What do you think about Parents not letting their daughters hang out with guys?
I’m a guy, i’ve got friends who are girls and i find it annoying how their parents wont let them hang out with me sometimes. or are more careful and cautious about it o.o
Do they think guys are gonna try something?
I just get over this by saying im gay. But for other guys out there and the girls too, how do you feel about it?
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How old are you?
It’s honestly up to the parents on how they want to raise their children. If they don’t want them to hang out with the opposite sex, well that’s they’re decision about it. A lot of young men, I’m not saying all, but some do try to get with the girls. I’ve known a lot of teens that end up having sex because they think the guy really likes them, but he doesn’t. I’ve also seen a lot of teens get pregnant because of this as well. The girl for whatever reason listens to the guy when he tells her “he loves her” or that “she’s beautiful” and then says it’s okay to have unprotected sex, that the girl “won’t get pregnant”. Well guess what? It happens to a lot of girls, and then they don’t know where they went wrong.
The parents are ultimately trying to protect their children, it’s what parents do. Maybe the parent got pregnant at a young age, or maybe they made some horrible mistakes. Parents want the best for their kids.
It depends on how old you are.
My parents assumed I was involved with every guy I hung out with until I told them they were gay which only half of them were.
Parents are weird, dude.
@chelseababyy
Since when are these guys boyfriends? Girls can make guy friends too ya know? I’m talking about how Parents always think that guys are up to something, when they could just be friends.
@RAWRxRandy How do the parents know what your intentions are? People lie. Especially young ones to get what they want. I know this first hand. They’re just doing what they have to do to keep their kids safe, especially in this day in age.
Believe it or not, parents usually know best. Just wait 20 year or so and you’ll see. Oh my god, I’m old.
I was never allowed out with boys until I was around 16. And even then, my parents had rules about who I went with and how long I was allowed to stay out. I think parents are smart to be careful about letting their daughters hang out with boys. Most guys are interested in more than just a friendship with girls. Parents know that.
I think they’re asking for rebellion.
You did not answer the question of how old you are.
my sister has a 17 year old daughter with a 6 month old baby. they are broke. today, she was over there and told me that the baby daddy was playing video games with about 4 of his friends. these are people that are getting a car repoed, can’t buy milk, milk!!! this is why my daughter cannot hang out with guys yet
Because parents don’t trust their kids, and/or their kids’ friends. Unfortunately for the “good” kids, the “bad” kids cause that lack of trust, which causes parents to be, in some cases, over protective. In the parents’ minds, better to be over protective and have the kids be pissed at them, then to risk pregnancy, rape (statutory or otherwise), or other manner of tragic results.
I think there is a certain age where there has to be a little more supervision when it comes to these friendships. I remember having guy friends when I was in high school but I was rarely allowed to hang out with them outside of school. At least not outside of social gatherings. It’s one thing when you are hanging out with a group of friends then when you are hanging out with just one other individual. I think the main concern is because of the raging hormones during the teen years. Plus, sometimes teenagers don’t make the smartest decisions so their parents have to do their best to guide them through these difficult years.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
The fact that you’re lying about being gay lumps you in with the “bad kids.”
Do a little research on this and you won’t need to wonder.
Puberty, hormone surge, sex drive, obsession.
Parents realize that the best of intentions may not prevent unintended pregnancy. EVERY teen thinks it’s going to happen to someone else. Not me.
Are you asking me or the OP?
I’m old enough to know better, young enough to learn.
Why? What, parents didn’t go through this themselves as teenagers? Of course they did; they were teens once and they know kids get horny and don’ think about consequences, but scratching that itch in the moment. I knew girls on my block who, well let’s just say they’ve got 26, 27 year old kids, and we’re all only about 40. You do the math. Parents are trying to protect their daughters. The daughter is going to be left with the child, and for what? A minute’s worth of an orgasm? Pah!
You’ll all be old enough to be out of your parents’ homes and learning what we did soon enough. And if you’re really looking to be friends, then you can hang out with the girls who are friends at their homes with their parents nearby, right? You’re all only just friends, right?
@April
Amen, preach it sister, preach it.
:)
I was once a teenage boy. I had many friends who were girls. Almost without exception, I would have slept with any/all of them.
When I have a daughter, I will not trust a teenage boy. No matter how much of a “friend” he is. Even if he has no interest in my daughter, it isn’t a chance I’m willing to take.
