Why are terms like "Dear", "Hon", or "God Bless you" considered offensive?

I’ve never heard of those terms being offensive either. I certainly would not be offended at all if someone said those things to me. Sometimes I feel like being offended is a hobby of some people…

I don’t find them offensive, but..
Some people may find Dear or Hon as diminutive.
As far as “God Bless you”, obviously if you don’t believe in any gods, it seems a bit weird to care about being blessed by one.

I’ve never heard of God bless you being offensive, But “Dear” and “Hun” are usually said in a bitchy tone of voice. They aren’t said in a lovey dovey way.

I guess it can be received as condescendent, depending on the situation and who it’s coming from.

I usually hear it from older women who I’m helping out in some way. Although now I understand people using it in a bad tone. I was just curious because in almost every instance they apologize right away even if they were being nice.

I grew up in Texas, where the waitress in the cafe was more likely to call you “hon” than “sir”. I love it. Val123 called me “hon” on a thread the other day and it made we want a coffee refill.

@7Proxies ; I have never in my life heard either in that kind of manner.

I haven’t heard of Dear or hun or sweetie being offensive, but God bless you maybe because some people don’t believe in God and don’t want to be told they are blessed by God….

I am not offended by any of these.
My wife actually enjoys it when I call her Doll. I figured she wouldn’t.

@Harp We spent 22 years in Texas & I picked up the lingo quick. To me, everyone is honey, sweetie or baby. One of you here has talked to me & knows that. It just part of my speech pattern. And no one seems to mind it one bit.

I’m fine with elderly ladies and waitresses calling me Hon’ as long as I can tell they’re not being sarcastic. Not so keen on men calling me Sweetie and Hon, except the occasional innocent old geezer.

I remember seeing a news story about a subway token lady who was fired because she called the wrong person “hon”. In her case, the person felt sexually harassed. I find this sort of thing absolutely ridiculous. Obviously these people are using the terms endearingly. Maybe those offended should get the splintery sticks removed from their asses. They would never survive in Baltimore! Ever seen Hairspray?

“Bless your heart” can be used to ‘damn you with faint affection’. As in, “Oh, you’ve made a choice I disagree with? Well, bless your heart.”

I have to really listen to catch that one, as I’m not Southern. ‘Hon’ and ‘Sweetie’ and whatnot, I can tell the difference between someone using it because they use those terms, and when they’re being condescending or trying to hit on me in a creepy way.

I wouldn’t mind being called either hon or sweetie, or told God Bless You if I sneezed. Am I missing something here?

@NewZen What you’re “missing” is a lack of rationality. I’m an Atheist, I say Merry Christmas. I’m on the same boat as you.

@NewZen it’s YOU who I was talking about. I call everyone that & certainly hope no one takes offense. I sure never mean it in a bad way. No one has ever been offended by it.

“Dear” and “Hon” can be condescending. It can also be a tool for people who don’t easily remember other people’s names or don’t know them. Either way… Unless you’re in the deep South its not really widely acceptable. If you’re down here though, you learn to live with it.

“God Bless You” can be seen as inserting religion into everyday life. Which some people don’t appreciate.

My pizza guy always says, “Have a nice day, dear” when I’m leaving after I’ve had my slice. I love it!

My mom, however, always objected to being called “dear” or “hon” in business meetings by men because she felt she was being condescended to.

My computer repairman calls me ‘dear’. Bothers me not at all.

Dear/Hon/Sweetie/etc.—Unless said by someone much older than me – say, my gramma’s age or older – I find it disrespectful and condescending. I have a name. If you know it, use it. If you don’t know it, “Hey you” is fine, because I am likely not dear to you and I am certainly not your sweetie, thanks.

“God bless you”—He hasn’t and, frankly, He isn’t likely to just because you’ve asked. And how do you know I believe in Him or want your religion pressed on me, anyway?

Hun and sweetie said by a stranger just sounds less educated and outdated, and reminds of the days when women were not treated equally—think Mad Men. Having said that, some areas of the country just use it, and nothing bad is meant by it.

God bless you can be offensive to those who do not believe in God. Those of us who were raised atheists with the absence of this God talk feel very uncomfortable when people reference God. Expression like God Bless you, and I think even worse, I will pray for you, I could go on and on seem very strange to people not accustomed to church talk. Also, some atheists find the whole God/religious thing ridiculous so they just think people sound like idiots.

