What are some of your tricks to resolving small marital issues when you need to take your S/O's personality into consideration?

She rants, I sulk. Over and done with.

Also, generaly I just do as I’m told, so its all good.

Pick your battles, pick your times. I’ll often wait until we’re feeling close and then set it up very gently that I have something to say. Often riding somewhere in the car is a good time for us to talk. Sometimes I’ll say, “This isn’t a criticism but…..” (o.k., it is a criticism but I try not to raise his hackles…)

Tell him you’ll smack him in the head if he leaves messages like that. :D

I would turn off that feature on my phone. Soooo much easier.

What? Why can’t you two just talk something that simple out? You have to find ways to avoid confronting a nominal discussion like a noise from your phone?

@Blondesjon I KNEW someone would take issue with it!
@daloon Well, I don’t think it’s a feature that can be turned on and off. I think it’s just something the service provider “provides,” but you know what? I don’t know for sure, but I’ll sure check! Thanks for the idea!!

Needy to me, but what do you expect when you are out of town, a guy wants to talk right now.

A blowjob before I bicker usually does the trick.

@Val123 I have the same problem with my phone. I hate it. Ughhh!

@jonsblond and @Val123 If you asked a question about this, you might get someone to tell you how to stop it.

When we have a disagreement, he ignores it, and I talk to myself until I get over it. Just today, for instance, I got the dining room table all cleared off for the upcoming Thanksgiving dinner, and it wasn’t easy. He comes in and dumps an entire armload of stuff on the empty table.
Is he completely blind? How could he be so inconsiderate?
So, I don’t say a word, I just go into my sewing room and explain to myself that he didn’t know I spent all that time. He always takes up whatever space I make, in the pantry, in the refrigerator, on the counter, why should this be any different. He doesn’t have the foggiest idea he has done anything wrong. Finally, I am cooled down enough to simply mention it to him.

And – by the way – the stuff he dumped there is still there.

@YARNLADY . . .yikes

@daloon I imagine it would just be a matter of calling the service provider and talking to the techs….I’ll check tomorrow…

@YARNLADY Um…take the stuff and dump it on his side of the bed??

@Val123 Good suggestion. Since it is only steps from the cabinet it belongs in, I will just put it away.

Nooo…dump it on his side of the bed!!! HE can put it away. My point is, inconvenience him in the same way he inconveniences you!

@YARNLADY I am sorry, but your story made me laugh. They really just have no idea. My SO would do the same thing.

@Val123 I don’t think this has to be a criticism about him. Idea…When you are together and someone else leaves a message say something like, “Oh this dammed phone drives me crazy anytime anyone leaves a message. It beeps 6000 times! I would prefer if people would not leave a message or just text me. I can just call back missed calls.” Maybe he will get you a new phone, shut off the ringer or maybe, just maybe he will stop leaving messages. I told my So when we met that I hate voice mail and refuse to listen to him so unless it’s important he doesn’t bother. He knows I didn’t listen.

@kellylet I stand chastised. Thank you However, I’m in charge of getting “new” phones, if they’re to be gotten. Per @daloon ‘s suggestion, I’ll call tomorrow and see if this is a tech feature I can get turned off….

@Val123 I didn’t mean it to sound mean or judgmental. It was just an idea. I though if you brought it up about someone else it wouldn’t seem confrontational. Sorry if my answer came off pissy, it wasn’t meant to.

@kellylet No..you’re right. You were right. All cool on the MidWestern front! The question was basically to address…“Everyone has their hot button. What do you do to avoid pushing your S/O’s hot button?” It would have been better stated that way, but, as always, with Fluther, as the answers progress, the….thought progresses…

@jonsblond Um, you don’t happen to have a sister, do you? Or would you mind talking with my current gf a little…..?

We have only been together for 2 and a half years – sometimes we’re still learning certain things about each other…but generally speaking it is our expectation of each other that once an issue in the other’s character or personality is brought up that they are to work on it and improve…we don’t simply let our flaws stay there…we don’t believe in the cliche that people don’t change…we’re very used to communicating openly with each other but I would say it’s easier for me than for him…sometimes he thinks something he’d say wouldn’t be taken with ease by me but he turns out to be wrong…I encourage him to be more assertive with me and to voice any negative issues…this doesn’t always work…I on the other hand spend too much time in my head sometimes picking out a good way to say something and when I finally speak to him it feels, to him, as if there is an avalanche of stuff…but to me it doesn’t seem that way…

anyway…I forgot where I was going with this…I feel that he is a very secure person, that he can take criticism from me and that we have both grown together since we’ve met…to face problems bigger than ourselves