How close is your family?

I live about 10k miles away from anyone in my family, I’m all alone :p

But I skype my parents alot on web cam ;) When I am in the same country visiting, normally my whole family gathers, everyone is pretty close by.

My family is very close. My immediate family, that is. (Not that we’re not close to cousins and such, but I’m stressing immediate family in this. I’m close to certain cousins and aunts and uncles and others I feel like I barely know. My cousin Aninka in Russia is actually one of the ones I’m most close to, which might not make sense, but it’s true). I’ve also always been close to my family. We love going on trips together, eating together, even watching TV together, and being at our house together. As I mentioned in the other thread, it’s what I’ve grown up around so I’m used to it. I’m used to having them always there and wanting them there, which is part of the reason why homesickness hit me so hard at the beginning of college.

Now, obviously, I haven’t had much experience being separated from my family. Only a few months, actually. I don’t know how things will change once us kids are all grown up. But for now and in the past, we have always been close.

I’m very close to my immediate family. My extended family not so much. Our holiday gatherings are usually just my immediate family and sometimes some cousins and aunts come along. I see my immediate family on a regular basis. I guess it’s mostly because I only live a couple miles away. I would hate to be far away from them again.

I haven’t talked to my mother in years.

My father and I usually talk every couple months, but he didn’t call me for Thanksgiving or for my birthday. So maybe he’s done with that.

My sister and I talk every few weeks, and we met up on my coast a few months ago.

I try to get back to the east coast to see my aunts and uncles and cousins once a year or so. Sometimes weddings or funerals or babies being born makes that happen more frequently.

Although most of my family lives within a one mile radius of each other, you wouldn’t know it. They hardly ever see each other and family parties are always packed with drama. My mother and I moved about 40 minutes away from them years ago to avoid being involved in the drama. It still haunts us every so often much not nearly as much.

Currently my family is allowing my cousin’s crazy prositute girlfriend to rip our family apart and cause tons of tension. I’m disappointed that they haven’t stuck by each other’s sides. It’s opened my eyes to a lot. I’m very thankful to be so close with my mother. We talk everyday and she lives only minutes down the road. We have both decided that all we need is one another to be happy. The rest of our family brings us down in a big way. Sounds awful but it’s true. And sometimes you have to cut out the negetive people in your life. So we only really see them a few times a year for holidays. It’s sad but necessary.

I dont know what close means. I know what I see in other families and I know what I wish it was but it is not. My parents are not able to understand that I am a person seperate from them. It puzzles them when I dont know things that they know because they have no idea that I cant read their minds, I dont understand their motives from the inside out I only see what I get and got. We stand together in the same space and laugh and smile – and scream and shout. We like to know when good things are happening with each other – less so the bad things. We are all indiviuals who exsist seperatly but together. We want to be close but none of us know how so we hurt in our confusion of mixed messages and frustrations when things are not the way we want them. I ache for closeness and a sense of really truely being loved in an emotional sense – I know logically they love me but none of us can function in any other part of our selves other then our heads. Without a sense of closeness deep pain is felt by all but we are guarding our own inner worlds and dont know how to let each other pass beyond a practical sense of belonging. The pain comes from standing close and not knowing how to reach out and into the very people who you are supposed to trust and love. The absence of that is louder then the jokes and laughter we use to mask the pain and emptyness underneath it all. (Sorry what a depressing answer!)

Wow…really close. I buried my father next to my mother and just besides my sister and brother. It was a busy holiday that year.

@zookeeny I am sorry. And then to tell my story after that doesn’t seem right, but here goes. I used to have a huge extended family, aunts and uncles, cousins everywhere. We all showed up at Grandma’s house for their anniversaries and it was 2 in a twin bed , blankets on the floors, open up the attic-we had such fun. After they passed, my cousin married an Australian so their trips to Red Deer meant lots of family coming for huge potluck dinners. Now, I fear, there’s not so many of us left.

