What to do about a two and 1/2 year old who apparently has nightmares?

It sounds like you are dealing with a precocious child. I’d want to know what goes on during the day (is he in a daycare setting where someone may be frightening him?) Are there family tensions, like a separation or divorce? Once this sort of possibility is eliminated, then I would say he just needs comforting.

This may or may not be night terrors, but you may want to ask your pediatrician just to be sure. My sons both had them, although one more than the other (and more pronounced). The link gives some good advice about how to deal with it, but aside from that, what I found helped was to monitor what my boys ate and drank before bed, not feeding them too close to bedtime, and also, what kind of stimuli they had (reading to them, what kind of books we read, no TV or excitable music).

It was trial and error, and at one point, we also figured out playing white noise (or running a fan on low) in their room seemed to help get them re-oriented if/when they did wake up (something about the constant noise helped them with continuity, I think).

My children began having nightmares at two. For me it runs in my family. I probably didn’t deal with it correctly because I still have a six year old in my bed… I have heard of people creating an “Anti-Monster” spray bottle and incorporating spraying under the bed, in the closet, behind the door into their nighttime routine.

My children both had night terrors at that age. It helped when we understood they weren’t really awake. We held them and soothed them and reassured them and presently tucked them back in. At the time it seemed as if that stage lasted a long time, but really it didn’t—weeks at most, I think.

The biggest problem was the well-meaning neighbor who heard the child screaming and immediately thought we were beating him.

@jamielynn2328 I was just about to suggest a monster spray.

@YARNLADY Any air freshener will do (You can find ones that don’t smell strongly). You print out a label that says “Monster Spray” and tape it to the can. Then you spray all around so that monsters are repelled. What @Jeruba said about making sure they know they’re awake is the important second step. :)

Thanks for the great ideas, so far.
I’m leary of Monster Spray, because he is afraid of sprays. When ever his Mom sees a spider, she screams and yells BRING THE SPRAY, BRING THE SPRAY. So someone in the house (husband or her mom) will come in and spray the spider. He has gotten frightened of it.

I do think the idea of ‘white noise’ is a good one. I had forgotten how well that worked with one of my other grandkids when he was that age. To this very day, he sleeps with a fan in his room. I have a music box I bought for him, and that worked this weekend.

My daughter started worrying about monsters around age two. I tried several things but the one that finally worked was to get her a stuffed monster pillow. They had them at the Disney store from the movie Monsters, Inc. I told her it was her very own monster and that he would stay awake and tell all of the other monsters to go away and leave her alone.

A friend of mine got her son one of those flashlights that he can squeeze to make it come on. The one he has is a dinosaur. The light comes on and it roars when he squeezes. Whenever he thinks there is a monster, he squeezes it and the roaring dinosaur scares the monster away.

@Supacase I love the flashlight dinosaur. I’m going to look for one.

@Supacase Those are great ideas!

@YARNLADY You can use a squirt bottle. So its not a spray so much as a squirt. :) A little lemon juice in water makes it not smell and taste like water in case the young ‘un checks!

So the “monsters” at night that kids are afraid of are their dreams? I remember having scary dreams at night and my mom would reassure me it was a dream. My sister didn’t want to go to sleep at night without a light in the hall because she was afraid, but not of her dreams. It seems like it is confusing two things.

I think what @pdworkin mentioned about knowing what the child experiences during the day is very significant, especially if it is a reoccuring nightmare.

I don’t think it’s necessarily what goes on during the day. Some children are just very imaginative and it seeps through their dreams. This is usually just a phase, but it is difficult to deal with.

We have only had one night where our son (almost 2½) called me in because of “monsters” I just soothed him and it was over with. I think if it were consistent, I might keep a nightlight in their, definitely have music playing, we do that now, anyways and maybe look for some childrens books with nice monsters in it…so he’s not as scared.
Hopefully all the tips you’ve gotten will help the little guy!

My daughter used to get up at night pretty frequently, sometimes monsters, more often aliens or hot lava. She loved the book Go Away Big Green Monster.

@casheroo It’s generally not what goes on during the day, but responsible parenting demands that these possibilities be ruled out first.

@pdworkin I do know that @YARNLADY homeschools, and does have one of her grandsons living with her (I’m pretty sure they still live there) so I assume this is that grandson, since she is putting him to bed. I just can’t imagine it being anything going on at home.

@casheroo good point. I had not thought of that.

@casheroo @pdworkin @JLeslie The little grandson is here on weekends and at his house with his Dad, Mom, other Grandma, and Great Grandma the rest of the time. My oldest grandson lives here with me.
One thing that has changed is he has a new (6 month old) brother. I think it’s mostly he’s the smartest kid I ever saw (really, not just grandma talk) and that includes a marvelous imagination.

@YARNLADY Maybe he is having fears of being separated from his mother? The new baby might have made him “regress” a little.

@casheroo Well, then I’m glad those possibilities have been ruled out. Now everyone can relax.

@sndfreQ Hit the nail on the head. We just learned about night terrors in my Psych class, and he is the perfect age to have them. The thing is is that they really aren’t awake when they have the terrors, they are almost sleep walking/talking.

@ShiningToast Not all nightmares are night terrors.

Psych 101 strikes again!

@avvooooooo Oh I know. But at that young age, he is more prone than an older child. I’m not saying he isn’t having nightmares, but night terrors are a real possibility and not to fret too much ;).

Invent little acts chasing the monster out of the house.

I just thought of something… Have you asked him to describe the monsters? It could be helpful to know exactly what he’s frightened of.

@MacBean that’s what I am wondering. I just asked my mom if we were afraid of monsters and she looked at me like I was nuts. We definitely had nightmares, seems totally different to me. I don’t have kids though, and know very little on the topic.

@JLeslie: I think in this case, because he’s said that he doesn’t want to sleep because the monsters will get him, we’re assuming the monsters are in his dreams. That may or may not be true… Maybe that’s something else @YARNLADY should consider asking him about. Is he afraid to sleep because the monsters will get him in his dreams, a-la Freddy Krueger, or does he think they’ll only eat him or whatever if he isn’t awake?

@MacBean Good point. I have also put up curtains in his room at my house, so he can’t see the trees and such outside.

Should one play along with that there are such a thing as monsters, by “chasing” them away? Or is there any point of telling a small child that there are no such things?

@oratio Since there really are monsters, it would be lying to tell him there aren’t. I prefer to simply comfort him, and let him know that I am here to protect him.

@oratio – Monsters are real in the brains of kids. You can measure the firing neurons. Dreams feel very real, especially for kids. Now as parents when you’re with them in the real world, chasing them away is a helpful symbolic act. Psychologists recommend the method for small kids. Of course it might not work in every case. But it’s worth a try.

I use to do a bedroom sweep before tucking my granddaughter in. She would point out were the monsters hide. We would look together. At first, in each place, she would tell me ‘there’s one!” I would pretend to grab it my the neck, drag it down the stairs, and kick it out the front door. Once every monster was gone, I tucked her into bed. First night no nightmares; however, it became our bedtime ritual.