that would otherwise be living with us. Look at all the crimes.

I’m sorry you haven’t believed in God. But He knows exactly where you are, and you cannot escape Him. You will eventually have to face Him, one way or another. The good news is, you can walk a million steps or miles away from Him, but He is only one step back. . God is everywhere in His creation; it is His creation. He will not allow sinful people into His eternal presence; where He is everything is perfect. So you can keep on sinning without being “fixed” and wind up in eternity without Him. Then you can sing Imagine for eternity and see the lie in it.

The devil is the one who is out there deceiving people that premarital sex is okay. The reality is sexual sin is one the best weapon the devil is using to destroy people. There can be a deceptive pleasure in sexual sin, but the after effect is devastating. A few minutes of pleasure can ruin not only your entire, the life of those who are having sex with you. All I know sexually active people are blind they do not want to hear about the consequences. Even though they know million are being affected by sexually transmitted, million of women and children are living in poverty as result of premarital sex, but they still come short when it comes down to admit if it is wrong to have sex before marriage , regardless of the consequences.

That’s the truth, the truth shall set you free.

@arold10 I don’t have time to go through it all again, so let’s keep it succinct. You’re wrong and if you refuse to see that, may your God help you. The main thing you’re wrong about it adultery and your ideas on the people who are more likely to commit it. Instead of a personal opinion, try looking at some research sometime. For the same reason that I can’t tell you all the reasons you’re wrong at length, I don’t have time to look it up for you. There’s been a lot of research since Kinsey, try reading some that challenges you rather than just looking for things that back up your position. The other thing you’re wrong about is STDs, but I don’t have the time or inclination to spell that one out more than I have already.

“The thing I want you all know that I am on the right side when it comes down to the issue of premarital sex. Because I am on God’s side…” Get off your moral high horse. You know nothing and learn nothing from others. When you meet your God, I think you’ll be rudely surprised. Get off Corinthians and into Matthew if you want verses. You are not right, but you are incapable of admitting that. Maybe some more reading in that book you hold so dear would show you that there’s more than just the passages you select.

I’m a female. One with knowledge instead of theories and religious propaganda. Try becoming a person like that and people might actually take you seriously. Until then, your self-righteous moralizing is, and will remain, disgusting. The fact that you cannot consider any of the things that I said that you cannot counter with religious is ridiculious.

“There are none are so blind as those who will not see, none so deaf as those who will not hear.”

I mourn the fact that I can’t give @avvooooooo more than one GA. Alas.

avvooooooo

I need to make that clear no research can challenge me when it comes down to that issue. As a believer I know God’s plan for sex is the best for me and the BIBLE clearly says that any sexual activity outside of marriage is a sin. I want to point this out I am a Christian, Believers are taught by God the Holy Spirit living in them. We are taught by the Bible. Nonbelievers can read the Bible but they will always misunderstand its meaning because the Bible is a spiritual book, and people who are dead spiritually cannot understand spiritual things. Again, that is Jesus and Paul talking, not me. The thing I want you to know is God taught me that premarital sex is wrong, so no one can challenge me on this.

The thing I want you to know if a Christian is involved in sexual sin then you know that the Holy Spirit would convict him/her of their sins. If a Christian does not feel any conviction then he/she are either not really saved or are so hardened by the sin he/she has been committing.

Research does show that when it comes to adultery it is not my opinion, research shows that people who were sexually active before marriage are more likely to commit adultery. Check this link http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2003-01-08-workplace-usat_x.htm. They are likely to be less satisfied overall with their sex life during marriage. That is, they adjust to sex more quickly, but their overall adjustment is less satisfying than it is with couples who wait for sex until after they wed. One reason is that their premarital sex experience can rise to haunt them. People differ widely in their sexual nature and skills. They tend to compare their sexual satisfaction with previous partners if they have other partners and they tend to get disappointed.

But let me describe what actually happens in a marriage when people have been impure prior to the marriage. At first everything is all infatuation and lots of sex. But over time the infatuation ALWAYS ends. But the marriage based on sexual impurity leaves terrible wounds on both parties; wounded people need healing. If both are wounded, they are very unlikely to be able to heal the other person. So divorce ensues.

People who wait to have sex in marriage always report higher satisfaction and few of them commit adultery. There are people who are counseling others about the issue of sexuality, and base on what they say there has never been a single person who waits to have sex in marriage who regrets the decision. Those who wait are less likely to divorce than those who have been living in sexual immorality.

They haven’t had to wade through years of baggage many have from broken promises, feeling used or sexually transmitted diseases…They have not had abortions, unwanted children or children out of wedlock. Those who didn’t wait will never know the blessings or security of a marriage where you share your whole heart and soul with one person. I would say the divorce rate comes more from those that start having sex young and by the time they are married they have given a special part of themselves with so many people there is little left to give.

The deal was supposed to be once you make a commitment to marry that person that is the only one you are going to be doing things with, is that person that you are married to that is the deal. If you stick with that marriage covenant you don’t have to worry with anything that breaks out. Isn’t that great when you get married virgin?

You probably become so harden by the sin you have been committing, you can be free from the bondage of sexual sin by accepting Jesus, then you would receive that gift the Holy Spirit that would guide you in your daily life. Jesus wants you in His Kingdom, don’t harden your heart, He can change your life. He can save you from eternal damnation.

I think we’re flogging a dead horse here, guys.

Hey, I think it’s the best thing since sliced bread

It’s as great as my finger in mike hunt when there’s no one to do it with

@arold10

“I need to make that clear no research can challenge me when it comes down to that issue.”

Which really means “I have no proven knowledge.” Just so we’re clear.

“Believers are taught…” But you are part of a group that “believes” while there are others who are not a part of your group. You want them to play by your rules. That’s ridiculious. You want them to respect your beliefs when you don’t respect theirs. That’s nuts.

The thing I want you to know is that you know nothing. You talk a lot, but you’re not saying anything at all.

Take your preaching and put it where the sun doesn’t shine where it belongs.

I second @avvooooooo and say take your preaching elsewhere. We are here for our fellow jellies opinions. Not to listen to preachers.

^5 @Narl

@arold10
People on here are rude and say they are open minded when their not. Sorry i couldnt rush over quicker to warn you. But if it helps you any, I’m on your side.
ps: @avvooooooo: don’t attack me, i just have this feeling its coming though. haaa

We are open minded, we just generally are not people who follow doctrine for the sake of following it, and we do not think everyone must agree. @avvooooooo would be fine with an individuals choice to wait until marriage I would guess, if that is the individuals choice, but disgusted by anyone judging or dictating what others should do or think. @arold10 seems to want the whole world to think like her/him and is making gross generalizations about people who do have pre-marital sex.

First of all I need to point this out the problem that I have with unbeliever when dealing with an issue. If you say something is wrong base on your religious belief, they get angry, they say don’t try to impose your moral values on me, you are trying to tell me how to live my life, and one of the thing they often say you have a propaganda. The bottom line I am not trying to cram anything down anyone’s throat I just tell you the truth.

The truth is no one is perfect; even God himself who is perfect does not force anyone to obey to him. First of all you have free will you can make your own choice about what’s right and what’s wrong for you. You can choose to do whatever you want to do with your own body, but at the same time God clearly says what the consequences are if you choose to keep disobeying him in a continuing basis.

My friend God gives you choice you can choose to do thing his way which will benefit you, or you can choose to do thing your way which can be devastating for your life, your children, and those around you. Check out this verse “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live. (Deuteronomy 30:19).”
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. (Proverbs 16:25) that verse mean you might think your way is the best, but at the end there are consequences.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but) the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7–8) In this verse God clearly says you can try to do thing secretly or in your way, but you can’t do you can’t deceive him because one day you are going to face him and give an account for everything you’ve been doing.

