How do I get my money without getting someone in trouble with the law?

It is now in the hands of the law.

Forget about it. I guess you can hope that you both continue to be nice to one another.

If he’s willing to pay for all the damages, I wouldn’t mention the accident to your insurance company if he’s able to do it in a timely manner and get your car up and running again.

Although I hate to say it, it’s a really bad idea not to go through the normal process for this sort of thing. There is a lot of room for trouble, even if the guy has the best intentions.

I agree with @RocketSquid. He could con you-conmen are always charming! It’s a sad commentary but true. A truck backed into me in a parking lot and crumpled my hood a little. He said he’d see to it. Time went by and nothing so I went to my insurance company. When I told her the name of the young man, she said , “Just a minute” and left the cubicle. When she came back she assured me my car would be fixed immediately without insurance-It was her son!! And it was fixed.

baseball bat + knees = money.
I love math

Is the guy willing to pay for all the damages? If so then have him write you a check and be done with it. If not, I would absolutely inform the insurance company. This is the reason it’s the law to have insurance. You may feel guilty but it’s not your fault that he was driving illegally. He either needs to pay up or face the consequences.

Especially if a third car is involved, I think you really have no choice. Let the insurance company do their job. Can you ask the opinion of one of the attorneys you work with?

I’m not sure I understand the issue. If he’s willing to pay you then why report it at all? Your car will be fixed right? I have a feeling I’m missing something

I already reported it to my insurance co.

It sounds like he is willing to pay but doesn’t have the money. Is this the case? Are you willing to work out a payment plan with him? If so, have him sign an agreement and be sure to clarify the consequences of missing a payment (involving the law).

Your insurance company may report it, though.

If you already notified the insurance company, it is no longer your choice. It is between the insurance company and the other driver. They have an obligation to report him to the authorities.

Here’s my take on trying to “help” someone who breaks the law. “Every time we turn our heads the other way when we see the law flouted, when we tolerate what we know to be wrong, when we close our eyes and ears to the corrupt because we are too busy or too frightened, when we fail to speak up and speak out, we strike a blow against freedom and decency and justice.” Robert F Kennedy

I care more about people than the law. Decency? Whatever.

@tinyfaery Right, we should just do away with every law, because they just hurt people. Of course, you would be out of a job, but who needs lawyers, anyway?

That’s exactly what I meant, not. <<rolling my eyes now>>

@YARNLADY Law does not equal things like decency, freedom, and justice. In fact, humans give up a portion of their individual freedoms in order to live in a society. Laws are merely the terms under which we live together in a society. There is no essential ethical dimension to laws themselves. As Beccaria says (he is the guy that most judicial systems base their precepts on), “Human or political justice, being nothing but a relation between an action and the varying state of society, can vary according to how necessary or useful that action is to society” (On Crimes and Punishments, 5).

i am wondering if the car that you were pushed into (see i have a good memory) if that owner’s insurance company is going to go after you to fix their car. i am aware that it was in no way your fault because you were pushed by the guy who hit you, but the other insurance company might not see it that way (i know in NY, which is the state i live in, the insurance company of the car you were pushed into would be pursuing you for the damages, and then your insurance company would get reimbursed from the insurance company of the guy that hit you). i assume the car that you were pushed into has reported it to their insurance, and so you want to make sure that your premiums will not go up and make sure that you are not going to suffer financially in any way from hitting that car.

i also understand that the guy that hit you is being nice, he has no reason not to be nice and kiss your ass, because he wants something from you, namely he wants you to do him a favor and not tell any authorities about him breaking the law.

i think you are putting yourself in a position where the guy could very well just disappear and you will have no recourse, no matter who you work for or how powerful they are.

you have nothing to lose by just asking these questions of your insurance agent. they can’t make you report anything you don’t want to.

I notified my insurance company, but I have yet to hear back. I am not liable for the damage to the car in front of me because we were both stopped.

We’ll see…

that’s good. please post and let us know how it turns out. i hope you are paid and there are no hassles.

@YARNLADY People choose not to file charges against others all the time, which is essentially the same thing as what is being discussed here. They are getting away with breaking the law and often for crimes much more serious than not having insurance on their cars.

It is not @tinyfaery‘s responsibility to make sure he complies with the law.

@wildpotato @Supacase The quote I used is a basic concept that was stated in a speech by Robert F. Kennedy, which expresses in more eloquent words than I can the fact that looking the other way is, in fact, condoning lawlessness. It is everyone’s responsibility to do everything in our power to uphold the laws of society. I have already had a discussion about this with my question “Should people pick and choose the laws they want to obey” in which way too many people stated that they can and do. To me, that is appalling.

I got a message from my rep. She said that the insurance co. will recoup their payout from him. I have to pay my deductible and if he pays them, then they refund my deductible.

Let’s leave it at that. Shall we?

@tinyfaery thanks for the update. The philosophy of the choices will remain for another day, another question.