Why do people cheat on each other?

It has been said by some Evolutionary Psychologists that at one time in our history, extra-pair copulations had adaptive effects vis-a-vis reproductive capacity. See the “Coolidge Effect” for one hypothesis.

For the thrill of a boring life.

“Be cause there jerks”.

I think that a lot of cheating is completely unplanned, so it’s not like they had much time to think about ending the relationship; they might not have even realized they were dissatisfied with the relationship. Also, I would suppose that some people do it for the thrill, because it could certainly be thrilling for some. I would also suppose that people don’t end the relationship once they’ve begun cheating because they fear the problems that will cause and figure that can continue to get away with cheating.

1.) The relationship or commitment exists in the mind of one person but not both. Unless it’s been discussed and agreed to then you don’t have exclusivity, implied or hopeful feelings don’t cut it.
If that’s what you’re after then say so and except no substitutes!

2.) One of the pair is playing “couple” until someone they want better comes along. I see a lot of people get together because they’re lonely but not necessarily all in for each other. This “let’s be together until further notice” is pathetic but it happens. The person cheating is usually testing out the new person before dumping the first which they usually get around to.

3.) Some cheaters really love their partners and don’t want to cheat but are wired to need huge amounts of emotional and physical affirmation in order to feel appreciated, attractive, loved, etc. They literally have a different experience of what pleasure is compared to many. Some people are addicted to adrenaline and dopamine and the thrill and risk of affairs, even emotional affairs drive them.

4.) Anger- humiliation- retaliation: People do this all the time where one feels the other isn’t giving the type of attention they want and after enough hints, talks, fights, etc. they turn to an affair as a distraction and outlet even though what they most desire is from their partner. I also see a lot of people do this one where one person isn’t quite sure how deeply they’re in the relationship but they still want to be ‘together’ so they up yanking the chain of the partner who’s basically hoping and waiting on them to make up their mind and that frustrated partner finally says, “fuck you, wait on the fence all you like” and they go and soothe their disappointment elsewhere.

For some it is because they feel unloved or taken for granted. Stupid reason, but it is one of many reasons why.

@jonsblond: I forgot that one, probably because it’s the most sad. It’s not a stupid reason especially when the hurt and cheating partner feels the other stays with them mainly out of a sense of responsibility or because breaking up would be an affront to their own ego and/or social reputation.

Ask Tiger, he seems to enjoy the “club” scene.

They feel unloved, they get caught up in the moment. or they just want to be able to do as they please and keep someone else on the side, no matter what cheating is wrong

I’ll tell you why I did. My relationship was going through a rough patch (especially in the bedroom). I worked in an office with a desk next to a man who always paid me a lot of attention. He gave me compliments, made me feel sexy again. One day the office decided to go out for drinks after work. My decision to tag along was my first mistake. I shouldn’t have put myself in a situation that could potentially lead to flirting, dancing, etc. But I did. One thing led to another, and I’m sure you can fill in the blanks. Instead of talking with my s/o about the issues we were having, I bottled it up and eventually I lost all my self respect which ultimately led me to cheat. I was immature, selfish, and completely disrespected my guy. Not ok. But I learned from it and that’s what matters most. Sometimes you get yourself into situations that could’ve been avoided. So now I make sure I’m never vulnerable. And I also make sure that no matter what issues I’m having, I always talk about them with my guy. It’s so important.

I believe most cheaters fall into the situation @ItalianPrincess1217 fell into. They aren’t feeling as happy at home and there just happens to be a friend/acquaintance who says the words they need to hear. They end up in a situation in which it could happen, and happens before they can give it reasonable thought.
Then there are those others that do it because they either just want to, or need the thrill.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. I believe the motivation for cheating falls int certain areas: greed, revenge, excitement, apathy, selfishness.

Guys, even powerful guys like Clinton, Woods, Bryant, Magic etc, some who have stunning wives cheat because they get greedy. You have all these hot women jumping through hoops to get your attention, a gaze, their boobies signed by you. It gets intoxicating. It is like a kid with a platter of cupcakes in front of them. They want them all even though they know they can’t eat them all. This can overlap with selfishness but cheating usually always crosses lanes a little.

Revenge, someone would cheat on a spouse to make the other pay for not giving them the attention they need or wanted. For neglecting them “she treats me like this, I will show her”. “He stood me up for the last time”.

Excitement, of knowing you are doing something you should not. The cloak and dagger, getting away with it, the cat and mouse play.

Apathy; losing interest in their mate. This maybe the catalyst to one of the other but they just stoke the fair to one of the others.

The basic starts to all cheating is disrespect and loss of communication. When things start to go sour in a relationship and you have no way to convey it you your mate in a civil and calm way, resentment sets in. With resentment comes not caring about how the other feels just your own happiness. Once yu stop respecting their feelings you can cheat and put them as the blame and not your own self and your decision.

Watching Cheaters, one or the other person is never home with their honey and other times a person just looses interest and would rather cheat than tell the person its over.

There are lots of ways to hurt someone your in a relationship with and if your Exclusive then it should be respected, the Wife and I are in an Open Marriage and the rule is if we have someone new the other gets to meet them First!

@ItalianPrincess1217: Nothing is a worse torment than a frequent acquaintance/co worker offering you what you want your partner to be doing. It makes you even more angry at your partner for what seems like them putting you in the position to be tempted in the first place out of frustration. I’ve seen a lot of “office couples”, sometimes they’re not sexually involved but for some reason they bond and give each other the attention they need in flirting, hugging, sharing meals, shopping, talking out their home lives, etc.