When it comes down to sex I do believe God created and He wants people to have it in marriage. And if you think you know better than him who created it, you feel there is nothing wrong with doing it outside of marriage just go and do it. But at the same time God is telling it is a violation of his law and one day you will regret it. Because no has ever planned to disobey God and does not regret the decision.

@arold10 our problem is you call it “the truth.”

JLeslie
The thing I want you to know is God never lies and the Bible clearly says God’s word is 100% true. The Bible says people who don’t believe suffer “a powerful delusion so they will believe the lie because they hate the truth”. God laid out his principles thousand years ago, but if you look at what’s happening today that clearly shows God did see something.

Base on what is happening today with all the consequences that comes with premarital sex that clearly shows God’s words it true. Even those who are over 50 years old who should have been safe when it comes down to STD, STD is on the rise among them. All of this are happening as result of people hating the truth.

@arold10 And the bubonic plague was from the Devil. Yeah yeah, whatever. The thing is I am concerned about STD’s also, but I do not think it is a punishment from God. If your child becomes ill do you believe God is trying to tell you he was bad? I am not talking about STD’s I am talking any illness. If you get TB but had sex only in marriage how do you explain that? And all of those people who died from AIDS because they had hemophilia, is that God just willing to have collateral damage? I would think God would have been smarter when creating that horrible disease not to kill so many innocent people.

I just have to add that my father worked for the Surgeon General when AIDS hit the scene. Surgeon General Koop wanted to get on the airwaves telling people to use condoms and the risks that come with sex and even moreso anal sex and the conservative right Republicans at the time, this was during the Reagan/Bush years told him no. Koop was a conservative man, but concerned and given the responsibility of the health of the citizens of the US. The administration told him that they were not going to talk about sex, or using condoms, for some gay disease. It is a disgrace that our puritanical inclinations in this country allow people to die, and allow to slow information out to the people of our country. I criticize Africa for not getting information out because of taboos in their societies, but America is guilty of the same crap. I can’t tell you how many young people I know who do engage in sex who have misinformation because they either can’t tell a parent they need help because that parent is so against pre-marital sex they feel unable to talk to them, or go to a school that has no teacher who is able to council them about safe sex. I have no idea if you are against sex education, I don’t want to assume.

@arold10 One last thing I am not trying to convince you of anything, I just want you to understand that there are many different people in the world with different beliefs. All you need to worry about is your corner and your ability to have religious freedom, and we just want the same. Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

JLeslie
I agree with you on this that STD is not a punishment from God because God would not punish people that way. But all i can say it is a plague from the devil, if you are blaming the devil is to blame for STD. If you look at how people are spreading it seems that those people are being used by the devil. When it comes down to disease we are susceptible to certain diseases because of Adan and Even sin. According to the Bible they were both tempted by the devil. God’s plan was to make sure we live a wonderful life free from any sickness, but the problem was because both Adam and Eve Choose to disobey God and obey the devil instead.

But those who lets the devil fools them into believing it is okay to disobey God pays the price.

Like all of those chidren who died from AIDS because they needed medicine so they would not bleed to death.

I’m done. I think we all are. You are on the wrong site.

@arold10 “The bottom line I am not trying to cram anything down anyone’s throat I just tell you the truth.”

Bullshit.

Again, put your preaching where it belongs. It does not belong here.

The thing I want you to know is that you know nothing. What you believe is “truth” is merely one of a million things out there, more and less true.

“the Bible clearly says God’s word is 100% true” And that book was written by who? Men. Men who wanted to dictate what everyone else should do. Men who are fallible, who contradict one another and themselves… The Bible is not the one and only truth. If you want it to be, you’re going to have to deal with everything that it says and not just pick out bits and pieces that you feel like dealing with. That means believing two contradictory “truths” at the same time, even when they don’t make sense.

Again, I think that when you meet your God you’re going to be rudely surprised about what he might have to say about your behavior. God doesn’t like bigots. Nor does he like those who would judge others. Look it up. I’m betting its in a part of your precious Bible that you don’t venture into much.

As @JLeslie said, you are on the wrong site. Take your preaching somewhere else. Answerbag maybe.

avvooooooo It seems like you are getting angry, the message of the Bible bothers you that’s why you reacting that way. All you are trying to do so far is to just discredit me by ignoring all the truths about what I am saying. People tend to be ready to scorn others for their religious beliefs. The Bible says “people who don’t believe suffer “a powerful delusion so they will believe the lie because they hate the truth.” People who are not living right with God always Hate the teaching of the Bible because that book irritates them; the message of the Bible makes them angry, and they do not want to hear about what the consequences are.

We are living in a society that has been so corrupted with sexual immorality. All they want to do is to drive that book out of our society. They want to eliminate everything that brings it back to them, so they become angry, bitter, hostile, and resentful.

“And that book was written by whom? Men. Men who wanted to dictate what everyone else should do.” I need to reiterate that again the Bible is 100% true. The Bible was written by different people, but those people who wrote it were possessed by the Holy Spirit. The Bible was inspired by God, so it is the word of God. The people who wrote it did not write it in their own, the Holy Spirit told what to write and how people should be living. The Bible is the greatest book in the world.

The Bible clearly defends itself no one can add anything in the Bible without God permission check out this verse “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. 19And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book. (Revelation 22:18–19)

Like I said Nonbelievers can read the Bible but they will always misunderstand its meaning because the Bible is a spiritual book, and people who are dead spiritually cannot understand spiritual things. Again, that is Jesus and Paul talking, not me

Like you always say “Again, I think that when you meet your God you’re going to be rudely surprised about what he might have to say about your behavior”. No, God is going to congratulate me instead because I am spreading his word which is the truth and the light of the world.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.” (JOHN 3:19–21) Here is why people you say take my preaching somewhere else.

It disgusts me that people like this exist.

I am not a judgemental person (or I try not to be) I am catholic and had sex before marriage, I know that my God will forgive me if he feels I have done wrong as he is a loving and forgiving God, it is for him to judge me when my time arrives and not for anyone else in this world to do so.

Preaching your ideas and thoughts and spreading God’s love is better to be done through action – showing people you care and offering support and guidance to those needing it not sitting in judgment quoting form a book that even the most religious of people would have to admit has some flaws and physical impossibilites in it.

Preaching your thoughts and ideas is a good thing, however persuming that you are right above all other thinking is both pretencious and almost God like immitation, therefore breaking one of the fundemental rules: There shall be only one God (sorry I don’t know the full reference)

As I stated previously, I had sex before marriage, which meant I went into my marriage fully aware of as much of my partner as I could be, yes we lived in sin! My cousin did not have sex before marriage, did not live with her partner before marriage etc.. and after 12 months divorced as they realised they didn’t know each other as well as they could have done even after being in a realtionship for 6 years!

There are 2 sides to all arguments (Other wise it wouldn’t be an argument!) and ensuring you listen to both and respect the other persons view is the only Christian thing to do! It is up to all parties to realise that we all live different lives and we should accept that without differences in people the world would be a pretty boring place!

@arold10 You wouldn’t know truth if it smacked you in the face. You are disgusting to all truly moral people, whatever their religious beliefs. You are unwelcome here with your preaching and prophesying and its not because we’re all heathens. Even Christians find your behavior here reprehensible. Do you see a single “Great Answer” next to ANY of your answers? No. No one thinks they are. Not even the people who might agree with you can stand the hypocrisy, the bigotry, the ridiculousness and disgustingness of your answers here. You’re not doing any “good” and in fact are probably driving people further away from organized religion with your judgmental crap. Judging, which if you would care to read in the scripture, is only God’s job.

