Political correctness aside:what are your thoughts on "Stay at home Dads"?

Wouldn’t work for me, but I can see where it works for some. It will be the case in my sister’s house soon enough- there, it’s the perfect scenario.

Times are tough. People gotta do what they gotta do to keep their family afloat. If one parent makes significantly more than the other, it might make sense for that one to keep the job and let the other one stay home – whether it’s a man or a woman. It’s not like whoever it is gets to sit around eating bonbons and reading mystery novels all day, anyway – parenting, I hear, is hard.

I don’t see anything wrong with it at all. I think it’s great when fathers get a chance to be the “primary”, stay at home parent. I would be curious though, as to what you think the proper role of a father is in the family. Is there a more “manly” way to father than Garth Brooks” “woosy” :) way?

I think it is sad when someone looks down on a parent, male or female, that stays home with the children.

My husband is a stay at home dad and it ain’t because times are tough – we’re just not gendered in terms of our family roles – we both applied for work, I got it first, that is all – there is nothing wrong with either of us so need to think whatever it is you think – he’s a wonderful father, an amazing being and truth be told he probably gets more of what you think a ‘real man’ should get in terms of sex, love and success…

How is it any different than a mother staying at home? Both are parents, and I think it’s great when one of them stays home. I don’t understand what inappropriate things you are thinking about them…what are they?

My son is a “stay at home” dad at the moment while he finishes his dissertation, prepares conference talks and video-chats with his adviser and other scholars. His wife is teaching and working on her dissertation. Their baby is the happiest baby I’ve ever seen. You’ve got a problem with the arrangement?

I think it’s great. There should be more equality in the world.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I wholeheartedly agree with @casheroo… it’s no different than a stay-at-home mom.

@Pretty_Lilly you have a weird definition of “keeping it to [your]self”. Apparently what you mean is “talk about it behind their backs”.

I think it’s great. I have a lot of respect and admiration for men that are able to put aside gender norms and risk ridicule ahem to do what they love and/or what is required of them. Some women don’t want to be the primary caregiver and some men do.

We should support all people who choose to live outside of gender fascism.

That’s great that there are parents who see that it’s a shared job to raise a child.

@MrItty Maybe you need to look up the definition of the phrase “Talking behind someone’s back” First of all I seriously doubt if anyone here knows any of these stay at home dads. Second: Is not like I’m giving out their names. Third: I have not met a stay at home dad in years and Last:My definition of keeping it to myself is I did not insult him by telling him what I though about it. Just like 3 years ago I saw a huge lady at the mall,she looked like a dead ringer for “Jabba The Hut” even my 3 year old nephew said it,I keep it to myself and did not say it to the lady !!!!

@Pretty_Lilly so proud of you!

You didn’t say what your three year old nephew said, and we’re supposed to be impressed?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I can tell that you and I are not gonna get along so just stay clear of me I do not feel like taking a hand help mirror and look at our vaginas,sing Kum Bah Ya my lord songs with you then cry about the injustices in this world and work toward better acceptance of each other.

Did it ever cross your mind that there may be stay at home dads on fluther? I don’t understand how a father could be considered “Woosey” either.

I think a more open mind to this century would be a potentially beneficial life change for you.

@Pretty_Lilly ha, you wish

@Pretty_Lilly
1) I do, in fact, know stay at home dads
2) You did, in fact, mention one specifically by name
3) So you kept it to yourself for a specified period of time, not for ever.
4) Not telling him, but telling others, is in fact the definition of talking about him behind his back, not keeping it to yourself.

@MrItty Oh! Yeah I’m certain Garth Brooks is gonna have his heart broken of what I think about his life choices.

@Pretty_Lilly So “keeping it to yourself” means “only talking about it if the person doesn’t care what you think”?

You continue to have a weird definition of the phrase.

@Pretty_Lilly by the by I keep forgetting to ask..what Church do you attend? ‘cause, I gotta start going there…hand held mirrors and all…seems from your avatar, they would, like, so come in useful

Perhaps, as a Christian, you may find this passage from Matthew 7 enlightening.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I knew you were a weirdo when you made a comment yesterday that the word “Hermaphrodite ” was insensitive ??? It is a medical term !! The term comes from the name of the minor Greek god Hermaphroditus, son of Hermes and Aphrodite.

@Pretty_Lilly really?!!! how interesting – my, nobody has ever enlightened me so…a medical term? fascinating – why, I, a person of science, sociology and activism for the intersex community for the past 7 years have never heard of this before…if you want to have an open discussion on why the term is outdated and how it relates to intersex politics, I’ll be more than glad to help..us weirdos love to engage the normals.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Well, may be not yet,maybe when I come across a Hermaphrodite stay at home dad,we can discuss it over a spot of tea and some crumpets (Let’s be civilized and keep our pinkies out during the entire time,though) !! For now can we just sing camp fire songs !!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermaphrodite

@Pretty_Lilly snap, I know you didn’t just whoop out a wiki entry on my ass – that’s be like if I sent you a link on Playboy bunny looking costumes and stilettos.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir there’ll be a pretty good chance of the models’ name is Lilly !!

