In love with love?

Well, I think thats the moment that is called “A mature love.” You know, you’re not so blinded by love, but you still love each other well and hang out often… I don’t think you should be overly worried about it. If you become crazy on somebody else, just think that your feelings for the target is not love, but rather interest..

You love the thrill of the chase. Once he’s yours and you know it, the thrill is over.

There’s a neurological basis for this. New love triggers massive releases of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which feels fantastic. It’s a major component of what we mean when we talk about the feeling of being in love. And it is literally addictive (dopamine addiction is at the heart of gambling addiction, for instance).

But this heavy dopamine release doesn’t last forever. Eventually, being in the presence of that “special person” no longer gives you that dopamine high. This has some evolutionary benefit, because while riding that high is great for procreation, it makes one rather dysfunctional in other aspects of life.

The effect is that we can go through a kind of dopamine withdrawal, where we start looking for a new way to generate that dopamine release.

There is another neurotransmitter, oxytocin, which is associated more with the pleasure of companionship— a “cuddlier”, less passionate feeling than that delivered by dopamine. oxytocin is much lower-key than dopamine, and doesn’t have the same addictive quality. The success of long-term relationships seems to depend on being able to be content with the glow of oxytocin rather than the blaze of dopamine.

@Harp: so I’m actually on dopamine withdrawal? it sucks jajajajajajajaj
now.. is it wrong to be so aware of this? or should I just go with the flow until I’m “normal” again.. ?
I know it sounds strange but I can’t help feeling “lost” without the whole crazy feeling stuff, I’ve been in love before and went trought the crazy phase but never like this, and I truly want this relationship to work..

Not wrong. It’s just the way the brain works and it’s not something you can control. Yes, if you ride it out, the withdrawal symptoms will fade (or you may find other ways of getting your “fix”, like blackjack). If there is anything to the relationship beyond the chemical rapture of new love, then you’ll eventually settle into the calmer sweetness of just enjoying each other for who you are.

I blame the media for reinforcing that idea that love is all about this dopamine-related passion. Since it can’t last, people are constantly dismayed to find themselves “falling out of love”, when they’re really just falling out of dopamine. What a waste.

@Harp : I totally agree with you.. media definately makes us think that love is this romantic portrait, filled with hearts and pink backgrounds.
So I guess im going to try bunjee jumping to get my fix jajajaja =)..