Yet you presume to be God. Also against the scripture. You say that you are right and that you are infallible (against scripture). You say everyone should believe in you and what you’re saying. Oh wait! There’s even some “the only path to salvation is through me”! You’re setting yourself up as a false idol (against scripture) and preaching arold-ism and not Christianity (against scripture)! Just paint yourself gold up there on your pedestal and you can be the golden idol that scripture warns against. That’s the only difference. This is why you’re going to have such trouble if you ever meet your God. Because you presume to be him with all the rights he reserves for him alone, not to follow him.

Again. Leave. You’re not welcome here. As you’ve been told.

Gandhi (a heathen) said it best. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Until you are, shut the hell up.

@sakura
You probably don’t read all my answers for that topic. First of all I did say people have free will they can make their own choice about what’s right and what’s wrong for them. they can choose to do whatever they want to do with their own body, but at the same time God clearly says what the consequences are if you choose to disobey him.

I did say God gives you choice you can choose to do thing his way which will benefit you, or you can choose to do thing your way which can be devastating for your life, your children, and those around you. But the problem people have they just don’t want to hear anything that is against what they are doing. It seems like they have a problem with God’s words. Even if you simply say premarital is wrong they get angry, my friend that is the problem. Premarital may be okay for some, but for those who believe in God it is wrong.

The thing you need to know is Sin does separate people from God. Sin also makes people heart become so harden they just don’t want to hear anything about what God says about something. Sin also makes people become enemy of God. What I want you to know people who are living in sin tend to overreact when someone say something is wrong base on their religious belief. First of all God does not give anyone the power to judge people because none of us is perfect. But at the same time He gives you the power to tell the truth.

Just say something is wrong does not mean you are imposing your moral values on people. That does not mean that you are trying to say to people how to live their own lives. It does not mean you have you have propaganda, but the problem is people tend to overreact. Just read what they say take my message elsewhere.

People can choose to do whatever they want, but at the same time they shouldn’t get angry when someone says something is wrong.

@arold10 The thing you need to know is that you’re wrong. Barring that, the thing you need to know is that you’re not welcome here. We don’t like false idols and hypocrites any more than the next group of people.

@avvooooooo
Hey You hate me, it seems like I embarrass you.

@arold10 We would be open to your opinions if they came across as your opinions! But you state your beliefs as truth and fact, so we feel YOU are the closed minded one that is here. Fluther is not for closed minded individuals.

Open your mind @arold10… we are all going to have different beliefs. Accept that (without telling us we are going to hell) or leave.

@arold10 You embarrass yourself. Not me.

And what’s disgusting is that you’re incapable of seeing that.

I have my beliefs, I am unapologetic in them. I have my past, I don’t bother to lie about it to make it prettier. I don’t have to try and justify what I believe or the things I’ve done to a bunch of people by preaching at them. I have nothing whatsoever to be embarrassed about.

@avvooooooo
As you are saying that @sakura probably didn’t even read everything that i said. First it is my right to say God’s word is 100% true. The same way those of you think that having sex outside of marriage is okay, but don’t try to lash out at people who stand on their religious belief.

Hey let me tell you what people who are living in sin often say. When you say what you are doing is wrong, they say well you always pretend that you know better than anyone. They often say you pretend that you are God, or you think you are God, even though they know that’s not what you are trying to do. They often say well you are trying to judge people even though deep down inside them they do know that’s not what you are doing. The truth is it seems like there is something that blinds that person judgment and make him/her fails to acknowledge the truth. They always have an excuse.

Lot of you guys are asking me to leave that website, just push my back ah ah ah Just kidding.

@arold10 You would do better leaving God and Moral judgement out of it. Why not simply tell us of your own experience. Did you wait until you were married to have sex, are you happy with that choice? Did you not wait and now have regret? Your concern for STD’s, or emotional hurt, or what you think is a special bond if you and your husband have only had sex with each other. Tell us your opinion through experience, then we will be more inclined to listen.

You do not sound like a person giving an opinion you sound like a preacher in an evangelical church. If we want that we will go to church. That is not the goal here on fluther.

@arold10 I never said a thing about @sakura. Your limited level of reading comprehension is showing. Which is probably why you don’t understand about setting yourself up as a false prophet and how that is against the scriptures.

I have my religious beliefs. They are not yours. They lead me to live a life based on real morals, not following a book. I follow my well-developed conscience as to what’s wrong and right. You don’t have one, you don’t need one since you’re God, so you don’t understand that. Whatever. I don’t need people telling me how to live my life, I do just fine without following leaders of dubious morals and intelligence. And what I believe works for me. What millions and millions of people who don’t believe what you do have is beliefs that work for them that have nothing to do with your particular brand of bigotry, hypocrisy, and false idolatry. They’re going to get what’s coming to them which is far better than what’s coming to you.

You are sitting there and saying “I don’t judge people” and in the same paragraph are sitting there and judging people. That is ridiculious.

You are judgmental and stupid. You are setting yourself up as a false prophet. And your God of love is not going to be happy with you.

How many times do people have to tell you that you and your crap are not welcome here before you get it?

I did read all your answers, some in depth and others I skirted over as I felt they were becoming more of a sermon than your personal experiences, something I think this site does try and avoid.

I concede to the fact that God does give me a choice and that choice is my own free will, (it is not free choice if we are allowed to choose a path only then to be told the path we chose is wrong as this suggests that there is no choice but the right choice ergo no choice at all)
I said earlier it is up to God to judge what I have done in my life and not you. You may tell me bible quotes left right and centre and you may tell me that what I am doing is wrong (you are entitled to free speech) but do not expect me (and I hope you don’t) to change who I am because of God, if he is (and I amsure he is) the ever loving and forgiving God I have told about through out my Catholic upbringing when I sit for judgment his love will conquer all and I will be forgiven for what I have done. It is only those who do not want redemption and forgiveness that will not be forgiven. (or at least this is what I and my fellow congregation have been led to believe)

Please remember that God has put people on this earth to live with one another and not to segregate ourselves by giving ourselves greater importance over others. Remember Jesus was considered an outcast, a prophet against all the religions of his time, without diversity and free choice the world would be a different place and not neccessarily for the better.

As a foot note, I don’t feel I have done anything wrong, and I stand by the fact that I have had sex before marriage, if God feels I should be punished then so be it, but I am sure he will love me as he does now and forgive me as I try to forgive those who have done me wrong (intentionally or not)

@sakura
I agree with that no matter what you’ve done you can be forgiven since you confess your sin. But keep sinning on purpose is something entirely different. God forgives those who ask him for forgiveness and repent of their sins. Those who choose to keep sinning deliberately will not be forgiven.

@arold10 Your God. Not that of other people. Yours. The common delusion that you have bought into and made your own in your own twisted way.

@avvooooooo
May your God opens your eyes.

But it is still up to God to decide when I am in front of him whether or not what I have been doing is a sin, so I may unintentionally carry on sinning as I cannot believe everything other people say as to what is right, but can only listen to the God in my heart.

I sinned everytime I made love to someone wearing a condom, as sex is only supposed to be done to pro create, but surely God would have more to forgive me for if I did not use a condom and spread the STD’s you are so worried about.

We live in a modern world were sex plays a strong role, you will not change this as sex has been happening since the begining of time, other wise we would not be here!