Life styles such as covering one’s body with tattoo as a result of short sightedness, pretending to enjoy rap coming out of the minds of a group of individuals who lack any musical talent to speak of assisted by a bunch in Madison Ave. who sell riped up jeans to a bunch of empty headed buyers. Committing homosexuality or other irresponsible behaviors. Unproductive social activities which results in pregnancies, drug addictions. I can go on and on. They are all nothing but fads which will eventually pass as hippies and others did in the past. Most of the above are products of improper parenting and leave deep scars on human societies and degrades quality of life for generations to come. As a parent, I would not want not only my daughter but any one in my family to be involved with any of the above. I do not want to be politically correct.
@Buttonstc hehe makes me think of ‘i know why the caged bird flies’ sweet
I think it freaken sucks!
I am not even allowed to have guy friends. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. Try convincing them to go with more girls, I understand why they wouldn’t let you guys go alone. And who would even think about getting it on with one of your frien….okay nevermind, not the best example… Why don’t you just tell them you’re gay, they might change their minds.
“Committing homosexuality or other irresponsible behaviors.” WTF does that mean? Someone GA’d this answer?
Parents want to hold on to the illusion of control as long as possible. Doing so often alienates them from their own children. I also think parents who tend to have absolutes for their children are insecure about their own parenting skills, and do not trust their child to do the “right thing”; how could they when they have not been given the skills to know the difference between a good and a bad choice?
When I was a child, parents were expected to monitor their children’s behavior until the children turned 18. We were encouraged to be with boys in groups, such as church activities and family outings.
When my sons were growing up, they had girls over to the house, but there was no ‘hanging out’ in unsupervised places, until their late teens.
I think parents who prevent their girls from hanging out with guys will have many more problems than they want. They probably did all the things they don’t want their kids to do, and instead of squarely facing it all, having honest and educational conversations with their daughters, they try and prevent any contact at all. This rarely works. So, more trouble ensues.
To parent and discipline are not the same thing. Parenting is a skill that develops constantly. It requires love, total commitment, patience. As a parent first of all one should not expect any thing from a child which is done by themselves such as drinking, watching demeaning shows or programs. Never going anywhere that you would not want your child to go. Letting your child to have alternatives which will enhance their lives. Letting them realize the difference between working at a fast food industry all their lives and the benefits of achieving Doctoral degrees and useful to their environment.
Once you get past food and shelter, the next priority for a (hetero) male is women. Plain and simple. We want that boom-boom, and badly. Very badly. We want it so badly we can lose our fucking minds while in the heat of the moment to the point of doing some Really Stupid Shit. Now, I consider myself an extremely cautious person. Extremely. Yet I have had unprotected sex with strangers, unprotected sex with women I knew weren’t on the pill. Did I want an std? Of course not. A child with someone I wasn’t married to? Hell no. Then why did I do it? Motherfucking hormones that are responsible for this minor phenomenon known as the drive to propagate the species. The drive that would end the human race if it didn’t exist. Kind of a big thing when you think about it, eh? The point being no matter how nice, proper, respectful or responsible a guy may be, there is always a decent chance that a guy hanging with a girl, whether they are “just friends” or not, will fuck her if given the slightest chance. How does this chance arise? Well the first step is generally that they are alone together….
Out of all the many female friends I’ve had in my life, there has been only one that I wouldn’t have fucked if given the chance. That is why parents, people that have been through it all already, who also happen to be the people that love you the most in this world can, sometimes, have reservations about their child hanging out with just one other person who happens to be of the opposite sex.
Some shit like that, anyway.
Most often, profanity proves a lot of room for improvement.
@nitemer Well then, it’s a good thing I chose “boom-boom” rather than “pussy” like I had originally written!
Hormones can make any teen lose their mind and inhibitions if an opportunity presents itself. Smart parents know this and try to help their kids by keeping them away from said opportunities.
@FutureMemory I do not think you really had to. It would do very little to soften the character you are trying to portray.
@nitemer Profanity sometimes is very necessary to give off a certain vibe and really make an impression. @FutureMemory You did a fine job! I lurve your posts :)
Yeah. Lurve to Future Memory.
I said essentially the same. He just put it far more memorably than my little factoid. It needs to be said. Congrats to him for putting it bluntly and undeniably.
