How often do you need to hear "I love you"?

I don’t know – I hear it pretty often so I don’t know what it’d be like not to hear it but I certainly would want to hear it daily

I don’t know if I need to hear it all the time, but it is something that we say to each other and our children every time we leave the house or say goodbye over the phone. My husband recently told me most of the guys that he works with give him shit for saying it all the time, but he doesn’t care what they think. He comes home to me, not them. ;)

It really depends on the person. Me and my SO tend to not say it all the time, but that’s just our relationship. Generally, you should try to adapt to your SO’s desires.

Also bear in mind though, just because your partner doesn’t say it all the time doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t love you. Some people just don’t like expressing their love that way. If it’s a good match, you’ll likely work something out over time.

I don’t need to hear it at all. According to that, I seem to need physical contact and acts of service more than anything verbal. and by physical contact, I don’t mean sex..I prefer kisses, touches and foreplay like activity
I rarely say it, I guess I don’t feel the need to say it since I don’t need to hear it. I know that’s entirely too narrow minded though, and I have to consider my husbands feelings. But, he seems to like little physical gestures just as I do. I’ll have to direct him to this question to see what he says

Need? I don’t know. Once a day does it for me, and more is very nice. After 32 years, it’s still once a day. If I were doing without, I might be able to answer better.

My wife tells me that a few times everyday. I would miss not hearing it. I find it strange that so many have difficulty saying those words to their SO.

We both say it everyday. I don’t know what I would do without the comfort and reassurance of those words.

I much prefer physical contact over hearing it. I don’t need to hear it more than once every few months. I don’t find it difficult to say it per se, but I just have little need to.

When it’s necessary, and when it really means something.

I think overuse of the phrase can eventually undermine it’s important meaning and message.

Why not refer to concrete circumstances like, hey, I’m really grateful for what you did this morning, because… or, you’re so good at cheering me up, that really means a lot to me… or I’m so touched by your surprise present, wow, and it’s not even my birthday…

@mattbrowne I agree with you, completely. I tend to say other things so the I love you doesn’t seem trite. I feel that there are so many other things that make me appreciate my SO and I voice those.

Love it when I can get it. I’d say – not often enough.

Lurve more often than love, sadly.

;-)

I don’t NEED to hear it at all. In fact, I can’t tell you when’s the last time he did say it. Do I care? Absolutely not. I could write a full screen here testifying to his love for me. He ‘tells’ me in 100 different ways every day. The way he looks at me, the things he does for me, the way he treats me, the respect he has for me. Just this morning, he was in the garage & made me a little gadget I needed. I didn’t ask for it. He just did it. Can I kiss him in public? You bet. He kisses me back.

I so agree with Matt. You can say it all day, but if you’re treated like shit, why bother? It’s a mockery. This is just his way. I learned years ago that saying words means nothing. It’s how you’re loved & treated. After 44 years of being with him, I get that 100%.

Like ALL the time
From different people of course

Well, I don’t need him to say it to know it, but if he suddenly stopped saying it I would be concerned and hurt.

It says my love language is quality time. I think that’s pretty darn true. I like spending time together with the person I’m dating. I like to be alone with him and just talk or to go walk around town with him.
I feel the same way as @holden. If he didn’t tell me he loved me, I think I’d be pretty hurt. Especially since I know I’d be saying it to him.

I would like to say for the record that my man says I love you enough for me, he also shows me every single day. I love you mabl8tr.

I don’t need to hear it often. Maybe not ever. If I hear it too much, I get annoyed and pull away. “Quality Time” is my main love language, and often I prefer that quality time to be spent in silence, just being near each other and watching TV or reading our own books or something like that.

@all- BTW, I love you.

I don’t think I need to hear it, but maybe if I didn’t hear it I would miss it. My husband and I don’t have a very easy marriage right now, and sometimes I think that words are so easy to say and so hard to actually prove. If I don’t feel loved, I don’t want him to say it.

I like to hear it multiple times a day. Unless it’s really excessive (like every five minutes or something overly clingy like that), I don’t think I can hear it enough.

My SO hardly ever says it first. He usually says “I love you too” in response to me. but he has a horrible loveless background with cold hearted parenting, so it is difficult for him to verbalize now.

He shows me in other ways how much he loves me tho. he tells me that I have changed his life for the better, and very often says he doesn’t think he would be alive today if I hadn’t come into his life. He also frequently says, “Everything good I have done in my life was done with you.”

He shows much appreciation for even the smallest things I do for him, and he constantly surprises me with amazing outings to places I would not have seen otherwise, and surprise gifts.

He never shies away from a hug or a kiss from me, and responds in kind every time even tho he does not intitiate them often.

Just then other day he looked at me and told me he loved me, then said “I just noticed that I don’t say it first very often. I need to work on that.” That meant the world to me. Since he doesn’t say it much, it was much more special when he said it out of the blue.

I would like to hear it more often, but his actions speak volumes, so that’s ok with me.

We say it often, many times a day. We also touch/hug a lot. If he stopped saying it, I would definitely miss it, also wonder what was wrong.

At least daily. We say it each time we hang up or end a conversation because he has to get back to work or something. When we’re physically together, we say it a lot more and show physical affection. PDA <3

Hey! How about a little, “I love you too, AC.”

Most of us are pretty honest, Chuck. Sorry.

KIDDING. I LOVE YOU, MAN.

@AstroChuck Even though you’re a Hornet-lover, I guess I like you a little. (chuff)

I thought it went without saying that everyone loves AstroChuck.

Wow, I don’t know! None of my SOs ever told me they loved me. One was very huggy, though. I guess that was his way. It felt nice to be hugged a lot. I’m very physically affectionate and I like saying the words, myself.

(((((((HUGS))))))) We love you, @AstroChuck!!

We say it all the damn time. I like hearing it, and so does he. We tend to say it whenever we’re thinking it (which is a lot).

I can’t say I’ve ever noticed how often it was said or not said. Like others have mentioned, the words mean less to me than actions.

That said, @AstroChuck, you know we love ya.

I don’t know, every now and then. I haven’t noticed it exactly. I’m not one of those people who needs to say it or hear it every time we go 10 feet away from each other. Same goes with my family.

But it is nice to hear and there’s no real pattern as to who says it first.

I’m waiting to hear it for the first time.

I prefer it isn’t said all the time. It seems to lose something when it is. I think people who feel the need to say it constantly are trying to make up for something lacking.