If you could go back and make amends with someone, would you?

no, the bridge has been burned and can’t be rebuilt.

I recently have and it was successful.

I can’t think of anyone I’d like to do that with.

I really, really wish I could. My heart aches over it every day.

Oh, yes, many someones, but we just have to live and learn.

There is one person with whom I was close during college. We drifted apart, unfortunately, and I think a lot of that was because of misunderstandings. I miss her friendship. I don’t think “going back” would work because we’d still be who we were at that time. I think we’d be able to look back objectively now however, and resolve whatever problems there were. Only problem is I haven’t been able to locate her.

Honestly…no. if I am going to make amends, I do it in a timely fashion. If making amends meant going back any length of time, it would mean I had no desire to make amends in the first place. Thank goodness I can only think of one or two that would apply to.

Like a bridge, it’s hard to go back, when it’s broken BUT I believe there are other ways to your destination! Stop what you have done; it ain’t working. Do something you haven’t done. Don’t build a bridge, just use another mode.

I’m with @Jade on this. I’m quick to make amends when I want to. So far, it’s always worked out, so there’s nobody I wish I could make up with right now. Maybe someday… But not at the moment.

Edit: Huh. Check out Jade’s name. I guess formatting trumps linking!

No and I’d never attempt to if I also want to cause great bodily harm to them.

Yes, I would at least try . There is nothing sadder than losing a friend/ acquaintance to misunderstanding.

I wouldn’t do it. It it’s over, that means I have tried my hardest. I don’t look back.

I’d like to, but I don’t think it’s possible. I created too much havoc on the former site in my various incarnations, some of them deliberately nasty and insulting. All I can do is resolve not to do it any more.

Maybe. Maybe not. I think people leave and come into our lives for reasons. They’re probably out of my life for a good reason.

All things have purpose.

I may not have been particularly “skillful” relating with someone at one time or other, but had we not related in that particular way, I may not have learned whatever lesson or gained whatever understanding I obtained form relating with that person the way I did.

Someone who I was once very good friends with ended our friendship a few years ago. It hurt me a lot at the time and I missed her friendship for a while. She recently sent me an email to try and reach out to me and I ignored it. I realised that I no longer wanted her friendship because she had dropped me so easily and I don’t want anyone in my life who comes and goes when it pleases them.

This is so tough. I have one person I’d like to make amends with in that I feel badly for hurting them deeply but I’m not sure I’d want to have the relationship itself back. I guess I’d like that I’d handled the split more gently and constructively. To change anything more would negate what I have now which excites me in ways I’ve not trusted in several years.

Years ago, I betrayed the trust of a friend without realizing I had done it. He drifted away from me because of my betrayal and I drifted away from him because of silly things I was mad at him about. I only found out much later on that he felt betrayed. I didn’t speak to him for a number of years, but when I was going through my therapy for anxiety, I decided to get in contact with all of my old friends, and make amends where necessary. I called this old friend and he was very nice about it. He considered it old news and didn’t care about it anymore. We never ended up talking again, but he seemed sincere about his forgiveness and it certainly made me feel better.

I had an incident with a girl from college as well, who I contacted many years later to set things straight. And similarly, with another girl from high school as well (I only contacted her earlier this year).

For the most part, I would say that it might take me a few years, but if I can get in contact with people to make amends for my mistakes, I do. I don’t feel overwhelmingly guilty in every situation, but it does feel right to accept blame where I’ve been wrong.

Yes in a heartbeat. I hate when I have to break with someone. I would love to be able to patch it up and be friends again. For one thing, it would mean she has taken advantage the of psychological counseling she so sorely needed.

I had a really good friend… or so I thought. Her husband was very controlling and I stood up to him one day.
From that day she wasn’t the same with me.
I decided to distance from her.
Her husband died and I sent her a card with a message in it. No response whatsoever.
We had been friends for 30+ years.
A small part of me is saying ‘why did our friendship end’, but another part of me is saying ‘she couldn’t have been a true friend’.
I tried to make amends and I miss her, but don’t feel that I can do anything else.

@partyparty You did the best you could. The ball’s in her court now. Maybe one day she will see that you only had her best interest at heart.