How do you tell a girl she has bad breath?

Offer her a mint.

Not a solution.

Say ‘listen I notice sometimes you have bad breath – sometimes that’s a sign that there’s a medical issue…I want you to be okay and wanted you to know’

She may feel uncomfortable and insulted for a few moments, but by telling her directly (always the best policy) you may change her life for the better.

Perhaps she has some dental issues or you two just don’t click chemically.

Hey just wanted to let you know you have bad breath.

@Sabotage82: Yet again not a solution.

yikes, that’s no fun. I think @Simone_De_Beauvoir and @gailcalled have the best answer. Good luck to you.

There’s definitely some dental issue, or tonsillitis. Other people notice it too. I just don’t know how to tell her that she has a problem, and it might make her want to break up. I guess I should just tell her.

Perhaps, she has tonsil stones.

I just know how I would feel. How would you feel if someone told you that you really smell, and you know that person won’t kiss you. I would feel terrible.

jmah Yes. That could be it.

Well, yes, that’s the hardest thing, isn’t it. They do need to know because, I for one, would want to know if my fly was unzipped, or had a booger hanging out. I would be embarrassed at the moment but glad I could fix the problem….Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir it could be a sign of a medical issue, or it could simply be a diet heavy in onions or garlic, or it could be simple hygiene….she needs to floss regularly, as well as brush her teeth twice a day, and rinse with a mouth wash. You just gotta find a way to tell her, man.

I had a friend whose breath sometimes was strong enough to stop a horse. I flat out told him, and he’d start brushing his teeth twice a day, and flossing, there would be a vast improvement for about a week…but then he’d always let it go by the wayside. He hadn’t gone to the dentist in a long, long time, and I’ll never forget, when he did, for a cleaning, he said, “Wow! I can feel the ridges in my teeth!”
I looked at him like he was nuts.
He said, ”....Can you always feel the ridges in your teeth?”
“Yes,” I said.

You need to tell her. She may get pissy and break up with you, but if she doesn’t fix it, you guys are going to break up anyway and at least you will have done her a favor.

O! Write her a letter!

There is a good possibility she has tooth decay and/or gum disease which will cause bad breath even after brushing her teeth. Or she could have bad reflux which could cause bad breath. Or she could like to eat food such as garlic or curry which causes bad breath even after brushing your teeth. So, I’d first rule out dietary causes, then go for dental issues next if she doesn’t complain of stomach pain or indigestion.

Telling her in a gentle, concerned way is the caring thing to do. Not only could this be a dental or medical concern (and gum disease has been linked to cardiac health), it can also hurt her regarding employment in addition to social issues.

You might want to start by saying something like, “Sweetheart, when was the last time you’ve gone to the dentist? This is embarrassing for both of us and you know I wouldn’t hurt your feelings for the world, but you really need to have a dental check up.”

If she doesn’t have dental insurance & can’t afford dental care, I’m sure there are resources that can be found online or a local dental clinic where she might be able to make sliding scale payments.

If she is a “dental phobe” reassure her that you’ll go with her & hold her hand.

Afterward, rather than wanting to break up with you, I’m sure she’ll appreciate your supporting her.

Thanks for the answers. Yes, I think I’ll just tell her like that, BraveWarrior. Writing a letter might make it easier for her, but I think the right thing is to have a face to face conversation. I’ll talk to her tomorrow night.

Thank you for the answers all!

I thought I’d have another account for this question.

@oratio I just wanted to add that bad breath that doesn’t go away after brushing could be because of bacteria growth in her mouth. It doesn’t go away because brushing your teeth doesn’t kill any bacteria. If she starts using listerine or some other antibacterial mouthwash, it might help before she has to go to a doctor.

Yes, definitely rule out hygiene first, especially if she doesn’t have insurance.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes…

In high school, I told a girlfriend that she had breath issues (dragon breath), to wit she met up with me later, with a pack of Cherry Lifesavers in-hand…sexy!

@sndfreQ You know, so many people think that chewing gum, etc. helps bad breath. It doesn’t. What it DOES do is deposits a film of sugar on the teeth which….rots.

Talk to her about it, and do it fast, before you’re together for much longer. I think it’ll hurt her less if you wait until you’re more involved. Just be gentle, concerned, kind, and attentive. She may already know, but either way, she’ll probably be embarrassed, so just be considerate and she’ll be as appreciative. Tell her that you’re concerned about her health and your relationship.

You are right. It’s still very new and fragile, and I don’t know what this will do, but she’ll be more hurt if I wait.

We are going to see each other tomorrow night and make dinner together. I am thinking we’ll cook, talk and I’ll bring it up.

