How do you work with people who just think differently from you?
I’m a big advocate that we should try to build up a diversity of people in the workplace (in terms of personality). However, sometimes it just seems like there are people that are just on a completely different wavelength from me. It’s not that I dislike people like that, it’s just that I almost always seem to get nowhere in communicating with these people.
For instance, I’m an INTP and someone I work with is an ESTJ (or so I’m convinced). We both enjoy each other’s company, but when it comes down to discussing work, it seems like I’m speaking German and he’s speaking Martian. We can barely agree on what problems need to be solved, much less what that solution is.
Has anyone had any success in dealing with this kind of situation? What did you do?
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How about a longer talk during a social occasion? If you know more about the person some of the Martian can eventually be translated to English. During a social talk you can also ask, What do you really mean by that? If it’s still unclear, admit that you don’t understand. Let him or her rephrase three or four times.
I don’t let myself get frustrated at work anymore. The moment I learned that people at work should not be allowed to affect my happiness, work became a much better place, and it has allowed me to think of every situation in a more positive light. That in turn has allowed me to think of solutions for the problems that I encounter on a more frequent basis.
—I try to separate my work and personal life. It’s hard aometimes, but necessary.
Agreeing to disagree, debate rather than argument, is key to the sanity.
I try to always be the bigger person and not let anyone bother me. If I don’t let myself be affected, then I have no frustration. I don’t have to understand everybody, I just have to understand that no one is going to agree and think like me all of the time.
Actually, that was tongue in cheek. Thinking about it a bit more, I would say that if you have to work on projects with people whose style is so different from your own, it might be best to do much of the communication through e-mail. That way, you have time to digest and process what they say and also think about how you want to respond.
MattBrowne’s idea of getting to know them through social situations a bit more is a good one also.
I blame the situation on the other person and use it as an excuse for not doing any work.
Since you get along, you can probably openly discuss how different you are and work around it.
Sometimes you can agree to separate your duties – specify which of you is responsible for each task, and agree no kibitzing or back seat driving.
That’s one of the reasons work places a lot of emphasis on Strengths Finder. Recognizing that people are coming from a different place helps you adjust how you work with them, and how you leverage their strengths to get a task completed. When things get really difficult, my manager suggests asking Why five times to get at the root cause of a person’s reasoning. Usually when you get down that far, it’s easy to explain where you’re coming from, and get agreement, or at least be able to attack a problem in a cohesive manner. Sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s them.
Hee hee, Myers Briggs!
<——ESTP
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