How do you get rid of a friend that visits but stays too long?

I would try to never let him in my house again. Kinder would be to go out for coffee and talk it over.

What a pain! I would stop inviting him over. If he drops by uninvited, tell him that he’s welcome to stay but you have to be working or something, and do whatever it is that you had to get done. And tell him that you like seeing him, but he is overstaying his welcome. Maybe he just doesn’t realize that he’s being an inconvenience.

I think if he ever comes by again, you WILL have to ask him to leave. Some people just don’t get the point unless it is blatantly shoved in their faces. You have either show some backbone or don’t invite him in the house again. (Don’t his parents worry about him?)

It’s handy to have some “dynamic range” in your ability to talk straight to people. Being nice and polite and politically correct has it’s place, of course. And sometimes you really need to bring out the bullhorn and deliver your message with nukes attached. But in between those extremes there are all sorts of variations, and the more of those notes you can hit, the more appropriate your response will be to someone who isn’t getting the message.

So “firm but respectful” might be the right note in this case, something like “I need to have my space back now. Can I help you get your things together?”. If that doesn’t work, “Firm, with an edge” is the next step up… “You need to leave. I don’t want to be rude, but you’re not really understanding my situation here”. ... And so forth.

Sounds like more of a user than a friend, It could be he has nowhere else to go? I’d suggest talking to him but by the sound of it he probably knows already he’s just pushing his luck.
Maybe he just wants to be with or around you? is he like this with others?
Cant you get your partner / hubby to have a word with him?
Is he possibly a bit smitten or lovesick with you?

Good Luck.

Is his home life horrible?

He sounds a bit scarey. If he comes over again say to him “its good to see you but Im only free for an hour as I have lots of bits and bobs to do.” When an hour is up say “not being rude but Im going to have to ask you to go so I can get on with the stuff Ive got to do.” No matter what he suggests after that just say “no sorry (eg you cant just sit on the coach and watch tv while I do my stuff) I need to be getting on.” Be firm and start walking towards to front door open it and stand there until he gets the message to go out of it!

Wood chipper.

This has happened to me before. I think only once. It was a coworker and her teenaged daughter, who came over to spend an afternoon embossing greeting cards. Not only did she overstay her welcome, but she has a very loud laugh. After a few hours, it got pretty old. I remember looking up at the ceiling, and wondering the same thing… how am I going to get her to leave??

This was 13 years ago, so while I don’t remember exactly how it was she finally left, I do know I never did invite her over again. We went on to do other stuff together, but my solution was to always meet at a café, etc. from then on to avoid any uncomfortable situations in my home again.

Once I resorted to “I promised my friend I would drop by in a half hour, so I’ll take you home on the way” and then took him home in my car, ran a couple of errands and went home.

Be open and honest and firm and tell him (before you allow him in to your home again) that he has to go when you ask him to. If he doesn’t abide by this, then don’t let him in again. It is disrespectful and selfish of him to ignore you. Not the type of friend one would need to have.

Stop bathing.

I honestly don’t know. I am reading all the answers to learn something. I have had the same similar situation which got to the point of just walking in and not knocking. I had to begin locking the door and that didn’t work as I hear the attempt to open first before knocking. Argh. Keep sharing everyone because I, too, am learning. Thank you for asking mellow_girl.

It’s simple. You say, “It is time to go.”

It is ridiculous how people will allow themselves to become uncomfortable or virtual prisoners in their own home. Your house is your refuge. Don’t let somebody else come in and piss on your territory,

What I will do is either say, I’m going to bed now, goodnight (if its at night), or if during the day, I’ll say I’m getting ready to leave or have stuff to do. Either way, I’ll thank them for stopping by, will call them later, etc. That usually gives the clue without hurting feelings.

Be kind and talk in your normal un nervous voice but tell him ahead of time he is welcome but you hope he doesn’t mind if you ask him to leave by such and such hour so you can keep to your sleep or whatever schedule.

My friend uses the line, “I’m going to kick you out now.” It seems to work!

Just tell him your nana lives with you and she tends to get naked after 8 pm,if he does not mind he’s welcome to stay.

@Pretty_Lilly: Now there’s a scary thought!

yes it is, lol…

What would be even more scary,is if he decides to stay and takes out one dollar bills!!

Invite them to take a bath with you:)

@Sir_Mikey , um no thanks. that’s scary…

I’d just stand up and say when it’s time for her or him to leave that I’d like to go to bed,or whatever may be now,so can you please go.Thanks.That should take care of it,I hope.