How do i confront my boyfriend about his cyber sexting?

You leave him. He’s not worth your time if he’s not only cheated on you before, but is talking to other girls about things that he should only be talking to you about. It’s gonna be hard, but so worth it.

He’s doing it because he wants to. You gave him these chances and look what he does with them. You don’t need him.

What @chelseababyy said

he’s not playing by your rules. either love him for it or leave him for it.

What do you mean “confront” him? You just break up with him. Right now. Without delay, without conversation. Really, you should have broken up with him after he cheated the first time. Do you, by chance, have the word ‘WELCOME’ stamped on your back?

As for “why is he doing it”, because you let him. You’ve already proven, not once, not twice, but three times that you don’t mind if he cheats. He’s “allowed to”. So why shouldn’t he?

@MrItty that was awesome.
it’s true @MS_ConFused he’s allowed to cheat and stay with you if he wants… apparently.

if that’s not true then you’ve gotta prove it to him (and yourself) by leaving.

I can’t possible say it better than @chelseababyy and @MrItty already have. GAs.

Go, go, go. Now.

Why are you spying on his e-mail account? You naughty girl!

It sounds like a confrontation is not necessary. You have the information. He’s not hiding it and now you need to decide what you’re going to do.

Meanwhile what is up with the Gestapo Mods?

You must stop seeing him. You have given him waaay more chances than necessary.

From the sounds of that evidence and his behavior, I wouldn’t even dignify the situation with a confrontation…just leave and don’t look back.

Then, reflect on what just happened over the last 4 years and how you will learn from that in the future.

Good luck!

I say confront him by leaving him. If he’s done it twice already, you’ve given him more than enough chances. There’s definitely someone out there for you who will love and respect you enough to not cheat.

[mod says] Joke quips that appear early in the thread are removed per the Fluther guidelines.

Once a cheater always a cheater.
You can’t live in a relationship without trust.

Just dump the bum already!! I really don’t get it. Why would someone stick around with a lying, cheatin’ dog?

@Judi
Good question, ask fluther.

@Pazza ; No thanks. There are enough garbage questions to sort through out there right now as it is.

@Judi
Why not ask fluther why fluther doesn’t delete garbage questions then ;-p

It is against fluther guidelines to go off topic here. this is not a chat room. Sorry. Save it for somewhere else.

@Pazza Please stay on topic. There’s no reason for your sarcasm. Take it elsewhere.

@shilolo
Mine was like the fourth answer. It used to be only the first couldn’t be funny. At this rate this place may start to resemble the McNeil Lehrer report and then see how much revenue the boys will be banking.

@SeventhSense And your answer was helpful in what way? I fail to see how the number of users will be affected by whether irrelevant comments are removed.

It adds levity to otherwise estrogen soaked threads. :)

@SeventhSense There’s no need to discriminate because more women than men are in certain threads. This is not what Fluther is about. It’s about helping people.

@chelseababyy
He asked me a question. I was just answering.

@SeventhSense He has just taken a personal dislike of me. Mine was the 1st reply deleted on this one. But you know how some people are. They take the football home with them when they are losing.

@chelseababyy
no.~

Well now that that’s settled, can we get back to our normally scheduled program please? ~

This is a bad man. Bad boyfriend, bad person. You should run out the door as fast as you can and don’t look back. He now thinks that he can do whatever he wants because you’ve let him get away with it so many times. You need to show him he’s wrong about that and book it out of there, pronto.

@sndfreQ
Cool.
(I just looked up….did I cause that??? Oooops ;-) )

@MS ConFused – Anyhoo, I think really you should ask yourself can I really trust him not to do it again, if the answer is no, and you don’t have any children together, you just need to pluck up the courage to leave him. If you can’t because you can’t be alone, then why not start looking around yourself. Its easier to find a job whilst your in a job, so to speak.

I imagine that all the cheating must be painful for you. I don’t really see why you would stick around. Why not find someone that doesn’t treat you like cat litter?

I’m a 32 year old male and have never cheated. Guys that aren’t douche bags do exist. Spend your time finding one.

@johnpowell Wow, that’s refreshing to hear of a guy that doesn’t cheat. Kudos!

@MS_ConFused I would think it would be time to move on and not waste another second with someone you can’t trust. There are better people out there for you.

And keep in mind that this is two times that you know about. I would bet good money that there are a lot more notches on the headboard that you don’t know about.

There’s a Chinese proverb: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

@PandoraBoxx Wait, I thought it was on old Texas proverb?

@ubersiren
BAD MAN…MAN BAD
“Helpless Poor little girl…oh my…

What..? Who said she’s helpless?

Who said he was a bad man?

I did! Totally, all me! Anyone who takes advantage of someone else by cheating on her, then lying about it multiple times is a bad, bad man! Maybe she’s an equally bad woman, I don’t know. But a good man would break up with her for being a bad woman instead of carrying on affairs behind her back and lying about it.

There are no victims. She gets something out of this or she wouldn’t be there.

I disagree with that. You can both be a victim in a situation and feel obligated to stay because of some benefit (shelter, comfort, etc.)

…and that would be something she’s getting from it.

Exactly. I’m saying you can be both a victim and be getting something for it at the same time, whereas you say there are no victims. I disagree that there are no victims. Getting something from the sitch doesn’t cancel out being a victim. That’s like saying it’s ok if a husband beats his wife as long as he pays the bills.

Equating dissatisfaction with the sex in a relationship to a wife beater is not a fair analogy. She obviously doesn’t belong with him but stays for some masochistic psychological reason known only to her. Perhaps her father was a cheater and it feels like home. Perhaps his mother was frigid and he thinks it’s normal to have a naive wife and a dirty girl on the side. So if they’re both victims then they’re both innocent and worthy of compassion.

I didn’t equate nothin’.

Ok let’s have cookies. I’ll get the oreos you get the milk.

People tend to repeat past behaviors. He has cheated on you twice (that you know of), he’s cyber sexting, disrespects you, talks bad about you, etc. What do you see in this guy? Don’t you deserve better than that? Only you can decide for yourself if this is what you are worthy of.

You could include a paragraph or two addressing his sexting in your farewell note.

@PandoraBoxx
Everytime I hear that I just see George dubya. lol

Why would you “confront” him? If he lives with you in your place, changes the locks and then pack up his stuff and leave it outside the front door when he is due home. You can include a simple, honest note explaining why you can no longer trust him and that is why the relationship is over – for good. Make it clear that nothing he says will change you mind, ever.

If it is his place, pack up and move your stuff out while he is at work or otherwise away for any extended period. Leave him the same note and any keys you have to his place.

Either way. dump him and move on with your life. Surely you deserve better than what you have been getting from him.

@Dr_Lawrence – that wouldn’t work here. Evictions take a month at least, even for roommates.