You may stand in your glass tower above us all be be careful as those without sin should cast the first stone and if you throw yours too hard you will fall!

@sakura Brava. You have a far better idea, and explanation, of Christianity and reality than some here.

@sakura
God has always been the one who determines whether what someone does is sin. The Bible is God’s word, the truth is the Bible that you have clearly says what you should and what you should not do. If you are sinning you don’t feel guilty, you are either not really saved or are so hardened by the sin you have been committing.

First of all Catholic only believe that sex is only for procreation, but we as Christian we don’t believe it that way. God created sex for procreation and intimacy, but it should be used only in the context of marriage.

@arold10 You know as little about Catholicism as you know about everything else.

Not. Welcome.

You are pointing out the differences between religions somthing as a Catholic I have found very interesting, if religion is open to so many interpretations how do we know what is truth and what has been made to fit ones own or those of anothers beliefs. We know that King Henry the Eigth was a devout Catholic until it’s laws did not allow him to do what he wanted to do… divorce and remarry (and lets be honest have more sex, as this question is about sex before marriage) Thus he created a new religion based on Catholisicm which suited his needs better… his own (and that of friends) interpretation.

What you say and believe is your interpreatation of the bible and it’s meanings. So I put it to you that surley if you can interpret the bible how you so wish and King Henry can configure a new religion based on his own interpretation then we as humans and believers of free spirit and will, should be able to interpret the ‘laws’ of God as we so wish. Having sex before marriage does not break any constitutional laws as far as I know and morally it is up to the person how they want to live on a sexually basis (as long as it does not harm physically or mentally others)

This is why I have negative feelings about Chrsitians and have always thought Catholics have a brain in their heads. Just that Christians don’t really accept Catholics as Christians, even though Catholics accept Jesus as their savior is ridiculous to me from the start. Then this bullshit that every word in the bible is exactly the word of God is another riduculousness considering it was written so long ago and has been translated. Anyone who speaks two languages knows that meaning is lost in translation. And the flippin’ bible was written years after the events, stories kept alive by storytelling, and any 6 year old who has played telephone knows by the third person the message has already changed. Thank goodness there are Christians on fluther and in my life who also seem to have a rational mind and have kept me from being totally prejudice.

There are many good messages in the bible, why ruin it by being an ignorant fanatic.

@JLeslie you are so right in your thinking, a point quite eloquently placed. The bible like many books, plays etc… is open to interpretation, and can be taken on many different levels. And your point re lost in translation is most relevant too! We only have to look at fairy tales and other rhymes for many variations of Cinderella exist across different continents we cannot put all our faith and trust in one thing. I suppose it could be argued that this is what faith is… but to me it is personal and should not be held accountable by otehrs, unless it is harming others.

@sakura
Well everyone is free to interpret the word of God as they wish, but that does not mean God approves your interpretation. Anyone who violates the word of God by approving something that is sinful in front of God is going to pay the price dearly.

Check this verse “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. 19And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.” (Revelation 22:18–19)

As I have previously stated you can quote bible passages to me, if that is your thing, it is good to know you read so well, however as I have also said and you have conceded it is up to God to determine what I have done is wrong. I feel that the bible is an instrument that has been given to us to turn to if we need comfort and reassurance not condemnation and blame. If you choose to see it this way then it is your choice but I feel you believe your interpratation is the correct one and for this I can not agree with you. My bible may have a different cover to yours, a different font perhaps, it may even have been printed at a different date but none the less the quotes will probably be similar because they are form the storie and words passed down from way before our time. However it is the words unspoken, that I take comfort and turn to when I am feeling down. Loosing 3 people in 3 months, a friends sister being given one last chance to have a baby only for it to be taken away when it is firts born, it has been a tough year for me and condemnation over sex before marriage seems irrelevant in the scheme of life and its misfortunes.

I believe your energies would be better spent looking at the world and thinking what can I do to help rather than who can I blame and condem!

@arold10 Even if I followed everything in your book, behaved exactly as you interpret the word of God and Jesus you would still think me not worthy to go to your heaven. You care nothing for behavior in reality, but only for your precious belief in Jesus as your saviour. I have no chance in your belief system. Your strict views mean I might as well go raping and pilaging because there is no hope of salvation.

What do you gain by trying to convert all of us? It is quite annoying. You can believe whatever you want, just don’t push it on us.

@JLeslie
No one forces you to convert yourself into Christian. No one says you can’t believe in whatever you want. But all I can tell you let see how that plays out.

@arold10, what do you think of anal sex between a married couple? That’s pretty intimate.

@sakura
All i can tell you don’t let the devil deceive you into believing that you don’t have to believe in the Bible. Don’t let the devil deceiving you into believing you can live in a way that contradict what the Bible says. The fact is God is not going to be with you to tell you what is right and what is wrong. That’s why you have the Bible, since you open the Bible God is talking to you.

As you said I believe your energies would be better spent looking at the world and thinking what can I do to help rather than who can I blame and condemn!
You know I am gone!

@Narl
Anal sex is wrong.
I am gone!

@arold10 You totally missed my point.

@arold10 Finally! Took long enough.

Still disgusted by @arold10. But cheering @sakura. Christianity: @sakura‘s doin’ it right.

I leave with this Guys.
THAT MESSAGE IS FOR ALL WHO’VE BEEN AGAINST GOD’S WORDS.
As @sakura says “I believe your energies would be better spent looking at the world and thinking what can I do to help rather than who can I blame and condemn!

God does not want to condemn you, he is willing to forgive you, but if you continue and insist rebel choose to disobey God in a continuing basis for the believer his discipline is going to be strong, for the unbeliever his punishment is going to be unbearable sooner later. God doesn’t allow people to continue to live in disobedience, sin against Him. Whether sexual sin or any kind of sin without God bringing it to a halt. You either bring it to a halt and deal with it, or God will or one way or the other.

Bye guys, When the day comes you’ll know!
I am gone!

I quite reading this thread wayyyyy back up there…now I’m going to go have some unmarried, gay sex just as a form of protest. Bet I’m having more fun that you!

@syz Can I come? I’ll bring toys and a miniature horse so we can get it all in.

@syz & @avvooooooo
haha i would almost agree with you two, who in the hell aske this question anyway??? jk aaaaaaaaaaaaah

@ragingloli

you can easily get an infection on any toilet, so yes, there are infections to worry about

I’ve found toilet sex to be challenging, and hard to keep your balance.

Once again a failure to understand that God is all forgiving and he will forgive.

Sex before marriage is a personal choice and no amount of bible quoating and preaching of it being against God’s will is going to stop it.
My words could not have truer when I said
I believe your energies would be better spent looking at the world and thinking what can I do to help rather than who can I blame and condemn!

Yet although quoted they seem to have not been listened to as a sermon still followed!

Enjoy life, be strong and be safe!

Interesting.

Casual sex and sex before marriage can be deemed as putting yourself at more risk than not having sex, but crossing a road can be just as dangerous! If you use protection then although not 100% safe you are ‘safer’ than not
With regards the emotional side of things, it really does depend on who you ask, some males or females for that matter are happy to just have sex with someone, no strings attached, the need for that closeness is critical to their well being and they enjoy it so why not?! Others feel sex should only occur in a loving relationship and can only enjoy it if this is the case.

Each to their own we are not judge!! :)

@sukura

I want to point something out, which is extremely important about the issue of premarital sex. The thing people need to understand having premarital sex always comes back to haunt people once they become parent. Parents who have been sexually active are less likely to educate their teens about the consequences of premarital sex. The reason is they do not want to be seen as hypocrite. Educating your children about that issue is something when you are doing it you have to come clear. Your record is going to be questioned by your children. The more sex you had outside of marriage and the more promiscuous you were the more you are hurting your testimony. Let’s say your teen ask you have you had sex before marriage? How many people have you had sex before marriage? How would you reply to those questions?

