What do you say to gain admittance through the pearly gates?

In. As would all mankind.

I’m pretty positive God would give me a hand basket, tell me to hop inside and push me the other direction.

speak friend and enter.

I’d apologize for my people killing his son. (the hebrew people).

Open Sesame?

I’d say, I’m here baby…let the party begin!

After all, since this god being is lovingkindness, I am sure everyone is forgiven (if that is even a necessary step) and all are welcome.

In other words, the gates are wide-open.

I do NOT believe that the dark side has cookies.

“Daddy’s home.”
Any How I Met Your Mother fans??

I can’t even imagine a world in which we spend a while life on earth only to be judged for it to determine if we are worthy to enter a paradise for eternity by a God who claims to be omniscient. I suppose if you accept Christian theology, then I’m out. But if Glenn Beck gets in, then I’m gonna say they’ve got to let me in.

I’m here, are you ready?

Holy crap this shit is real?! I’m sorry…....uhhhmmmmm can I come in?.......heh….heh….

Yeah, about all those times I said I didn’t believe in you…Psshh, I was just joking…Hilarious, right? Right?
awkward silence

@shego You sound like Pee Wee!

Jonathon Edwards, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell find themselves in front of the pearly gates, at the end of a long line.

After a long time of waiting the three finally make it in front of St. Peter, who is about to interview them.

Just then an angel comes by escorting a young woman with a ripped dress, bruises, dirt smudges, and a steering wheel around her neck.

St. Peter hurries over and opens the gate. “Come right in, my dear woman!” he says.

When he gets back to his podium Falwell is angry, fit to burst.

“We’ve been waiting in line for ages!” he wails. “After all the God’s work we three have done, why does this woman get to breeze right in?”

St. Peter says, “Gentleman, with her driving, she’s scared the Hell out of more people than you three combined.”

@Fly That was rockin’ LOL

@Pseudonym Ali Baba or Big bird now there’s a quandry.

@ucme lol! :) Does that mean that I have a house that has feelings too?

@shego La la la hey hey hey!

I say nothing and use bribery.

I piss on the gate hope it’s not electric and enjoy my time in hell

In? I would be sitting on the throne.

I’d say “why you flippin me the bird dude?”

Perhaps, he’s a bit socially inept or like St. Francis, likes animals better???

Recite the UN Declaration of human rights.

If there ever is going to be anything like “heaven,” it’s going to be an experience we invent for ourselves, possibly by transferring our consciousnesses into a computer program. I’d imagine the people in control of such a program would be western liberals.

I’m trying to get enough miles to get in as for now, my balance is still negative, it got worse after the transformers question :s

Ok; I believe that once you’ve made it to the “Pearly Gates” ; it is too late to do or say anything .

The time to do and say is right now by living life as the best “YOU” that “YOU” can be…... and to believe in KARMA.

I believe in karma as : “Whatsoever you Think, Do, or Say out into the eathers… it shall come back to YOU TEN Fold or ten times….. ”

Thus following that principle, there is NOTHING you can say once you are there… you’ve already decided YOUR fate.

This of course.

@Qingu, that place would surely not be Heaven.

“Say?” I’d have a twenty folded in my palm. And I’d better get a damned gosh darn good seat by the window.

@CyanoticWasp, a city of noncorporeal immortals capable of making and doing anything they want without harming anyone or anything wouldn’t be heaven?

Well, okay. In the Bible, the kingdom of heaven doesn’t sound all that exciting (it actually sounds rather gruesome in Revelation.) In the Quran, Paradise is just this place with lots of flowing water, delicious fruit, and servants and sex slaves. I’d take a nice kitchen and the Internet over either of these “heavens.”

@Qingu, I meant any place run by western liberals. I’ll join you in the kitchen. You do have a router with multiple ports, right? I’ll bring the doughnuts.