A month or so ago I actually started a thread about profanity, specifically how I would like to stop using it, that I often feel it gives a bad impression and can simply be unpleasant to be subjected to etc. So on the whole I actually agree with you, but please don’t act as if you know anything about my character or what I may or may not be “trying” to portray, because you do not know me and I doubt you have read any of my other posts. If you do, I must warn you there are plenty of shits, fucks, asshole, motherfucker and lots of other words you may find objectionable.
Now with that said, welcome to Fluther.
@FutureMemory Just remember if you keep doing this, I am going to wash your mouth with soap and water and ground you for a week. I do not want you to play with Buttonstc and ItalianPrincess any more.
@nitemer Well fine then! I don’t want to play with you either! <<<Sticks out tongue and crosses arms>>>
@nitemer Next thing you know you’ll be chasing after my black van that keeps circling your residence.
Good night to all. Past 1AM (bed time)
@RAWRxRandy Hello. do i think guys are going to try something? Of course, unless they are gay :-) Yes because they are guys, especially teenagers with their hormones What do I think about parents not letting their daughters hang out with guys, I think although it is their choice, it is not too effective. Kids, teenagers especially try to and do find ways around their parents rules, telling them not to hang out with guys isn’t going to stop them from having sex.
@RAWRxRandy I will allow my daughters to hang out with guys, probably even stay the night like I was allowed to, which i didn’t have sex til I was 16, been having guy friends stay the night at my house since I was 9 or 10.
@justme1 So you KNOW that teenagers are going to do it anyway, but you’re not going to try to prevent it as much as you can by letting them spend the night with them?
Gold star in parenting goes to the future you.
I have a bad habit of not reading an entire thread before writing my answer. If I had read all of this bullshit first, I would have written something about 5x longer than I did, and it would have made my original version look like a monologue by Mr. Rogers.
Nitemer, can you PM me the phone # of the local NSDAP chapter you belong to? They need to have their minds washed out with soap and a permanent grounding.
@rangerr No I am not, I will make sure they know all the associated risks and protect themselves, I had guys staying the night the at my house since I was 10 and didnt have sex until I was 16
@justme1 Informing a child of all the risks involved with sex doesn’t stop them from doing it. Hormones are very persuasive. My parents warned me of potential risks at a young age. Did I care? Nope. The only thing that kept me from having sex all the time was the fact that my parents didn’t allow me to be alone with boys. And they definitely weren’t allowed to sleep over at the age of 10! For the safety and welfare of your future children, I hope you wait a very long time before getting pregnant. You still have a lot
of growing up to do if you honestly think that letting your children make their own decisions at the age of 10 is the best thing for them.
I am all for ‘committing homosexuality’
just wanted to say that first
Anywho, people believe what they believe – it’s not fair
all guys shouldn’t be lumped together
@ItalianPrincess1217 I have got two things to say, I am not going to try to make them not have sex until they are an adult. They will be taught it is best to wait like I did until it is with someone they love, because that is what it is about, an expression of love.
Also seeing as in a PM you ask me a question, then tell me not to have an association with you, and when I answer your question you call me a troll and tell me I was harassing avooo when I wasn’t, then say no more further conversations about this, I don’t like set ups, and would prefer that if I can’t respond to that without the risk of being told I was asked not to, please unless you have something nice to say don’t do what I feel is antagonization here by telling me for the welfare of my children I should wait a long time, you don’t know me and everyon who does know we are going to make wonderful parents who raise our children in the most loving home possible.
@justme1 That was the longest run-on sentence ever. I’m exhausted just from reading that. Feel free to raise your kids however you see fit. But don’t be shocked when your 14 year old comes home pregnant one day due to lack of supervision. Giving a child too much freedom at too young of an age is asking for problems. Most kids cannot be trusted to make adult decisions on their own. That’s why children need parents. That’s why the legal voting age is 18. That’s why you can’t drink until age 21. Kids need guidance, supervision, and discipline. If you think having talks about sex will prevent them for doing it, you’re naive. Read all the previous posts about the adults that admit to being constantly tempted by sex as a teen. You think their parents didn’t have talks with them? But hey, you do what you feel is right. Maybe you’ll give birth to the one child in the world that actually listens to their parent’s sex advice.
As far as any personal conflict we have, that has nothing to do with this post. I simply asked you not to pm me anymore. But trying to avoid me on Fluther discussions will be nearly impossible. So get used to it sister.
@ItalianPrincess1217 Please show me a link to the information you stated showing that talking to your children will not help prevent them from having sex.
