How should I avoid a harmful relationship?

A suggestion: Write out a list of the qualities in your dream partner. Not appearance- just personality. Think about it and be sure to write everything even if you think you are being picky.

Once you are done put it aside for an hour then read it again.

The dream partner exists. This person is out there. You will never find your soul mate if you keep wasting time with this other person.

By avoiding it, because it is harmful.

try to dodge the bullet!
no, really, it depends on your definition of harmful…
Harmful: (that persons threatens your physical integrity) Then yes!!!! Find someone new, examine other beauties!
Harmful: (that person smokes and you believe you are being exposed to second hand smoke that can lead to develop lung cancer) Then just try to convince that person to quit smoking, it might not work but at least you tried…
If you believe there is nothing good about that relationship, then leave it behind you and keep going with your life :D

Many people are suckers for punishment. When a person is rejected by another, the rejection often leads to the person feeling they are inferior or unworthy of that persons affections. This can lead to emotional imbalance where the person without understanding why, and can often desire the affections of the person even more. It can be difficult sometimes to behave rationally when one is under a “spell” of another. A person can say and do things they usually would not. My advice would be to stay away from this person as well as you can, and this will make you stronger in the future. It’s difficult to do but if getting hurt is inevitable, it’s best to start trying to get over the person sooner rather than later.

@Dog Yes the dream partner exists, the moon landing is a hoax, area 51 has real aliens and the feds did not know Madoff was doing bad things…
@jackm Find a good hearted person, if you keep looking for perfection, the “dream partner” good luck! You might never have the chance to enjoy any good thing that might come along, there is not such thing, perfection… is like that tale about the boogieman coming to get you for feeding the dog with your vegetables… A partner is not a custom made person that will fulfill al your needs…

I think you have taken an important first step, by recognizing that it´s a harmful relationship. You´ve made it semi-public, by posting it on fluther, so that´s an important step too.
I think you should follow your intuition and stop trying to convince yourself that the person will change or that you need that person. In reality you don´t need them and you´d be better off without that person. If in the future you will regret even having known them, you should definitely just cut them off and start filling your agenda with other people and activities.
Just remember, the longer you stay with this person, the harder it will be in the future for you to find a good person, because you’ll get used to negative qualities… So you have to commit yourself to finding someone that´s good for you…

@flameboi The list worked for me.

Watch the movie The Holiday

Try your damndest to stay away. You’ll start believing the s**t they say about you.

If this person is somehow berating, humiliating or even hitting you, you need to know that despite what this person says, it is not your fault and you do not deserve to be in an abusive relationship, verbal or physical.

Thanks for all the answers guys. Its not a physically harmful or abusive relationship. Its just taking its toll on me mentally, as I want to be with her, and I think she wants to be with me. The only problem is that she cheated on me, and I am sure she would do it again.

I think it just might be an addiction to the comforts of having a relationship, and not specifically her though. Thats what I tell myself at least.

I think it probably is an addiction to the comforts of having a relationship. Just remember exactly what you want in a relationship—loyalty, etc. and know that you can find someone who´s exciting who will also be loyal. It´ll be easier for you to leave the sooner you do.

If she cheated once it is likely she will do it again.