Should you spend time this Christmas with family you've not cared about in quite awhile?

Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I can relate to your position.

I wish my sister could get that wisdom.

She has not talked to my mother in 2 years. Does not even motivate her children to visit her.
They live down the street from one another. It makes me sick.

I appreciate your viewpoint and respect the sentiment behind it. I do feel that if seeing one’s family could place a person in danger, then they should not go. Not all families are safe.

Captain, you can only forgive those who are ready to forgive you. I have not spoken to my family since we buried my mother last month. I have attempted to make contact to have the door slammed in my face. My mother’s last wish was for me, her oldest (living) to keep this family together. I promised her I would; however, I cannot keep that promise. I carry the guilt but that’s my burden to bare.

Hey Captain! Its nice to see you. Christmas is the time to let the other issues take a back seat and just be a family. We’ve had scuffles from time to time, but we pretty much just try to leave it at the door on that day. (next day, gloves come off though!—just kidding!)

It’d be wonderful if the world worked that way, Captain.

Unfortunately, the issues that lie between myself and my family are not going to change solely because some people believe in Santa Claus, Jesus, and The Spirit of Christmas.

To be honest, I count myself fortunate to have them out of my life, and am completely happy to know that my son will never be exposed to their poison.

Well; some people just might; BUT I won’t .

I don’t really care if my sister and her family have a Christmas this year or any other year, as far as that goes… and I definately won’t be at any of them.

My grandmother said that you only become an adult when everyone who remembers you as a baby has passed away. Time to make the holidays special for those that you remember as babies; pass along what you’re received from those who have gone before.

Thanks for the wonderful reminder and sentiment. It makes me think about my grandparents, and my dad.

Forgiveness is more for those who want to forgive, than it is for those to be forgiven. Unforgiveness generates bitterness, and bitterness can ( quite literally ) kill you. Forgiveness CAN be a two-way street, but is more likely to be one-way. It’s not necessary for the person I want to forgive to be, do, or say anything. Forgiveness either takes place in my heart on my own initiative, at a time of my own choosing, or it takes place not at all.

I sure understand your thoughts on this. When my dad passed away I had said everything I wanted to say and he knew I loved him. I try to always let even people I dont see often know how I feel about them. I dont want that phone call telling me someone is gone and I havent been right with them.

@Sunshine2u… you are not far from true wisdom. : ))

I disagree, because my family isn’t much anymore and my one relative is always nasty, expects me to do all her dirty work, she never says thankyou, (I don’t get paid) and she curses me out for no reason. I’ve dealt with it my entire life and now I don’t want to see her, it’s just not worth it and it’s not as if there was ever any love in the relationship. She is even verbally abusive to my seven yearold brother, I could take her crap, but when she started on my brother I lost it with her and I don’t see why he or anyone else in my immediate family should deal with her behaviour anymore. And another thing she’s too proud to apologize, so until that day comes I refuse to speak to her but she stepped far too out of line this time and she knows it.

Not everyone is as lucky to have a family like mine. We miss being together all the time, and cherish the days we have at family gatherings. Some people are a lot better off staying away from their family.

All gone now, including the only person I loved or ever will love. This is the first holiday season of total isolation for me. I’m ignoring it as best I can.
@Seek_Kolinahr , @gemiwing : Agree. Some families are like a minefield, unless cleared by a professional it’s best to stay away. The consequences of one wrong step can be dangerous.

Christmas time is a good time to visit family in general.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land… [ HUGS ]

@dogkittycat… you must forgive her in your heart. You don’t have to tell her that you’ve forgiven her, nor do you have to be around her, but for your own good, you need to forgive her.

do what ever works for you. me im going to see my mother 2brothers and 1 sister lot of nieces. ill rather stay at home but i feel is my responsability to be ther.

@luigi… Yes, your responsibility to them, and your responsibility to yourself. : ))