The idea of teaching teens about the potential danger of premarital sex is something that should be done at home. Many parents today heavily rely on school to do that, but the reality is children are more likely to obey their parents than anyone else. If you as parent you are not taking your responsibility, your past sexual activities cause you to feel embarrassed, who is going to do that for you? The society we are living today is a major problem.

Teen can make better choices when it comes down to hat issue, if they are not fully equipped. If you are a parent, you do not instruct your children they do not have a chance in the kind of society we are living today because the pressure is there. Many sexually active adults disapprove teen sexual activities, but the truth is adult premarital sex is the problem. If adults are doing it why should the teenagers not doing, if that is their example.

Think about that by the time you children turn 15, 16 years old things are going to be much worse. Sexually transmitted diseases are going to be more prevalent. At the same time there are sexually transmitted diseases out there condom cannot even protect you against contracting them. So if that was what you have been doing how you will be able to fully equip them in that kind of highly sexualize environment. There may be many parents who are saying this little thing; I wish I had waited for the sake of my children.

Many of you might disagree with what I say, or you might just ignore the truth and cave on something else, but listen one day you will have to face with the truth. I bet you will be surprised.

@arold10

Parents who have been sexually active are less likely to educate their teens about the consequences of premarital sex.

False. People who have been sexually active are more likely to know the dangers and consequences of sex than people who have little to no personal experience.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of parents who would rather that their children have safe sex, and are likely to be open and honest about their experiences, than to tell them simply to not have premarital sex. Not everyone sees premarital sex as the end of the world. In fact, a great many people don’t see it that way. Your ideas about premarital sex and the people who have it are, frankly, very much out of touch with what goes on with a great many real people. There are many people who aren’t going to “testify” to their kids that sex before marriage is a horrible, horrible thing because they simply do not believe as you do. And that’s perfectly ok.

Schools do not “teach the danger of premarital sex.” That is not their function.

I’m not sure what parents you’re talking about who are to embarrassed by their past to talk to their children about sex, but again, there are not a great many people that feel this way as you seem to imagine there are.

Premarital sex isn’t the problem. Hormones are.

Honesty is the best policy. And many, many people are honest when teaching their children about sex. Which includes letting them learn from their mistakes and allowing them to make their own. Teens can make better choices… if they’re informed on how to make them. Simply saying “Sex is bad, don’t do it or else” is not going to persuade any teen to not have sex. Sex education, including what to do if you are having sex, is necessary for teens to make choices based on knowledge instead of superstition and the kind of misinformation that runs rampant in schools (i.e. that urinating after intercourse means that you will not become pregnant).

I don’t recall where I found the statistic, but you would be astounded at the rates of teen pregnancy and STDs in populations where “abstinence only” sex education is provided. Teens aren’t going to stop having sex just because you preach at them, and if they don’t know how to protect themselves, worse things can happen than merely having premarital sex. Bristol Palin, with her young child, is an example of how well abstinence only education works. By discouraging premarital sex without acknowledging that it happens and preparing teens to do whatever they choose to do safely, people are doing them a great disservice.

Education about sex is the only thing that equips teens. A moral message may be included, but when education which is correct and fully informs teens of consequences (debunking myths about pregnancy and becoming pregnant, what STDs can do to a person, etc.) is excluded, teens are not equipped at all to deal with anything having to do with sex.

No one is saying “I wish I had waited for the sake of my children.” except those people who become pregnant before they were ready to do so.

@arold10, no one is “ignoring the truth,” we simply have a version of it that is less tainted by religious teachings as to become so out of touch with the world we live in. We face the truth every day.

When I have children, I will tell them the truth about sex from an early age. They will grow up better informed than their peers and will be able to share accurate information in the face of myths. If they ask me about my past, I will be honest. I will tell them that I prefer that they wait to have relations until they are adults, not until they are married, but if they do have relations that they need to be safe in every way possible and ready to accept the possible consequences of having sex. They will have seen pictures of the worst that STDs can do and will be familiar with the struggles of people who had children they didn’t plan on and will have the message brought home to them that there are potential consequences and everyone thinks things can’t happen to them until they do. If they choose to have sex after that, they will be able to come to me to find ways to do what they’re doing more safely. Being open and honest about sex and not treating it like its something to be ashamed of will serve me, as many before me, well.

I think pre-marital sex is just super. In fact… since it’s raining cats and dogs here in socal right now… rather than going out (since I can’t go to work due to flooding and such)... I think I’ll just stay in bed with my fianceé and do what comes naturally.

Make love, not war people!

@avvooooooo
I disagree with that, people who have been sexually active are more like to educate their children about the consequences of premarital sex than those who have not been. People who choose to abstain from premarital sex do that after considering the potential consequences of it, which is why they choose to abstain in the first place. In addition, they will not be embarrassed to go toe to toe with their children about it.

Base on how successful their marriage is, the kind of trust they have in their marriage, and the kind of security they have in their marriage they are going to make sure their children do the same things. They did not have to wade through years of baggage many have from broken promises, feeling used and used or sexually transmitted diseases, that’s exactly what is going to help them make their case about why their children should abstain from sexual activities outside of marriage.

Premarital sex is not the problem. Hormones are. That is what you say, the key reason people are having sex outside of marriage clearly indicates that premarital sex is not an act of love. Here is why people have sex outside of marriage most of them feel today people get married in their 25, 27, 30 it is unreasonable for someone to wait that long. The primary reason people have sex outside of marriage is that they cannot wait; people have sex outside of marriage for self-gratification. Somehow, they have to give themselves away for somebody else as used. For somebody to use them or for them to use somebody else to gratify or satisfy something within them that will never be gratified.

Premarital sex is based on selfishness and not in love. I want you to understand that any act of premarital sex is an act of selfishness. I don’t care how that person feels about you or how your emotions have gotten entangled in that situation. Whenever any type of sexual activities happens outside of marriage without there being any discipline and consideration to understand the importance of being married before having sex, it is going to be an act of selfishness because premarital sex is based on selfishness not in Love.

Premarital sex is not an action of love. What that should say to you, is any individual is pushing you to have sex before marriage. They are also pushing to fulfill their selfishness and to be gratified in their selfishness. Lust is based on selfishness I don’t care how you feel about it; I don’t care how your emotion is that’s what it is.

Here is the difference between love and lust
Love is all about the other person; lust is all about me.
Love is something someone wants to do for you; lust is something someone wants to do to you.
Love always wants to give; lust always wants to take.
Love is patient and can wait to have sex in marriage; lust can never wait.
If I love you, I want what best for you. If I am lusting after you, I want what is good for me.
Love hopes all things, endures all things; Lust cares about itself. It will hurt, deceive, destroy, lie and anything else it has to do to sustain itself.

Look If I truly love a girl, if she says that she is waiting until marriage I would respect the fact that she wants to wait until she is married. I would not try to get her into bed before she marries me because I believe she is special and different because she is standing by her conviction. If I was lusting after her there is no way that relationship can survive, either I leave her, or I go and get it somewhere else. Lust is what I want; meet my need at your expense. If you say no I am going to get it somewhere else, I am reiterating that again premarital sex is not an act of love. And studies have shown that sex does help in relationships only to give both partners a false sense of being in love.

