Stay at home mom's: Do you ever feel like your days are a complete waste?

Before I met my husband, I often felt like dates were a waste of shaving.

I don’t go through all that nonsense if I don’t think I’m leaving or having visitors.

It’s funny, the shaving thing… I was telling someone the other day that I didn’t shave so I knew the guy I was going out with that night wasn’t coming home with me, it’s like birth control.

I think we also wear makeup and fix ourselves up for US… not just to look “good” when we go out. I just work part time and even when I’m home, I like to look as good as possible just for ME. My husband wouldn’t care if wore make up or not. I can’t remember (except when I’m sick) never taking a shower and doing my hair and using a bit of makeup. It just makes me feel good.

Like @Samantha_Rae , I don’t bother with doing my hair or makeup unless I’m leaving the house. I get my two oldest kids off to school, take a shower, and get dressed. What I put on depends on my plans for the day. If I’m just running errands, I throw on jeans and a shirt with no stains or rips, pull my hair back without drying it, slap on the minimum amount of makeup to avoid scaring people, and head out the door.

If I’m going to be cleaning around the house, don’t have errands, and don’t have to take my youngest to preschool that day, I don’t even take a shower until I’ve done the worst of the cleaning. I’d rather scrub the bathroom before showering than after.

I only put more effort into my appearance if I have to go to a meeting at the school, plan on shopping someplace other than the grocery store or Wal-Mart, or am meeting someone for lunch.

Then there are the days when I just don’t bother with anything. Don’t shower, stay in my pj’s, and spend the day playing with my son, reading, and Fluthering. I do throw some clothes on when I have to go out to meet my first grader’s bus. I have a day like this a couple of times a month. It’s necessary for my mental health.

I personally could not do it but I have know a few people who have found the practice fulfilling.

You didn’t mention any interaction with your children, which is the heart of the “stay-at-home-mom” thing. So, was that a complete waste as well?

In the colder months, yes, they are a lot like that. I find no need to put make up on (ever, really) and I might change my pajamas…but I don’t see the need. We have plenty of fun at home, playing with trains, hide and seek, peekaboo, ring around the rosie…we also have pets that also help fill the time. I’m excited for christmas because that means more toys, and we’re going to start playing with Playdoh, and we got more track for his train set, so that’ll be fun.

Some days, I do get lonely and depressed…I just want an adult to interact with. Thank goodness for the internet, because I’m alone usually 16 hours a day.

all the time. it is a fabulous luxury to do nothing sometimes. almost all my days are like this. I rarely leave my house.

Not for me… but my baby’s a newborn, and so I am pretty much busy 24/7 (between the feedings, rockings, diaper changes, entertaining her, then trying to keep the house clean while she naps, I often feel like I don’t get enough of a break at all). I don’t put on makeup or anything anymore, simply because from the moment I wake up until the moment my partner gets home, I’m busy.

I have been a stay at home mom for 31 years.
My oldest is 31 my youngest is 13.
It’s like most things, there are good and bad days.
There are exciting events and boring tasks.
Some days you look good, some days you don’t.
Some days aren’t long enough, some seem to last forever.
I have been lonely at times, but most of the time, no; I’m very happy.

In the long run, and I have had a long run at this.
It’s the best decision I ever made.

My mother was a stay at home mom most of the time I was still living at home. She never did that… She would fix things in the house that had broken. She would go grocery shopping and volunteer at my school’s library and hang out with friends.

Most stay at home moms don’t just get all dressed up with nowhere to go. The reason they became stay at home moms is because they have a lot to do, not nothing.

@skfinkel Of course interaction with your kids isn’t a waste. I never said that. But getting all done up just for your children to see you doesn’t make much sense to me. They don’t care what their mommy looks like.

@ItalianPrincess1217: Not every woman gets all done up every day. Sometimes we just wake up, eat breakfast, and start our day.

@Samantha_Rae Lurve for you! Thank god I’m not the only one that uses that method.

