Why aren't you fixing your relationship issues?

There is no glue strong enough to fix some broken relationships hun.

I am afraid of opening myself up to him enough to talk about whats bothering me. Absolutely terrified…which is why my relationships don’t usually last longer than a couple of weeks.

The issues that have remained after 8 years are things we have learned to accept, and we make compromises. I’m not sure the underlying problem is solved, but we are both happy with the way our relationship functions

@tinyfaery sounds like it’s livable with, then and nothing that you’d whine about – so that’s good.

@Kelly_Obrien then those relationships shouldn’t be. period.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Nice of you to make that judgment.

@Kelly_Obrien sure thing – why, do you think a relationship that ‘can’t be fixed’ should remain?

Because some people do not take critism well and I do not like to hurt people.

@Maddysmom that’s a good point – though I’d say it’s a definite flaw if they can not soundly hear criticism about their own contribution to the relationship.

It takes two to tango, but only one to stop the dance.

Whines – He started it.

Fix as you go, while they are small.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You said “then those relationships shouldn’t be. period.”

They should have been. Period. They were wonderful relationships until they reach a point of separation.

Then you changed up a little and said, “sure thing – why, do you think a relationship that ‘can’t be fixed’ should remain?”

Now we are talking a whole different kettle of fish. If they can’t be fixed then they should be ended for the well being of all involved.

yes @Simone_De_Beauvoir

If you can’t quit it you just got to stand it?

I already know my problems can’t be fixed because I willingly want to keep things the way they are. I’m choosing to keep my guard up even though I have a great woman that I would marry tomorrow if given the chance, but I’m simply not ready to take that chance yet.

Don’t rush, the moment will find you!

We have issues. I think we need time, time to mature and to be able to fix them. Once I’m not pregnant, I’m hoping things will get better all around. If they don’t change in a year, then I don’t know where we’ll be.

I have a wonderful relationship with my wife and that is because we both nurture it and give the relationship the thought and effort it requires to keep it fresh and maturing. I work hard on my relationship with my married daughter. We speak nearly every day. My youngest son always takes time in his busy schedule to call me. We talk about twice a week. I call my middle child periodically and I’m working on rebuilding that relationship.

I would be, but I’m presently not in a relationship.

Sometimes, the other person disavows any responsibility for the relationship issues, and insists the problems are all with you, or they disavow any recollection of what started the rending of the relationship.

Because to make any changes to the current situation would be too hurtful to my partner. The kindest thing is to leave it as it is.

It takes two to fix the issues sometimes. My fiancé and I discuss our issues all the time but they keep resurfacing. I think this is mostly due to the fact that when one of us is trying to fix the issue, the other person isn’t. We need to get on the same page before anything gets fixed. If only one is willing to work through things, it’s pointless.

We both exercise our Power of Ignore whenever necessary, but it is so seldom over the past 35 years, I don’t expect it to come up much over the next 35 years either.

John Lennon said “Life is what happens in between making plans”

My wife and I DO try to work on our problems, but the tyranny of the urgent usually gets in the way. We’re eating this elephant one bite at a time, though.

Despite our ongoing differences, we still maintain a deep love for each other, and makes it OK to work on it slowly, I guess.

“Life is what happens to you while you’e busy making other plans…”

He also said, “I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. ...”

thanx for the correction, it makes more sense now.

Right now; while I’m actually in her dwelling, I don’t know. Despite trying everything I could think of to fix it all..
She doesn’t seem to want them to be mended, yet drills me for not being the perfect person. :[

I don’t have relationships as such. I was and maybe still am a co dependant person. However, I don’t believe I can 1) make any one happy 2)improve my own life or theirs by being in one 3) I seem to do better alone 4) I am probably a handful to understand 5) I don’t believe by default we were all meant to have one 6) I understand intimacy and love can come from friends – none sexual 7) sex can come from friends if you fancy a bit. I just never really understood relationships. I hope I do one day. But I would never stay in one and moan. That’s why I am single.

@Just_Justine whatever works for you is best, :)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir ‘then those relationships shouldn’t be. period.’

is it really for you to say…. not everything is in black and white, thing is relationships are not suppose to be easy, sometimes when the ‘glue’ is weak people can surprise you, I’ve seen it happen.

people only runaway when things get tough, and usually its when two people can’t communicate their understandings… but every one can communicate you just have to learn how to or it takes time.

@shoebox That was in response to relationships that can’t be fixed. If they can’t be fixed, they shouldn’t be. If they can be fixed and people are willing, then perhaps they should be.