Is anyone happier after they leave a marriage for a second or third marriage?

The divorce from my first wife is the best thing I ever did. The worst part was leaving my son. After two years he came to live with me and then everything was perfect. I have been married to my second wife for 11 years now and have never been happier.

My husband says he’s much happier now. ;) (I’m his second wife.) His first one “forgot” to pay the mortgage for two years, hid bills in the trash under bloody “feminine supplies,” spent hundreds of dollars every month on long distance and bank overdraft fees, and – years after the divorce – called up the mortgage company we’re using to say that she thinks she’s still married to him and has half-interest in the house. And, for the last 10 years of their 18 year marriage, had sex with him about once a year out of obligation.

He claims I’m much nicer.

I love my daughter. she has had the worlds worst luck with marriages. she is with her fifth husband now. i cannot speak personally for myself, but i can tell you what it has done to my daughter. she feels worthless and it worries me. she told me one time, “i’m going to keep trying to find Mr. Right, just like you, dad”. needless to say, i almost cried. i cannot chose the man my daughter dates or marries. i wish i could. i can only be here for her through the good times and the bad times.

My brother’s first divorce was simply a way to right a bad decision on both their parts. Each were nice people, but neither should have been married to the other. There were no children involved, no joint property that amounted to anything, and no large debts of any sort. She still says “hi” periodically.

His second divorce was painful and devastating to just about everyone in the family except his second wife, who seems perfectly content to be totally self-absorbed and able to place all blame for everything on others, including her infidelity.

His third marriage seems to be by far the happiest. There are no hidden agendas, and neither of them have any money so no one is coveting anything. They are both very caring parents and are raising a combination of his kids, her kids, her stepkids from her second husband, several loaner kids, and one grandchild. Their life is chaotic and poor, but filled with fun and music. The only frustration is his second ex and her second ex, both of whom are rather toxic people.

Sometimes I think it would be best if the two ex’s married each other, but that would never work. Both are too narcissistic.

Ack, are you kidding? I am so glad to have divorced my first husband and my current husband would tell you the same about his divorce – we were not with the right people for us, we were young (though it’s no excuse)...we are SO much better matched together…I have never been happier.

I’m finally happy late in life after two failed marriages.

Getting out of that marriage in three weeks was THE best thing and the smartest that I ever did .

I also realized that some people are really not the “Marrying Type” and i am one of those… so I’ve remained singel and enjoy my own space and freedom .

Howver; there are times that i do wish that there was someone here in the evenings – night to watch tv with , talk to etc… so I substitute my questioner and answer site at the moment for that special someone… only thing is , I can’t go to lunch or dinner with my Flurhter friends .

“I can’t go to lunch or dinner with my Flurhter friends”

Sure you can! Make a sandwich and eat it at your keyboard, all the while regaling us with tales of the exotic feast you have fixed up. It may be virtual, but it is still a meal shared.

:-)

@Darwin Thank you ! I’d never really thought of that . Maybe I will do that Christmas day with my ham sandwich and glass of tea .

Actually, we do that fairly often. Talk about food, I mean. Here’s an example.

@Darwin @HighShaman ; um, did I miss a step here?

@skfinkel Not too much. I had mentioned that I can’t go to lunch with my Fluther friends and Darwin suggested that I bring a sandwich etc to the keyboard and have lunch while on Fluther ; thus having a virtual lunch with Fluther friends etc….

Sounds like a good idea and I’ll probably be doing that Christmas ..

@skfinkel – Not really, although perhaps we should have put it all in a whisper.

Oh my God, yes! My second marriage is a real marriage filled with love. My first was a disaster. Except for my two oldest daughters I can’t name one good thing that came out of that train wreck.

My first marriage was awful. What a bitch. My second marriage is better, because I have had kids there too, and she is nicer some of the time.

Defintely better on Round Two. Not that it’s perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but much better than the first one.

Happier?? hmmmm…I’d say now I’m not scared, traumatized, victimized, depressed, devastated and disappointed. Is that happier? Maybe “relieved” would be the perfect word. Much more relaxed.

Unquestionably.

It depends on when you ask me! Sometimes, when my ex is being pleasant and cooperative, I feel sad that we could not have been in this space more often, and then maybe we would have not put ourselves and our children through divorce. Then, there are those other moments when I am doing something that never would have been possible in my marriage, like having a career, and I feel fortunate to be out of what was a bad situation. Second marriages can be a great opportunity, provided that one has learned from the mistakes made the first time around.