how can one not be jealous. . .?

Depends what it is exactly that you’re jealous of about the opposite sex. Some things can be remedied surgically…

haha no that’s not quite it

I’m afraid I may be reading into your question and response wrong-could you be a bit clearer here? Are you male or female? Please a bit more context here-FYI I’m a man-so pls forgive the lack of intuition…

I agree with everyone else here, what are you even talking about?

Evan, just realize that the grass is always greener on the other side. Females may seem to have it easier from our perspective but they also have challenges we are not fully aware of like hormones. In time you may find many other jealousies, like wanting to be older or younger, or shorter, they just get in the way of realizing your own value to yourself and those around you.

Self confidence.

i’m male.. hence why one of the tags is “girls” ; D

i just feel like i can be so fickle and i really hate it and also be jealous over someone that i have no right to be jealous over. sorry i wasn’t clearer in my question.

thanks @ ironhiway for your response.

ishotthesheriff, the impression I’m getting is that you might benefit from work on your ability to see things from other people’s perspectives, which might help you both to ask and to answer this question. Do you see that you’re still not being clear, and you’re assuming other people will figure out what you’re thinking? Seems similar to what I think you are asking, but then, I’m having to guess what you are asking.

Are you asking, “How can I let go of being jealous of boyfriends of women whom I’m attracted to but have no relationship with?”?

Jealousey is a green eyed monster that lives within you and it will eat your insides out if you don’t learn to control it. I will not say this will work. For me, it was to look at the positive side of it. I was the one with the woman, not some one else. She went home with me, not someone else. Look at what you have going there and be happy with it. Most of jealousy is caused by not haveing faith within your own self thus not being able to have faith in anyone around you. Jealousy is your fault, not someone elses.

or is it the other gender: “How can I let go of being jealous of girlfriends of men that I am attracted to that are straight?”

And you feel you have no right to feel this way because they’re into a different lifestyle than you?

Feel free to confirm/deny/clue us in here, just trying to help…

no i’m not homosexual.

thanks @ charlie and zaku

Zen meditation. For a few minutes a day focus on nothing, and experience just sitting without the filter of the ego.

Realize that you are not an entity by yourself, but rather part of the interconnectedness of all things. Read “Zen Keys” by Thich Nhat Hanh and “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” by Suzuki roshi.

Conquer the ego. It is the source of all negative emotions. The ego wants nothing to do with you feeling happy, content,
blissful or any positive emotions. That is why you don’t understand why you are feeling the destructive emotion of jealousy with no apparent cause. Be vigilant. The
ego is ruthless. It feeds on misery. Yours first and then through others. Your true self does not feel jelousy since it knows that other peoples success is your own success while the ego understand this as well. Jelousy is a conflict creator. Jelousy is a devider.

I have here in my town a freind that is a nice woman but is insanely jealous of any man she is with ( not me). She has little going for her as for build, looks, etc. but she is a very nice person and has a heart of gold yet is insanely jealous of her male freind. I think for her it is the fear of loseing him as she has lost many others. But the jealousy hurts him as it does her own self because He feels she doubts him when she need not do so. I feel that if she goes on with this that she will drive him away and I wouldn’t blame him. But it comes down to haveing trust in him and faith in herself that He does Love only her. Right?

@Charlie: Depends, but yes I’ve seen and experienced the “overly jealous / suspicious partner creates needless problems which undermines trust and happiness and can lead to breakup” scenario.

Then you have just answered your own question. It is not an easy thing to do. It is very hard to release a jealous feeling yet it is up to that person to realize that it is ones own insecurity that causes this. I’m not an expert on this but I, too, had a time when I had to deal with it. My answer was to myself that No one is better then myself because no one knows me better then I.
Hope this helps.

The subconscious is where the ego mostly operates from as it contains a treasure trove of information suitable to construct a ‘covert campaign’ to bring misery,pain,rejection,separation,isolation,
etc.
Your friend is unaware that she is sabotaging the relationship which will end very soon which will leave her miserable while confirming within herself once again that she is undeserving of a relationship that can bring her joy. Of course in the meantime the ’ covert campaign ’ was a success as the ego has a very strict diet & can only digest misery & pain.