What if your SO didn't "have your back"?

One of my main SO requirements is that she has my back. I 100% have hers as well. If it was in our house the dick running his mouth would have exited post haste.

That does suck, but this girl should have first stood up for herself.

I’d punch the friend in the kidneys for giving me shit. Then I’d punch my SO in the kidneys for acting like it was okay for his friend to be a douche.

Note: I don’t actually punch people. I’m a pathetic weakling. But there would be some serious verbal bitchslapping going on.

My husbands friend said something nasty to me right after I gave birth. I still have no forgiven him, and my husband always defended the guy saying “that’s just how he is” Uh, no.
It seems men are the idiots when it comes to situations like that.

If your SO doesn’t have your back, who does? That’s what SO’s are for!

Then she wouldn’t be my SO.

She would be flogged!

And, she knows that.

My SO wouldn’t have blind faith in me – he is objective…if I was hurt, he’d let them have it

Can someone give me a cast of characters, please?

My SO has let me down once or twice, but it’s because he doesn’t like arguing or fighting. I accept that he isn’t perfect, but I love him anyway.

also depends on whether your friend needed to be told off or not. yes, even in her own home.

being the homeowner doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be an idiot. no one’s allowed to be an idiot!

It would definitely bother me, but, at the same time, it would depend on why the friend was telling me off.

For the most part, though, I want my SO to have my back. Otherwise…GTFO!

I’m the more outspoken one in the relationship so usually I don’t need any back up. But if I ever did, my fiancé would absolutely be right there by my side. I could never be with a man who stood by and watched me getting yelled at and do nothing.

@daloon, friend of poster is verbally lambasted by a friend of the friend’s SO’s, in her own home, while the SO stood by and watched.

I would probably brain the “friend”.

@NaturalMineralWater Oh my God, you use the saying “I’m going to brain you” too? People always look at me funny when I say “brain”.

@ItalianPrincess1217 I use lots of antiquated terms. It gets people out of the daily normal. I just think some very bodacious words are lost in time.

I feel that it is impossible to comment on a case like this without knowing any details involved about the people, their motivations, what exactly happened, etc. I cannot imagine under what circumstances this could happen to me in the first place, so it suggests there is something about the circumstances I do not understand at all. Probably, if I did understand it better, my estimation of the situation would not be the same as my gut reaction to the question (which reaction the question is obviously phrased to solicit, too, I could add).

Yeah I’d drop them. I don’t really like submissive people.

Yeah, as @AstroChuck said, then she wouldn’t be my SO. This is an absolute pre-requisite for me, and has actually become a big issue in my current relationship.

Should your SO come to your defense if you’ve been out of line? It seems like there’s important details missing in this question. If the SO stood and let it take place, it sounds like perhaps he agreed with what his friend was saying.

Yes, there are some important details missing…I didn’t want to go too in depth for time/space sake and because it has to do with illegal behavior (I know, still vague).
To clarify a little more:
The “friend” brought something into the home of the woman and SO that the woman is openly ethically opposed to. He knew it but did it anyway. She asked the friend to “please’ not bring it in the house anymore and she “doesn’t blame him and is not mad at him”. In other words, he brought something into her home that he knew she didn’t want in her home. When she asked him (she even said please!) to not do it again, he gave her serious attitude and totally disrespected her in her own home. Meanwhile, SO stood by and watched (said nothing while friend told her off).

So in essence, the SO opposed his partner’s position on the “contraband” and sided with the friend on the issue, or was too much of what my grandmother would call a “Weak-kneed Willie” to put himself in a position where he had to take a stand one way or the other.

Not to decide is to decide.

Her house, her rules. She should kick both of their sorry asses to the curb…She can do better.

There have been a few times early in our relationship where my SO didn’t have my back and in my eyes, he let me down terribly. I did have some emotional disconnect for awhile and made no bones about telling him these are the types of things that take the shine off a thing. From his point of view then he did act in my defense even if I deemed it “not good enough”. We have agreed to disagree on things like this and let time take the sting away which it does, thank goodness.