Next time you’re up in ‘er grill, ask: “Baby, did you have S.O.S. for lunch?”

text her… (not via facebook)... I don’t know is kind of… I don’t know, werid situation :s

@flameboi, oh yeah, that reminds me – there’s an online service that will call/text her for you anonymously.

@gailcalled I am sorry you disagree. But sometimes the truth @#$%ing hurts.

Wow.

I have come to the conclusion that some people are just not kiss-conscious. I am the type of person that actually GETS OUT OF BED when I am with someone in the morning to brush my teeth and spray breath spray. I carry mints when I am going out with someone.

If she is dieting or skinny or anorexic…she may be in ketosis and that automatically produces bad, bad breath. She may be so used to it, she is unaware.

I would get an email account (at the local library or college) and anonymously email her.
Or borrow a friend’s phone and text her:

“Mildred, you have bad breath. This is not a joke text. You really do have bad breath and you need to be made aware of this. Please carry some mints and use mouthwash. Signed, St Dentafrice” Keep sending variants of this message if she still won’t heed it.

I don’t think telling a new girlfriend directly is very nice. After a year, it’s fine…but it it’s a new relationship….SHE WILL BE MORTIFIED.

Anonymous works best.

@DarlingRhadamanthus I think you might be transferring some of your own issues with bad breath ..not everyone would be mortified

@DarlingRhadamanthus Again, mints and mouthwash alone will not help, in the least,if it’s a hygiene problem. If a person brushes their teeth every morning, and every evening, and flosses at least every other day, they won’t need breath mints and mouthwash. All mints and gum do is mix another smell in with the bad, and before long, actually contribute to making the smell worse. It’s like…trying to cover up the smell of cat pee with air freshener, instead of cleaning up the pee.

@Simone de Beauvoir…..Since you are French, an intellectual (and dead) you may know more about bad breath than I would….But honestly, you mean to tell me you never kissed Sartre and wished he had flossed? :)

@Val I agree, okay? Sheesh….but it’s better than nothing….you can text her and say, “Hey, GO SEE A DENTIST.” I floss, and still use both. You’re right. Some people just don’t use anything.

@DarlingRhadamanthus I kiss my Sartre without getting up to brush my teeth first

@Sabotage82: Of course there are some painful truths, but you can choose to use courteous and unobjectionable language in order to soften the blow.

Start carrying gum/mints with you, just as habit. Start slow; every time you remember the tin in your pocket, have piece or something. At first you might not even be offering it to anyone else. As time goes by, it will sorta become your thing; you’re the guy who carries gum. That’s when you start offering it to other people (i.e. her). Maybe not the quickest solution, but I guarantee it will negate any and all possibilities of awkward accusations.

@Foolaholic Uhhh….she may never, ever get the hint, tho. Especially if she’s one of those that thinks chewing gum can actually take the place of brushing and flossing….

@Val123

At this point, you might not even be trying to send the hint. Just solving the problem for her.

@Foolaholic Gum won’t solve the problem. Not by a long shot. It’ll just make it worse.

I had to tell my husband this. I told him he should see a dentist. He saw a dentist and ended up needing something done to his gums (debridement). So, it’s probably a medical issue that can easily be solved.
I had to be mean about it to get him to see a dentist, but you probably won’t have that issue.

@Val123

So do you think this is something worse? I once had trouble with bad breath. I saw my doctor, and he discovered Tonsil Stones. They’re little deposits of mucus and bacteria that sit on your tonsils and stink. They’re not hard to get rid of; my dentist suggested a salt water gargle, or if you don’t mind sticking a short q-tip down your throat you can swab them out yourself. But of course, this is all assuming she still have her tonsils.

Have the two of you hung out enough where she’s seen you floss and brush between meals or when you’re not feeling “fresh”? I believe in showing by example what you enjoy and want from your partner. If she’s coming over to cook then there’s a great opportunity for you to greet her at the door, grab and quickly kiss her then excuse yourself to go brush. Smile and be lighthearted but say how you drive yourself nuts when your breath is bad. Most women don’t want to feel out hygiened by a guys so my bet is she’ll think you’re a bit quirky but if she likes you a lot then she might start upping her dental care.

Here’s the website @stratman37 mentioned where they will contact someone anonymously and tell the they have bad breath.
Here’s the sample letter they send:

Dear __________________,

We recently received a message from someone very close to you who asked us to send you this note. They thought you may need some help with a problem that affects millions of people all over the world. That issue is bad breath.

