What do you say to a person that cuts himself/herself?

i don’t know how old you are but you should probably tell someone. i’ve had experience with this issue and the best advice (although it wasn’t appreciated at the time) is to talk to somebody… an adult, mentor, relative.

i think people do this more for attention, or to feel something, not necessarily to kill themselves, but it’s a risk that isn’t worth it

People can accidently kill themselves when they’re cutting just to maim themselves. Get your friend help, ASAP.

he/she is already getting help. But what do you say to a person like this?

You can’t really say anything to make them feel better. It’s up to them, just try to support them.

tell someone
i am a cutter
ive cut for 3 almost 4 years
i wish i wouldve got help b4 it got outa control

I’m sorry to here that. I have friends that cut themselves, too. I used to do that when i felt horrible for doing something “wrong.” @tink said the right thing. Support them. they will
only change if they truly want to change; they have the final answer.

thanks.

I guess I would say I’m sorry you mentally hurt so badly that physical pain is “better”. Is there anything I can do to help you to help yourself instead of hurting yourself?

@ahhhchugs Make sure they know that you’ll sit with them as long as it takes to resist the urge. Make sure they know they can call you at any time of the day when they feel like they’re going to do it. Make sure they know that you care.

I didn’t know any of that, and now my arms aren’t very pretty.

I would recommend the book The Noonday Deamon as a good introduction to understanding what your friend may be going through. When you have more information, you may be more equipped to know how to help

How about getting some help? Cutting doesn’t solve the problem. It deforms you and gives you a high for only a few moments. It’s also a form of manipulation. Maybe check out Borderline Personality Disorder. Help and support might really feel good.

um, that’s a hard one, you see i use to be a cutter. no one knew cause i always wore long sleeves, it wasn’t for attention.i was in so much mental pain that i didn’t know how to deal with it; but saying all of that i do know people that do it for attention. what would i say to a person that’s a cutter? it depends on if they were cutting for attention or because they were in pain. if they were in pain i would try to help them find other ways to deal with it, if it was for attention; it just depends on how close i was to that person.it’s hard to answer this question because it all depends on the cutter and your relationship with the cutter…

ensure they are aware of the ‘safe ways to self harm – there is information available, a lot of cutters do follow it

As @Merriment and @mellow_girl said, a lot of times cutters are in such mental anguish—no doubt hating themselves and thinking they are shit—that some kind of physical pain takes the attention away from the mental pain. You can do stuff obsessively—scratching the same place all day long, for example—or you can do things like cutting, which, I imagine, focuses the attention on the activity and the pain, and lets you not focus on the mental pain. Suicide is often another result of such mental pain, so cutting is better.

What do you say? You show you understand. You can talk about times when you have been in anguish, and encourage them to talk about what is bothering them. A lot of this pain comes from unfathomable loneliness and a belief that one is utterly and completely unlovable and that one will never, ever be happy.

You feel lead in your stomach, axes attacking your back, the weight of hod of bricks on your shoulders, and your mind circles around and around, seeking a way out of the pain and never finding one. If you can imagine this, or a time when you have felt something like this, you can show that you understand, and that the person has company.

You can also try to offer love, but that can be very tricky. I’m projecting here from my experience, but they may try to push you away when you offer love. Feeling loved is not part of their world. It doesn’t makes sense. It’s a sham, and it won’t last, so rather than letting it in only to be disappointed (and expectations of love are huge at this point), it seems safer to keep it away. It’s only right, anyway, if you aren’t lovable.

So I think that consistency matters more than love. Just be there, regularly. Don’t leave without telling them when you will return. Return when you say you will return. If you can’t make an appointment, call or text to say so. Only behavior will convince them that someone actually cares. They see through words. Words mean nothing. Sometimes they don’t consciously see the behavior, but they will take it in subconsciously.

So, be understanding, and be consistent, and keep them informed.

They may test you by not being there when you come. Do not take this as rejection. It’s a test. Continue to be consistent.

It’s almost a full time job. Do you really want to be there for your friend?

I suggest they use rubber bands or ice to substitute for the cutting during the time they seek assistance. (Ice can be painful, though some complain it takes too long, and snapping a thick rubber band against the skin can offer some relief without the risk of scarring or infection.)

I hope your friend’s parents have him/her in counseling. That is what they need.

Be more careful next time handling that blade!