Can I still wear it?

Wear it. It’s not a ring.

If the shirt fits, wear it. It can be just a shirt, not a material symbol of the love lost. However, if wearing it bothers you too much, or hurts your heart, don’t wear it. It’s just a shirt – not worth feeling sad over.

Similarly with the book – here’s what I would do. Keep it, but put it away and don’t look at it. Don’t torture yourself with it. Years from now, you might like to have it as a memory – when the memory is old and pleasant, not a big hurtful wound. I wish I’d had a book of pictures from some of my past relationships. Besides, you can always destroy it later if you want – but you can’t put it back together later if you decide you want it.

Whatever you want.

I agree with Laureth. Wear the sweatshirt if you like it. It’s not like it was ever his; you bought it and you wore it. It didn’t come out of his closet. The scent associated with it is your own. Buy or make yourself a memory box, and put the book in it, along with other mementos that you may have or will acquire that you want to keep, but don’t want to stumble over on a regular basis.

I don’t see a problem with wearing it… unless it makes it more difficult to deal with the breakup.. but that doesn’t seem to be an issue.

yes it is an issue… just not one I chose to discuss with people. I’m dealing with it alone, and it kinda does bother me to wear it, but also bothers me not to wear it…

@kayyyyleigh Hmm.. well it’s up to you then. If you are having trouble moving on and it’s definitely over between you two than maybe you shouldn’t wear it.. get rid of it to help you move on.. but only you can decide whether that is a viable option.

Perhaps it shouldn’t be an all-or-nothing decision, but more of a day-by-day choice. If wearing it helps you deal with the pain, wear it that day. But the next day, if wearing it makes you feel horrible instead of better, wear something else.

Sometimes, it’s not a straight upward climb from “hurt” to “better.” There are relapses, leaps forward, falling back. One day you feel fine, the next day it’s like it hurts all over again. Plan wardrobe accordingly. ;)

Agreed. wear it.

If you like it, wear it. If it gives you negative feelings don’t wear it. I see no reason why you have to anything with either of these things right now. Put the book somewhere in the back of your closet and maybe put the sweatshirt with it. If you find you are never comfortable wearing the sweatshirt again donate it to a homeless shelter. If you don’t want to look at the book – don’t, but you might want to hold onto it because some day when this relationship is long over and you’ve moved on to the wonderful things you are destined for in this life, it might be a pleasant memory.

people ask me why I don’t wear it anymore.

Tell them the truth: “It was my ex-boyfriend’s and I don’t want to wear it.”

Tell them a modified truth: “I just don’t like to wear it any more.”

Tell them a lie: “I lost it.”

Your other alternative is to wear it anyway, as long as it doesn’t bother you.

Throw it out, or give back and go buy a new one that has no “baggage”. Let go of the past completely.

I used to wear my boyfriend’s hoodie when we were apart for a few days and I was missing him. When we broke up the sweatshirt reminded me of him and I had to shove it in the back of my closet for a long time. Looking at it brought back memories and made me hurt all over again. Eventually I healed and grew strong enough to remove it from my closet and toss it in the garbage. If wearing your ex’s sweater brings back bad memories, throw it out.