My family isn’t that close. I don’t have any first cousins, and all of my distant cousins live out of the area, so it’s just me, my siblings, parents, grandparents, and an unmarried aunt and uncle. I’m very close with my aunt and my maternal grandmother- I’m living with them right now, and we all really like the situation. My sister and I aren’t so close with my dad’s side of the family. He and my stepmom are really involved in raising my half siblings, to the point that all they do is soccer practice, ballet, clipping coupons, working, etc. They have dinner with my grandparents and see them every few days or so, but my sister and I are in our early 20s, and we really only get together with them on birthdays or holidays. I think we’ll have more in common once my sister and I have grown up into adult-like people with careers and families of our own.

My son and 2 daughters and my daughter in law are pretty much fun on our own. We’re going to make Turduken for xmas- group effort!

@SeventhSense :( Thats awful.

@SeventhSense that’s a hard road you had to travel. Does it mean there is only you? my parents are dead and my brother died. I sure miss my brother.

@ItalianPrincess1217
Well ya it was a cold December. You ever try digging in frozen dirt? It’s backbreaking. The good thing it was so peaceful back at the homestead…chestnusts roasting on an open fire,,da da dee—~_~

I’m not just close with my immediate family, but my extended family as well. The brother born right after me is pretty much my best friend, and I’m pretty tight with the other two as well (one much more than the other, though). I have a great aunt that lives in the same building as me, who I see at least twice weekly. Her daughter visits us at least 3 times a week, along with her two children. Her husband comes over most Saturday nights for dinner. We see my great aunt’s son and his wife and daughter pretty frequently as well. My mother’s sister lives a few blocks away, and she comes over once a week. I get along well with her son and youngest daughter.

To be honest, I’m kinda sick of my relatives.

My mother can’t live without them, though. She speaks to her sister, brother, aunt and cousin and uncle EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I don’t exaggerate when I say that if they miss a day of speaking to each other, they assume something is wrong.

There were 7 years between me and my brother and 7 years between him and my oldest brother so we were never very close. Actually my oldest brother was a vicious violent drunk and I pretty much hated him. The other brother was like just some guy who lived in the house with us. But I got along very well with his wife when he married. His older kids were more like siblings to me than my brother ever was and the younger ones felt like my own. When they divorced it seems it all started to fall apart. Then my mom died in 81 and that really took its toll on the togetherness. My dad died in 92 and that was it. I hardly ever saw my brother after that. Then 2 of his kids died and that was really it. I moved here in 99 and have never looked back. I don’t think I will go back to USA again.

So I am always sort of bemused when people talk about family is everything and all that. I have my mate and my dogs and that seems to be enough for me. My mate has a big family but he is sort of a loner too. When we move we will be closer to his kids and perhaps family will have a bigger place in our life???

I’m very close with my immediate family on my mom’s side.I talk to my mother and grandma several times daily. My sister and I are very close, we hanf out as much as possible. I spend lots of time with my aunt and youngest cousin. We used to do more with dad’s family but after my grandparents died 10 years ago we haven’t had a get together. I’ve talked to a cousin or an aunt here and there and we keep saying we should organize a reunion but we never do.I love my family and love being near them. My husband got a good job offer about 3 hours away and decided not to take it because he knew we would all be miserable away from the family.

I am an only child and both my parents are also only children. Their parents are dead (I never had a chance to meet any grandparents as they died before I was born). I grew up in London, came to the US when I was 18 to attend college. My parents are still in London; they abhor America and have only been to visit once, when I graduated college. I’ve gone to see them several times over the years but the last visit was five years ago. I’ve only spoken to my mother a few times since then (the last visit home I finally decided to tell them I am a lesbian; it did not sit well with either of them and my father hasn’t spoken to me since).

Other than my husband and daughter, I am really only close to my parents and my maternal grandparents. Closest to my grandma. My family isn’t big on showing affection – there are few “I love you’s” or hugs. Both of my parents are only children, so there are no cousins. I don’t keep in close contact with my biological father or half-siblings.

I am close to my step-father (they have been married for 30 years), but not his parents. They have always made it clear that I am not truly one of their grandchildren even though my step-dad adopted me when I was 5. In fact, my grandmother told my husband’s grandfather while standing in my house that she has one grandson and one granddaughter – the granddaughter would be my step-sister, not me. That was pretty much the end of me trying.

