How important is chivalry to you?

I’ve long ago accepted that most men aren’t chivalrous, so I don’t consider it important, but I have to admit that it’s nice to see the guy make an effort and go through all that. They’re like bonus points.

Every time a see a fair damsel, I feel the urge to protect her from dragons.

I really don’t think it’s important. I’m not impressed by roses and opening doors, any fool can do that.

It’s a lot harder to hold a successful and interesting conversation with me, and to keep me interested. If a guy can do that, I’m impressed. I couldn’t care less if he opens doors and gives flowers or not.

However, I do care if a man helps me into a seat. I hate that. I’m not a baby. I’ve had my butt for 18 years now, and I’ve sat down on it quite a few times. I’ve also had a bit of experience with chairs. If a man thinks I need help putting my butt into a chair, I’m instantly over him.

It’s not essential. There are more important things to consider, but there’s just something about a chivalrous man that sets my heart to fluttering. ;-)

I would prefer just to be a respected equal. That would make me feel the best. It’s nice having someone open doors, etc. for you .. but if I had to choose, I’d rather just be respected for being me.

I am a knight. It is tres important to us.

I’ve gone on some dates with guys who were serious about chivalry but ended up being stalkers or otherwise had major issues. Most younger guys nowadays weren’t raised to be chivalrous, or they were raised on chivalry lite, like paying for a meal sometimes but not opening a door. A young guy who wants to do more traditional chivalrous things usually has to take the initiative himself to start acting this way, and maybe a certain type who is already very traditional or romantic is drawn to it. Guys who are old enough to have been raised when everyone was chivalrous can be very gracious and gentlemanly about all this and make it into not such a big deal. The younger guys I’ve met who were very chivalrous always managed to somehow make me feel very uncomfortable, or often made inappropriately grand gestures early on.

I know I haven’t exactly answered the question. I think it’s better that it should go both ways; both men and women should just try to be polite and helpful toward each other.

As a bloke – I am a wee bit old fashioned and will hold doors open, give up my seat, give flowers etc, BUT in a 2000’s sort of way I also expect women to do the same. girls can be chivalrous too you know! and theres nothing nice about getting a door shut in your fizzog! so it’s only polite regardless.
Ladies generally like a bit of romance mixed in with brute manliness and hunter-gatherer-ness so finding a balance is also a good thing. Doesnt always work though.
But it’s all about being nice, respecting people, Hell, I’ll even hold a door open for a fellow man-thing! Unless he was hideous of course!
:0)

I think that mutual respect between men and women would cover everything that is necessary.

I was raised to hold doors for people, and to offer my seat to another. I show up on a first date with flowers. These are things I do without thinking. There are others that I do, but I must think about: lighting a cigarette for a lady, opening a car door well our car door only opens from the inside, so I open it, but do not hold it open The latter are important to me, because I need to think of them. The former are just manners.

If someone holds a door open for me because I’m just a couple of steps behind them, I appreciate it. If someone holds a door open for me because I have tits, it pisses me off.

However, I try not to make assumptions about why people are doing these little chivalrous things because it also pisses me off when the visibly handicapped give me an attitude for lending a hand in such ways. I’m not holding the door for you just because you’re using a cane or whatever; I’m doing it because you’re a fellow human being and I’m nice, fucker.

Fun story:
Once, I held a door open for a guy who was probably about twice my age (I was in my early 20s) and he looked completely shocked. “I’ve never had a lady hold a door for me before!” he said. I laughed and told him, “Well, you still haven’t.” His thoroughly confused look made my day.

It is very important to me! A lot of people say that chivalry is dead, I think it is dying, but there are so many men out there who love to spoil the women in their lives, and do the little things that make an amazing first impression. I guess there is a fine line, and I think it must be very difficult for men now to know what to do and what not to do (given some feminist sentiment around). I like it though and I most definitely appreciate it.

@MacBean – “I’m nice, fucker!” deserves to be a T-shirt!

People being decent and courteous to each other. That’s the key for me.

Flowers and opening doors and standing up when I approach and so on are nice gestures, but what I really want to see is how your treat the staff at the restaurant. Are you kind to them? If someone inadvertently steps on your foot, are you grousing about it 10 minutes later? If the stop light hasn’t changed as quickly as you’d like, are you grinding your teeth?

Guys were giving me big clues as to what they were like outside of the chivalrous behaviors towards me, and I learned so enough to ignore them at my peril.

Some handicapped people feel a little patronized when people are quick to offer assistance, and that is because they are both underestimated and undervalued. I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t offer to assist. I do know that my girlfriend (who, as most of you know, is blind) prefers that people ask her if she needs any help, rather than, as sometimes happens, rush in and destabilize her and her dog, who are generally managing just fine.

Everyone should be chivalrous!

@aprilsimnel: I’ve always thought it’d make a great tee/bumper sticker/etc. It’s pretty much me, in a nutshell. :D

I like it very much! :)