@justme1 No link is necessary. It’s common knowledge. It may give them a heads up as far as safe sex but not completely keep them for having sex. Especially if they are free to do whatever they want. I was a good kid but if my parents allowed me to go out with boys at a young age without adult supervision, I would have taken advantage of that. Most kids would. And you also have to be aware that teen boys have raging hormones. Do you really want your daughter in a room alone with those boys? Maybe she can handle herself and say no to peer pressure but what if the boy doesn’t take no for an answer? It’s not always about not trusting your child. Sometimes you have to think about the kind of dangerous and uncomfortable situations you may be putting her in by allowing too much freedom.
@justme1 You can talk to your kids all you want, but it doesn’t mean they’ll listen.
@ItalianPrincess1217 We will think about that. However I am not trying to keep them from having sex, we are trying to teach them that the best thing is to wait until they are with someone they know loves them and that they love. If she wants to be alone with them, yes they deserve that. Our kids will know they can talk to us about anything, no judgement, we will listen and give the best advice possible. If they don’t feel comfortable they can tell us and we can tell the guy friend and take it on us to make sure they aren’t alone together.
@chelseababyy You are right, they won’t always listen. However I have seen my husband talk with kids before many times, they listen to him because he doesn’t treat them as a less smart, or someone who doesn’t know, he treats them as if they are one of us, an equal being. Children like that a lot, being treated like they are a real person, not a “child”
@justme1 Isn’t your husband a convicted sex offender?
@justme1 Not all parents treat their children as if they’re “less smart”. However they are children.
Sure they can have responsibilities and what not, but it doesn’t mean they should have free reign. Lots of times kids and teens don’t know what they really want. They’re pressured by others to do things, but do they really want to? Maybe not. They may just be doing it to fit in.
@Poser he was convicted of indecent exposure, (not sexual in any way) and has to register as a sex offender. what does that have to do with this thread?
@chelseababyy Including their parents pressure, and a lot of times they can’t tell their parents how they feel because their parents wont listen to them, because as you said they are children. I don’t want our children to have pressure from us, we want them to have an open honest relationship where they know we are the ones who will listen and wont tell them stupid crap that makes no sense, and no pressure.
@justme1 So let me get this straight. You aren’t trying to keep them from having sex. You only want them to wait until they found someone they “love” and who “loves” them back. Right? So if your daughter is 12 and thinks she’s found love, (which many kids do claim to know what love is at age 12) you will allow her to have sex? Wow. And that is why you should need a license to have kids.
@justme1 You know that a lot of parents are open with their children right? Even then, even having such an open relationship, kids will do as they please. Hence why you need to set the ground rules.
“I don’t want our children to have pressure from us, we want them to have an open honest relationship where they know we are the ones who will listen and wont tell them stupid crap that makes no sense, and no pressure.”
So you’re saying that most parents tell their kids “stupid crap that makes no sense”? You need a reality check, dear.
I’ll just leave this here.
And this.
justme/us/meagain/1/ 2/ 3-
Just stop talking. With all of your personalities. We aren’t going to change our minds, and you’re just going to ramble and change your reasoning every ten seconds. Just stop.
@rangerr well it’s not like those are average stories
@Simone_De_Beauvoir How do you know? Tons of kids get pregnant daily, it’s just that not everyone advertises it.
No. But I bet their parents didn’t think that it would happen.
My point is, SHIT HAPPENS. Whether or not you teach your kids about this, they are going to do it.
Why give them a higher chance of it happening?
@chelseababyy I suppose I don’t know – neither do you about how it ‘happens daily’...that aside, I think you guys are all ganging up on just me1/2 whatever…it doesn’t sound like she would be an irresponsible parent…I agree with being open with my children…I agree with teaching them responsibility but physically keeping teenagers apart in your house doesn’t mean they won’t be having sex…it’s a lot more important to educate, imo
@ItalianPrincess1217 well these are unfortunate findings and I’m sure these are kids of parents who didn’t let them have sex either…point is these are kids of all sorts of parents and it can happen to your kids too
Look. I was a peer mediator at the intermediate school here for three years. My senior year, there were 4 pregnant girls at that school.
Intermediate school for us is 5th and 6th graders.
I understand leaving them alone for a while, but for God’s sake, don’t leave them together all night.
I figured out how to have sex in my room, with the door unlocked and my mom checking in on us periodically.