The major difference between lust and love is that love is a selfless concern for another person, where lust is totally self-focused. Lust believes the lie Satan has crafted. The lie suggests, “If you do this thing, you will be satisfied deeply.” The truth is that doing so will only lead to dissatisfaction and desire for more. Lust keeps growing and choking the person who feeds it.
Remember: LUST does not satisfy; it only creates more desire that yields less pleasure in the end.

@arold10 I will read your answers over the weekend as I am rather busy at the moment, working, living and being a mum!!

@arold10 First off, before anything else, did or did you not say I am gone! and I am gone!? What happened to that?

@arold10 I’m not even going to respond to that in great detail. Just know that no matter how many long-winded posts you provide, you are no closer to proving anything because you are trying to prove an unprovable point.

A great many people are not embarrassed about sex when it comes to talking to their kids about it or anything else. Its not a horrible, shameful thing. People who have had plenty of premarital sex go on to have healthy relationships and marriages. There are plenty of people who haven’t had premarital sex who are divorced or in abusive relationships. Premarital sex is not an indicator of anything at all in marital relationships.

Sex outside of marriage can be very much an act of love. People don’t have to be “pushed” into having relations, many people make the decision to have them. Based on many things, including logic and lack of superstitious nonsense. Not everyone who participates feels “used.” Not everyone who participates ends up with an STD. Not everyone in a great many of the sweeping statements you make about “people who have premarital sex” actually fit into your ideas of what they should be even a little. No one is shoving people into bed and telling them that they have to have premarital sex or else. Premarital sex is not an act of of selfishness.

You just illustrated to me that you know very little of what love actually is and that you’re not in touch with lust either.

Being married before sex is not important at all for a great many people. Not even a little bit. And for you to try and impose your morals on everyone else is very, very rude.

@arold10, how old are you, and what is your education level? Did you ever take sexual education? Did you have study sexual education after 5th grade?
OH! I almost forgot to tell you, I talked to God, and God says to keep waisting your life, but to stop preaching bullshit.
Where do you get off judging us? YOU are the sinner!

@avvooooooo and @Violet
I stand firmly on that premarital sex is not an act of love and it is an act of selfishness. Whether you like it or not that’s what it is.

First many people may have been in love when they first started dating. There may have been intimacy prior to their sexual activities because Intimacy has nothing to do necessarily with flesh and blood. Intimacy is not a word people think about today except they want to put that into that context of sex.

Intimacy has to do with closeness, intimacy has to do with getting to know each other on a deeper level often time that begins in some people’s lives, they begin to slip over into the sexual experience, and so what happens intimacy is gone. The truth of the matter is it is a matter of yielding to lust. As I said Love can wait to have sex in marriage; lust can never wait. Lust is a strong desire to fulfill sexual appetite.

People may try to say whatever they want to say about that issue, but the primary reason people are having before marriage is for self-gratification. There is something within them that they to satisfy or gratify that is why it is impossible for them to wait. Lust itself is selfish; here is why premarital sex is an act of selfishness not an act of love. The thing you need to know there are ton of guys who break up with girls because the girl refuses to have with them outside of marriage. Is that an act of love?

Let’s put that way, let’s say a Godly man date a woman out there. The woman is going to do what comes naturally, which is let us go to bed. But the man might say well wait a minute I can’t go and dishonor God with my body. That relationship is over, people can try to use premarital sex to express their love toward each other, but the truth of the matter is it is not an act of love. If one of them says no to the other person, there a high possibility that relationship is not going to last. Walking away from someone because he/she does not want to have sex with you before marriage clearly indicates premarital sex itself is an act of selfishness.

There are three dangers of the attempts to use sex to satisfy and fulfill these “love” needs:
First, the need to engage in sexual activity is only temporarily satisfied, and soon there is the desire to indulge again. This is where the behavior can become addictive, at least cognitively and through perceptions.

Second, the real non-sexual needs (love and security) are only temporarily satisfied and that is only during the sexual act. This is where the relationship outside of those intimate sexual moments can seem so empty. In the overall scheme, sex may lead to jealousy and higher insecurity, thus hindering and reversing the original need.

Third, “the two needs become paired or fused through conditioning. The force of the sex ‘drive’ will seem considerably stronger because more and different situations can lead to sexual arousal.” Unfortunately, many times in these relationships, one partner will use “sexual control” and manipulation because of the addictive nature, powerlessness and confusion that engulfs the other partner.

Remember the person you are having sex with that person is potentially someone else’s spouse if you break up (which a majority of relationships do). Also premarital sex is the cause of many divorces, pain and suffering for adults and their children because in today’s world, more than ever, men and women are falling in lust than falling in love. Therefore, lust blinds their judgment on evaluating the other person and whether they are the right person.

My challenge for you is just do not have premarital sex. If he/she leaves you for it that would clearly indicate that was lust and you would save yourself a divorce. If someone really loves you, he/she would respect you for your decision. Why does not he say? I love you so much because you are matter so much I would never ask you to put your life on the line, your ability to have children your future, and your self-respect on the line in order for me to meet my momentary need. A man should pick a woman not on the base of lust after some sexual experience, but on the basis of the fact of honoring that woman.

@arold10
“I stand firmly on that premarital sex is not an act of love and it is an act of selfishness. Whether you like it or not that’s what it is.”

The only thing is that, well, it isn’t. You’re basing your entire argument on a premise that is untrue. Not only this one in particular, but several others. No matter how much you type, if you start out from “wrong” you’ve only got two directions to try for… “better/less wrong” or “worse/more wrong.” You’re going in the second direction.

You have no business in my personal life of anyone else’s.

Premarital sex is not the cause of divorces, as you have been told repeatedly. There are many things, including not being compatible, that go into people entering into that process. One of the risk factors for divorce is entering into a marriage where you don’t know enough about your partner and find out later that they’re not for you. This means knowing them in many different ways. Up to and many times including sexually.

Men don’t just pick women, women pick men as well. What kind of ridiculious, outdated notion do you have about how marriages happen?

“If he/she leaves you for it that would clearly indicate that was lust and you would save yourself a divorce.” What makes you think that anyone is leaving anyone over having had sex in the past? Sure, it might happen every once in a while, but many people are honest about their past and therefore have nothing at all to worry about.

“Walking away from someone because he/she does not want to have sex with you before marriage clearly indicates premarital sex itself is an act of selfishness.”
So 1+1=36?

I can’t even continue to counter your convoluted thinking, and I doubt you’ll ever learn anything since you’re so set on being wrong, so I’ll just finish with this hard-and-fast truth. Premarital sex does not cause divorces. Look it up. There’s a ton of research on divorce, reputable research, that can tell you better than some ridiculious religious pamphlet what causes divorce.

@arold10 Again, what happened to “I am gone!”

Are you aware that lying is a sin?

@avvooooooo
You can acknowledge that is a sin, but you fail to understand that premarital is a sin.

So far, all you have been doing so far is avoiding my point, which is exactly what premarital sex is an act of selfishness and lust not an act of love. As I said love is patient, love can wait to have sex in marriage, but lust cannot that is my point.
Study does show that premarital cause divorce just check out this link: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0000055.cfm

Here is what i found.
Couples who engage in sex before marriage are far more likely to divorce. According to a study by the National Survey of Family Growth, women who have the kind of sexual experience Hax advocates — the premarital kind — increase their odds of divorce by about 60 percent. It is, McManus notes, “secular evidence for St. Paul’s injunction, “flee fornication.”

The more promiscuous you are before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery AFTER marriage. (The sexually self-indulgent have had no practice in self-restraint.) In fact academic studies show that the more premarital partners you have the lower your chances of marital satisfaction. A study of 100,000 women that linked “early sexual experience with dissatisfaction in their present marriages, unhappiness with the level of sexual intimacy and the prevalence of low self-esteem.”

