If Jesus "returned" to earth how would you recognize him?
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75movies (
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December 14th, 2009
I’d imagine that the wounds would have healed by now, and the hair was simply a style of the time so that might be different, and if he appears in a beach resort town in Europe the loincloth might go unnoticed. He was heralded for millennia before his first arrival and still only a few noticed or cared, how will anyone pick out the messiah from a crowd of billions.
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61 Answers
The biggest problem is the return of the messiah vs. the antichrist issue. Eh?
Possibly the speaking Aramaic thing, not a lot of people do that nowadays.
He’s already here. I go to him if I need hubcaps. He lives in south Phoenix.
If he showed up at a gay pride parade and hopped on the toga float, no one would bat an eye.
Eh, indeed. And I’ll assume that after 2000 years he might have a few languages mastered so the Aramaic thing might not be an issue.
@Axemusica what kind deals is he offering these days?
@jmah I’ve been to Chicago’s pride parade a few times. He would definitely be noticed as he’d be wearing too much clothing.
@75movies His New merchandise is going fast for cheap. get it while you can, but you didn’t hear this from me.
He would be the one raking the leaders of the church over the coals for their “building programs” and their adherence to the letter of the law while ignoring the spirit. He would be the one denouncing televangelists and fundamentalists. He would have just a few followers, and they wouldn’t be very noteworthy… just average people. He would own no property and only one change of clothing and would stay in the homes of the poor, the desperate, of prostitutes and of those generally looked down upon by the rest of the population. He would be the one telling anyone who would listen to love God with all that is within them, and to love their neighbor at least as much as they love themselves.
If Jesus returned, there’s no reason to imagine that anyone could recognize him visually, or even that he would bear any physical resemblance to his prior appearance.
I expect he would be born Palestinian. Or maybe as an AIDS orphan in Africa.
He’d be the tiny dude with the beard…. we’ve all gotten alot taller since his day….. I wonder if he’d suffer from little man syndrome?
So what have we got so far?
Short, Aramaic accent, no foreskin, yells at church leaders. what else?
He would have to perform some pretty nifty miracles to convince anyone. And even then, someone would scream “Photoshop!”.
He’d be the one shaking his finger at me saying “You knew better”
Evil would be conquered all around him. In our society, this would look like a 9.9 earthquake. None of us could miss it.
The majority of the world missed him the first time.
Update: Short stature, Aramaic accent, dark skinned, no foreskin, yells at church leaders, a mom.
I beleive his prescence will not need to be recognized it will be known.
I’m confident your question should begin, “When Jesus returns to earth….”
I don’t know maybe you’d have to shout out “Lord Jesus Christ, where art thou mighty saviour?” Or maybe not…people may stare at you and think you’re crazy.
He might also be the old homeless man in the street with the crazy signs that everyone laughs at. Maybe he’s out there right now. Better toss a few coins in his hat, just in case.
@UScitizen i’m confident that your confidence is unfounded.
@75movies No, no. If John Frumm says he will be back with lots of cargo. he will. Any day now.
E look like you. ‘E got white face. ‘E tall man. ‘E live ‘long South America
History repeats itself. He would be the guy killed for telling people to be good to each other.
@ 75movies… he wasn’t “white” or tall last time. Why would he change? : )
@CaptainHarley How do you know? He wasn’t talking about Jesus as much as the return of John Frum. The Jesus of Melanesia.
Trust me, you will know Him when you see Him, everybody will.
@LTaylor Right. He rides a white horse. You cant miss it.
Will that be bareback?
Who the hell is John Frumm??
Well most noticeable. All the problems of the universe would be over.
1 Thess. 4:16
16* For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
Every human being living on the face of the earth, whenever that day is, will hear that trumpet and our attention will be suddenly captured on a moment’s notice.
He’d be the guy walking on water throwing his unlimited ammunition of bread and fish at hobos trying to steal his innocence.
Ah! I get it. A Fluther in-joke.
@silky1 He is known to the followers of Jesucristo Hombre. It’s just a bonus that he is apparently both the christ and the antichrist. Perhaps God felt the need to reduce his prophesy’s carbon footprint.
we’d know cuz he say “what?” every time someone stubbed their toe
@CaptainHarley: “white” didn’t exist in those days. they had fair-skinned and -haired people in those days, but no such concept.
@ChazMaz Did you just call Jesus a nigger? Everybody, get down! The shit is about to hit the fan! Abandon question! I say, abandon question!
@Ria777… Perhaps not in Palestine, except for the Roman soldiers and administrators of course.
I think that Jesus would give off such a strong “Jesus” vibe that you couldn’t help but know it’s him.
Heck I dunno, he might blend in with all those other 2000 year old corpses you see all the time…........
@75movies, well according to the oldest Bible on the planet, the Ethipoian Bible he is described as a tall man of dark complexion, with tight black, curly hair & a wide flat nose.
@TheJoker Are you saying that a black person = a nigger or that this oldest bible actual calls Jesus a nigger?
OMG…
Let me clear it up.
I said that when Jesus returned he wound be the HNIC.
Head
Nigger
In
Charge
A pun referring to Jesus being black.
And, OMG is Oh My God. ;-)
@ChazMaz My response to your HNIC comment was meant to be taken as a joke. Which is why I didn’t respond to your “I call it as I see it”. Because I got the intended humor. Nothing to clear up.
I did respond to @TheJoker ‘s comment because it’s only purpose seems to be to define tall, dark, curly haired people with flat noses as niggers. Completely different.
Context. context. context.
@75movies – Yes I know. You are funny. :-)
I figured I would just clear it up for those that might not get the HNIC thing. :-)
@CaptainHarley: I mean, I don’t think that the concept of “white” existed. shamefaced, I admit I forgot about the Romans. but I don’t know that they didn’t distinguish between “races” so much as cultures.
race has gone through permutations over time. “hispanic” gets lumped into race. jews may or may not count, depending. (whereas it would seem odd and/or offensive to classify other semitic peoples as “non-white”.) mixed-“race” people get lumped into “not-white” if they look “not-white”. et cetera. we have a particular, somewhat arbitrary concept of race today.
@ChazMaz & @75movies . . .I think everybody should start calling everybody nigger until the whole world is bored with the word instead of up in arms over what amounts to air and specific muscle vibration. The same goes for any other racial slur. Instead of hiding these words away and making them taboo I say we start throwing them around so much that all of the power they hold is sucked dry through familiarity.
@Jacket . . . How about I change OE into BUDWEISER?
@Blondesjon If you can change Budweiser into Guinness, then I’d be impressed.
@Snarp . . . I’m not GAWD.
i can transform ditch into dank though.
As long as it is cold I am good.
@75movies…. sorry? No, just mentioning a little fact I’ve read over the years, which your comment made me think about. Incidently until reading the thread I had no idea what HNIC meant & had never come accross the term before.
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