It’s going to happen one way or another.
@Poser yes i thought we just spoke a few hours ago and i told you that on a different thread but i guess you dont remember by the way that info was pertinenet to the prior thread i dont understand what or why that matters here but if you feel the need to repeat it ok.
Now back nto this thread, i dont think that it is wrong for boys to hang out with girls and even be best friends. why would you want to staimie what could become a great friendship @RAWRxRandy has stated that he has no sexual desires for this girl and just likes here as a friend. although it is a general consensus that all males have only one thing on there minds. that is not really true my first time was when i was 18 as a kid i had lots of both girl and guy friends that would come to our house and stay the night.we were told about sex and explained how everything works most of my life. but i did not have sex until i was ready. maybe we should realize that children although young actually do have brains and if you teach them to use them correctly they may surprise you.
@ItalianPrincess1217 sounds as though the only thing that will work for your children are chassidy belts good luck with that
@rangerr I agree with you – maybe I misread but it didn’t seem like justme1/2whatever was talking about really young children…maybe I’m of a different opinion in this regard…but if my teenagers needed a place to have sex, safely…I wouldn’t mind them doing it in our house, in their room…provided it was all discussed normally
@Simone De Beauvoir I agree that it can happen to any kid whether they have been under proper parental supervision or not. Some kids will sneak around and do it anyway. But my point is, why allow them to be in those situations? At least try to prevent it!
@Simone_De_Beauvoir We’re not “ganging up” on him/her. We’re just stating our opinions.
Was my mom open with me about sex? Yes. Very much so. We were very much able to talk with each other about these things.
Was I allowed to hang out with the opposite sex? Yep!
Did I listen to everything my mom said even though she was very open with me? No.
Did I end up getting pregnant at a young age? Yes.
Did I tell my mom? No. My ex and I decided a baby was not for us and that I was too young.
Learning about that first hand helped me be more responsible, however it was the most horrible experience in my life.
I know how it can be.
@chelseababyy well you certainly have experience with this situation – my teenagehood sounds a lot like yours and I didn’t get pregnant…what are we to glean from this? random chance can always make you get pregnant even if you do it once at 21 with your husband
@Simone_De_Beauvoir That’s true. However I got pregnant because I was pressured by my boyfriend to have sex with him, unprotected. It was stupid but he told me if I loved him I would do it. This happens everyday.
@justme2 No. My children will be supervised until they are old enough to date, be alone with guys, and hopefully make responsible choices. I can tell you right now that age probably will not be at 9 or 10 as you previously stated.
@justme1 (First, let me just say that your two usernames are far too confusing, and the mods ought to address it). If you were my daughter, I would be extremely disappointed in your decisions. Congrats on your choice not to have sex until you were “ready.” I was ready to have sex far before I was responsible enough to handle the potential consequences. But your profile states that you are a 19 year old girl who married a sex-offender more than twice your age. You say that you will allow your children to have sex whenever they want. I’m sorry, these choices are the very soul of irresponsibility and poor judgment.
I’m not trying to be judgmental, just point out how your comments come across.
@Poser Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth and putting it together so nicely in a post :) You said everything I was thinking. I lurve you <3
no, you’re right..this is not ganging up…yeah
We have the same opinion on this.
Sue us.
And seriously.
Use one username.
How haven’t you been asked about that?
I’m not ganging up on anyone. I feel the way I feel and if others also feel the same, then so be it.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Thank You. At least one person here understands what I am saying, if you look at my first post on this question, all I did was answer his question.
Obviously my choice of spouses is one of the reasons why they are ganging up on me
@rangerr Justme1= me ( female in relationship ) justme2= my husband ( male in relationship )
I never said allow them to have sex whenever they want, please read what I say. I see it all the time like on Maury, teen is pregnant and the parents are yelling at them ” I told you not to have sex ! ) see how that worked out for them…..
I have had guy friends stay night at my house since I was 9 or 10 ( at that age sex wasn’t at all on my mind ) and waited til I was 16.
children should be allowed to have friends of the opposite gender, they are friends , I see no problem here.
no where in my profile does it state my husbands legal status
Please tell me you’re not bringing MAURY into this. Really? And you trust that show? WHAT!?
@justme1 @justme2 I apologize for assuming you were one and the same person…I assumed this based on what others were saying
@justme1 Then you need to specify that somewhere. The 34254434 accounts you/“husband” have are quite confusing.