Many people falsely believe that bad breath is due to a lack of proper oral hygiene. This is absolutely not true. Bad breath is typically caused by bacteria that lives on everyone’s tongue and throat surfaces (and tonsils if they are present). When this bacteria multiplies beyond our body’s natural ability to keep it in check, the result is chronic bad breath.

The great news about bad breath is that, with the latest advances in oral care, it is easily and affordably treatable. I have personally helped hundreds of thousands of people in over 70 countries to say goodbye to this embarrassing problem and finally breathe with confidence. Many of my previous patients were completely unaware that they even had a problem until someone who cared sent them a friendly note like this one. Please don’t be embarrassed. It’s practically impossible to detect your own bad breath! (It’s a quirk of the brain called acclimation, which prevents you from judging your own breath).

To help you learn about effective solutions for your particular problem, I recommend you take our very easy ON-LINE ORAL CARE EVALUATION. It is a short yes/no survey that is meant to highlight potential problem areas that can often lead to bad breath, gum disease, and other oral care issues. Based on your responses, we can give you customized tips and recommendations to solve your breath problem. Your personalized evaluation is automated, completely private, and absolutely free!

CLICK HERE to receive a personalized on-line evaluation. It is FREE and only takes a few minutes.

Thank you for taking the time to read this note. Again, please do not be offended by this email. It is meant to inform you that there is a simple way to get rid of a troubling problem.
Sincerely,

Dr. Harold Katz,
Inventor of the TheraBreath System
Director, California Breath Clinics

@hungryhungryhortence Good job in ” ‘Splain’ how to think like a woman, 101!’”

My boyfriend had this problem and I didn’t know how to address it. One night we were in the bathroom brushing our teeth together and I told him my best friend, a hygentist said to always brush your tongue as you could get a disease called “black hairy tongue.” He started brushing his tongue and that cured his bad breath over night.

@sawyergirl Did you make “black hairy tongue” up??!!! I mean, I know it’s important to brush your tongue, but….“Black hairy tongue” as a formal medical diagnosis? LOL!

Sometimes bad breath comes from not drinking enough water.

I started seeing a guy a few years ago who had terrible breath. I ended up breaking up with him due to being unable to feel comfortable being intimate with him (as his breath was that off putting).

It is certainly something, for me, that can make or break a new relationship. I hope it all works out for you and that she is able to get help without being overly sensitive when being approached by you about it.

@val Yeppers link

@Judi

I’m with Judi….professional and to the point and anon.

@SimoneDeeBee….lol! :) Liked your retort.

@Foolaholic No, I don’t think it’s “worse…” I think it’s probably hygene.

@Judi Big problem with form letter. The opening sentence: “Someone close to you…” won’t fly! He’d know in a heartbeat who that someone was! I would rather it was worded in such a way that it could come from a co-worker, or a customer, or….just anyone, close to them or not!

@sawyergirl OMG!!! That is so totally GROSS!!! frow up. ... I wonder if Harry, in “Harry and the Hendersons,” had Black Hairy Tongue syndrome!

I think it was George Carlin that said “Marge, I’ve seen bad breath, but you could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon!”

I’m with @Val123: Anonymity is the coward’s way out (particularly since she’ll know.) Just tell her.

I can remember, when I was dating a lot, that occasionally I would meet a guy who simply smelled odd and off-putting to me. They all are now happily married to a chemically compatible woman, I guess. Pheromones?

@filmfann If you’ve been in a relationship fer…a while, it’s different. For example, when I spend several hours outside, doing yard work, I can “smell” that my breath is bad. For a while I wasn’t sure if it was real, or just me, but when I was several months PG with my first, I’d been doing just that, working in the yard, and PG to boot, and after I came inside my husband of five years said, “Val. I love you, but your breath could kill a horse!” Me, just a glare, and to my toothbrush I went!

This situation is a bit more tricky. He’d like to continue dating her but…..

@Val123 He’d like to continue dating her butt? Maybe the smell isn’t her breath.
Try peppermints. They are good for the digestion.

@filmfann Shit! I meant (and you know it!) he’d like to continue dating her but her breath may preclude that! Now, I shan’t be speaking to you for at LEAST five minutes!!!

How come ‘purpose’ became ‘oratio?

Tell her fruits and vegetables are vital. Also, ask her what would she do if suddenly your breath smelled like crap? Besides, love is sometimes scolding the other person, think the greater good! (That is, if a breath that smells nice is a greater good).

@faye I didn’t want to have this question in my fluther. She’s familiar with this site. I could have done it better, sorry about that. I deleted the account.

@oratio no bothers, just curious

@belakyre you said, “love is sometimes scolding the other person,” after you’ve been together for a long time, yes. But you don’t commence to scolding someone within the first few weeks of a relationship!