You are sitting on Santa's lap. What do you ask for?
Asked by
jonsblond (
44213
)
December 20th, 2009
If you are having a hard time financially and know that you are not getting much (if anything) for Christmas this year, what would you ask Santa for if you had the chance to sit on his lap?
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If I am sitting on Santa’s lap I am so shitfaced that I’d ask to just kill myself.
If I had to ask for something that someone could actually give me, it’d be money for sure. If I get to dream big, I’d ask for my health issues to vanish overnight. If I get to dream really big, I’d ask for world peace. I am officially boring. :/
@augustlan Dream big! It is Santa you are asking. =)
@jonsblond Cool! Does that mean I get all three? :D
I would ask for the body I had at 43!
M sitting..m thinking… look at this weirdo fake Santa..AS IF!!
@augustlan Not only do you get all three, you also get a nice cold beer for dreaming big.
@cold_cut As if! Pull the damn beard! =)
I ask for him to quit poking me with that candy cane in his pocket.
What do you mean that’s no candy cane?
I’d ask for the biggest bar of chocolate in the world, A free pass to Mcdonalds and Burger king for 10 years, Invisibility spray, the ability to charm every girl meet and a ray gun that makes women agree with whatever I say!
oh and world peace…...........
I’d ask for a chance to meet extraterrestrials(some nice ones of course)and perhaps take my only three friends and move on their planet[or on a spaceship to explore the universe with them(like in Star Trek)].
And if I can’t have this I’d ask for an Itouch.
OK, real answer:
• More free time
• To be less cynical
• A sense of contentment
• To completely let go of the past
For my wife:
• More self confidence
• A hobby she is passionate about
• An inability to feel guilt
For my daughter:
• The abolishment of all fears
• A belief that she will never be alone
Universal acceptance and forgiveness (if anyone can do, it’s Santa!)
oh, and a new light green VW beetle, a bigger shoe-rack and a gift cert. for my favorite shoe shop. And to meet Jon Bon Jovi
Dear Santa,
For Christmas I wish you could somehow make my mom like me. All I ask for is to feel a little love from her. Since she doesn’t treat me like if I am her daughter. All I get from her are punishments and comparisons to how I’m not like other kids. Please make this change, even if it is just for one day. That would mean alot to me.
Ps, Can you please remove these cuts on my arms?
From, Tink.
@augustlan: Thank you. See, I can do snark and serious in the same thread.
@jonsblond: Ah, if only we lived closer. We’d get on famously.
@Tink1113: I’m so very sorry your mother isn’t what you envision when you think of the word “mom”. And while her lack of affection will no doubt haunt you well into adulthood – know this.
Regardless of who she is, her opinion holds no water on how lovable you are.
Her negativity does not reflect how intelligent you are.
Her comparrisons do not reveal how unique you are.
Only you get to decide these things about yourself, through your actions.
And from what you demonstrate here on Fluther, I’d venture to say that any of us would be proud to call you daughter or sister or friend.
Better health for 2 family members and continued good health for the rest
Comfort for J Santa knows who and why
I’d probably be ‘three sheets to the wind’ and apologizing for squashing the poor guy.
if you see me on santa’s lap, do me a favor…shoot me
Dreaming big?
Eternal youth, a replicator and a TARDIS.
I hope Santa won’t mind having some competition. I’d go around the world all year handing out more useful things to people who need it more.
Not that I wouldn’t use my gifts for fun too.
And happiness for @Tink1113.
I would ask Santa to please let me get off his lap, people are starting to stare.
That he allow me to move AWAY from his erection.
I’d ask Santa for a new laptop.
mental health and physical health, if I had those, the rest I could sort out…
Depends on how cute Santa is.
To get down without twisting an ankle… and to not have any of my friends see me just then.
For Hubbs to find a job that he loves and is reflective of his higher degree.
A Barrett m82a1 with no papers.
My husband to return in time for us to spend Christmas together as a family.
@Lua_cara, I’m going to ask for that, too, then.
Same thing I ask for every year…a beach house in the Carolina’s!! HELLO SANTA!! I have been really really extra good this year!!! It’s about time dude!!
In the words of the Rolling Stones song, “Money. That’s what I want.”
Gift cards,gift cards,gift cards.
I’d ask to hit the Lotto and Powerball on the SAME night ! There are several people that I’d really love to help as well as a few charities like the Orphanges/ Children’s Homes, Homeless Shelters, Animal Rescue Shelters, Child Abuse Shelters, etc that could realyy use a few $$$$ right now . .. and right now I am helpless to do anything ; but wait and hope that someday I get a chance to help rescue them all .
uh Santa, just send me “da money!”
