Do you succumb to guilt?
Asked by
Facade (
22937
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December 17th, 2009
Backstory: I have super needy parents who like to smother me. They also like to act pitiful about me not being “their baby” anymore. More recently, they’ll get upset if I don’t hug them every day. I feel no urge to hug them since I don’t want to be here in the first place, but that’s another story. Yesterday, my dad was home. He and I were in the same area of the house, but I was going about my business. Then my mother comes home. First thing she asks, “Did your daughter hug you today?” His response, “No, I’m still hugless. I don’t know why she doesn’t hug me.” They continue on in their self-pity. Mind you, I can hear all of this, and I hear it every damn day. I then finish up and go to my room.
Now to the point: They try to guilt me into doing things to benefit them. But it doesn’t work. I have friends who would just give in, but in my case, there are deeper things to consider than a hug.
And now to the questions: Do you give in to people who try to shame or guilt you into doing things (any type of thing)? Do you enable or humor people? Do you use these tactics to get what you want? Shame on you if you do~
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19 Answers
I succumb to guilt all the time. My mother’s pretty good at it. I think once you reach a certain age (or move out of the house) your parents replace groundings with guilt trips.
No, I don’t do any of that. And, it sure doesn’t work on me.
@Facade, I’m glad that you’re moving out. What’s going on at home isn’t good for your head.
xo
I ran out of guilt a LONG time ago….
@RocketSquid I completely agree
@jmah Good for you! And, tell me about it. These people are making me crazier than I need to be.
@HighShaman What do you mean?
@Facade love ya, girl. Big hugs. Just think…soon.
@Facade I mean that I Do and Say NOTHING that I can be made to feel “GUILTY” about .
I used to be made to feel “Guilty” about a lot of things ; BUT I’ve come to be myself and live with it. I am basically a Good person ; don’t need to have people always trying to make me feel “Guilty” because I don’t do , say, or go along with them…
@jmah I hope so. Nothing’s written in stone (unfortunately).
@HighShaman Oh, I see. Good then :)
I have a tendency to give in. I have a horrible conscience and I really can’t help it. If I feel guilty it will eat me alive.
I use to. I don’t any more.
Usually.
After a while life makes your skin a bit thick.
For me. “Shit happens,” tends to be my war cry.
@Facade I know :[ I’m sorry. YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY SO I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Shame on you Liz.
I have no idea what you mean…teehee
Guilt?? Guilt?? What guilt?? Why are you always pointing the finger at ME!??! I wasn’t there, I didn’t do anything…heck…I don’t even know what day it is. Geez…would you just lay off for once!!!
I do. Most people will, every now and then. I suppose guilt wouldn’t be such a big deal if it wasn’t human.
Oh, come on. Why try to claim that someone else is responsible for the feelings you choose to indulge in. I am a firm believer in the fact that each of us, alone, is responsible for how we choose to react or respond to our surroundings. There is absolutely that anyone else can “make” use feel anything we don’t choose to feel.
The sole exception to the “choose” example is internal chemical imbalance, which needs to be diagnosed and treated by a medical doctor.
Been there done that. I don’t respond well to manipulation, especially emotional blackmail like your parents are using on you. Just like you, I get stubborn and I refuse to give into the pressure. Here’s is a little food for thought for you, my rigid stance on this issue has caused me unnecessary pain, it has caused others unnecessary pain and in hind sight I realize throwing them a bone wouldn’t have weakened my integrity it would have strengthened it. Pick your battles and don’t let your pride turn you into a career solider like I almost did.
My kids try to “guilt” me into doing stuff all the time.
I take it on the chin, have a whinge and then do it anyway.
I went through a period when I felt guilty all the time. No reason why, our minds are strange things.
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