Have never been close to my step-sister (she is 7 years older) or step-brother (he is 10 years older) or their children. I probably would be close to my step-brother and his family if they lived closer, but they are 500 miles away and we rarely see them.

I’m rather close to my immediate family – technically, they live in another city, but we still email a lot, and they come to town often enough.

I’m Chinese, so we have regular family dinners that involve the ENTIRE family (but only on my dad’s side). So for the Chinese holidays, grandparents’ birthdays, we’ll all get together and everyone will chat amongst themselves. As much as I complain about it, it’s still a nice way to keep in touch with everyone.

my family is a mess, we can’t be in the same room without someone yelling at each other or someone crying. my mom was a drunk my father was in the airforce so my mom would leave me for days at a time when i was a child so i learned to do for myself and just spent my time in school and hanging with friends i have never bonded with my mother at all but that saying that you are a better gradmother than a mother is so true kinda like she is trying to make up lost time for not being there for me me as a child but i still love he my dad is the grumpiest man ever but also one of the smartest i have ever encounterd. my brother drinks and smokes pot my sister in law treats him like a stray dog. it goes on and on but what’s life without a little disfunction? plus to my dad i’m still a failure eventough i’m in school and i work and married to a wonderful man. so i like it. life wouldn’t be the same with a normal boring family right?

We are all very close and have always got on well!!

All my family is very close, we are always there for each other when the times are tough.

We have historically had no problem getting together but over time it has becoming increasingly difficult and there is emotional distance between some siblings. I have always felt like an observer at a play but now it seems that the principal actors are not even showing up. If it all falls apart that may not be necessarily a bad thing. Maybe we can all get together outside of the theater of the absurd. The whole thing makes me sad. It’s like a lame tragedy.

all within a 10 minute drive ;)
yes, we have plenty of family gatherings and everyone turns up :) we’re close

We are very close. We live less than 2 miles from each other, our kids have grown up in the same neighborhood and attended the same schools. When the children were little, we babysat for each other. None of our children have ever been left with a sitter we were not related to.

Ok you bare assed flutherite. I’ll answer the question.

My mother has always maintained this well intentioned but at this point seriously warped desire to have everyone get together. Through her first marriage second marriage and after her last one left her widowed one thing has remained constant and that is a desire to be Donna fucking Reed in a 1950’s fantasy. I guess me and my two brothers should be “My Three Sons” and my poor sister the flying Fucking nun but it just hasn’t worked out that way. My two brothers don’t even talk to each other and have little babies that don’t even see each other. One just had a baby last month that the other one has yet to see. My sister has children that she can not even care for due to her addiction/alcoholism.

I’m sorry but it’s just more and more of a clusterfuck every year to imagine that there can ever be a Hallmark moment. As for my moms bless her codependent heart she still tries to get people together by sending a gift to one brother saying that maybe he could drop it off at the others house.so manipulative. I don’t go for any of it anymore. I am single and yet I find myself having to deal with marriages, and children and baggage that I can’t handle. That’s the main difference between me and the rest of my family. I am selfish because I don’t have children and would not want to bring a child into a situation which was less than ideal. In my mind it’s not selfish but selfless but I guess that’s just crazy wisdom.

Deep down we always loved each other and I think that’s still the case. It’s just got more confusing with all these extended families and spouse egos etc. Every year I detach more and more for my own sanity. I just don’t know. My mother has been relentless about trying to make some perfect experience which has yet to happen in my 42 years. She’ll be visiting in a week with my niece and nephew (her kids my sister’s kids her kids). There will be the same ignoring, the same underlying level of animosity and tension and everyone will pretend that everything is fine. Yes FINE.
F.ucked up I.nsecure N.eurotic and E.motional
Hopefully there won’t be fruitcake.

my family isnt close at all, most of us live in the same state but we cant stand each other. i dont like them at all because they are bigoted,narrow-minded,self-centered religious hypocrites. the men hate women and anyone of color, oh and fat people; and the women believe as the men want them to believe. it makes me sick. they hate me because i refuse to put up with their BS and i am opposite of everything they are. i refuse to be around them, i would rather pull my own fingernails out with pliers…