I'm attracted to someone who works for me - what to do?

You cannot afford to risk asking him our while supervising him. Whether he says yes or no, it can and likely will blow up in your face. That said, I met my husband at work. We were equals, and working in different departments, so we didn’t have the whole quid quo pro harassment issue to worry about, and we both went to our supervisors and asked permission before we went on our first date, but it still did create problems for other people and a perception of conflict of interest. Your best bet is to wait until he is no longer working for you, orchestrate a transfer for him to start reporting to someone else, or use some other creative method of avoiding sabotaging your career in the pursuit of love. It sounds like at this point, you don’t know if the feelings are mutual. Be aware that some of what you see in him may be part of his need to impress his Supervisor rather than his genuine self, but then again, he could actually be everything you dream he is. Play this one smart… If it is really meant to be, he’ll still be around after you aren’t supervising him anymore.

you can do nothing…...your the boss…..

@evil2 you’re

Wait. Tell him your feelings. Ask him if he’s interested in going out once his time within the company is up. Don’t act on your feelings just yet unless you are willing to sacrifice your career for the potential of a relationship with this person.

@holden- I was going to say that, darn..
It doesn’t answer your question but this reminds me of a movie! I just can’t put my finger on which one

Wait till he is not an employee, then move forward. If your feelings are true, they will stand the test of time.

as you said he has an ending soon to his position. you need to wait until his position is no longer valid. doing so makes a possibility for all types of drama if not a more serious issue such as sexual harassment.

Are we talkin like 21/39 age difference, or is it more like 28/33 cause the second one is much more likely to happen, the first one would more likely be for fun but not result in a serious relationship. Anyways if you are sure about it, I wouldn’t take him for granted whos to say he will be available in a year? If this is just a fling then I’d say no, but if you think it can be more (maybe a husband?) then what do you have to lose?

It’s more like a 25/33 age difference.

@LKidKyle1985 What I have to lose is my job, my dignity, my reputation, respect from my peers, etc. I’m generally known for being professional and responsible so this kind of behavior would come as a surprise to others.

I think you guys have confirmed for me exactly what I have thought for a year now – that I can’t do anything now and likely will not do anything after the employment relationship ends either.

Thats your call, but if you truly feel for this guy the way you described it, it would be a tragedy. My experience is when you find someone who matches you so well you rarely ever presented the perfect situation to act on it. Sometimes you just have to make things happen and take a risk. They usually pay off.

Do you spend time together outside work?

If you’re his supervisor, you’re exposing your company to a potential sexual harassment law suit. You cannot date someone that reports to you. If you’re interested in dating them, then you should move to a position where they are not reporting to you first.

@oratio No, so far it has been strictly business – my office is very uptight so it isn’t the kind of place where people generally spend time together outside of work – if I asked him out to lunch/drinks outside of work, it would be a red flag. That’s why I’m finding it difficult to figure out the next step, because it wouldn’t just be a natural progression of an out-of-office friendship.

Maybe you could start an after work for the office? Spending time together doesn’t have to be dating, but it takes the work relationship out of office. Getting some private life into the context.

Fire him. Then seduce him.

Wait until he doesn’t work for you. Anything else is going to cause a problem at the office, even potentially leading to you losing your job or getting sued by someone who sees favoritism or sexual harassment. However you could try to figure out a way to keep him around even after you won’t see him at work, such as the aforementioned after work get together.

Also, since your office isn’t big on getting to know coworkers outside of work, you would need to be very sure he doesn’t already have a relationship.

I know of a situation in which the woman worked in the same organization as a man she liked, but both were married. She had really fallen for the man—but felt, correctly, that there was nothing to be done. And, so nothing was done. However, when he was being transferred, she felt she had only one chance to tell him, so she told him only that she had “feelings for him.” Then nothing for many years. She was eventually widowed. Many years later, the man, who had not been happily married, divorced his wife. And they are now together, and this would not have happened if she had not at least let him know that there was a spark there.

Do it. Plain and simple. Jobs come and go, but you may never meet him or someone like him again.

On his last day, give him your home number and let him know you’d like to see him again.

I worked at a damn movie theater making $7.50 per hour and hooking up with someone under us was a instant fire.

They were cool with transferring people to other theaters. But I would bet that you don’t have that option.

Try it!!!!! if he iis the one that you want you should definatly see is he the kind of person you want.

Eventually it might be easier if either you take over a new team or he gets transferred to another team. There are different opinions about it, but I really believe mid-term it means trouble.

You don’t have to go 0–100 on this…...how about just letting him know you like him as person as well as a colleague….perhaps even suggest you want to stay in touch after his contract ends. If that goes well, you know you can ask him out once the work relationship is over – and knowing that will make it easier to wait a few months.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore it – if it is as good a match as you think it is, you should give it a shot.

a policy i have lived by is basically this….don’t dip your pen in company ink….its served me well