Maury isn’t the real world. That helps you none.
I never said that children shouldn’t be able to have friends of the opposite sex.. It’s the spending the night that I’m questioning.
I can feel my blood pressure rising. I think I need a break from @justme1/2 (WTF??) and all this nonsense. It’s not even worth it.
@rangerr So what about a girl has her guy friend over til 10pm, her bedtime, what is the point of sending him home if it is time to go to sleep anyway?
@justme1 For every example Maury provides of a pregnant child whose parents told them not to have sex, I can provide an example of a pregnant child whose “parents treated [them] like they are a real person, not a ’“child,’”—to quote you.
I got your husband’s legal status from a separate post. The fact that it isn’t in your profile is irrelevant. Based on the way you describe him, and his answers on this thread (and the fact that he married a child himself), I have to question your assertion that his conviction was not of a sexual nature. You have shown a history of questionable judgment.
@rangerr and @ItalianPrincess1217 Thank you both.
@justme1 Because they can sleep in their own beds. Why would they need to spend the night if there is going to be a bedtime?
@justme1 Because that’s the right thing to do at a certain age. Just because he’s there ‘til her bedtime doesn’t mean he can stay. And if this girl has a “bed time” is she really old enough to be having guys over?
@rangerr Way to state my point before I finish writing. Psh.
I know when I was a younger teenager I went to bed about 10–11 or so to get up and get to school on time usually.
I only used Maury just trying to state that you can think that telling teens not to have sex will stop them, or keeping them from guys, but as you guys state yourself teens find ways around things. Why not just make sure they are educated and maybe they will make educated decisions…...
since when did 19 become a “child”
@Poser there is no reason to make assumptions where they are not necessary…nineteen is not a ‘child’
Yes but you said “bed time”. So did you have a “bed time” or you just went to bed at a certain time? Clarify please. They’re two completely different things.
And like you stated:
“I only used Maury just trying to state that you can think that telling teens not to have sex will stop them, or keeping them from guys, but as you guys state yourself teens find ways around things”
Same thing goes for telling kids to practice safe sex. You can tell your kids to do it, but they’re not always going to listen. They’re going to find a way around things no matter what you tell them.
We never said that telling teens to not have sex will stop them.
Chelseababyy and I both gave examples of times when we didn’t listen.
@chelseababyy sorry, I meant a normal time that a teen goes to bed for school, not a set bedtime by the parents.
Yes they are going to find a way around things, so why risk them finding a way around having not having sex, and doing it with no education or knowledge, why not educate them and let them make their decision educated as possible…....
@justme1 We’re not saying anything like that. Like I said, I listened to my mom and talked with her very openly. I had the knowledge and education about things. I was highly educated. However that didn’t stop me from having unprotected sex because I thought my ex “truly loved me”.
By the way, I’m a pretty smart chick. However, my decisions were based on pressure and because I thought I was in love. Nothing anyone could have said would have changed that.
justme1 is a “child” because she demonstrates the judgment of childhood. 19 is a child compared to a 45 year old man.
@chelseababyy I am not saying it doesn’t happen, I am saying they are going to do it anyway, why not provide a safe environment and educate them in the process so that if they decide to they have a better chance of being protected…..rather than going out behind your back and doing it.
That’s fine. Educating them is good. They might or might not listen.
What we have been saying is that it is ridiculous to give them more time especially overnight to find ways around it.
I was allowed to have my boyfriend overnight once and that was because it had snowed so badly that I refused to let him drive home.
I’d let my kids have opposite sex friends overnight in situations like that, or in groups. But not one-on-one.
@Poser our ages and whether I am a child or not as you say is irrevelant to the thread here. I am a grown adult.
@rangerr that is your decision, mine will be to allow them to have the same freedoms I did with this topic
@justme1 Please read my last answer once again. I had a safe environment that was also full of knowledge and education. I still did what I wanted to behind my mothers back. You’re quite naive.
@justme1 No, and the reason for that is because I had younger siblings. To do that in a house with young children is wrong to me. Even if she would have allowed me to, I wouldn’t. I respect my family too much. I had no locks on my doors, what if my 4 year old brother or 10 year old sister just happened to walk in?
However my ex’s mom did, and that’s where we did it.
@chelseababyy Well a 4 yr old would have had no idea what was going on, a 10 yr old would have needed to be talked with later on about it…....