Little story: My sister-in-law said to me years ago, “I think it is so nice that the American president says “God Bless the United States of America,” at the end of his speeches. I am not fond of it, but don’t hate it. She went on to say in Mexico it would not be ok, that they have stricter rules of separation of church and state, due to the history of the Catholic church having so much power in that country. I found that surprising and interesting, since in my mind I viewed America as the country that values the separation strongly.

Dear/Hun/Etc to me isn’t disrespectful or anything. I call people those some times and no ones ever said anything to me about it.

@chelseababyy: Hm… I wouldn’t mind it coming from you, either, even though you’re younger than me. So I guess I should amend what I said: When strangers or people I don’t like call me those things and aren’t at least my gramma’s age, it bothers me.

@MacBean Good! That makes me feel better. I don’t mind it, unless I can hear that barely-there-yet-fucking-annoying-condescending-tone in someones voice while they say it.

My sister would say hun, sweetie, and dear are said by people from staten Island and NJ.

Dear and hon are condescending especially when a man says it to a woman

@JLeslie LOL I’m from Jersey. Makes sense now :D

@chelseababyy Funny. Did you see the thread asking if you get offended if people talk badly about the state you live in?

Most of the time, I don’t mind, but sometimes a man will say it with a sneer in the voice, and it makes me uncomfortable.

@JLeslie I did not. However I get really angry with that because a lot of people diss Jersey for stupid reasons. Every place has their slums and bad areas. It frustrates me when they also talk crap when they’ve never been there sigh I’d go nuts if I saw that thread.

@chelseababyy then I won’t post the link :) but it is not all bad about Jersey, I came to the defense of the Garden State a little on there, and people diss a bunch of places on that thread, mostly with humor, not hate.

@chelseababyy: I sort of stuck up for NJ, too! I said it’s NY’s to pick on, and we’ll beat up anyone else who picks on it. <3

@JLeslie I guess it’s just that I grew up there, lived there for 17 years give or take, it’s what I know and love. I know how gross and horrible it can be, but the good overruns the bad!

@MacBean This is why I love you, dear.

It used to be you could call any elderly woman Mother. That always seemed odd to me.

Geez…I can’t believe that so many people are offended by this. I NEVER say it to be condescending to anyone. Especially the way I say it. It’s a term of endearment.

@jbfletcherfan I agree with you, but I’ve actually heard “God Bless You” used as a substitute for “up yours”.

@YARNLADY I have a friend who says “Bless your heart” rather than the F Bomb.

@YARNLADY hmmm…I’ve never heard GBY used that way.

@jbfletcherfan It is usually accompanied by a raised middle finger, so there’s no mistaking the meaning. The most recent time I remember is when someone standing near me on the sidewalk was splashed by a passing car.

@YARNLADY Wow. That’s terrible. I have never run into people like that here, thankfully. Geez. :-(

I hate being called Babe. I’m not a pig. And baby.
Hate all of that crap.
Also, the bless you thing annoys me. I’m not dying. Don’t need to be blessed. (And who are you to bless someone, anyway?)

@pinkparaluies I’m ordained! I can bless people! I just… don’t. Unless they ask.

I’ll do the Hun or dear or luv thing. and developed the habit. God bless i used to take offense to for only the reason I didn’t want to be saved, better people before me. I realize their intentions and I’m ok. If it’s done forcefully, like take it or else. i’ll have been offended.

I don’t know, it doesn’t really bother me. There are some people that just call everyone “Hun” and “dear.” And I’m not a believer in the traditional sense, but if I get a simple “God Bless” or “God Bless You,” it doesn’t bother me at all. I go with the intention of the person saying it, which is almost always a good intention. If it’s just an exchange with a stranger it doesn’t bother me. If however, I end up in some ongoing relationship with someone who keeps calling me “Hun” and it feels condescending then I don’t like it. And if it’s the kind of interchange where I happen to say “I’m lucky…” And the other person says “You’re not lucky, your blessed.” Then that is entering dangerous territory that I don’t appreciate.

When one adult uses a term like Hon or Sweetie to another adult, it is often a passive-aggressive technique to make the other person feel somehow diminished. It is condescending, something akin to calling a black man “boy.”