How do you feel when you see someone discipline their child?

Pretty much the same way I feel about anything I have no control over.

It delights me to see other parents experience the same hardships in parenting as I often do…not that I like to see kids misbehave but its good to see someone else fight the same battles I do…now beating them uncontrollably is unacceptable and should not be over looked

Was there a reason she was hitting him? The farthest I would go with physical discipline would be a spanking, other then that no I don’t really like it.

Violence begets violence. She was inadvertently teaching her child that violent behaviour is the right way to solve problems, especially when your opponent is weaker, smaller, and less intelligent than you are.

It makes me sad.

Was it beating, hitting or a spank on the bottom?
I don’t like people abusing their children, but I have no problem with a parent giving the child a spanking on the bottom when the child was misbehaving, rude, or just disobedient. I would do the same if it was my child.

Makes me glad mine are grown up and outa here!

Dont like to see kids get beat up unneccessarily but I do think we have become a bit soft in our discipline.

Unless they are overtly beating their child, I feel like it’s none of my business.

It’s good to teach children that it’s ok to hit defenseless people when they don’t behave they way you want them to. It’s like with women. They need a smack when they step over the line. But beating women uncontrollably is unacceptable. Things like that makes a child a better person.

Kids learn early on how to manipulate their situations….They don’t call is the terrible 2’s for nothing! So IMO a spanking can help reinforce certain messages about the right and wrongs in this world much in the same way fire and getting burned lets us know to keep a safe distance. Plus I am not walking in their shoes so essentially their kid is their problem and if they want to irresponsibly beat their kid in public DCFS won’t let them get away with that for long.

I heard a father launch into a little kid in the grocery store recently. I don’t mean physically, he was verbally berating the kid mercilessly. And it was a little kid so it seemed to me the lesson was probably not understood anyhow. I think a smack on the bottom would be a lot less abusive and probably every bit as productive.

If it is truly a beating, I would wonder what was up and if I should step in. Was the child bloody, were there broken bones or other injuries?

However, I think some people call a “spanking” (a swat on the butt to make a point) a “beating” as if the two were in the same class. I don’t think they are, and if I see a child who has been grossly misbehaving get a spankin’, I’m relieved that the parent is doing something about it.

In my job at the grocery store, I’d see children licking the grocery conveyor belt (eww!) or rolling around on the floor so no one could get past, or screaming like a banshee. And the parents, who believed violence was wrong, would try to reason with their two-year-olds, saying, “Tommy, please stop” or “Tommy, I don’t like it when you do that,” or “Tommy, that’s not nice” over and over and it does NOTHING. The thing is, you don’t need to beat them to make them stop – a simple spanking will do. You can’t reason with them until they understand what reason is.

I don’t like it either.

Since marriage licenses are usually required, I think parenting licenses should be even more requisite.

That wouldn’t guarantee that children wouldn’t get beaten, but it would probably reduce the frequency of those beatings.

I’m glad that I’m not a parent.

That is something that is horrible to see. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot a stranger can do when they see that. I like to see parent’s “disciplining” their children in a sensible way rather than seeing them allow them to run around like animals… but we have no control over how someone else disciplines their children.

It really depends on the situation. If a kid is being a complete terror, it’s nice to see a parent do something about it, instead of letting the kid think their behavior is fine. Personally, I don’t think a single swat on the bottom is abusive. A smack on the hands for touching things after being told not to also seems acceptable to me. But any kind of repeated striking makes me uncomfortable, and it also bothers me to see a parent hit their child on the mouth or the back of the head.

I hate it when someone death stares a parent for giving their child a spank at the mall or supermarket. If they are naughty then smack the little shits! Yes, i am against throttling said little shits, but a smack is a good deterrent when coupled with good parenting skills. Worked wonders for me…I was a devil of a kid.

There is a big difference in discipline and abuse. Children need discipline and as a parent, when all else failed, I would not hesitate to give my kids a couple of swats on the bottom to get their attention. This was done with my hand and, more often than not, hurt my hand more than the bottom being swatted. I also did not humiliate my kids by doing this in public in front of strangers, I either took them outside or to the bathroom. I have seen parents go way too far, yanking their little kids by the arm, cursing them and threatening to beat them and from the way they were talking to them and treating them, there was no doubt in my mind that this was not an idle threat. How does that make me feel? It makes me feel helpless and I feel sorry for the kid.

