What stories do your parents love to tell about you that you hate?

The stories that my mother twists my words or actions around in to make people laugh more.

There isn’t one that comes to mind but my mom always tells family stories WRONG. Kills me.

@rangerr Yeah exactly, same!

When I was little (read: 2 to 4) my parents dressed me in little ruffled dresses that went down to my butt. She calls them butt-ruffles. She likes to tell people about how cute I was in butt-ruffles.

Lol! I just told on myself about how my mother loves to tell the story of when I was little and found out it wasn’t possible for me to pee in the yard like the boys… And I peed in my shoes.

@holden Still uncertain about your gender and that image doesn’t help. :-)

My mother had a million ways to embarass me. One story was about how she thought I was “slow” as a baby until I turned over once. Another was about how I never crawled but bounced around on my tushie. Another was about how each of her children had a car accident within the first month of getting their licenses.

When I was little, I would shake the poop out of my diapers right away. Couldn’t stand having poop in my pants. My parents and older siblings would find the occasional gift I’d left for them.

The story my mom likes is actually one that I told her about, and regretted it soon after. She never tells it, but refers to it in my presence, and proceeds to crack up like a crazy woman.

Basically, this is how it went: When I was little.. maybe 5… my grandfather took me and my cousins to this place by where I used to live called Fairy Tale Forest. It was this fairy tale themed park in the woods that was all handbuilt by one guy, and at Christmas, it was a freaking sight to see. The electric bill was something like 10k a month with all the lights. Anywho, this was around Christmas, and my cousins were sleeping over, so my grandfather took us to Fairy Tale Forest. I was wearing my snowpants. This is key.

I had to go. But we were totally across the park from the bathrooms, and I was having such a good time, that I thought it would be fine to pee in my snowpants since it had that “waterproof” material on the outside. When we got back home quite some time later, I changed and washed myself, put my snowpants in the washing machine, and happily went about my night.

When I randomly remembered this story to my mother, after having told her I walked around in my peed-in snowpants for at least an hour and a half or two, I wonder now if I used to be the “smelly kid.” Now all you have to do is say “smelly kid” in front of my mother and she howls.

I can’t remember ever hearing Mom or Dad tell a funny story on any of us… :(

But me and my kids? I’m merciless! Especially when it comes to my son because nothing phases him! It was Thanksgiving, 07. We always tell the old stories around the table, so I was surprised that when I mentioned Chris and the balloon no one knew what I was talking about. I was like, “You haven’t heard about Chris and the balloon??”
Nope. Blank faces.
OK, so here we are at the table, just eating along and I said, “Well, when Chris was about three (and a little penis and peeing obsessed, because he’s just learned from his dad he could pee standing up—he wanted to pee EVERYWHERE!) Any way, when Chris was three he got ahold of one of those long shaped balloons. It was probably 2½ feel long. It was longer than he was tall! He holds it up to his man bits area and says, “Look! This ith big-ger than my penith!” Like he couldn’t believe anything could be bigger than his penith!
This was the result

People were spittin’ food every where!

When i was little about 4 or so i was outside playing and had to go number 2 BADLY. The toilet was along way away so i kind of did it in the garage near my dads car. It gets worse. I then, knowing i was about to get in trouble, tried to feed it to the dog.

Haven’t lived it down since.

@Nimis When my grandson was two, we were at the library, and he was to busy to be bothered to go to the bathroom. He’s up on a raised Dias thing where some special kids books were when I saw….littly turdy balls bumping down the stairs! Well, he got Perkinized when we got home, but “The time Ryan pooped in the Library” is one of our all time classics! Had to quit telling the story on him though, ‘cause now he’s 14 and all…..

This isn’t really a story but still relates I think. My brother lived in Tucson, AZ at one point. Last April my dad and I went to visit him and I accidentally mentioned that I was in the market for a cowboy hat while I was there since they’re more plentiful in that area of the states than they are around here. Well, for SOME UNKNOWN REASON everyone we met while we were there, my father mentioned that I was looking for a cowboy hat. So freaking weird and it got annoying but now I think it’s pretty funny. The people that he told were probably like “OH??” hahahahahahah

@FishGutsDale Here I am, all alone, in a quiet house, BUSTIN OUT LAUGHING!!! (Did the dog eat it??)

@Val123 Alas, he did not. My reasoning being that they eat their own and other dogs poop, why not make an exception and help me out. You can lead a dog to poop but you can’t make him eat.

@FishGutsDale YOU DID IT AGAIN!!!! If anyone walks into the house they’ll think I’m insane! Hearing voices or something! (Hmmmm, do people with schizophrenia ever hear voices that make them LAUGH??? Hmmmmm.)

@FishGutsDale that. is hilarious.

My mother and my sisters are always telling stories; they enjoy laughing at me. It’s mostly things from my childhood, like how at 3 years old I would wear these boots and literally stomp on people. Or how I sucked my thumb until I was like 13. Or how I had a float (Sir Allie – it was an alligator…one of those that went around your waist) for over 10 years and was upset when, at 18, my mother got rid of it. It still worked!

there’s so many

@poofandmook Is Fairy Tale Land in Oregon?

