Do you believe that if you wait to have sex with someone you just started dating, there's a better chance of having a long term, meaningfull relationship?

I am a girl, but i know what you mean about sex! the truth is alot of guys don’t want to wait too long for sex.

I don’t know, frankly, i would perfer to tease them as long as possible but thats not practical.

Teasing is fun!

I think its okay as long as you dont put out all the time. Sex becomes a problem if you fall into a pattern where you feel like you have to always fullfill his sexual needs.

Three weeks isn’t really waiting once you get older.

Every person is different. I think trying to place relationships into nicely packaged boxes is stupid. Every person is different. Some people can hook-up on the first date and live happily ever after.

I prefer to wait until the test results come in.

@johnpowell That’s exactly what I mean. I didn’t wait very long to start having sex with him and our relationship has turned out just fine. Some people would think that I shouldn’t have done it so soon.

In my experience, no. If a person isn’t serious about a relationship it doesn’t matter when you start to have sex. A relationship is about the love you feel and show for who someone else is.

I think people get to know each other differently depending on whether or not sex is involved. And I think lots of women become more emotionally invested if they’ve had sex, sometimes to the detriment of their mental health.

It all depends on the person. I think that the relationship is most likely to last if the two people are both comfortable when they decide to have sex. Also if they get along and stuff, relationships aren’t based only on sex also.

If you are interested in casual sex just for the fun of it, then I don’t think it matters.

But I guess if you are looking for a serious long term relationship then it is better to know a person’s soul before you know their body. Bodies can always learn to accommodate each other (well almost always) but minds and spirits, if too diverse, cannot so easily.

No. If you were meant to be together it won’t matter if you waited a year or three days.

I had sex with my fiancé within the first week of our relationship. We’re still going strong 4½ years later. So no, I don’t think it matters much.

@holden Well put. I agree.

Three weeks??? You did wait!!! And I disagree with @rooeytoo—getting to know a person’s body is part of getting to know a persons soul, and vice-versa. You should take the step when both of you are ready and willing.

I do wait a while, just to see if we get on mentally before complicating things with trying to bump uglies as much as possible. If we get on, then its on like donkey kong!

I don’t think it is a one-dimensional decision in which time is the only factor.

There can be a lot of anecdotes about long-term relationships developing from relationships in which there were early sexual encounters, but mostly they are exceptions that prove the rule. Most of the time, relationships don’t become long term so most of the time no matter when you have sex it won’t work out.

That’s why what you should base your decision on when to have sex on is the situation, the two people involved, how you feel about each other.

What is important is that, as a rule, you should respect your body and not give it casually to almost anyone.

For @airowDee and others who said “guys don’t like to wait,” too bad. It is not only about what they want, it is about what you want and how you feel about them. Guys who won’t wait and dump you for that are not guys you want anyway. Sex is not coin.

I’ve waited to have sex before, and it was not a serious relationship.

I had sex with the guy I ended up marrying, on our second date. (Although we had known each other for a while before dating.)

Your mileage may vary.

There are no rules so there is no right or wrong answer.

Personally I believe that a woman holds an invisible lead over a man until she sleeps with him. After that the relationship is rarely the same again – but this is not necessarily a bad thing.

If you want to have a caring and emotional relationship with a person, I would suggest getting to know them first as your initial sexual experience will then be much closer to “making love” than having sex with somebody you barely know.

But don’t get me wrong – casual sex is great, particularly when both parties are in it for fun and excitement and emotions are not getting in the way.

A strong and loving relationship can of course be built regardless of when you first sleep with a person but getting to know somebody and having that sexual wonder is also great and can be a really rewarding and fantastic experience when it then happens.

I think it’s based upon the theory that men want to have sex from the moment they see a woman, so if a man is willing to wait a while before they engage in such activities, then they must be a keeper!

Nonsense ofcourse.

Yes. I just get sick of guys really quickly. Therefore if we spread things out, there’s something to look forward to so I last longer with the guy. I think the quality of sex between people who care about each other is greater than casual sex (of which I am a big fan) so it’s worth waiting until you care about each other and are comfortable with each other.
Now if only I could find someone to wait with…

Well the book of ‘Rules’ I believe stipulates that you have to keep a man waiting until date 4!! I think that’s a load of twaddle and people should go with their feeling in the moment. Personally I’m not into having one night stands and believe that sex is so much better with somebody who you love.

I think initial judgement is enough to decide on whether the time is right to have sex and communication and getting to know each other is the key to developing a longer term relationship.

I have to wait, or my mind goes insane.
I can’t desire a guy in that sense until I know I have genuine feelings for him.
If I do, then bow chicka wow wow.

I can not just give you a simple yes or no answer. It really depends on the two people. You may gain respect by holding out, but you may lose him for not putting out. But if he does leave you for not putting out, it is for the best. Just talk about it with your partner