@KatawaGrey I’m well aware that not every woman gets all done up everyday. I was just trying to get the opinions of those who do. I’m wondering if they ever feel like it’s a waste of time/pointless to even bother.

I don’t think it’s a waste of time.
But I also think it’s unhealthy to just stay home all day. Even stay at home moms and housewives need hobbies. I think when they make their families and husbands their “whole world” it’s just asking for trouble. No matter what you have to take care of yourself, and feel good about yourself. Hobbies, exercise, and even putting on some lipstick or getting/giving yourself a manicure are good for you and definitely not a waste.

@ItalianPrincess1217: Ah, then perhaps you should have aimed your question at them and not at stay at home moms.

@KatawaGrey I’m not understanding…

@ItalianPrincess1217: Your question is specifically directed at stay at home moms. In the details, however, you only talk about getting all done up and going nowhere. this has nothing specifically to do with stay at home moms, but it does have everything to do with women who get all done up every day.

@KatawaGrey Origianlly my question was aimed at women in general but the mods pulled it for editing. So I changed it up a bit. Regardless, stay at home mom’s usually stay home. So I think it’s appropriate to ask them if they feel like it’s a waste when they get dolled up only to find themselves playing with their children or doing chores all day.

@ItalianPrincess1217: Ah, see that goes back to my original problem. You’re assuming that stay at home moms get all dolled up on a regular basis. If this was the fifties, maybe that would be the case, but most stay at home moms I know don’t bother.

@KatawaGrey I apologize if I somehow made it sound like I thought every stay at home mom gets all done up on a daily basis. I was simply trying to ask the ones who did how it made them feel. I was also open to hearing from the ones who didn’t get dolled up. It wasn’t soley directed at anyone in particular. I edited my question so many times, it didn’t come out the exact way I’d hoped. I thought it was perfect the first time around but the mods disagreed. Meh, oh well ;)

@ItalianPrincess1217: Ah, well, there ya go. Our wires got a little crossed is all. Apologies for the mix up.

@KatawaGrey No problem. It happens. Like I said, I can understand the confusion. My initial question said “Ladies: Do you ever feel like the day has been a total waste of makeup?” I wish I would have stuck with that one.

When I was a stay at home mom w/ my first, I was also a full time grad student so the days were never a waste of time – my mom or partner watched the baby in the evenings…I don’t wear much make up and getting ‘dolled up’ is a huge waste of time, imo…time I never had…it did drive me insane sometimes to just stay at home all the live long day…it’s not for me…

@ItalianPrincess1217 It’s hard to know what the real issue is here. Some people just love wearing make-up. It’s kind of separate from the at home with kids thing. Being home with children does not mean in my mind like you are spending endless hours at home with your children. It means that you are available to your children to find wonderful things going on in the city you live in, have time to play with them, have time to have play dates with their friends. Whether you wear make-up or not is pretty much not going to impress the children—except that if it takes a long time to do or they can’t touch you once it’s on.

@skfinkel What’s hard to understand? Let me start over. Being a stay at home mom consists of doing the same thing day after day, playing with your kids, making crafts, getting dirty, cleaning the house, making meals, etc. Is it worth getting all dressed in nice clothes, making your hair pretty, and putting on makeup?Doesn’t it seem pointless on the days when you don’t even leave the house? Or is it something you do anyway just because it makes you feel good?

Understand now?

I’m a stay-at-home-er and I know exactly what you’re asking about. Personally, make-up for me is a mask without which I never leave the house. But that’s a whole other issue.

In answer to your question, I feel the same way now as I did as a university student cooped up at home writing my dissertation. I have to get up, make the bed, get dressed, put on my face and jewelry in order for the day to properly begin. If I stay in my pjs, nothing gets done, which is fine once in a while but most days I need to get something done. I don’t feel it is a waste, it’s just a ritual to get the day started and I always feel better for it. My son likes to watch and to mess with my eyeshadow etc.

Incidentally, we do go out most days, otherwise my son tends to go bonkers, let alone me!