Assuming this Santa Claus could actually make it happen, I’d hope he could make my boyfriend get better as well as his friend so that I could finally go and see him. I mean, what kind of Christmas Break is this?
If i sat on Santa’s lap, i would ask for Santa a new lap, since i am 6 ft. 5 in. tall and weigh 235. i would also ask for world peace and a better economy for you and i for Christmas. there is no feeling on earth like sharing what you have with someone else.
Santa! Hi! ::giggle::
First, can I thank you for letting me meet a Python this year? That made me so happy!
OK, I would like for all my friends who need to find a job this Christmas get a job in something they like doing that pays well. And then for me, I would like to get help in creating a TV/film production company as an LLC. I know how one runs, but I don’t know how to get one started. And I’d like some money and a partner to start it with.
Thank you, Santa! Bye! ::waves, runs to electronics department::
@majorrich What are you planning to do with an anti-material rifle? suspicious
For all legitimate Children’s charities to have unlimited funds, And enough of my own money to move out of my parents house.
Two microphone cables so I could run the audio on my show the way it should be. I know it is only a Fifty dollar bill I’m asking Santa for, but times are tough. I have been a very good boy all year.
Santa, “you dirty old man!” Get your hand off my _ _ _ _! “okay, now we can talk Santa!” “My name is Tiger Woods and I would like a girlfriend for Christmas!” Santa says to Tiger, “not a problem, I’ll send you, let me see, about 15 girlfriends, will that do Tiger?” Tiger says, “this that will be great Santa, but please don’t tell anyone, especially Elin!
“Next!”
“My name is Barack Obama Santa!” “Santa, what i want for Christmas, is an idea on how to develop JOBS!” Santa says, “that will be an easy one Barack, i’ll fire all the Republicans, and maybe, you can get something done up there!” Barack says, “oh, thank you Santa, 2010 will be a much better year!”
Nothing for myself but i would ask him for health and happiness for my family and all my friends because that would make me happy.
@trumi . . . you want santa to bring you a bottle of jack?
I ask santa to turn himself into a hot lady :)
I’d ask for him to calm down!lol!
I ask for him to take that Candy Cane out his pocket.
It’s digging into my hip…wait
An Xbox 360, you know, just in case the first one breaks
Twenty million dollars in low denominations, unmarked, nonsequential bills. And written proof that any relevant taxes are taken care of.
To wake up from this bad dream.
Silly stuff…....a 1928 craftsman house with a library, to make my living writing/speaking, to make enough money so that I don’t have to worry and to have enough to share, a flat in Paris, all of the Persephone book imprints in one go, oh and yes…. a man who is mad about me that I am mad about, too.
The real stuff? An end to suffering. An end to the victimization of women and young girls especially in countries where they still have no human rights. The ultimate gift? For every human being on the planet to go to bed with a full belly, to sleep without fear and with a dream that is still intact inside their soul that will lead them to their true destiny.
I would ask for a 32g black Iphone 3gs. Or a signed copy of “Under the Dome” by Stephen King.
World peace, and a supercomputer.
My cousin to heal completely, so that he’s even better than he was before the accident
Perfectly fitting fencing equipment
An impecable body
World Peace
For the glue remnants on my teeth from braces go away
An unlimited gift card to iTunes
Feeding the hungry
Lego models of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Guggenheim, the Eiffel Tower, Taj Mahal, Sydney Opera House, etc (I making Lego stuff)
Less of a temper
The ability to fly
Less shyness
@Symbeline, I’d settle for peace in the family and a decent virus checker.
psst…@lonelydragon. It was the Beatles.
—@AstroChuck “I ask for him to quit poking me with that candy cane in his pocket” Flawless!!!! <wolfwhistles>
Um, Hi, Santa,
You know that I’ve been wonderful this year, right? Please, please let my family get along. Get your elves to give my one brother a swift kick in the arse. He needs to chill with the gossip, quite being a shit disturber and get a life of his own.
My Sis, Santa, that woman does it all, despite the fact that she’s in so much physical and emotional pain. Cut her a break, Santa. Take away her pain. I don’t know how else to help her. I love so much. You know that.
My Pops? Get him to reach other to his kids more and quite being so damn selfish. Oh, and his health.. make sure that he is okay.
For me, I just want to be happy. The last two years have been rough, but things are starting to change. Just let it get better, Santa. That’s all that I want.
And, Santa, don’t let us forget her…
<<hops off the big guy’s knee>>
To get off quicker than a jack rabbitLOL!
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