How do i get over my weakness of not being able to show a woman affection?

Do you have any friends? Perhaps they can help you by hanging out with you, and meeting people more easily.

Find a public place that you feel comfortable in. It doesn’t have to be a bar or anything, but it should be a place you are comfortable with. If the situation arrives, start chatting with someone you don’t know, just to help you speak to strangers easily. Practice makes perfect after all.

The number one thing is you have to be in a comfortable environment. The number two thing is taking that first step and actually approach a girl that seems interesting. Once you start chatting, it becomes alot easier. You just have to make that first leap.

Edit: Oh, I thought you meant having problems actually approaching women. To show them you are interested, just ask them out. Ask her to go out to dinner with you or something. Like I said before, you just have to make that first leap.

@JasonNames, you probably still have a few minutes in which to edit your question, if you’d like to fix the spelling of “woman” in the main title.

Yes I have a few nice groups of friends..But I T only show a girl the attentions she deserves when talking..and then I cant show more interest in one then that. I just cant figure how to let them know im intrested other then something in appropriat in my opinion.

I think maybe you ought to try an entirely different approach. Dating often starts very casually and out of a common interest. Instead of looking for a woman and thinking about going to bars, why don’t you develop the social side of one of your interests? Most things you might be interested in probably have some kind of club, information exchange, special interest group, class, or other opportunity for interaction associated with them. That would provide you with a great basis for meeting someone. And the common ground would present you with conversational openers that can help you over a lot of initial rough spots.

For another kind of option, carve out a little time to do some kind of volunteer work a couple of hours (or more) a week. Again, the interests you already have might lead to opportunities. For example, a community center might need someone to teach computer skills to kids or to seniors. So—say you do this, and someone you see there all the time looks interesting. One Saturday when you’ve put in your time, you just say as you’re leaving, “Would you like to get a cup of coffee?” That’s an invitation to spend a little time together getting acquainted, informally, in a public place, without any (much) social pressure.

If somebody turns you down you can just smile and say, “Okay, maybe another time,” and exit gracefully.

Working side by side on anything—building sets for a theatre company, caring for animals at the petting zoo, making calls for a political campaign, folding and labeling newsletters for your interest group, setting up tables and chairs for a tournament—makes getting acquainted pretty easy, covers gaps in the conversation, and takes you out of the hot seat. A special bonus is that the people you meet there have already established a shared interest.

Why don’t you think about how you go about getting to know people, and wait until a bit later to figure out how to express interest? My sense of it is that you want to put step 2 ahead of step 1.

What are your interests? Perhaps you can find some women with the same interests.

Most of the time, people start relationships by having common interests or through people they both know, that sort of thing. Women are often on their guard at bars and clubs because so many guys approach them there. You will have your best luck meeting a woman through a common interest or mutual acquaintance, but just going out to new places during the day won’t hurt your chances. Especially if you don’t often hang out in “girly” places, like coffeehouses, shopping districts, art galleries, cafes, etc.

You should also try to make friends with some women without trying to date them. It sounds like you must not know many women right now, and it seems that you are almost afraid of women, or at least rejection from women. Part of the problem is that guys who aren’t friends with many women will usually see any and all women as potential girlfriends. Doing this puts a lot of pressure on all your interactions with the opposite sex, and makes any conversation a lot less casual. It’s also cutting you off from a lot of potentially great platonic relationships, and at the very least having more female friends would make you feel more comfortable around women and give you some good insights. Then, when you are ready to approach someone who is a potential girlfriend, it will be easier to tell her.

It’s also important to do what you can to gain a sense of self-worth and value, so that when you approach a woman you will believe that she wants to talk to you. People always say “have confidence” but they never say how. If you start improving the stuff you have control over, like your hobbies, social skills, physical fitness, and grooming, you will gain a sense of accomplishment. And the stuff you have less control over, like your self-confidence and outlook on life, will eventually follow with some more work. The goal is to become a positive, interesting person who wants to share your fun-ness with everyone. You will naturally start drawing people to you, including women. And you could also investigate game theory. It’s best known because of that toolbag Mystery, but there are some much more normal, less visible people who do have good insights about meeting women.