I understand that, so you did it where it was allowed but wouldn’t allow it yourself?
@justme1 SO YOU THINK THAT’S RIGHT? BECAUSE THAT IS SO NOT TRUE. Just because he’s 4 and he doesn’t “know what’s going on” doesn’t make it right. A child should NOT witness that. Neither should a ten year old. Your reasoning is absolutely ridiculous.
I did it where it was allowed which was at my ex’s house. I wouldn’t do it in a house full of children.
I didn’t say do it in front of them, and I said I understand your reason. I was talking about the fact that sometimes things do happen and kids do walk in on people having sex or see it….
@justme1 But you should PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING AT ALL COSTS. Having sex in a room with no lock in a house full of kids is irresponsible.
Oh my gosh, i’ve started a huge debate one this…
But don’t we all agree that if we teach our children about sex, safe sex, and all that related to it and set an age limit (16 being the ok choice) to when it should be acceptable to be having it they should be more careful. it takes a lot on the parents part to show the importance of safe sex and how careful you should be, but the child should be mature enough to understand too. So both parent and child should be in it together and reguralry talk about it in an open relationship. My parents have never talked about it to me which i find really stupid, but i found out myself and i’m pretty mature for my age so i just got lucky.
@justme1 Yes, things happen and children can run in on their parents but as children ourselves it’s more awkward… Would you really want to have sex with everyone else in the house (Parents, brothers, sisters)?
@chelseababyy that’s why i have sex in the back of my super awesome space-ship.
< Wants to have sex in a space ship.
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@ItalianPrincess1217 This is true. I just get really angry when people think it’s okay for small children to walk in because “they don’t know what’s going on”. Thanks for being such a sweetheart. <3 you!
@chelseababyy I totally agree. It’s disturbing that anyone would think having sex in a home that has small children in it is ok! It’s not.
Since no sex is absolutely safe, parents who tell their kids it’s okay to have “safe sex,” should not complain when they end up raising or financially supporting their grandchildren. Never mind the fact that creating boundaries, and ensuring that children understand the consequences of violating those boundaries is what separates a parent from someone such as @justme1, who is simply “playing house.”
i read justme1’s responses and never saw where she says its ok to have sex in front of children she said that IF a child should walk in and see and i believe that it has happened at least once before, somewhere, than you should talk to them and let them know that is what mommies and daddies do when they love each other
@ItalianPrincess1217 its a wonder with your opinion that any families have more than 1 child. i guess they make more in the garage
Why are the exact same typing styles present in two “different” users?
I was conceived in a barn.
Just sayin’
@rangerr is that a no on the space-ship?
@Dr_C I didn’t see that response! Yes. Only if we can go to Pluto.
but you two must take the me’s with you! please!
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All are welcome on the sexy space voyage
@ItalianPrincess1217 Thank you for the link. It suggests having open honest conversations with your children about sex, not one time, and not one sided lecture. Let them ask questions, and answer them honestly based on experience. It gives a lot of good advice, basicly communicate with your children about everything about sex, which is what I have been saying here is to be open and honest. Educate them about sex, I am pretty sure that is what I have said earlier on in this thread…....
@justme1 Yes it does encourage being open and talking with children about sex but keep reading. It also mentions how they need explanations and guidance on what love really is because kids at young ages can’t determine that on their own. Honestly I’m done debating with someone as close-minded as you. We have all tried our hardest to get you to understand the risks of allowing a young girl to have sleepovers with boys but you refuse to listen. So good luck with raising your future children.
it’s not the young children at the sleepovers that scares me most
@ItalianPrincess1217 my husband and I have sex with our children in the apartment…they’re sleeping, of course…but is that problematic to you as well? and please do remember that all you think about sex is just an opinion
My dad told me I could never be alone in a car with a guy until I was 16, and old enough to throw him out and drive my self home. I listened and obeyed. Kids are listening to you a lot more than you think they are. You have to talk, yes, but you have to be ready to step in and send them physically in different directions too, as needed.
@skfinkel I agree with you. Make it forbidden fruit and turn your daughters into sneaks instead of having reasonable rules and adult conversations. It’s lazy.
@Silhouette
You wanna be a lazy parent? Then your daughter WILL end up sneaking around. You want that happening?
@RAWRxRandy What are you talking about? Huh? Huh? What? lol
@Silhouette You totally just reminded me of Dory from Finding Nemo when she forgot Marlyn was following her XD
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