What would you do when you realize that you're no longer physically attracted to your SO?

It would probably depend a great deal on other factors, such as length of the relationship; are they married; and are there children involved?

Some relationships are based a great deal on sex and when that’s gone there’s little else. Are they more like friends without sex or is there a distance between them now?

It might not be that he’s no longer attracted to her but that the proverbial spark has gone and they just need something to spice things up a bit?

I’d first write down a list of things I believe could be responsible then figure out if any them changed, do I think my feelings would shift. Whatever the case, he should choose really carefully what to say to his SO but he should say something if he wants to remain in the relationship. Pretending everything’s all right doesn’t work because you just panic inside waiting for yourself to ‘be right’ again and it’s not fair to the SO who probably hasn’t a clue and will start to feel neglected.

Has anything changed? Either one gained/lost weight? Changed jobs? One made new friends that are influencing behavior? One in school/the other not? How old are they, and how long have they been together?

Counseling, I’m afraid. When that happens, it means something is seriously wrong with the relationship, and they should try to fix it now, rather than let it go one for a decade, and then end up divorced, having been miserable for all that time. Oh man! I can’t even count the number of couples I know in this situation. They just endure it, and a lot seek outside relationships to give them what they aren’t getting at home.

That’s just the least effective way to gain happiness. Not that I didn’t make that mistake, too. But if I can save one person the pain I’ve experienced, well, I’ll be proud of that—and that’s saying a lot for me!

They probably don’t believe in counseling. No one does, at first. Many don’t, even after years. They’ll say it’s not that bad. Or that therapy doesn’t help. Or that they don’t really need it. It’s all bullshit, but it has to be gotten through. Therapists can help.

Sex is very important in a relationship, but its not the be all and end all, or it shouldn’t be. Hubby is everything I find attractive in a man, and even after all these years he just has to smile at me to make my heart race. I swear, its not right how much I love that man, or how much he affects me, but if for some reason we ever can’t, due to illness or accident or whatever god forbid, have sex ever again, well we’d cope. We have so much more together than just the physical side of our relationship and if we lost that, well, I’m sure we’d fill the void quite easily. Also, as we get older our physical needs change too. Just because you’re doing it twice a week or whatever instead of every day or not thinking about it every minute, it doesn’t mean the spark has gone out.

Many couples stop having sex when they get elderly (and many elderly couples don’t stop which is great too) but they stay together. Maybe it comes down to how strong your relationship is? Regarding your friend’s situation. Maybe this problem isn’t permanent? Maybe they just have to spend more time together, re-connect emotionally, see what they first saw in each other, what attracted them to each other. Maybe then the rest might sort itself? The fact that your friend is concerned about this, means the relationship is important enough to him to be worth saving, so it’s maybe worth a try.
hugs xx

I don’t think it would just happen to me, just poof and attraction is gone – and if there were signs of this creeping up, I’d deal with it way before

I don’t think you wake up one day and are not attracted to your mate. I think it’s a sign of a deeper problem, and probably has been going on for some time. Now the question is if the problem has gone unsaid for too long now. You can’t let things slide into your relationship and just ignore it until the problem is too big.

I did nothing and then continued on with the relationship for two more years, blaming it on intimacy issues and everything I could think of.

I ended that relationship in June and the weight I felt off my shoulders was indescribable. Tell your friend to break it off now before what happens to me happens to them. Two years with someone you don’t want anymore sucks.

pay for their plastic surgery…lol i jest dunno spose it depends how important sex is in teh relationship though personally i think attraction is more than the physical perhaps its the beginning of dislike

It depends entirely on other factors. If the relationship is a true partnership, and worth saving, counseling would be the best solution.

If this is just a casual relationship, and physical attraction was the only thing holding it together, then he needs to walk away.

There are many reasons for diminished libido on the part of one partner in a relationship. If he cares about his SO, he should seek assistance and fix the problem. These sort of difficulties tend to be eminently treatable when there are cooperative partners and any reasonably good, reasonably experienced sex therapist.