Couples who live together before marriage are unlikely to marry. A Columbia University study found that “only 26 percent of women surveyed and a scant 19 percent of men” married the person they were living with. Another study showed that even if they do marry, couples who begin their marriages through cohabitation are almost twice as likely to divorce within 10 years compared to all first marriages: 57 percent to 80 percent.

People who have premarital sex run the chance of marrying someone who is not right for them. Why? Because sexual intimacy can be emotionally blinding: it makes couples feel closer than they really are. “Real love,” McManus says, “can stand the test of time without physical intimacy. The sexually active lose objectivity.”
Couples who sleep together outside of marriage “often suffer guilt and fear due to the dangers of STDs or unwanted pregnancy. Guilt can lead to frigidity and impotence.”

After all the evidence you mean to tell me premarital does not cause divorce. People who are cohabiting before marriage it is even much worse. I would say the divorce rate comes more from those that start having sex young and by the time they are married, they have given a special part of themselves with so many people there is little left to give.

Those are the rotten fruit of premarital sex, it is not my research. As I said the person you are having sex with that person is potentially someone else’s spouse if you break up (which a majority of relationships do).

@arold10 You lied to us, you said that you were gone. You committed a sin! You’re no better than the people having premarital sex.

@Narl
Hey I never said that i was better than someone else, i am clear in front of God. Now you finally admit that premarital sex is a sin. I know why you all have been pushing me to leave the website because we just don’t want to hear the truth. Look i am telling you this it is foolish to disobey God.

But you’re disobeying God, too. Therefore, you have no validity.

@Narl
No, you all have been pushing me to leave, what interesting is people do have a problem when you say something is wrong base on Biblical principles.

@arold10 I don’t want you to leave anymore. I find you quite interesting. But please clear something up for me. You said:
“First of all Catholic only believe that sex is only for procreation, but we as Christian we don’t believe it that way. God created sex for procreation and intimacy, but it should be used only in the context of marriage.”

So, why is anal sex a sin if it’s done between two married people? If used for intimacy in the context of marriage, and it feels good, then shouldn’t God approve?

@Narl
Anal sex is a type of perversion. That’s not what God intended for sex, don’t you realize how disgusting it is for people to engage in this kind of activities. Anal sex does not come from to God, people who are promoting anal sex are porn stars

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 john 2:15–16)

Basing anything on a literal interpretation of the Bible is nothing more than a show of ignorance veiled in verbosity. The basis of the Christian faith is to be accepting of others in all their forms and in spite of their flaws. Condeming any practice or faith because it differs from your own is a form of persecution and goes against true christianity. Secondly, the Bible (or in this case the new testament) as a document was redacted from a myriad of sources from a wide range of locations several years after the death of Christ… this is not a real-time acount of events but what has been remembered or passed down by word of mouth. Hardly a recipe for historical accuracy. Several gospels, letters and books were excluded from the final version because they gave alternative views and could have distracted form the intended message. These are parables written over 2000 years ago for a population with little or no education. These people were being told stories in such a way that it would be easy for them to understand. Not taking into accound the socio-economic climate of the time and location of where this book originated is not only a form of neglect.. it’s deliberately teaking things out of context to support your own views. Many of the teachings of the Bible can be applied to everyday life.. as ong as you take into account the evolutionary nature of culture and man as a whole and adapt them to our time.

Shrouding your answers in “the Bible says so” is akin to “I’m pretty! My mommy told me so!”... it’s all a matter of perspective and how open or closed minded you choose to be.

End rant

@Dr_C
Well what I am going to say unbeliever always have a problem with the teaching of the Bible, which is God word. They always say well the Bible has flaw in it, so you can just choose to do whatever you want to do. They CANNOT understand the Bible because it can only be understood by being taught by the Holy Spirit when He indwells in a person. Then, as Jesus says in John 16, “He will teach you all things”. Believers are taught by God the Holy Spirit living in them. We are taught by the Bible. Nonbelievers can read the Bible but they will always misunderstand its meaning because the Bible is a spiritual book, and people who are dead spiritually cannot understand spiritual things. Again, that is Jesus and Paul talking, not me.

You can whatever you want to say, you can try to interpret the word of God to support something that is ungodly, but that does not change the fact that it is still a sin in front of God. Norm and values might change, but the word of God remains unchanged. As I said you can keep reading the Bible repeatedly, but without the help of the Holy Spirit, you will always misunderstand it. Those who are led by the Holy Spirit I don’t hear them complaining about it because they are taught by Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God himself.

@arold10: What about believers who think your thinking is bass ackwards and you’re completely wrong?

Also, since the link you gave for your statistics is a pathetically biased source, I’ll counter your statistics with my own personal observations. From my circle of high school friends, so far eight of them have married. SEVEN are happy, or at least fairly so. ONE is in the process of a divorce. Guess which one? The religious one. The only one who waited until marriage to have sex. Do you know why they are getting a divorce? Because the couple is completely incompatible in ways that they only could have known had they cohabitated and slept together before marriage.

@arold10

“So far, all you have been doing so far is avoiding my point, which is exactly what premarital sex is an act of selfishness and lust not an act of love.”

I have acknowledge your “point” and told you that it is based on a false premise. All your arguments are based on premises that have little or nothing to do with reality.

Your “evidence” that premarital sex causes divorce is a religious propaganda site. Not research from a peer-reviewed journal. Therefore, not “proof” at all.

You cannot provide actual research backing up your points because they are incorrect and not in touch with reality. Find something in a legitimate, peer-reviewed journal, where someone has done actual research with statistics and charts and graphs. If you can find something that confirms you ideas, bring it here to back up your points. But until then, you have no “proof.”

Honestly, if you believe that a blog that has no research at all behind it is “proof” I can begin to see how you’re buying into your own crap..

@arold10 non-believers can’t understand. WOW. So being a Catholic makes me a non-believer. You really do live in your own little world. For future reference… defending your argument with “you just don’t understand” makes you look less like you actually know what you’re talking about and more like a petulent child asking “why do you refuse to see thing my way?”

@MacBean GA. Excellent, really.

let he who is without sin cast the first stone!

Didn’t Jesus forgive a prostitute somewhere in the bible?
And yes I know for something is forgiven it has to be wrong in the first place, but surely – as stated previously…forgiveness is the key to being a “good Christian” sitting in judgement of others is not??

@MacBean
Well I think you need to make more research study has shown that people who have been cohabiting are far more likely to divorce. Study showed couples who begin their marriages through cohabitation are almost twice as likely to divorce within 10 years compared to all first marriages: 57 percent to 80 percent.” Cohabitation is just a disaster for marriage. The kind of compatibility you are talking about just does not make sense.

http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=4006
http://www.divorcetalk.co.uk/divorce-linked-with-premarital-cohabitation-58.html
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-debate-this-should-you-live-together-before-marriage/
http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/divorce-statistics.html

@avvooooooo
Study does show that Study showed couples who begin their marriages through cohabitation are almost twice as likely to divorce within 10 years compared to all first marriages: 57 percent to 80 percent.” Compatibility is one of the key reason people choose to cohabit, so far i don’t see the result. check out some of the research above.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/13/AR2009081304118.html

@arold10 really? that’s what you’re using as back-up for your comment? Articles from e-magazines than neither condone nor condemn premarital cohabitation? did you actually read any of the stuff you posted? They are debating both sides and find positive and negative aspects to both. You really need to work on finding supportive evidence. So far you fail.

