I’m a woman.
1. Having the chair pulled out for me would make me feel kind of uncomfortable. It’s just a little too much.
2. Which ever of us gets to the door first should hold it open. I don’t want a guy to run around ahead of me just to get the door, and I wouldn’t do that either. I just think people should hold the door open in general if someone is walking in behind them.
3. I think this is a really formal thing to do, like the person was self-consciously trying to be chivalrous to impress me. It just sets a tense and icky tone for the date.
4. I’m all for walking to the car, because this is a legitimate safety issue. I always try to travel in groups when I’m out after dark with my female friends, and we call each other once we’ve made it home. I don’t drive, and I take public transit all the time after dark. I think this is a lot safer than walking alone in a dark parking lot to a car, because public transit is well-lit and there are other passengers around. I can understand being picked up and dropped off if you go somewhere that you have to drive to get there, but otherwise I’d rather get around on my own.
5. No. Eww. This makes putting on a coat take like twice as long. I successfully put my coat on every other day without help, and I don’t need it now.
6. I’d rather treat sometimes. You can pay for dinner, but I’ll get the movie, or something like that. We should both be able to do nice things for each other. The expectations that come with paying for the meal all the time are one of the reasons I don’t like Valentines day. The man is supposed to come up with a great dinner, buy a nice gift, or make some sweeping romantic gesture, and then the couple has sex afterward. What if you don’t want to follow that script, or don’t want to have sex just because you’re “supposed” to?
7. Streets are pretty clean nowadays, but I doubt that if something came at us from the street you could protect me with your body. If someone drove through a mud puddle, some of it will probably still get on me. If a car crashes onto the sidewalk, I don’t think you will save me by being a human shield. Plus it seems like a constant reminder of gender roles, because every time we turned a corner, he would have to position himself to walk next to the street. So no.
Women, I also want to know, if you go on a first date and the man fails to do many of these things is that a make or break reason to go on a second date?
Like I said in another post, if a guy did some very traditional chivalrous things, I would think it was very off-putting. Being considerate and being chivalrous aren’t really the same thing anymore. Consideration goes both ways, but chivalry puts me on edge because it makes me wonder if a guy will be old-fashioned in other ways that aren’t so nice.