@Pretty_Lilly nooo, not a Playboy Bunny looking at costumes – ah, never mind

what the hell is there to think about

Women have been “emancipated” for years and I think its extremely unfair that boys and men are still held much more strictly to outdated and nonsensical societal norms. Growing up I was encouraged to play sports, I wore boys shoes and was told that I can do or be whatever I like when I grow up and was encouraged (not in so many words) to not let my gender direct my life. I don’t see a difference between a family where the man is the primary income earner vs. woman as the primary earner. If we are all truly equal we should not be judged on the role we play in our families.

I doubt my fiancé would ever take on that role (and I would personally prefer to be at home with my babies) but I don’t look down on dads that do it. I respect them!

Also “wuss” isn’t spelled with a double ‘o’.

Fine by me as long as someone is making money for the household.

I’m sure there are wonderful fathers out there who are stay at home dads but I have to be completely honest here. When I hear the phrase “stay at home dad”, I can’t help but think of my friends husband who has taken every opportunity to not work while being in a relationship with my friend. Even before they had kids I feel as if she has been the principal provider for their household and I can’t help feeling that he is taking advantage of the situation. Now I’m sure this is not the case in a lot of these stay at home dad scenarios but I guess that because of my friends situation I just feel that it’s not fair for her.
But like I said, I’m sure this works out best for some people.

@kheredia – many women do the same thing you’ve described your friend’s husband doing; how do you feel about women looking for a provider?

@Spirit_of_the_Nomad I think everybody should provide for themselves.

@Spirit_of_the_Nomad It’s more socially acceptable for a woman to depend on a man than a man to depend on a woman. Most people still believe that men are the providers and the women take care of everything else.

@Facade – I’m extremely aware of that (see my original response to this question) and I think its absolutely ridiculous. My friends are mostly male and while we are at pretty much the same point in life they have pressures that I simply don’t have to put up with (like being able to buy a girl dinner.) Men’s cultural revolution will be a slow time coming because they aren’t oppressed by another group, they are their own oppressors and as such will have a hard time coming together the way oppressed groups throughout history have to change the way society views them. Also the types of things (e.g. men don’t cry, men like sports, men should be handy, men should support a family, etc.) don’t seem as serious as things like voting rights and consequently most of society doesn’t understand why these types of attitudes are detrimental to men’s psyches. I hope that the day is near where boys will be as free to be themselves as women.

@Spirit_of_the_Nomad I wasn’t arguing, just adding to what you said And while I as a woman and a minority am not too stressed about men and their lack of freedoms, I agree.

@Facade I wasn’t trying to be argumentative, either. Your response to my statement is exactly how most people feel about these issues if they aren’t downright in support of maintaining the status quo. I definitely wasn’t trying to mitigate any minority groups’ struggles, I just think there are some social norms that need to be altered to keep up with the times. I know that if I had a son I wouldn’t want him to feel embarrassed if he wanted to play with Barbie or be a stay at home dad.

Right :)

I know several stay-at-home dads. My husband was one for a while. He was too disabled to work in the courtroom as a bailiff (in essence a bodyguard for the judge) but was still able to drive, cook, clean (sort of), shop, wait for repair people, and ride herd on the kids. Once he could no longer drive, I took early retirement so I could do the things he couldn’t.

And I can tell you this: anyone who is the stay-at-home parent is definitely not a wuss or a woos or whatever you want to call them. Staying at home, running the household and keeping up with the kids is not an easy job. It can be exhausting, mind-numbing, muscle-straining, frustrating, and stinky. However, it can also be a delight to watch the kids grow and learn every day.

Now there is a difference between a stay-at-home parent and a parasite. In reference to @kheredia‘s friends, the man would appear to be a parasite. In some couples, the woman is a parasite. In most couples, the work load is shared in some form or other, whether either or both work outside the house, and no matter who stays home with the kids.

I say yippee for guys like Garth Brooks who love their kids and their wives and who are flexible enough to take on whatever job it is necessary for them to do to help the family as a whole prosper.

Stay at home parent is a tough gig if done properly and I tip my hat to any dad who does it. Moms too.

@Silhouette Thank you. Stay at home parents are the minority anymore. It is unfortunate that they have to explain themselves to those that do work outside of the household, and are treated as though they do nothing throughout the day. It is a thankless job.

@jonsblond Very tough job. I know when I did it I would dream about a nice relaxing ditch digging job. I would have be willing to dig with my bare hands.

I don’t see a problem with it…but what about a dad who stays at home in his ex-girlfriend’s house and lives in the basement? She is done with him but gets free daycare.

@Freedom_Issues – But are they his kids?

@Darwin Yes. I do not have an opinion on it, I was just curious as what others though.

If they are his kids, then he’s doing what he needs to do to make sure they get good care.

What I think about stay at home dads is how lucky their kids will be to be able to know their father as more than a dinner to bedtime presence.

I think about how hard it is to be a stay at home parent and how doubly challenging when there will always be someone thinking “wuss” when they hear of their life choice. I applaud them for their ego challenging choice.