@Val123 Glad i could make you a little crazy. I guess i know now why my mum insists on telling potential girlfriends how little dale crapped in the garage. @deni Thanks hahah

@Supacase: No, Fairy Tale Forest was in NJ. The remnants of it are there but it’s not open anymore, and a good deal of it has been torn down to make self-storage units :*(

I’d tell one, but then my sneaky parents would know it’s me here and I’d get in trouble.

@Val123 Is that your son in the pictures? He’s cuuute.

@rangerr Yep. He always laughs harder than any one when people tell stories about him! Yes, he is handsome. Tall and slender. And single!

@Val123 I get really red, then have to hide my face because I’m laughing so hard. I hate stories about me doing silly things, but goodness, was I a cute kid. Also: Me too! Me too!

Ok. I’ll tell the one I told @poofandmook. But I hope @Val123 tells one on herself!

My mother loves the story of when she realized she could stop sterilizing everything.

I was very little (crawling) and my dad came home from the pig barn and tracked… stuff in with his shoes. Before she got to it to wipe it up, I’d taken care of it… with my tongue. That was the day she decided that sterilization was stupid. :D

@apoooooooooooooo ROFL!!

I really don’t remember my folks telling any stories about me! I’m thinking though….

@avvooooooo Hahahaha.
When I was about 7, we played baseball using cow pies as bases. My aunt said we walked up to the front porch covered in cow poop because we slid into home.
Needless to say, she hosed us off with the hose and made us take a shower outside, then we had to go inside and take another one.

Edit: ”@apoooooooooo” hahahahahaha.

@rangerr Too funny! Yep, I think sanitation is over rated!!

@avvooooooo My eyes bugged out when I read that

Hey, if we all ate more dirt as kids we’d be sick less!

You can’t imagine how many times she’s repeated this story.

@avvooooooo My step brother would sit in the backyard and play with m&ms in the dirt, then eat them. He’d say “God made dirt, dirt don’t hurt” before each one. He was about 5.

Ha! When my sisters were about 8 and 9, our little neighbor boy, Timmy, was about 3. They got some fudge, molded it into the shape of dog poop, put it in the grass and got Timmy to eat it! Well, Timmy Told. His anal mom was SO MAD even after she’d heard the real deal, but once she left, our house about fell down from the laughter! But…they were admonished not to do that again!

My parents and my friends’ parents looove to talk about how we were all conceived. One friend comes from a strong Catholic family, and her mom says they created her in a monastery and her sister on a train. Another friend was conceived when her dad sucked her mom’s toes and they listened to slow jams. My parents have strongly implied that they did a lot of partying in the 80s and that their wedding is way less than 9 months before my birthday. Uhh… thanks? So I’m a crack baby or something?

I’m pretty tired of how they, to this day, bring up that I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

I’m trying to put that chapter of my life behind me.

I remember my mom telling this story repeatedly:
I was about three and we were at the checkout line at the grocery store.
My dad had just taught me that the way to tell a democrat from a republican is that democrats have big butts.
So this rather large lady comes behind us and I proceed to announce to my mom and the entire store that this lady is a democrat and has a big butt.

The lady told my mom not to apologize, and that if a 3 year old can tell her she’s fat, she needs to go on a diet.

@Blondesjon Lurve!

@rangerr Oh how funny, and what a wonderful lady!

My mom always tells the story about my little stuffed puppy dog that I would literally take everywhere with me. And I would freak if my mom tried to wash it. I would say “Mom, he can’t breathe if you put him in water! He’ll die!” So she would sneak it away while I was asleep so I wouldn’t be upset. And yes, I still have that same puppy stashed away in storage :)

@ItalianPrincess1217 I still have the teddy bear I got for my second Christmas….that guy is an antique now! One eye has been replaced with a black, sculpted button, some of his stuffing has been replaced by (clean but not needed) underwear from the 70’s….the bear’s name is Sharon….

@Val123 Glad I’m not the only one! I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it!

…I still sleep with my bear.

No! Don’t get rid of it! Take care of it!! (Great grandkids will make a fortune off of e’bay!)
@rangerr You go girl!

I had a raccoon. :)

@racoooooooooooooon was it a real racoon?

@Val123 You made me wake up my parents because I keep laughing at your @‘s to her. hahaha

@Val123 Noooooo… It was a stuffed animal. Stuffed as in never been alive, not as in taxidermy!

@avvooooooo Just checkin’! So, do you still have it?
@rangerr Tell your folks I’m sorry and I’ll keep it down!!

@Val123 Get your butt over to my thread. We were talkin about ya and you didn’t even know!! Nothing bad of course :)

@Val123 Yeah, somewhere. Little brother tried to pretend it was his, I knew better. Fighting ensued, I was still bigger, I won. When I sat on him. :D

@ItalianPrincess1217 See! See! Everybody wants to hang crap on me and boss me around!! And I don’t know why! I’m goin’! I’m goin!’

I have a raccoon that I got the day I was born… and I still sleep with it every night. It’s difficult to sleep without it, actually.

When I was 2, I noticed a cleaning bucket right next to the stairs on the second floor. The color was really intriguing, kind of brownish. As a born explorer I had to investigate and get to the bottom of this mystery. Well, it got me to the bottom of the stairs on the first floor after taking an involuntary ride in the bucket and spilling all the content. My mother was not amused, to say the least. But years later, she always had a good laugh when telling the story.