How do you transfer a co-sleeping 3-year-old to his own bed?

Put him in the new bed, and sit with him till he falls asleep. This will take a week or two, and will need reinforcement every few weeks.
Good luck, this is heartbreaking work.

i was just thinking the same thing before i signed on, which is why i gave you one of the 3 good questions. i have a 2½ year old daughter and she sleeps in my bed. (right now she’s watching tv in the bed with me). i want to get rid of her crib, which she has never slept in, and get her a regular twin sized bed. i want to start a routine of her sleeping in the bed. what i was thinking was instead of the bath and then coming into my bed like we do now, we’d do the bath and then go into her bed. i would lie with her and we would read boks and then she would fall asleep. hopefully without the stimulation of tv she would fall asleep faster (and hopefully i won’t pass out in her bed!). then i would come into my room. this is hypothetical – will it work? we’ll see when i get her the bed!! my parents were going to buy her a toddler bed for christmas but i want her to have a regular bed so i can lie in it.

I used to lay down in our daughter’s bed with her. We’d read books first, she’d take a bath, and then I’d tuck her into bed with some soft instrumental lullaby music on the CD player. At first I stayed until she was asleep, then I’d sneak out. After a while, I’d wait just until she started to doze off and then whisper that I had to get myself ready for bed. She’d usually fall asleep while I was off doing that. I kept leaving the room earlier and earlier, until we got to the point where I’d tuck her in, say goodnight, and leave her to go to sleep on her own.

With the boys it was harder because they would wake up in the middle of the night and climb into bed with us. For them, we resorted to bribery. A three year old is old enough to get the concept of a reward, so you can make a chart and give a small reward for staying in his own bed all night. Start with one night, then two, then three, until it is a habit. Basically, the child needs to learn to put himself back to sleep when waking up in the middle of the night. It’s a slow process and takes patience.

There are many methods out there for getting little kids to sleep on their own all night. You can visit the library or a bookstore and find some books on the subject. The methods range from long-term to quick (with “quick” involving some crying and a lot of willpower on the part of the parents). It’s up to you to find a method that fits with your parenting style and family philosophy. You can also ask the pediatrician for advice nex time you’re there.

Our kids are 10, 6, and 4 now. They’ve all been sleeping in their own rooms since they were about a year old (we started sooner), but when through phases of getting up in the middle of the night or needing some extra attention. Our daughter started having a hard time falling asleep when she was three, after giving up the pacifier. That’s when I started lying down with her at night. Anyway, it’s very rare now for any of them to creep into bed with us in the middle of the night. It might seem like your son will be in your bed forever, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck!

I raised 2 of my own and helped a lot of children deal with nap time in a day care. Frankly the 2 years olds are easier to deal with because by three some may start to panic about sleeping alone. My nephew would not go to bed on his own and in one week I got him off to bed on his own.
1. Make sure they understand that this is not a punishment. Some may feel rejected.
2. Get them into a routine that will not change. Dinner, a bath and as a reward they get to watch their favorite show or kiddy movie.
3. Turn the lights down low when they are watching and watch it with them. I would stroke my nephews hair and in minutes he would be off in slumber land.
4. Keep their bed in your room and let them know it will only be till their room is ready.
5. Make sure to repeat they are very much loved but they are getting to be a big boy or girl and they need to sleep in their own beds like other big boys and girls their age. Children like to do what other children are doing. I never used a book but I am sure someone must’ve written a book for children about sleeping on their own. I know in daycare there were so many books for children dealing with childrens life lessons.
6. If they have a favorite blanket or bear or toy, Make sure they have it everynight till they feel secure.
7. Be firm. If they get out of bed return them to bed and play a little music for them.
In day care we soft music and or sounds of rain or waves or classical music. Nothing to harsh. They will associate the sound with sleep and drown out any other sounds that may disturb their sleep.
8. Whatever you do, do not let guilt get the better of you. They will cry, pout and try to bargain but you must insist it is for their own good and that you do it because you love them and they need their own space and own things in their very own room. Let them know how proud you are at how grown up they are getting. If you let them get away with one night, you have to start all over again. Its like when you wean them off of the bottle or a pacifier. They got over that and they will get over this. They will not hate you or feel less loved so long as you show them you have control over the situation. This will make them feel more secure in the long run. Especially once they feel they can be more independent and they have no reason to fear as they sleep.
Now of course every child is different. I had some really difficult ones in day care but the firmer I was (of course with love and understanding) the faster they would skip their insecure feelings. We would have parent marvel at how quickly their child would nap with us and they said bed time and nap time are a battle at home.
9. Be sure to never over stimulate your child before bedtime. That is why I would do the dinner, the bath, and then the movie before bed time and the dim lights. In day care we would do story time, art and then lunch and then nap time.
I hope this helps. Best of Luck.

@jca I think you should slightly alter the routine, ie tell her that now that she’s big enough she can get to play for 5 mins after the bath, or teach her to brush her teeth, or read a book or something. Make a new ritual that leads to the new bed. The adjustment will always be hard anyway.

I personally did this when we moved, so she’d now have a new room (she had a room in the previous house but didn’t want to sleep in her own bed). Even though it wasn’t as nice, she adjusted to the new ritual: milk, bath, pee, teeth, diaper, bedtime story, kiss, then daddy goes to his room and leaves the corridoor light on in case she wakes up in the night. It generally worked, but then again my daughter was easy when she was with me, and I could always persuade her to do what I wanted.

Pandora’s tips above are generally the way to go, can’t think of anything I’d like to add, though my personal view now is that it’s no big deal. We try to help our children grow up, sometimes rushing them in the process. I now wish I’d allowed my daughter to sleep with me more often, if that was what she wanted. I also didn’t push her with the potty training or removing the dummy. If a kid feels they need to remain little for a while longer and aren’t ready for the next phase, let them be. I was perhaps too firm as a father (not strict, but firm). And never got to spoil my baby enough.

When I first put my kids into “big boy beds”, they were afraid of falling off, so at first I just put the mattresses down (without the frame), then after they felt a little more comfortable, made it a REAL Big Boy Bed with the frame, headboard, etc. It was like an accomplishment for them at that point. As far as nighttime, I found routine routine routine works best. At first, he’s going to get up alot probably (because he can) and will have excuses—I’m thirsty, I have to go potty, I want a hug. Try to incorporate these things into the routine before he goes to bed. When he does get up, just lead him back, quick hug, lay him down and leave the room. The less attention the better. It will be harder at first, but it will pay off.

We coslept with our son until 14 months, and it took a month of transition.

We did some crying-it-out, but not excessive. He would cry, and I’d go in and sit and ready, or rock him. He needed a nightlight, and his lullaby music to play.
At this age, routine is key. We just took the bottle away from our son (he was 28 months, not 29 months) and it took a lot of reinforcement. Letting him know it’s okay, reading more to him, sitting in there and rubbing his back. It’s time consuming but it’s what you have to do