Is it reasonable to feel bad on my birthday?

You’re working hard. Success comes at different times for different people. If you keep at it, you will eventually achieve whatever you hope to accomplish.

Sure. I always do.

Enjoy.

Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to yourself, if you think you are fine then your fine.

@Parrappa , I know. I do work hard to implement and fulfill my dreams. It seems so far now. I see other people doing better.

There are people who do feel bad on their birthday. I think it is normal to compare your life to other people’s on your birthday, but I wouldn’t. You are you and you are the only person who is you. Everyone has a different purpose in their life and in the end, most of them wouldn’t want it to work out any other way. You cannot see the big picture just yet. Hang in there.

You don’t have to feel a certain way. But, you should be grateful for living through another year of life.

Yes, it is reasonable . Very common. Everybody sometimes has uncertainty and self-doubt.

It sounds like you also have healthy positive thoughts (“I am looking very young and at not my real age. Girls say I’m looking only 18–20. I am studying and working so hard.”).

Happy birthday! it sounds like you are doing well!

Its very common.

Maybe on some level you had expectations of where you should be by this age? Some of the other people you are comparing yourself to may be unhappy w/what they have accomplished, also. If you think you are stuck, then try to think of a way to change it. When I was 25, I was married & had 2 kids(positive) but had dropped out of college after 2 semesters(negative). I am disappointed w/myself that I never went back to school but overall I am very happy w/my life.

@kariered best answer!
(welcome to Fluther!)

@Ranimi23, To me, it’s sounds as though you are on the right track. Hang in there!

@Ranimi23, I can remember recognizing my own limitations around the age of 25— I was never going to be a brain surgeon, an astronaut or a mathematician. On the other hand, I was never going to be a teenaged unwed mother with a GED and a dead-end job at Walmart. For every shortcoming I could find in my own life, I could also find real life situations that would not happen to me because of where I was in life at that age. Yes, there were people who had better things happening for them, but time has proven that not everything that seemed better at 25 turned out to be better. For example, at 25, I had a friend who was working for his father, making big money for doing nothing. 15 years later, his father lost the business, and the son could not get another job because the only thing he knows how to do is be the boss’ son. He a manual labor job at age 40, starting over, going back to school to finish the degree he never got because he was too busy goofing off.

Having hope and discipline is a great gift. Add a sense of humor, and things will always turn out well.

Happy birthday! At 25, you can now legally rent a car in all 50 states in the US without having to pay extra for the priviledge.

From 25 to about 35 I cried every birthday. I still am not sure why.

No it is not “reasonable” to feel bad on your birthday. But it is acceptable. Stuff don’t always work out as is should. (My Grandma was buried on my 20th birthday)
But it is still your special day. So try and mark it.

Hey you did, here.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday. I found as I got older, the magic of birthday’s faded away. It’s just not as exciting as it was when I was little. I just grin and bear it now. I’m not the type of person that wants spotlight, so it’s usually a rough day for me to get through. Don’t worry, you are normal.

I think it’s eminently reasonable to feel bad on your birthday. I’ve been doing it since I can remember. Also, it’s pretty common to feel like everyone else is ahead of you. I’ve been doing that, too, ever since I can remember.

Of course, one really has no idea how others are really doing. So the comparison is specious. Doesn’t stop me from doing it. I figure it must be some warped way of motivating myself. If everyone else is doing better, I better work harder.

As to birthdays—I can’t really explain it. They just suck. They say you are getting older. They say another year has going by without you doing shit. They say that no one cares enough to throw you a party (or at least, they didn’t care to throw me a party). Birthdays have always been disappointing to me, so I’ve come to dread them. Reminders of how little others think of me.

It’s probably a delusion to feel that way, but I do. Maybe one of these years I’ll come to appreciate that I’ve made it another year. Right now, it just seems like it’s one year closer to death.

Happy birthday!

Make sure that you’re working hard for what you truly want, and figure out what “doing better” means for you. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean a lot of money and getting a lot of things.

Make sure you’re clear on whose lead you’re following (Hint: it should be more and more your own lead as you grow older), and that you’re not doing things just because older people around you say that what they do is what you’re supposed to do.

We all hear that sort of stuff, and at some point we all have to question those standards and determine whether they are what’s true for us or not. Make sure for your own peace of mind that what you’re doing is a extension of your own values and true wants, and not just, Oh, I’m supposed to have this by 18, this by 20 and this by 25 because my father did or my friends do.

Life doesn’t work that way. There are no rules. Those goalposts society puts up aren’t real. I still haven’t totally wrapped my head around that yet, but it seems to be turning out to be the case.

It’s OK to feel whatever it is you feel. Feelings are giving you a message, and they don’t care what day it is. Sit with them for a while and see what it is they’re trying to tell you.

You can feel anything you want, whenever you want. Why would you want to feel bad? Personally, I try to avoid feeling as much as possible.

Yes that is reasonable

@YARNLADY What do you mean? People can’t always control what they are feeling, they can hide it or bottle it in. but not make it not be there altogether
Why would you try to avoid feeling? Feelings are what make life worth living, unfortunately we have to accept the bad feelings along with the good

@justme1 A lot of people believe that feelings are uncontrollable, but I do not happen to believe that. I believe that “bad” feelings have their place, and I make sure they stay where they belong (in private, for a controlled amount of time). I like being happy, and I see no point in feeling bad when I don’t want to.

Every day when I wake up, I ask myself how I can make this day a good day. A long time ago, I made a pledge to myself to be happy every single day for the rest of my life. Anybody can learn how to do it, but it takes time and effort. Most people don’t want to go to the trouble.

I believe the only thing we can control is the way we react to how we feel, and that is to a certain extent. I can always control myself not to be violent, but there have been times where it was completely uncontrollable for me to cry. We can’t actually control how we feel, we can push it aside or deal with it how we want to. But until the feeling is dealt with it will stay….

Life is what I’m doing with them.
Is that the thing? I’m doing a lot, it’s just taking time and the years passing by… If only I could have a time machine to take me a few years back and start from scratch.

The days are long, but the years are short.

Therein lies your frustrations. There is a lot of work to be done on daily basis, making time pass slowly for you, but making other people’s achievements look effortless to you.

A time machine would be nice, but perhaps you would have made different wrong choices at the time, and would have ended up still in the same place. You learn little from the things that you do correctly or that come easily; it’s only through taking the time to correct mistakes and apply effort that value is gained.

Perhaps it would be a good practice to celebrate your birthday each year by taking stock of how much you’ve gained since your last birthday, marking not the passing of time, but the gaining of wisdom, self-knowledge, friendships, and the good choices you’ve made.

Envy of others is one of the oldest emotions known to mankind. To survive, it feeds on your heart and soul. Envy and happiness cannot coexist.

You know what? After reading all of you I’m feeling much better than before. Like everything is now possible for me. Sky is the limmit :-)

@PandoraBoxx What a great idea for a birthday gift.

Well, two days after and I really feel better. Probably just the other day want all wrong for me. Things didn’t work as they should and I didn’t have the time to think. Now I’m thinking and it is a great day just to sit and think.

I wouldn’t say it’s unusual.

Perhaps unnecessary or unproductive.

How we feel is a result of how we think.

Given the choice of entertaining thoughts that make us feel wonderful or thoughts that make us feel miserable, who in their right mind would choose to entertain thoughts of misery?
—-
Required reading: As A Man Thinketh by James Allen