Need advice for my daughter?

I live in Seattle. It is a place that she doesn’t have to be “stuck” in, if she doesn’t want. There are lots of places for rent at very reasonable prices, and if she is a nurse and very intelligent, she can move out on her own, find her own place, or get to the airport which is 15 miles south and go anywhere she wants. There are also lots of social services, if she is in real trouble, and as a nurse, she kind just call 911 and intelligently say what she needs.

if you can, go and get her :)

My daughter is home visiting her mom and i and we have just learned this. she has kept this from us for the worry it would cause us. her children are in Seattle, also. she does not want to go back to Seattle, but has no choice, since her son is 16 and his school and friends are there. this is really a huge problem, when your child is 3,000 miles away. thanks for the suggestions.

@john65pennington, does the daughter think her situation is a problem? Or just you?

If it’s your daughter, and if she’s living with him in a lease arrangement and wants to break up, it’s possible to have a platonic relationship with someone. The important thing is to set boundaries.

If you’re the person who has a problem with the situation and not your daughter, my advice is to butt out of her life. There’s nothing more obnoxious or counterproductive than helicopter parents. (No offense.)

I’m not really sure exactly what it is that you are asking.

Does she want to leave or doesn’t she? Is she or the
kids being abused by this guy
or is it just that he is a cold
unemotional type of person?
How do the kids feel about him? If it is imperative for her to leave for reasons of safety, then the son and his friends would seem to be the least of the problem.

What is preventing her from simply finding her own apt for herself and the kids?

I am sorry to hear that, john. Does she want to leave him? If not, then you can’t make her go. But if she does, then the best thing you can do is offer emotional support.

You say she has no place to go, but if her choices are to pay a fee for breaking a lease or to live with a man who doesn’t love her, then the fee is a small price to pay for peace of mind. Seattle is a large city. Hence, it shouldn’t be hard for her to find a new home. She may want to cause as little disruption as possible to her son’s life, but as the old saying goes, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

I didn’t know that children were involved. I presume they are your daughter’s and not her boyfriend’s. It sounds like she needs to leave and get another place with her children. It’s frustrating when these things happen so far away—we feel so out of control.