What kind of alone time do you need?

I like to be alone for a few days, or if I am around other people I wish to be left alone without any talking.

I’m not a complete recluse, I do like going out with people fairly often ;) But every now and again, I just want to be completely alone, because I like being alone :)

I normally just spend my time on the computer or watching tv shows during that time!

Being an extrovert, I don’t need much alone time. In general, I don’t like being alone. I mean, I don’t want to be with someone all the time, but I don’t need days of it. I like to spend time with people every day. I’m just a social person in general and it’s what I like. Of course, I’m alone right now on the computer, listening to music, reading my linguistics textbook and it’s fine. I need alone time when I need to focus and do work or if I just want to relax and listen to music or write or be on Fluther or something. But in general, I don’t need much; being around people, talking to people, laughing with people; that’s what I like the most. I’ve grown up around a big family, lots of friends, I’m rarely alone. It’s just how I work.

I also enjoy very much being alone with my boyfriend.

I need me-and-my-dog time a lot. It’s very therapeutic.

I’ve always spent a lot of time alone and I find that regardless of how crazy I am about someone, I definitely need a night or two a week to collect my thoughts, clean my house, zone out, go for walks, or indulge in mindless projects. Sometimes, I just want peace, silence and an ability to focus on myself.

I also have a highly stressful job with people pulling at me and making demands, every day, all day. Sometimes I just need to come home from the craziness and decompress. Sometimes this involves staring at a wall, watching mindless television, reading a bunch of magazines or undertaking some kind of beauty routine. I find time alone really therapeutic and mind-clearing and think it makes me function better in a relationship.

I had a functioning relationship with my ex-SO because he was a surveyer for natural gas so was away more than he was at home. Now the oil crash and me off work, no it didn’t work. I thought the alone time with my ex-husband worked fine. He loved sports and watched them on his tv and I watched my stuff on my tv[little black and white-just didn’t die]and other evenings we’d watch something together. As I get older I need more time for me. I still have needs from my children so it’s even more important. I love late at night or early in the morning, warm in my bed with a book or a movie- no need to get up to make breakfast or feel guilty for not getting up if I’m sore.

I’m pretty sure I’ve had enough alone time to last me the rest of my life. And I can comfortably say that I don’t need any more for at least several years.

I live with my SO and therefore I appreciate any alone time I can get. Not that I don’t like spending time with him but I’m a college student and I find him to be a distraction when I’m trying to study sometimes. I don’t need days of alone time (I think that would drive me nuts), I just need a few hours a day to study and stay focused. Plus, I think it’s healthy for everybody to take some time to think about things and just relax.

I have my alone time during the day while my s/o is at work and then again at night after he goes to sleep. That’s plenty enough for me. I enjoy that time but anymore and I would start to get lonely.

When it comes to being around anyone else (friends or family) for more than a few hours I start to feel like I need to step away from the situation and just breathe. It can be overwhelming to constantly be entertaining someone else. Once they finally leave is when I most appreciate alone time. It allows me to calm down after all the chaos.

I can’t handle being around more than a handful of people for more than three or four hours at a time. The more people there are, and the less I know them, the shorter the amount of time I can spend with them becomes.

On the other hand, I can very happily spend days and days physically alone, never speaking aloud, and only communicating electronically.

Much more than average. I retreat to the back of the cave and venture out only to hunt prey and gather fuel for the fire.

I need less than what I’m getting.

That would be good then?

No.

My roommate left for three weeks this morning. I love her and she is one of my best friends in the world.

But when I came home to an empty house, I felt exhilarated. Having the house to myself for the next three weeks is my vacation.

@daloon It sounds like you should spend some quality time with Thoreau! In a cabin in the woods.

I love the combination of rain, nature, and alone time. When I’m alone, I don’t just sit around idle. I like to do something productive like crafting, painting, baking, teaching myself new songs on guitar, or studying. I would love to take a vacation all by myself so I could do these things. Usually my ideal length of time would be 2–4 days, but I never get that much.

I get plenty. I’m a stay-at-home mom.

I would love a weekend (at least) to spend with my SO in a tent in the back country. A case of beer, a blunt, some oatmeal cookies, a few pillows and a change of panties. heaven!

@loser do you feel family is putting pressure on you? Say none of my business if you want.

I live alone, so a majority of my time is spent on my own. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I see my friends everyday at school, work, and when we go out, but when I go home I have the whole place to myself. I find that alone time is great for clearing my head and relaxing. I’m in college, where most people have several roommates living in somewhat cramped quarters, all on different schedules, up at all hours of the night, etc. I’m an introverted person, so that would be a terrible situation for me.

That being said, I’m not sure I like the idea of separate domiciles from one’s SO. I think the important thing about finding your SO is finding someone who you can truly be yourself with, thus eliminating the need for separate living arrangements.

None.

@Haleth No, I don’t think I would have liked Thoreau’s little patch of woods and pond. I like more obvious drama in my nature. And I particularly like water that moves a lot. I get lost in watching that water—like a meditation, and if I let myself, I think I could watch for hours. At the same time, there’s the sound of the water—moving water, anyway.

These things—water movements and sounds are chaotic, and my mind is constantly seeking patterns that don’t exist. Somehow that engages my non-verbal mind and pushes aside my verbal mind.

I can move into that non-verbal state with people, if we are engaged in a ritual that helps us do that. It’s not the same as doing it on your own, of course. With people, you still have to pay a different kind of attention—it’s more active, even if they are engaged in a chaotic/patterned activity (such as improvisational music or dance).

Alone, there is more inner calmness. You don’t have to worry about personal relationships. You only have relationships with non-human nature. It is quieter, for one thing. It is easier to still yourself. You don’t have to worry about your curiosity about what others are doing. You don’t have to fight to not compare yourself to others, because there’s no one around to compare yourself to.

Right now, for me, that would be such a relief. At other times in my life I would have hated it. I think the alone time thing is situational for most of us, although some seem to have a fairly stable pattern.

Now, having said all of that about the distraction of nattering others, I can also imagine myself off, alone together with my woman. It could be nice to have company up on the cliff, silent, maybe touching a knee or leaning together, feeling each others warmth. It would be a different kind of aloneness—one that would feel both alone and connected at the same time. There is something magical about a connected silence. I grounds you in both worlds at the same time. Or so I imagine.

A boatload. I’m an only child and have always enjoyed being alone. I’m not shy by any means (I teach and have spoken in front of hundreds of people numerous times) – o just enjoy my alone time. As someone else said above, it’s theraputic.

This is a challenge, however, as my wife and daughter hate to be alone and are always looking for me to be with them. They would actually be offended if I said I needed a day or two alone.

So I get it in bits and pieces. Driving to work, late at night (like now), etc.

I go to the beach, spa and movies alone. I love me.

Lots. I’m pretty independent, and for the most part, people just piss me off.

Like me in my room A LOT when Im just on my computer for hours.

A better question for me would be, “How much time do you need around people?”