I don’t like to see it because it happened to me, but depending on what it is…..I still feel like kids need to be disciplined.

I was going to avoid this question because anytime I’ve mentioned here that I have spanked my children a few times when they were younger, I’ve been called an abuser for it. It is nice to see that others know the difference between a little swat/spank on the butt and actual abuse.

If I see it and I think the parent is going overboard I have to remind myself that it is non of my business.
I think discipline is essential and how a parent chooses to do that is their own affair whether it be verbal or a tanned arse!

I’d get a swat on the tushie if I misbehaved at the shops. But if it had gotten that far, I knew I was really in for it when I got home.

I agree with @Confuscious and what others have said on here about the difference between abuse and a smack on the butt for discipline. And sometimes, as @MacBean said, it’s a relief to see parents actually do something to control their kids when they are being little shits and disturbing everyone around them. However, like @jonsblond I don’t want to say to much on this thread because there have been a number of debates about “to spank or not to spank” and it’s not pretty and often turns into a slanging match. Whatever you believe is right or ok when it comes to disciplining children you are not likely to change your mind.

@aprilsimnel I know that feeling!!!

I work retail and just this last week I saw two examples of discipline. One was a young father with 2 very small children in his cart and a boy that was about 3 walking. The three year old was looking at something on the way out of the store and wouldn’t leave. The father was yelling full voice at this boy and then ran over and hit him on top of the head. It looked like he hit him very hard. Of course this didn’t help the situation at all. Then the boy stood there and cried. People checking out were watching and looking at each other and shaking their heads, etc. No one did anything, because, really you don’t know what to do. I felt so sorry for that little guy. Then a couple days later I was in the bathroom and a lady brought a boy that looked close to 4 into a stall and talked to him quietly about how she told him to stop touching things and to stay near her. Her voice sounded very serious and she really talked to the kid. After she got done he said ok he wouldn’t touch anything, etc. I was impressed at the mom and the kid. I just thought she handeled it so well.

I personally am not opposed to a swat or spanking. I am opposed to hitting your kid on the head and screaming at him-in public no less

i feel i am seeing a good parent that cares enough to teach their child right from wrong.

@knitfroggy so true. discipline like anything else has a right way and a wrong way.

I answered a call where a man and woman were intoxicated and causing a disturbance. my partner and i arrived and separated the two people. i advised the woman to go outside and take care of her 5 year old daughter, while we talked to her husband. within a minute or two, we heard a child scream. the drunk mother had struck her child for reasons unknown. as we were talking to the woman, her child said something to her mother than really ticked her off. the mother then grabbed her daughters arm and yanked her off the front porch. the child screamed in pain. i immediately threw the woman on the ground and placed the handcuffs on her. she was arrested for disorderly conduct and child endangerment. the child was taken to the hospital. right arm pulled out of its socket. woman plead guilty and served one year and one day in jail. her child was taken away from her. this was not the first incident of this type, involving her child and child abuse. my job was to protect the child and i did.

@john65pennington That sounds horrible and definately a case of abuse rather than discipline. Does what you have seen in your job affect how you feel about a spank on the butt as discipline?

Ugh, I also hate to see people yanking on their kids like that. Once when my nephew was about two or three, he started to run away from me in a busy parking lot so I reached out and grabbed him by the wrist to keep him close. I didn’t even pull him back toward me but he already had such momentum that his shoulder popped out. Poor little guy, he cried so hard. (Gotta admit, I cried, too. I felt so awful. The whole point of grabbing him was that I didn’t want him to get hurt!) If his shoulder could dislocate so easily like that, I can’t imagine what the poor kids who are being forcefully yanked around by their parents feel like. :(

It bothers me tremendously.
My grandmother used to beat my mother. I really resent her for it. I was fortunate enough that my mother never laid a finger on me, but because of the abuse, she doesn’t like people touching her and let’s people walk all over her for fear of confrontation I suppose.
All those parents are doing is teaching their children that violence is acceptable for solving problems.
However, there is a difference between spanking and beating a child.
If a parent wants to spank their kid, it really isn’t any of my business.
Abuse however, is a different story and I find it hard to tolerate. I’ve intervened in a situation like that once before and wish more people had the balls to do the same.