P.S. that last “study” you linked to from the Washington post is an article about a study that DOES NOT SUPPORT the statements that you made and estimates ammounts of couples that CONSIDER divorce. It does not provide statistical information about divorce in comparative sample populations between cohabitation and non cohabitaion. Another Fail. Care to try again?

@Dr_C
First of all you don’t even read the comment the previous person had posted about cohabitation. Just check out all of those link above study does show that people who cohabit before marriage are far more likely to divorce. When it comes down to the Biblical perspective cohabitation is morally wrong.

@arold10 I read the comment above and the links you posted. Not one of them mentions a divorce rate. They mention the frequency with which couples considered separation or divorce. Considering doing something is not the same as actually doing it. And if your interpretation of the Bible is anything like your interpretation (and obvious lack of comprehension) of simple text from magazines and websites.. then you just hurt your credibility even more. Try reading all the words in the articles and not just the ones that support your views. Instead of taking the words out of context… use a dictionary fr the bigger words. You might learn something.

Not one of the articles you posted supports your views. Try again.

Second, don’t assume to tell me what I did or did not read. Unlike you I actually read EVERY WORD of what was sent and don’t take it out of context.

@Dr_C
You are just rushing to find something to say without even reading all of them. What about this two links.
http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/divorce-statistics.html
http://www.marriageromance.com/stories/10802697703.htm

ROFL.. are you seriously going to use Attorney advertising statistics as an argument? Man.. i was just starting to take this seriously. You know what? go ahead.. keep going! I’m not wasting anymore time with this. It’s just too easy. If you had made something resembling an intelligent or accurate argument.. or had gotten ANY information from a credible source then maybe I could continue to humor you.. but this has gotten to the point where to continue would be akin to taking candy from a baby. It would be unfair to engage in a battle of wits and reliable evidence against someone who is not only unarmed.. but has no idea what arena he/she’s in. I am not a bully… I will leave this in peace.

P.S. God wants you to stop using his name in order to spread your own particular brand of prejudice and hate. He told me so, we had dinner Wednesday

@Dr_C
Hey, whenever people could give themselves over to sexual sin, they do not feel that thing in their conscious, they can accept it as a way of life, and they have become deprave in their thinking. Therefore, they defend it no matter what because that is what they choose. So, what happens is when you say that’s wrong base on Biblical principle they get angry, or they try to discredit you.

No longer following. Won’t even read your response. Quit while you’re ahead.

@arold10 you didn’t respond to a thing I said:
how old are you, and what is your education level? Did you ever take sexual education? Did you have study sexual education after 5th grade?

And what happened to leaving? That would have been lovely.

You need to stop telling us what is right and wrong, because you are acting like you are better than all of us, and pride is a sin according to your beliefs/

Why are you even here? Nobody likes you, and you are so annoying.

@Violet
You can acknowledge that pride is a sin, but you can’t acknowledge that premarital is a sin as well. I didn’t expect anyone to love me most of them ask me to leave.

Love?! I said like!
And I said “according to your beliefs”. There is no such thing as sin, according to MY beliefs.

and once again, how old are you, and what is your education level? Did you ever take sexual education? Did you have study sexual education after 5th grade?

You may believe that there is not such thing as sin, but that does not change the fact that there are consequences.

how old are you,
and what is your education level?
Did you ever take sexual education?
Did you have study sexual education after 5th grade?

@violet
What’s wrong with you, I am in college and i am majoring in computer engineering. No sexual education please.

@arold10 no sexual education? Than you have no business commenting on anything regarding sex.

and you said “You may believe that there is not such thing as sin, but that does not change the fact that there are consequences”
Consequences? Like what, jail?

@Violet
Someone does not need to have sexual education in order for him/her to comment on thing regarding to sex. Base on what is happening all around you.

The consequences of sin is Spiritual and Physical death.

@arold10 yes, they do. You are ignorant about sex.

there’s no such thing as sin. Why are you here?

@Violet
I can understand why people think the way they do, I can understand how they get there, but I just tell the truth about premarital sex the consequences of it are pretty obvious.

First of all i can’t force you to believe in something that you don’t believe. You are playing with sin at the same time sin is itself is not playing with you.

Do you know how annoying you are? You should go away, like you said you would before.

@Violet
Just make leave, why can’t you just acknowledge the truth?

@arold10 I can acknowledge that you are the last person to be talking about sex. You are way too ignorant, I’m leaving (like you should have done yesterday).
There is no such thing as sin, get a life. Stop being so annoying. I feel sorry for you parents and teachers.
BYE!

@Violet
Bye, well I was going to put an end to it because i am going to bed.

@Violet
You need to feel sorry for yourself.

@sukura
What you are not going to say Jesus did tell her go and sin no more. He did not approve the kind of lifestyle she has been living in, which is what you are doing. You cannot even express what you believe without being accused of judging people. Apostle Paul who has been preaching the Corinth about their sexually immoral lifestyle you mean to tell me He was judging people.

@Dr_C
As you said you are a believer, if you were a true believer, the Holy Spirit would have convicted you for your sin. If you do not feel any conviction then you are either not really saved or you are so hardened by the sin you have been committing.

Remember you cannot have a relationship with God at the same time living sexual sin. Many people finally realize that their past pre-marital activities as stumbling blocks for them and others. This act along with other sins that they worshipped with their time only brought them farther from what God had for them.

@MacBean and @avvooooooo
Numerous studies do show that couples who have been cohabiting have a higher divorce rate. http://www.marriageromance.com/stories/10802697703.htm

By the way, I am not going to keep wasting my precious time debating ignorant people. Remember sexual sin is the immediate offer without penalty, there can be a deceptive pleasure, but the after effect can be devastating. You will learn as you go.

I KNOW MANY OF YOU DON’T NEED ME HERE BYE TAKE CARE.

@everyone, I have mixed feelings about arold10 leaving. She was a source of entertainment for me and her ignorance made me giggle every time I read her posts. And yet at the same time, I’m happy as fuck that she’s gone. What an idiot.

@everyone, are you ignorant for having beliefs? Because if this is so then there is no one more ignorant than the one who belives they are right all the time. I am not sure that I quite understood the last message aimed at me from our ‘friend’ @arold10 it did not seem to make sense, s/he seems to think I am a prostitute because I had sex before marriage, I always thought you had to be paid to be classed as a prostitute, I never recieved payment when I had sex with anyone, I got the odd thanks that was great though!! I am now a hapilly married and monogonous wife.

As for accusing @arold10 for judging people… you are judging people as you apeear to believe they are not worthy of God’s love and forgiveness. You also seem to think that if they do not believe what you believe they are wrong.

The difference between you and I seems to be that I respect your opinions and believe that you have a right to live your life how you wish, quoting bible passages and believing we are all sinners if we do not follow a 2010 year old document to the letter and to your interpretation, just because I don’t do this doesn’t mean what you believe is wrong. However you seem to think that those who do not follow your interpretation to be in mortal peril and should be chastized into admitting that what they are doing is wrong.

We live in an ever changing world and you are not going to stop people enjoying making love (having sex) before marriage. If both my sisters did not have sex before marriage my beautiful neices and nephews would not be here for me to love, and my own precious daughter would not exist, how can such an act that creates a precious life be deemed wrong just because it happened before you said vows in front of a priest/vicar/ registrar etc? Will that child be loved any less because of it… no will that child not experience love from other family members because of it… no!

“By the way, I am not going to keep wasting my precious time debating ignorant people.”

But I thought everyone has an inner dialogue…

Note to self: Don’t fuck with @MacBean.