Well, corporal punishment on children is legal in most parts of the world. These are the countries in the world where it’s not. Link

Imo, raising your hand on a child is losing your grip as a parent. I think “My mom did that and I turned out alright”, “you have to show who is boss” and “they need to know there are consequences” makes it seem justified. Kids do test the limits, and they need boundaries. But it’s just so much easier to just smack them over the head or spank their ass, instead of talking to them.

I think I’d need to know what sort of spanking you witnessed.

I spank my son on the butt when he’s not listening…he’s got a diaper on, it’s more of a “hey listen to me” sort of thing. It doesn’t hurt. I’ve never disciplined him in public with hitting at all, frankly, I think he’d have to do something pretty bad for it to warrant that.
If I saw someone repeatedly hitting their child, I would probably say something…because it reaches a point where the parent has to walk away…and maybe getting knocked out of that heat of the moment is what they need.

Their kid. Get over it.

Thankful, unless it appears abusive.

Before I can answer, I need to know exactly what you saw, and if the parent was out of control and violent, or was calmly spanking the child. My answer depends on knowing that.

2nd Answer. today, the courts have pretty much accepted swatting a child on the rearend, over clothes, as punishment. crosiing the line occurs when there is physical evidence of child abuse. i answered a call where this lady from Samolia(?) had struck her 13 year old daughter many times on her back with a woooden spoon. the lady stated her daughter would not stay home and this was not tolerated in her country. lady admitted to hitting her daughter and the spoon indentions proved this. i finally arrested this woman for domestic violence and child abuse.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. I say better a soft behind now than getting raised by the state correctional system later. That is why we Yankees have the death penalty, because many believe there are crimes so terrible that simply locking them away for x amount of years won’t make up for it. If a child does something really bad and a point has to be made that it is that bad, 3 to 5 swats on the butt is not going to kill them.

When I was in the 3rd or 4th grade I got into a fight with some kid after recess I think he was trying to cut the line when a teacher tried to break it up I got mad at her because she was stopping me from punching this other boy so I kicked her. My feet only touched the ground once as I was dragged by the scruff of my neck to the principal’s office. I got a fat swat there and when I got home bad news always beat you home my mom lit me up like a Roman candle. But from them on I learned kicking or disrespecting a teacher was serious, enough to brig out the “nuclear option” and I never did it again. Had it been just a “time out” or a trip to the “naughty chair” I doubt I would have learned the impact of my action.

@Hypocrisy_Central well said!

@Hypocrisy_Central Wonderful story! I would get it “twice as bad at home,” too if I ever got in trouble! It’s really sad, though, that today the teacher would face disciplinary action by putting their hands on the child (physically taking them to the office) and the principal would probably face the death penalty for swatting the child. And every body wonder’s why the school systems are such a mess…and worse, somehow want to blame the teachers.

@Val123 & @FishGutsDale Thanks. Believe me back in the day some would call the Dark Ages the teachers commanded their classrooms like a captain on his bridge. They commanded order and respect, there were no bird flipping, ignoring, insults etc. Any kid caught acting up all she has to say is “You want to go to the principal’s office?” and that shut EVERYONE down and class sailed on. No kid wanted to go to the office, that usually meant a soft behind and worse when you got home. Today’s kids have little fear, the laws as you say basically gives the butler the keys to the Bentley and allows them not to tell the owner where they are driving it to.

@Hypocrisy_Central Three cheers. No. Make that four. When my kids were little I told them that I had given the principal permission to spank them if they needed it. They just shook their heads and said, “We don’t ever get sent to the office!” Secret smile. :)

@laureth You took the words right out of my mouth! In these situations, clearly talking does nothing. I’d rather see an over-disciplined child then an under-disciplined one.
@ChazMaz Ha, you said it!
@Jacket Not advocating beating or spanking here, but I have seen many people try to reason with their 2 and 3 year olds, and, as laureth proved in her answer, it doesn’t always work because, well, they’re 3. I don’t think they’re talking about always using spanking, but using it in reason with everything else. Like a well-balanced diet, using everything in moderation can work.

There is nothing wrong with discipline. Spanking though is another thing altogether. I don’t care what anyone says. I am against it.